The Career of Katherine Bush

by Elinor Glyn

  CHAPTER XV

  The sudden accession to beauty in Lady Garribardine's secretary had adouble--nay, treble--result! It caused Mr. Victor Thistlethwaite plainlyto show that he perceived it at dinner, and thereby considerably toannoy both the Lady Beatrice and Mr. Gerard Strobridge during that meal!Lady Beatrice considered it impertinence on the part of Miss Bush andMr. Strobridge found it "ridiculous cheek of that insufferable puppyThistlethwaite."

  Katherine for her part enjoyed herself! She had got over the awe ofservants--and the strangeness of well-bred companions--She was now sureof the methods of eating, too, and so had leisure to enjoy conversationand she was filled with that delicious sovereign complacency which onlya woman discovering that she is undeniably a success can know.

  While remaining exceedingly demure, she managed to arrest the exclusiveattention of her partner for the feast, and Lady Garribardine watchedthe whole thing with a whimsical eye.

  Gerard Strobridge was too good a diplomat to allow the vaguest trace ofhis disturbed equilibrium to show in his face, and talked to Laeo withrenewed passion, so that before they began to pull crackers she wasfeeling perfectly contented in the certain conviction that it wasBeatrice's presence alone which kept him within bounds! He had not madelove to women ever since he left Eton, or served his country at theForeign Office until the age of thirty-five, without acquiring acertain experience in feminine psychology, and a knowledge as to thebest manipulation of diplomatic situations, and even though he had beenirritated by Mr. Thistlethwaite's evident admiration, he saw that itwould certainly cause Beatrice to stay until the Saturday, and so in itthere lay good.

  There were quantities of silver charms in the blazing plum-pudding, andsome received omens of wealth, and some of princely mates or lengthyjourneys, but Gerard Strobridge could only secure the emblem of an oldmaid--a thimble was his portion--and he turned the unhappy augury tomuch good account in a suitable reproach to Laeo.

  When the caps from the crackers were put on, an early English gold papercrown fell to Katherine's share, and became her mightily.

  "Why, Miss Bush looks just like Queen Victoria when she came to thethrone, Grandmamma!" called out the elder girl grandchild. "We have herpicture on the nursery screen."

  "And I wonder what her end will be," Gerard Strobridge thought; "shelooks remarkably well in a crown."

  The hall had been cleared for dancing and when the excitement in openingthe wonderful little presents which lay hidden in a rose by eachperson's plate was over, the company poured in there, while three localmusicians struck up a merry tune. It was a two-step and Miss Bettyd'Estaire must try it with some new variations which were just coming infrom America at that date (it was before tango days). Katherine was anadept in them, for was not Bindon's Green always in the forefront ofmodernity? And any kind of dancing she really loved. It was the onepastime of her sisters which she had shared with delight, and oftenpractised with Ethel in their tiny drawing-room before going to bed.

  Mr. Thistlethwaite asked her for a turn with him, and they started off.

  "It is much better than a stupid old valse, isn't it?" he said to herwhile they careered smoothly ahead. "And by Jove! how well you dance!"

  The blood was rushing in Katherine's veins; it was so good to be youngand admired, and forgetful of relative positions for once in a way. Sheknew very well that she was a far finer performer than the other younggirl, and all that was sensuous in her nature came uppermost andquivered through the rhythmic movements of her supple body. GerardStrobridge watched her silently. He was conscious of profound andincreasing emotion; it was as if some primitive, strong, vital thing wasthere before him, dwarfing the puny make-believes at passion which wereso well assumed by Laeo Delemar. She was standing beside him looking asbeautiful and as artificial as the orchids in her dress.

  "How that girl could love!" he breathed to himself as he watched thedancers, and Laeo seemed as utterly meaningless as a wax doll!

  Once was enough of this sort of thing, Katherine Bush thought; she waskeenly alive to atmospheres and she felt that for a secretary to do morethan show that she was proficient in these steps would be a breach oftaste. So no persuasions of her partner would move her after the firstfew rounds, and she left him and went off with the youngest grandchildin a polka step.

  Thus the Lady Beatrice recovered her whilom admirer, and when anothertune had begun and Laeo had been safely lured into the arms of thedistant cousin, Gerard Strobridge came over casually to where Katherinestood.

  "Am I to be allowed a turn of this old-fashioned valse, Miss Bush?" heasked.

  But Katherine was not to be beguiled so easily--she must parley first!

  "I do not know if her Ladyship expects me to dance any more," sheanswered. "If you think she will not mind my accepting this honour, Ishall be very pleased."

  "Foolish thing! Is it not Christmas night, and are you not the belle ofthe ball?" And he held out his arm and they whirled off. It gave himimmense pleasure to hold her in his embrace--but something in the scentof the violets in his scarlet hunt coat brought back to Katherine with asickening thrill of anguish and longing the remembrance of Lord Algy andthe Saturday night in Paris when they had danced in masks and dominoesat a Bal Tabarin. Oh! the pain of it!--Suddenly the whole present meltedaway from her--the dreams of the future, the pride in her conquest ofthe past! The passionate woman in her cried aloud in wild longing forhim, Algy--her darling, her dearly-loved mate! How plain were theseother young men!--How tired and old Gerard Strobridge looked! At thatmoment she would have thrown her whole ambitions away into nothingness,to be clasped once more to Algy's heart! Her cheeks became ashen whiteand her strange eyes grew shadowed and fierce, and Gerard Strobridge wasbrought up sharply out of his intoxication of emotion by the look in herface.

  "What is it, child?" he asked anxiously, holding her close.

  "Let me go--let me go!" she cried wildly, breaking from him near thestaircase recess. "I--I--cannot bear it--I would like to get out of allthis!"

  He was intensely astonished, but he saw that she was trembling, and wellas he knew women he could not fathom the reason of this strangeoutburst. Katherine recovered her composure almost immediately and gavea short mirthless laugh.

  "I am awfully stupid," she faltered. "I cannot think what came over me.I believe it must be because I am unaccustomed to parties, and it isgetting late."

  "It is not yet eleven o'clock--but come and have something to drink--Isee a tray down there in the long hall," and she let him lead her to itand pour out some champagne and seltzer for her, and then they sat down.

  He saw very well that something had deeply moved her, and his perfecttact would not permit him to refer to the occurrence, but caused himrather to talk soothingly of ordinary things--and in a few minutes hesaw that the normal whiteness had come back to her face. But nothingwould induce her to dance any more, and although she continued doingwhatever was expected of her during the rest of the evening--andsnatched flaming raisins in the snapdragon with dashing indifference topain--he knew that she was doing it all as an automaton, and that theliving, vital, magnetic Katherine was no longer there, and that thispale, quiet girl whose hand he held presently in the deserted corridorwas only too glad to say good-night.

  "Dear child," he whispered, as he kissed it with homage, "I don't knowwhat it was that caused it, but you have evidently seen a ghost, and nowgo to bed, and forget everything but that we have all had an awfullyhappy Christmas, and I want to tell you how pleased I am that you haveworn my flowers to-night."

  "--Your flowers! Oh! yes, I ought to have thanked you for thembefore--they were lovely, but now they are dead," and she unpinned themcarelessly--almost as if she did not like them any longer to touchher--and threw them in the big open grate.

  "Good-night--and thank you for your kindness," and she was off down thepassage and up the side stairs.

  And when Gerard Strobridge joined the rest of the party in thedrawing-room, he had a cigarette between his lips, as though he had be
enhaving a smoke, and it required all his polished skill to bring himselfback to talking gaily, and to looking what he did not feel, into Mrs.Delemar's sparkling eyes, before they all parted for the night.

  Meanwhile, Katherine Bush had reached her room and had flung herselfinto the armchair. This would not do--she must steel herself againstgiving way to weakness like this. Why had the scent of the violets inanother man's coat had power to affect her so that every part of herbeing cried out for Algy? As though the suppressed emotions of her heartwould no longer obey her will--and must proclaim themselves her master!It was shameful feebleness, and she indignantly resented the dominionthat love still held over her. She sat there reasoning with herself, butnature reigned stronger than any other thing at the moment, and thememory of her lover obsessed her. She seemed to hear his voice and feelhis kisses, until the agony of longing for reality grew unbearable, andshe fell forward and lay there on the rug before the fire beating thefloor with her hands. It was as the despair of some fierce savage cagedanimal crying out for its mate. Her whole face altered, the most intensepassion blazed from her eyes--and whitened her cheeks. Could GerardStrobridge have seen her he would indeed have been moved.

  "Algy! Algy--My darling, my love--Come back to me, I want you. My dear,my dear!--"

  She sobbed with agony--and then worn out at last--"Oh! God!" she wailed."Can whatever comes be worth it--after all!"

  But by the morning she had crushed emotion and came down ready to assistwith the huge Christmas tree for the tenants' children, with her usuallycomposed face.

  But that passion denied should have exacted this anguish frightened hera little. All her will should be used to prevent such madness everholding sway again.