Could Have Been Us

by Corinne Michaels

  Could Have Been Us

  Willow Creek Valley: Book Two

  Corinne Michaels

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Chapter 41

  Chapter 42

  Chapter 43

  Chapter 44

  Chapter 45

  Chapter 46

  Chapter 47

  Epilogue

  Bonus Scene

  Books by Corinne Michaels

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Could Have Been Us

  Copyright © 2021 Corinne Michaels

  All rights reserved.

  ISBN—ebook: 978-1-942834-57-1

  ISBN—paperback: 978-1-942834-58-8

  No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means including electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise without the prior written consent of the author.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental and beyond the intent of the author or publisher.

  Cover Design: Sommer Stein, Perfect Pear Creative

  Editing: Ashley Williams, AW Editing

  Proofreading: Michele Ficht & Julia Griffis

  Cover photo © Brian Kaminiski

  Model: Charlie Matthews

  To Aly Martinez, I’m sure you’ve done something nice at some point, even if I can’t remember it.

  Chapter 1

  Stella

  “You don’t have to do this, Stella. We can . . . we can find a way,” Jack says as I wipe the tears from my cheeks.

  “We don’t have a choice.”

  “There’s always a choice.”

  “Not an easy one.” My eyes are on the tiny baby in my arms.

  No matter how much I wish I could keep her, I won’t. There are a million reasons neither of our options are great, but to change our minds now would end disastrously. My father has made it clear that, if I keep her, I’m cut off completely. No family. No friends. No help from any one of my siblings or he’ll cut them off. I am not to be that girl. The one who has a baby at eighteen, not his daughter. Then, when I cried, said I didn’t care, he went for the only other thing that could’ve hurt me—Jack.

  He’ll destroy his future, make sure that he can’t get a job in the town. He already has no family, so seeing everything he’s worked for taken from him isn’t something I can endure.

  We were stupid that night. We made a mistake, and this is our penance.

  Jack touches her fingers. I’ve already counted all ten, kissed them too. She’s a perfect little girl who fits in my arms, just as she was designed to do.

  “No, but this isn’t about what’s easy.”

  I look up at him. His dark brown hair is in disarray because he raced to get here in time from his college, and his hazel eyes are filled with confliction over having to do what we agreed on seven months ago.

  “No, it’s not about what’s easy, it’s about her,” I say, hating the words as I speak them.

  “She’s our daughter. I’ll leave school, and we can figure out how to raise her.”

  A new wave of tears comes. I thought this would be easier. How naïve I was. I’ve been in Georgia the last four months, not able to see anyone from Willow Creek Valley as I hid the pregnancy. All I’ve done is plan for how I would survive this, and now that it’s here, I don’t think I will. Not without a lifetime of pain, at least.

  “I’m eighteen,” I remind him.

  Jack gets to his feet, pacing the room. “I know that. I know all of it, but now she’s here.”

  “And you’re in grad school. We’ve talked about this, Jack. We’ve gone over this because . . .”

  He looks at me with heartache. “We’d have to tell Grayson.”

  Yes, my brother. His best friend in the whole world. The one person who has always been there for him but who can never know the truth.

  We’re lying to ourselves.

  Lying that it was just a kiss, which became so much more as we were both lost, searching for someone else to make it okay. And now, the biggest lie of all, a baby that we are going to give to another family to love.

  “Grayson isn’t the only reason. Do you want this? Do you want to be a father right now?”

  He pinches the bridge of his nose. “No, but we made a baby.”

  “We did, and we made the choice to have her and give her the life she deserves. Just outside there are two people who will love our daughter. People who have their lives together, a family, a home, and can give her a future that we can’t. People who aren’t two kids who aren’t dating but got carried away and forgot a condom. Not to mention, my father will take everything, Jack. Everything and . . . I’m just . . . I need to do what’s right for her and not think about us. It’s not about our wants.”

  Even though I want him to just love me.

  Jack sighs deeply. “They have no idea the gift they’re getting.”

  Misty and Samuel Elkins are nice people who already have a nursery set up, complete with pink bumpers and an elephant mobile. They’ve bought clothes, a car seat, and diapers. We’ve been to their house and they have spent hours talking to us and creating a plan that Jack and I could live with. They are well aware of what we’re giving up.

  I close my eyes, nuzzling the baby and kissing her forehead. “Misty will love Kinsley. She’ll be the mother I can’t be. This may break me, but it’s the best thing for her. We both know it.” I place my other hand on her chest, feeling her rapid heartbeat.

  Jack comes to my side, his large hand resting on mine. “If it’s right, why does it feel so hard?”

  “Because we love her. Even if we can’t keep her.”

  Three hearts beating, two breaking with the knowledge of what is to come. I will hand this little girl over to another family. I’ll give her a chance that she’ll never have with me. I start college in a few weeks, Jack is in his second year of grad school, and we don’t love each other. Well, at least he doesn’t love me.

  “I’ll do whatever you want, Stella. I told you that. I’ll go against your father, your brother, the world if that’s what you need.”

  He would too. He’s been great through it all. Jack offered to help me in whatever way I needed and supported my decision when I said I wanted to give her a better life than we could. The hardest part has been hiding it all from my brothers.

  “I know, but I think we need to make the most unselfish decision we can ever make.”

  No matter how it breaks us both.

  There’s a knock on
the door. The nurse peeks her head in. “Are you guys ready?”

  I look down at my daughter again, my heart feeling as though it’s been torn from my chest. Is anyone ever ready for this? I don’t know how to do it. Jack stares down at me. “It’s time, Stella. If we’re going to do it, we have to do it now.”

  I know he’s right. The longer I hold her, the more my head and heart war with each other.

  My watery gaze goes back to the door. “We’re ready.”

  The door closes again, and I tell my daughter everything. “I love you. I love you so much, and that is why I’m doing this. I will always love you. I’m so sorry, Kinsley. I’m sorry I’m not strong enough. Don’t ever think this was easy or that it was because I didn’t love you.” I glance back up to Jack. “Take her from me. Please, it has to be you. I can’t . . .”

  Jack’s tears are brimming, ready to spill over as he reaches out, pulling Kinsley into his arms. “No matter what, I hope that someday you understand that this is the hardest thing we’ve ever done. Your mother is right that we love you, which is why we’re letting you have a better life.”

  The door opens back up, and I turn my head, unable to witness this. I hear Jack’s footsteps as he carries our child across the room. Misty and Samuel are talking to Jack, and I turn on my side. I cry. I cry so hard that I worry I’ll drown. I cry so I don’t have to hear their words. I cry so I don’t have to watch them take this little girl out of my room.

  I want to scream because none of this is fair.

  One night changed every possibility I could ever have.

  Jack doesn’t know how much I’m giving up. He can’t understand that I’m losing my daughter and probably the only piece of him I’ll ever have. I love him so much, and this finalized that we will never be.

  A hand touches my back. “Stella.” Jack’s deep voice reverberates in the small space.

  I sob harder, and he pulls me into his arms. I clutch him, knowing that this will be the last time he ever holds me. I try not to think about all that’s fading from my grasp or how I’ll endure the rest of my life like this.

  Pretending I never had a baby.

  Pretending I don’t love Jack.

  Pretending it all is fine when I’ll feel empty.

  Jack rubs my back, holding me close as I try to let it go. When I emerge from this room, I won’t be the same again because I no longer have a heart.

  Chapter 2

  Stella

  ~Twelve Years Later~

  “You should get this dress,” Winnie says as she holds up a scrap of fabric she pulled from the rack.

  “That’s a dress?”

  She checks the tag. “Sure is.”

  “I’m not twenty-one anymore,” I remind her.

  “No, but you’re not dead either. Plus, neither of us is married or in a serious relationship. We need to at least look hot when we go out.”

  “Because the options out there are anything to get excited over?”

  Winnie raises one brow. “Do you even look? When was the last time you went on a date?”

  “I don’t remember.”

  She shakes her head, the disapproval layered in her reply. “Which is the damn problem. Seriously, you’re a gorgeous heiress who refuses to be in any kind of relationship. It’s like you refuse to even date.”

  I date. Kind of.

  I’ve known Winnie since we were five years old, and while she’s normally content not to talk about this, when it does come up, she’s relentless.

  “Because I am an heiress, that’s why I don’t date.” It’s not entirely true, but it’s close enough. Grayson and I run the flagship inn here in Willow Creek Valley and our brothers are scattered to various locations, but our father still holds the reins. Just my last name alone attracts a lot of . . . money-seeking men.

  “You could be a little nicer. Maybe that would land you a boyfriend.”

  I roll my eyes. “None of these guys are worth it, and I’m not going to waste my time.”

  Because the only man I have ever loved pretends I don’t exist past being his best friend’s little sister even though we have a child together.

  “I just want you to be happy.”

  I push the clothes on the rack and sigh. “Well, same goes for you, Win.”

  “Difference is that I’m willing to date, you’re not.”

  The sad part is that I’ve tried. I’ve found men—ones I thought were good—and not one of them stood up against Jack.

  It’s the most pathetic thing in the world. Why I can’t seem to get over Jack O’Donnell, I’ll never understand.

  One glorious night was all I was meant to have with that man, and it ruined me. Absolutely took every damn chance away for another man. Because no matter how great a guy is, what he does or thinks, he’s never going to be as wonderful as Jack.

  “Then we’ll both die alone.” I grab an outfit, pulling it to my chest. “What do you think?”

  “I think you’re in need of Jess’s shrink.”

  I grin. “You might be right there.”

  Jessica is Winnie’s older sister, and she’s been through a lot. She came back to Willow Creek Valley not too long ago and has been getting help to heal. I always loved Jess and, I’m really hoping she and Grayson straighten their shit out. They’re destined to be together and just need to stop being so stubborn.

  Winnie tilts her head, looking over the outfit, and then scrunches her nose. Well, that’s a no.

  “Will you at least go on a double date with me once I get a date set?”

  I groan and put the garment back where I took it. “Why do you do this to me? I’m happy, Winnie. I love my job. I have a great home. I have a crazy but fantastic family if you ignore my asshole parents. I’ve got you and Delia and Jess now that she’s back in town. My life is fine. Why do you think I need to date?”

  “Because you’re my best friend, and part of what we love about each other is the torment we inflict?”

  She’s a damn mess. “Fine, but tell this guy to tell his friend I’m a bitch.”

  “Oh, don’t worry, there’s not a man around here who doesn’t hear your name and shudder.”

  “I’m like Mufasa.”

  She does the shiver from the movie, and we both start laughing.

  “I love you, Win.”

  “I love you too. I only ride you because I know the truth.”

  “What’s that?”

  She chews on her lower lip and then answers softly. “You want what Grayson and Jess will hopefully have. You want the marriage and kids and love.”

  “They don’t have that,” I say quickly.

  “I said hopefully. But they’re trying to find a way. I think we know our siblings will figure it out sooner rather than later.”

  I nod. “I hope so. Grayson has loved her his whole life.”

  “And Jess loves him, but we’re not talking about them. We’re talking about you and what you want. I remember your dreams when we were kids, Stell. You forget that we don’t have secrets.”

  My chest pangs because I do have one. A very big one.

  “I appreciate you caring, and who knows, maybe one day I’ll meet my prince.”

  Her face lights up. “Maybe it’ll be this guy.”

  “Yeah, maybe.”

  But probably not.

  Tonight is pizza night at Grayson’s house, which I normally skip because I can only handle being around Jack so often, but since he’s out in the wilderness, pretending he’s some kind of bonding guide, I’m going to get some Amelia time.

  I change out of my work clothes, tossing on a pair of leggings and an oversized sweatshirt, and then check the mail.

  When I see the letter stamped from Georgia, I smile and rush to open it.

  Dear Stella,

  I hope this letter finds you well. We had a really exciting day today. Kinsley was accepted into the summer math program she applied to, which she says is, “Super cool.” How anyone can think math is fun is beyond me. She grew anothe
r inch—I swear, I can’t keep this girl in clothing more than a few weeks—and also asked if she could try out for the soccer team. I’m not sure how long this attempt will last, though. If you remember, she tried soccer last year and found that she really hated running. However, her father and I can’t deny her anything.

  Samuel just took a new position at the company he’s with. It’s longer hours but the pay is better. For now, we are focusing on the fact that, in a few years, he can retire with a fabulous pension and health insurance, which helps with my treatments. That’s the mantra, at least. Things are well. Having cancer the first time was much worse than this go. My doctors are very hopeful about the prognosis.

  How is Jack? Is he still being MacGyver in the woods? (Your words, not mine). It makes me smile knowing you both are doing so well. I have been debating writing him again. I know he doesn’t respond, I don’t even know if he opens them, but well, I don’t know, maybe it’s being sick again and seeing how precious time is that makes me keep wanting to try.

  Anyway, I’m enclosing a few photos of Kinsley. She’s so much of you and Jack, it’s crazy. When she was a baby, she was more you, but as she’s growing, I see so much of Jack in her.