Longing for Her Forbidden Viking

by Harper St. George

  Taking the bundle of canvas from her, he unrolled it to reveal two small stakes inside. He drove those into the ground he had cleared and then tied the canvas to it. The other ends of the canvas he tied to the limbs, making certain to leave enough at the edges so that it hung down to make a shelter. Understanding his intention now, she hurried to help Ander at the other tree, picking up a bough and sweeping the snow away as Aevir had done beneath the fir. He murmured his thanks as he came over and they worked together to get it set up.

  With both the makeshift tents set up, Aevir urged her inside one and went off to wherever Oleif and the horses were. It was so dark beneath the canvas that she could barely see her hand in front of her, but at least it protected her from the snow and wind. It was still cold even with her fur, so she sat with her back against where a length of canvas fell against the trunk of the tree and brought her knees to her chest. She hoped that Aevir would build a fire, but she couldn’t figure out how he would be able to do it. There was no way for the smoke to escape and it couldn’t be safe to have a flame so close to the trees.

  He ducked in under the canvas a few moments later, snow coating his hair and the fur cloak. He shook himself off as best he could before lowering the edge of the material and moving over to her. If he lay down flat the tent would probably barely contain him. It was impossible to stand inside the low structure. Even sitting, he had only about a hand’s length of space between his head and the top.

  As soon as he got close to her, he said, ‘You’re freezing.’

  Since he couldn’t see her that well, she assumed it was the chattering of her teeth that gave her away. ‘Only a little.’ She tried to make it sound light-hearted, but knew that she failed. Before she could protest or even decide if being close to him was a good idea for her peace of mind, he scooped her up and took her place against the tree. Settling her on his lap, he wrapped his fur around both of them.

  ‘Better?’ he whispered.

  She nodded as his warmth seemed to find its way into her bones. Not even bothering to deny herself a moment longer, she opened her fur and wrapped her arms around him, flattening her torso against his chest. He made that sound she loved deep in his throat and held her tighter. She told herself it was strictly for warmth, but the pleasure she felt at being held by him was a nice advantage.

  ‘Aren’t you cold?’ she asked because it seemed that she was the only one affected by the weather.

  He shifted, his face finding her hair, and then his nose touched her temple. ‘What do you think?’

  It felt like ice and she gasped. He chuckled and moved it away from her skin while still resting his cheek against her hair.

  As she began to thaw, she contemplated how impressed she was at his ability to keep them safe. ‘How do you always know what to do?’

  ‘This isn’t my first time being caught in a snowstorm.’

  It was more than experience. He was always so capable, seeming to know what action each situation called for. His ability to take control was one of the things she had noticed and respected about him from the start. ‘But do you ever...make a mistake?’

  He took a moment to think before saying, ‘That depends. Are you hungry?’

  She had been too cold and tired to think about food, but now that he mentioned it she realised that she could eat. Aside from the stale bread Tolan had offered her, she hadn’t had much to eat since leaving Banford. ‘Aye, I am.’

  There was humour in his voice when he said, ‘Then I am sorry to tell you that I left the food with Oleif and Ander.’

  They both laughed and he made to rise, attempting to set her aside, but she held on to him tight. ‘Nay, I’m not that hungry. Warmth is more important.’ His arms settled about her again. ‘Unless you need food. What am I thinking? Of course you need food—you’re still recovering and I’m sitting on your leg!’ How could she have forgotten? She was probably hurting his injury this whole time. She made to rise, but he tightened his hold on her.

  ‘You weigh nothing. Besides, the way you’re sitting, you’re not even touching my thigh.’ He was right. Her bottom was on his right thigh while her knees were up towards her chest, keeping her feet on the ground and her weight off his left thigh. ‘I ate a bit while we rode and you slept. I’ll be fine. You’re still shivering.’

  ‘I’m still cold.’ Though it wasn’t nearly as bad as before. She didn’t feel like she was on the verge of becoming an icicle any more.

  Running his hands up and down her back and arms, he said, ‘We have to warm you better.’ Gently setting her away from him, he reached between them and tugged up the edges of his tunic and undershirt. Unfortunately, it was too dark to see him, but she could remember well the taut planes of his stomach. The little freckle that was to the left of his navel.

  ‘What are you doing?’ She didn’t know how she had breath to ask the question because her chest had seized.

  ‘Sharing the heat from my body. You’ll get warmer without your clothing and the fur between us.’ The clothing came off over his head and he rolled it into a bundle and set it aside. ‘Do you need me to help you?’ His fingers went to her dress.

  ‘Nay.’ Self-preservation made her cross her arms over her chest. ‘We can’t do whatever it is you’re thinking.’

  ‘I’m only thinking of warmth. Your skin on mine is the best way.’

  ‘Something tells me that Oleif and Ander aren’t skin to skin right now in their tent,’ she said, her gaze unable to leave the silhouette of his naked chest.

  A breath of laughter escaped him. ‘What Oleif and Ander do for warmth is none of our concern. Hurry. I’m very cold.’ He was half-nude in the frigid night air. The tent blocked the wind, but did nothing for the cold. ‘You can turn away from me if it makes you feel better. I swear I’ll not touch you if it’s not your wish.’

  Her heart thundering in her ears, she turned away and began to unfasten her clothing. She really didn’t believe this was some ruse of his to get her nude. The source of her hesitation was that she didn’t trust herself to lie with him like that and not feel things better left alone. She was already having trouble finding her anger from earlier.

  When the ties were loosened his hands came out to help her pull it all off over her head. ‘What of my leggings?’

  ‘Leave them.’ His tone was matter of fact as he rolled the clothing into a bundle and laid it next to his at one end of the tent. Putting one of the furs on the ground, he lay on it and rested his head on one of the bundles and beckoned for her to follow him.

  Even though he couldn’t possibly see her very well in the dark, she kept her arms crossed over her chest as she lay down next to him. She rolled on to her side away from him and he wrapped the fur they were lying on around them and then brought her fur over them. When he had finished his arm found her beneath the layers and pulled her back, flush against his chest and into the cradle of his hips and thighs.

  She lay there, barely able to draw breath as his warmth seeped into her once again.

  ‘You’ll be warmer if you face me,’ he suggested.

  ‘Nay.’ That intimacy was out of the question.

  The hair on his chest rasped against her back in a way that was quite pleasant. His breath warmed her ear and his large hand splayed over her belly, fingertips ending just below her right breast. He’d been right that this was warmer. Soon she stopped shivering, but it only made her more aware of him. The tips of her breasts had drawn into tight points and while, aye, it was very cold, that didn’t explain why they ached for his touch. With her body warm, heat had begun to burn low in her belly, beneath the heel of his hand. She shifted, restlessly searching for a way to stop thinking about him when she felt him hard and thick beneath his trousers. Her eyes opened wide as she froze and tried to bite back the answering arousal that pulsed through her.

  ‘I cannot seem to control myself when I’m with you,’ he whispered.r />
  In the next instant there was a breath of space between them there. She was surprised at how much she regretted that he’d moved away. Want and need throbbed deep down where she had never felt such things until him.

  ‘Are you warmer?’ he asked.

  ‘Aye.’ The furs bound them so tightly together there wasn’t a bit of space between them except for where he’d pulled his hips back from hers. She was warmer than she’d ever thought she could be caught out in a snowstorm.

  ‘Do you...want to dress?’ His voice held a smoky husk that curled its way inside her.

  ‘Nay.’ She wanted to turn in his arms and let him show her the things their bodies could do together. It would be too unwise. If she felt this strongly for him now, it would only be worse afterwards. Did it even matter any more? Was it even possible to feel more in love with him?

  ‘Aevir?’

  ‘Ellan.’

  She had promised herself that she wouldn’t ask him. It would be torture to lie beside him during the storm and know that he was rejecting her again. Still. She had to know. ‘What did you mean when you said that you had changed your mind? Did you...did you mean about your marriage?’

  He was silent for a time. She breathed in and out in small breaths as she waited, certain that what he said would hurt her.

  ‘You should rest. We’ll talk tomorrow.’

  She turned in his arms before she could even think about what she was doing. ‘Nay. Tell me.’

  He leaned over her and she tried not to notice how her breasts were pressed to him. Did he notice? In the darkness she could see the shape of his head and the shadowing where his eyes were. His fingers came up to cup her cheek. ‘What I feel for you belies all reason, all hope for sanity. It’s mad and it’s consuming and I can’t fight it any more. Worse, even if I left you and went away to some far corner of the world, you would still be here.’ Raising up slightly, he let go of her to bring his hand between them and thump his chest. Then he settled over her again, his heart beating so close to hers. ‘I will never be rid of you, Ellan. Never.’

  A lump formed in her throat. Afraid to hope any more, she asked, ‘What does that mean? Do you want to be rid of me?’

  ‘It means that I love you.’ His fingertips caressed her lips in a featherlight touch and moved up to the curve of her cheek.

  A wave of happiness washed through her, but it was immediately followed by wariness. She was afraid that she couldn’t be with him the way he wanted any more than he could be with her the way she wanted him. ‘I still won’t be your concubine.’

  He pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth. ‘Nay, I was wrong to think that could be enough. Be my wife.’

  She gasped and he took her bottom lip between his. ‘What about Lord Vidar? Your marriage?’

  Raising up so that his breath brushed across her cheek as he spoke, he said, ‘Please know that I did not turn my back on you with Tolan. I had planned to escort you and find proof of his treachery. I never would have allowed the marriage to go through, even without that proof. I had already made up my mind on that point.’ He took a deep wavering breath and she braced herself for what would come next. It didn’t seem as if it would be good. ‘The Jarl won’t like my choice, but I won’t go through with the marriage to Annis. He is a reasonable and honest man, and I will appeal to him and am prepared to accept his punishment. But you should know there is a chance that we will have to leave Alvey. Will you do that? Will you come with me?’

  She embraced him and he eased himself down over her, his arms sliding around her waist as he buried his face in her hair. ‘Aye, I’ll go with you.’

  ‘You’ll be my wife?’

  ‘Aye,’ she whispered, closing her eyes to enjoy the feel of his mouth on her ear, her throat. Could it really be this easy now?

  When he realised she wasn’t responding, he raised his head a bit. ‘What’s wrong?’

  ‘Nothing... I’m happy...it’s only...’

  ‘Only what?’ He prodded her gently.

  ‘Why the change of heart?’ She tried to hold back her anger, but the flames licked up her throat and singed her words. ‘Why did you make us suffer only to—?’ She broke off when her throat closed.

  ‘Oh, Ellan, Ellan.’ He sighed and pressed his forehead to hers. ‘I didn’t trust that our feelings could be so deep so quickly. Even when I suspected they were I was determined to not open myself up to pain again. But I was a fool. It took almost losing you to see that.’

  She squeezed her eyes shut and tightened her hold on him. ‘You don’t think you’ll feel differently tomorrow?’

  He let out a breath that sounded like a mirthless laugh and cupped her face. ‘Never will I feel differently. I love you. Even if I never saw you again, I would still love you. It’s too late to save myself, if that’s what you’re asking. I can’t risk losing you again.’

  It was what she was asking. Would he decide that the risk of loving her was too much once they reached Banford and faced Lord Vidar’s wrath? Would he decide then not to marry her?

  ‘But what of status and power? You won’t have that with me.’

  He shook his head. ‘I’ll find some other way. It may take longer, but if it means that you will be there by my side, the wait will be worth it. I only know that I cannot have a future without you in it. You...our life together...our children...our future is more important to me.’

  Taking his head between her hands, she whispered, ‘But it’s what you’ve wanted for so long. Can you truly give that up for me?’

  He smiled. ‘Ellan, you are worth everything. Land, coin, none of that can replace you. As I rode after you I imagined having those things without you. It was a very real possibility and having them simply didn’t matter to me without having you. I realised that I had used them as a way to prevent myself from ever loving again.

  ‘You crept in anyway. You hold my heart. Never will I allow you to get away from me. You are mine and I am yours, and it’s been that way since the moment we met.’ His mouth crushed hers and for the first time in days hope trickled in.

  Chapter Twenty

  Ellan only regretted that she could not see his face clearly as Aevir had said those precious things to her. When he kissed her, his hands moved over her as he took her mouth. They seemed to be everywhere at once. Her shoulder, her hip, her stomach, her breast, in a dizzying rotation that stole her breath.

  ‘You don’t know how often I’ve dreamed of you like this. Lying beneath me with your pretty breasts out.’ His breath was hot on her lips as he spoke between kisses.

  ‘Too bad you can’t see them,’ she teased, leaning up the slightest bit to recapture his tongue. She would take this now. Tomorrow was soon enough to worry about the future.

  ‘Aye, but I can feel them. I can remember how perfect they look.’ He smiled against her mouth as his large palm covered one of them. She arched into the touch and then he drew the nipple between the rough pads of his thumb and forefinger and tugged gently, drawing a moan from her lips and a pleased hum from him. ‘Do you like that?’

  Of course she did. But he seemed to want an answer, so despite the fact that her face was flaming, she said, ‘I like it very much.’

  His mouth moved down the column of her throat, licking and lightly sucking as he went. ‘Let me pleasure you,’ he whispered as he settled over the hollow of her throat, dipping his tongue inside it.

  ‘Aye,’ she said over and over in small breaths.

  He pinched her nipple, drawing out another ragged moan, before he cupped the underside of her breast and lifted it to his mouth. She could barely comprehend what he meant to do before he had taken the tip into the blazing heat of his mouth. She nearly came off the ground as he sucked at her, making pleasure pour through her body. They both shifted, him more fully over her, and she parted her thighs as he wedged his knee between them. His hands moved to cup the hollow
s at the back of her knees, drawing them further apart.

  ‘Wider,’ he whispered.

  She relented and let him position them so that he could settle into the cradle of her hips. His manhood was hard against her. She wasn’t bold enough to try to take hold of him there, so she arched upwards towards him, experimenting with the heaviness that lay against her centre. He groaned in response and pushed into her, effectively grinding his length against her. She wasn’t prepared for the answering wave of need that moved through her, making her ache to receive him.

  ‘Aevir,’ she pleaded.

  ‘I want to touch you.’ His voice was a harsh whisper.

  ‘Aye, please.’ Her breath came in gasps, like she’d just taken a run across the moors.

  His hand moved between them and his fingers found her over her leggings. In nimble strokes, he moved up and down the length of her, giving her just enough to crave even more. Her hips bucked as liquid heat fed the ache so that it seemed nearly unbearable.

  ‘Not enough,’ she whispered as she moved restlessly, her fingers twisted almost savagely in his hair as she held him to her breast. ‘Please.’

  He drew her other nipple into his heat, bathing the peak with his tongue before he let it go and moved up to look at her. She would have given anything to see the wicked expression he wore when he said, ‘Unfasten your leggings.’ And then, twining his fingers in the plaited hair at her nape to pull her back for him, he took her mouth in an unforgiving kiss.

  Her hands shook and her fingers were clumsy as she tugged at the ties. For one heart-stopping moment she thought the knot wouldn’t give and she wondered if he could cut it with his knife. But then it loosened and his hand was skimming over her belly to disappear down the front of her leggings.

  ‘By the gods,’ he whispered against her mouth as his fingers found her damp and aching centre. The pad of his longest finger circled her and then moved down, savouring the liquid heat he had created and drawing it up to where she was swollen and sensitive for him. He circled her again and then swiped over the flesh, drawing another cry from her. Moving back down, it seemed that he let each finger explore her, feeling her, learning her, until he cupped her in his palm and held her.