Till I Found You: The Broken Hero Series—Book One

by Fernandez, Michelle

  Chloe smiled. “You’re welcome. Glad it wasn’t a complete waste.”

  Sam trussed the backpack over his shoulder. “Alright, ladies. Enough chatting… Let’s go. We’re going to be late for our slot. And this place is on the other side of the island.”

  Ryland kissed the top of Chloe’s head. “I’ll call later to check on you.”

  “Okay. Love you and have fun.” Chloe waved at them.

  There was a stretch of awkward silence between Booker and Chloe. He didn’t want to drop the subject of her flashbacks. Something triggered them. What was it that she remembered? Was it her attacker? Was it him?

  “So why aren’t you really going?” Booker asked again.

  “I had one too many of Ryland’s toxic sangrias and I got dizzy.”

  “Hmm… I don’t buy it. Your flashbacks made you dizzy.”

  “How would you know about that?” Chloe raised her eyebrow.

  “I know all about flashbacks, Chloe,” he admitted. “I was a SEAL—I’ve done and seen unspeakable things.” Booker stood and walked to the edge of the pavement, his hands on the railing, taking in the open skies and dark blue sea as he remembered his deployments. But most of all, his bloodstained hands and Amber in his arms stinging his psyche. He looked out to the calm ocean, hiding the distraught look he was sure appeared in his eyes. He raked his fingers through his hair. “After every deployment, it was mandatory we talk to a shrink.”

  He remembered too clearly the god-awful plastic chair where Booker sat for several hours to recall and spit out the horrid images. Sounds and scents of gunfire, the bloodbath and the screams of all humanity brought chills to his bones. Deployments kept his mind occupied and kept him from thinking about Amber.

  His life meant nothing to him without her. Amber was his reason to live.

  The doctor suggested to his Commanding Officer that Booker take a leave due to being unstable.

  Damn shrinks.

  Although Booker didn’t agree with the therapist, he had no choice in the matter. Booker was trained to be calm under the most intense pressure, but after Amber’s death, he was a killing machine, ruthless and suicidal, not caring about following the mission’s task.

  Even his teammates voiced their concerns. After a month on leave, he returned and took control of the demons that haunted him. Booker owed it to his team that depended on him, and he owed it to himself.

  Booker slowly turned to face Chloe. Her topaz eyes met his. There was compassion in her gaze, and it comforted him. Booker didn’t deserve Chloe, but he couldn’t bear the thought of anyone else having her, either. She most certainly didn’t deserve to be entangled with his demons that somehow resurfaced. Chloe was worthy of so much more.

  “Don’t feel sorry for me, Doc.”

  “On the contrary. I think you’re a hero.”

  “A hero?” Booker stifled a laugh.

  “You risked your life fighting evil around the world, protecting and serving our country.” Chloe paused, shifting her feet on the concrete. “So, do you still get flashbacks?”

  “Not as much. But when I do, I know how to deal with them better.”

  “How?”

  “I talk about them.” Booker walked toward Chloe and knelt on one knee in front of her, his forearm resting on his leg.

  “I don’t want you to feel sorry for me.”

  “I would never.” Booker brushed a wayward lock of hair behind her ear. “You have no idea what I think of you.”

  “Then tell me because it’s killing me to guess what’s going on in that thick skull of yours.”

  “Thick skull? I’ll show you thick.” Booker chuckled, lightening the mood.

  “Seriously? You’re going to go there?” Chloe smirked. “Always a comeback.”

  He wanted to set things straight, he needed to.

  A fog of guilt clouded his thoughts and how he’d masqueraded their first meeting. He wanted to tell her he’d thought about her for the last couple of years. And from the moment she’d rested her cute feet at his table, he was mesmerized.

  What harm would it be to let her know they’d met at the gala?

  How would Chloe react to the truth?

  Would she go ballistic?

  Chloe could punch him in the jaw again and Booker would gladly accept it for keeping the truth from her. He laughed to himself, remembering how she played dirty taking her shirt off and leaving only her sports bra on. He could still feel the phantom pang. Add that to the pile of qualities Booker was attracted to.

  Beautiful, sexy, strong, and she had a great right hook.

  “Tell you what. You hungry? Let’s eat and I will tell you what I think.”

  With a tender smile, Chloe nodded. “Promise?”

  “SEAL’s honor. Go get dressed and we can grab a bite to eat in town.”

  Booker started up the Jeep and headed toward town. He glanced over at Chloe. With the top off, he loved how the sun kissed her cheeks, her smile was so carefree and beautiful. The sight of her chestnut hair whipping around her face had his heart pounding. She was so damn adorable wearing her white Converses, cut-off jeans and red tank-top.

  Chloe’s faced glowed, eyes wide. “Oh my god. I love this song.” She turned up the volume, bopping her head side to side, and belted the lyrics at the top of her lungs. “Somethin' unexpected has come over me… I got my heart, my soul and mind… Hm-mm…” She pointed her finger at Booker and kept on singing. “You’re the kind of guy I’ve been waiting for… I’ve got a crush on you… I think I'm in love…” Chloe raised her hands, wiggling her fingers. “Every time you're near, baby… I get kinda crazy… I don't know what to do.”

  Chloe hummed, shimmied her shoulders to the beat of the song.

  The lack of connection for the last three days overwhelmed him. It took every ounce of strength to hold himself back. Booker missed the feel of her warm lips, her delicate body in his arms and the silky curls of her hair between his fingers. There were no words that could fathom his growing feelings and the gravity pull she had over him.

  A smile spread over his lips and Chloe put it there. A smile he hadn’t had in a long while. Booker loved seeing her this way, happy and so relaxed. He absolutely adored her and never had to struggle this much to resist a woman.

  Not just any woman. Chloe Channing.

  The surf-shack waiter picked up the menus after taking their order. From the restaurant’s upper balcony, Booker and Chloe could see out to the waterfront. Cruise ships were docked and explained why almost every table was occupied.

  They were lucky to get a table tucked in the corner of the large dining area and it allowed Booker to lean back against the wall and view the open space. The crash of waves and the roar of tourists below carried to the upper deck. A warm humid breeze came from the shore, sending beads of sweat trickling down the back of his neck.

  Keeping his instincts in check, Booker assessed every employee, the patrons at each table, points of entry and all emergency exits. With the latest information he received from Tyco, the ticking time bomb was out there, hidden in the shadows. Chloe’s safety was priority.

  The waiter returned, tray balancing on one hand with a beer and Chloe’s tropical drink embellished with a pineapple and umbrella floating atop. He placed complimentary taro chips and special sauce for dipping.

  Booker’s cell buzzed with a text from Lincoln.

  Call me. New intel.

  “You look so tense. You okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine,” he answered, glaring at his phone. “It’s just a text from a buddy.”

  Julian texted back: Busy. With the contract. Can it wait?

  Ninety minutes. Then I’m calling your stupid ass.

  Ninety minutes.

  “Is it important?”

  “He’s gonna call me later.” Booker tucked his phone back in his pocket. “I hope this place is alright.” He took a chip from the basket and popped it in his mouth.

  “It’s perfect.” Chloe sipped the pink liquid, then li
cked her lips. “So, tell me about your friend.”

  “Lincoln?” Booker tipped his beer back. “He’s like a brother. We met in basic training. Both of us, so young and wet behind the ears. We went through six weeks of hell.”

  When Booker graduated high school and joined the Navy, he found a brotherhood and camaraderie no one else would ever understand. And although the training was brutal, it was worth it.

  “We nearly shit bricks when we first saw our commanding officer. My C.O. was scary as hell and fucking intimidating.” Booker chuckled. “I swear, with one look, I knew that man could destroy me. I was either going to win or lose. I chose to win. My C.O. always said two things to us: ‘The only easy day was yesterday,’ and my favorite, ‘If you feel pain, that means you’re still alive’.”

  “Do you miss being a soldier?”

  “First of all, we are not called soldiers… Sailor is the correct term.”

  “I stand corrected…so do you miss being a sailor?”

  Booker played with the peel of his beer bottle. “Sometimes. There was purpose for me. But now, I have a new purpose.”

  “Which is?”

  Booker took a breath, needed the stint of silence, careful of how he answered. Was it the right time to tell her his job was to protect her? Feeling conflicted, he answered the best he knew how.

  “My new purpose is to make sure you don’t think this is our official first date.”

  “Date? Did I agree to go on a date with you?” She curled a lock of hair behind her ear.

  “Actually, Channing, I told you I would show you what a real date is like. You said you would check with your vacation planner. And all things considered, I think your vacation planner would be very accommodating and squeeze in one night out with me?”

  “If this is not a date, what would you call this?” She twirled the umbrella floating in her glass.

  “Friends having a casual lunch and a couple of drinks.” Booker raised his beer and clinked it against Chloe’s tall glass.

  “Is that what I am to you? A friend?”

  Damn. I shouldn’t have said the ‘F’ word.

  And there it was, laid out on the table to be picked apart. Booker stilled, his beer halfway to his mouth. “Chloe, you are more than a friend to me.” He licked his lips and tipped the bottle back. “And you know it.”

  This assignment ate him up and the conflict fucked with his head. Having one of the guys replace him crossed his mind. But, as much as Booker could easily get a replacement and get the hell off the island, he couldn’t do it.

  He chose to win this assignment. He couldn’t bear the thought of letting her go, again. Chloe was more than just a call of duty. She was his lifelong mission.

  Chloe leveled her gaze on him. “You can’t say that to me and act the way you have been the last couple of days.”

  “I guess we’ll just get to the heavy stuff before the main course is served.” Booker looked deep into her eyes. The glare she returned scared the hell out of him, as if she could see the truth. Shit would hit the fan if he blurted out how he was hired as her protector from some unknown threat that could be roaming the island.

  “I just need to know…why would you kiss me and then switch like it meant nothing to you?” Chloe said, her eyes pleading.

  A hurricane of emotions swirled in his chest. He needed to figure out how he could have her heart without breaking it.

  It was like a goddamn tennis match with her, back and forth.

  “Like I said, I have a new purpose… Everything I do has a purpose.”

  “So that’s it? That’s your cryptic answer?” Chloe asked, narrowing her eyes.

  Booker took a swig of his beer, stalling. What could he say? That he’d been having nightmares of Amber and Chloe? Making love to both, then the next image, Chloe dead in his arms? His past and present colliding, screwing with his head.

  “What do you want me to say? I had shit I needed to figure out.”

  “Well, did you figure it out, Julian?” Her turquoise eyes waited for an answer he didn’t submit. “Can I ask another question?”

  “Better than anyone I know.” Booker took another swig of his beer.

  Her lips twisted and she leaned forward. “Does it have anything to do with your wife?”

  Booker froze, nearly choking on his beer. “Where did… I mean, how do you know?”

  “I don’t mean to pry…actually, yes I do mean to pry. I have a right to know. You said all those things to me…wanted us to work out…making me believe we have a future. You kissed me and you’re married? And that makes you a cheater. And I refuse to be the other woman.”

  “For Christ’s sake, Channing.” Booker peered over her shoulder, his eyes on the waiter coming toward their table. He was rattled by Chloe’s knowledge of Amber, not able to get a word in edgewise. “Give me a minute…this isn’t as easy for me to answer.”

  Silence hung between them as the waiter placed their burgers in front of them. From his stained apron, the man retrieved a bottle of ketchup, mustard, extra napkins and set them on the table, then scurried away to check on a family at the next table.

  A freight train hit Booker full force, gutted all his emotions. He needed a moment to gather his thoughts.

  Would Chloe up and leave once she knew the truth?

  The very thought of answering her question made him sick and the thick burger did not look appealing. This was the one thing he never wanted to talk about with Chloe and should’ve remained buried in the abyss of the deepest parts of him.

  But he needed to be honest about his past. Chloe deserved that much. It’s the reason he felt conflicted. A painful stab, the proverbial knife gutting his insides for betraying his dead wife the moment Chloe made a crack in his armor that surrounded his heart.

  “Amber,” Booker said softly.

  “I see…so there is a wife.”

  “It’s a touchy subject for me. But you deserve to know the truth.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Amber is…was my wife.”

  “Do you still love her?”

  “With all my heart.” Booker observed Chloe’s eyes; he could see the hurt in them. They softened when he confessed, “Amber died five years ago.”

  Silence ceased all her reaction and Chloe took hold of his hand. “Julian…I’m so sorry. I should’ve never…we don’t have to talk about it.”

  Her comforting touch pulled out the demons he’d tried so hard to exorcise. With that one angelic look, one healing touch, Chloe seemed to rip them out and shred them into a million pieces.

  Agony etched all over her face. Why did he feel compelled to talk about it now? Perhaps she understood the loss of a loved one and pain recognized pain.

  “It is hard to talk about it. Like you said the other day, talking about it keeps her alive.” Booker watched a passing waitress.

  Chloe nodded. “We don’t have to.”

  “This thing I needed to figure out…it wasn’t just about Amber. It was you.”

  “Me?”

  “I haven’t been able to open my heart since she died…till I met you.”

  “I don’t understand. What are you saying?”

  Booker brought her hand to his lips. “You consumed me from the first moment we met. You are all I think about. You’re like my personal medicine, Doc.”

  “Julian,” Chloe whispered. “I don’t know what to say.”

  He stood and rounded the table. He pulled her off her chair, cupped her face and gently kissed her lips he missed so much. Confusion still tore at his thoughts.

  Was it wrong to kiss her, all the while keeping yet more secrets from her?

  “I’ve missed you,” he whispered.

  After lunch, they circled the village. Their conversation became lighter and upbeat. She told him about her childhood, and he shared funny stories and the pranks they’d played on his teammates when he was a SEAL. It was like a heavy boulder was removed from his shoulders, which he had carried so long.

  Chloe looked so
beautiful walking next to him, where she belonged. After Chloe purchased souvenirs for Celina, her coworkers and her dad, they entered a jewelry store. Chloe gazed at the trinkets and fine jewelry inside the glass cases.

  Booker leaned in close.

  “See something you like?”

  “What a lovely piece,” she said, her finger pressed to the glass.

  Booker called to the clerk behind the counter, “Can she try it on?”

  “Of course.”

  “Oh no. I’m just browsing.”

  “Nonsense,” the lady said, unlocking the case. The dark woman smiled tenderly, pushed back her long braided hair as she held up a key and pointed to the glass. “I believe when our jewelry grabs your attention, it’s for a reason…and must be tried on. It’s like a calling. Now which piece did you like?”

  “The green and blue turtle shell.”

  “Ahh, yes…the turtle has so much symbolic meaning.” The woman held it up for Chloe.

  “Oh?” Chloe whirled to allow the woman to lock the clasp behind her neck.

  “Yes. For one, the turtle reminds us to take life slow. Just look.” The woman gestured to the small mirror on the counter.

  Booker chortled at that. “Ma’am, we can relate to pace,” he teased, catching Chloe’s half-smile in her reflection.

  “It also symbolizes longevity, endurance, emotional strength, and protection.”

  “That’s beautiful,” Chloe said, peering closer in the mirror.

  Booker stood behind Chloe as she admired the sparkling jewelry. “You’re beautiful,” he whispered.

  A blush of pink tinted her cheeks. “Pace, huh?”

  “Like I said, your pace, sweetheart.”

  “If my memory serves me correctly, Mr. Cruz…you changed the pace on us. Remember?”

  “Well, the pace changed when you took a hold of my heart and healed it, Doc.” Booker kissed her cheek.

  The clerked coughed to steal their attention. “Should I wrap it for you to take home today?”

  Chloe shook her head, removed the necklace and handed it back. “Oh, no. But thank you for letting me try it on.”