Dark Illusion

by Feehan, Christine

  “It feels a little like invading and stealing.”

  He turned his head to look away from the scenery to meet her gaze. “That is why, right there, you are Dragonseeker. I am your lifemate. We share every memory—every experience, good or bad. I have opened my mind to you because there is no one in this world I trust more than I do you.”

  She put her hand on his arm, needing to touch him, to feel close to him while she expressed her one concern. “You know that Barnabas and I exchanged blood. I didn’t look at it in those terms, but that’s what actually occurred. It was that exchange that allowed us to speak to each other telepathically. Can he still reach out to me and find me? Speak to me?”

  “Before you went to ground with me, you said you had nightmares. Those nightmares were of Barnabas.”

  Julija closed her eyes and leaned into him for comfort. Immediately his arm swept around her, locking her tight to his tall, powerful frame. He felt invincible and right then, when she was feeling fragile, she needed invincible.

  “Yes. He was hurting me. Smiling while he did it. Happy to see my tears and very aroused. It made me sick. I would force myself to wake up.”

  “He spoke to you.”

  She heard the grimness in his voice. It was very rare for Isai to take that tone around her. He was always gentle, his voice like velvet stroking her skin.

  “Yes,” she whispered as realization came to her. “He was reaching out to me, deliberately putting those things in my head, wasn’t he? It wasn’t so much a nightmare as Barnabas talking to me.”

  “That is so. He cannot reach you in Carpathian sleep. He will eventually become angry, Julija, and you have to be prepared for that. As soon as he contacts you, and he will, if I am not with you, you must reach for me. We will share the burden whatever he says.”

  Automatically, she shook her head, rejecting the idea before she could stop herself. “The things he proposes, the things he has done to me are too foul for you to know, to see.”

  “I have seen them, my little mage. There is no need to try to hide these things. He made them public in his class. He did that to humiliate you, and in that he succeeded. He made you ashamed. He thought that would bring out the darkness in you, but there is no darkness. That was what he never understood. You had no recourse but to attempt to take your life.”

  “He found me. There was so much blood. I thought it was an offering as I watched it flow out of me. I never had seen him like that before. He was frantic. Shocked. Almost beside himself. He stopped the flow instantly and forced his blood into me. He called for Anatolie and demanded he give me blood. Then my brothers. He held me.”

  “Julija. It is enough.”

  He wiped at her face with his thumb, little brushstrokes. She hadn’t realized she was crying again. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m so emotional. If I watch sad movies I cry.” She looked around for the cats. The animals always made her feel better. “They can’t kill off an animal in a movie or I completely fall apart.”

  He laughed softly. “Naturally. You are very softhearted. Something I am not. I can deal with this dark mage, Julija. I know the things he did to you. He should feel shame, never you. He had to tie you to control you. Tie you not only with actual physical chains, but with his mage spells. He didn’t ever get you to cooperate. That is your triumph. As I have said, you are Dragonseeker. He cannot steal your light, and that is what he craves, just as Sergey craves the light in Elisabeta.”

  Her heart jumped. “I never once considered that idea. I hadn’t really understood exactly what it was that Sergey wanted from her. I know that he held her prisoner for centuries, but I didn’t truly understand the point.”

  “Sergey had vision. Actually, all the Malinov brothers did, but he thought ahead to those long, empty years and planned for them. Elisabeta was his plan. He took her knowing as long as he could merge with her, he would have access to her light. To her emotions. She would never lose them even when his were long gone. That allowed him to feel. In some ways, she saved him from the worst of being a vampire.”

  The wind touched her face and she raised it to feel more. It was a cold bite, crisp with the feel of snow on it. “And you think that’s what Barnabas saw in me? He feels emotion. When he walked into that room and saw all the blood, he actually went pale, Isai.”

  “Barnabas no doubt feels emotion. He is mage, not vampire. But he is dark inside. All darkness is a tremendous burden to bear. You took that from him. It appears no one else ever has, and once he found you, he did not want to lose you. How could he? Just as Sergey desperately needs to reacquire Elisabeta to stay sane, Barnabas needs you back as well.”

  “If they needed us so desperately, why didn’t they treat us better?” The cold air helped to clear the sick feeling just talking about Barnabas gave her. She let herself see the beauty again. The depth of that blue, blue lake. The rise of the mountain with the rocks jutting out and the scattering of brush and trees. The meadow with the sea of waving grass, beckoning her to take a walk. To just put down the burden of the dark world that surrounded her and drink in the true beauty of the sights.

  “They both believe that fear controls everyone. It would never occur to them that loving can bring loyalty.”

  She wrapped her arm around his waist. “What do we need to do now?”

  “I need to know what you were thinking when you said to destroy the book we need purity of heart and soul. Once we figure out how to destroy it, we will find it and do so. Then we will leave this place and hope Barnabas follows us back to the compound the brethren guard.”

  She rubbed her palm over the Dragonseeker mark on her left side. Low. Exactly where Isai had said it was. The mark never hid from him. It guarded her eggs, the Dragonseeker eggs, just as he’d said.

  “You were reluctant to tell me when it came to your idea for destroying the book. Surely you do not think we would have to have a true blood sacrifice. There would be nothing pure about that, Julija.”

  She frowned. “No, but there wouldn’t be cutting into a child’s arm and dripping blood over it, either. And I’m not certain that would be strong enough to destroy the spell Xavier wove around the book.”

  “You are no child. You are the one. I am certain of it. Everything led you to this point as often happens when there is a call. This is your call.”

  Julija shook her head, rejecting the idea, but she couldn’t quite get what he was saying to leave her mind. It did seem a big coincidence that she had become aware of Anatolie’s plan to continue Xavier’s work in destroying the Carpathians. She didn’t consider herself adventuresome, but she had lain awake for several days, considering what to do, how to warn the prince of the Carpathian people. She was mage. She also carried the birthmark of the high mage on her arm, in plain sight where anyone could see. She was fairly certain she wouldn’t be welcomed by the Carpathian prince, but she’d gone anyway.

  She sighed and rubbed her lower lip with her thumb. What were the odds that she would connect with a Carpathian male losing his lifemate? That she would gain so much sympathy for him that she was pulled into his life and knew what he was doing? That had never happened before.

  If she hadn’t left precisely when she had and traveled across the ocean to Romania and then hiked alone into the Carpathian Mountains, she never would have been in the right place at the exact time that Iulian was also traveling to the mountains. What were the odds that they would be so connected that they were traveling to the same place? He was taking his beloved to be buried in what he considered sacred ground. She was trying to warn another species that they weren’t safe.

  Then there were the shadow cats. She had spotted blood, spots of dark crimson, and she followed those spots back to a small property just on the edge of the hills behind their home. A shed was there, and as she approached it, she recognized a very strong spell that kept everyone away. This was definitely Vasile’s work and she unraveled the spell within minutes. She had found the dead, dying and severely injured cats. Imme
diately her heart went out to them and she came each night to try to heal them. In doing so, she developed an affinity for them and knew when they were on the move.

  Once in the Carpathian Mountains, she had known the exact moment when Iulian hadn’t followed his lifemate to meet the dawn. She knew when the shadow cat stole the book and Iulian killed the cat and took the book, racing to get out of the Carpathian stronghold. Could all of that really have been complete coincidence, or, like Isai thought, had destiny placed her in the right place with all the knowledge she needed at the right time?

  She looked toward the lake. The beautiful shimmering blue water held the most dangerous item in the entire world. Xavier’s book of spells. She didn’t want Isai to be right. She didn’t want to think that the fate of the Carpathian people might rest on her shoulders. She wasn’t a heroine by any means. She was terrified, terrified of Barnabas. She was afraid of Anatolie, but Barnabas was in another league.

  “Where did he come from? Barnabas? The man you think worked with Xavier?”

  Isai hesitated, and for the first time she realized they weren’t merged together. He also was looking at the lake.

  “Isai, no matter how bad something is, if I have to be a part of this, I need to know the worst. I need to know what or who we’re facing. I already am very aware Barnabas isn’t the professor everyone sees. No one knows that better than me at this point.”

  “It turns out Xavier was a triplet. He had two brothers, equally as corrupt and dangerous as he was. Not long ago, it came to light that one worked at wiping out the Jaguar species and has all but succeeded. The other worked to wipe out the Lycans. He tried to start a war between Lycans and Carpathians. His name was Xaviero. He was defeated and killed by Dragonseeker women. There seems to be a theme going on here with the Dragonseeker lineage. I think it is very possible that Barnabas is Xaviero’s son.”

  Of course she knew that Xavier had two brothers. She thought them long dead. The rumor had been that Xavier had murdered them, until Xaviero had surfaced and made his try to start that war. Anatolie was furious when it hadn’t succeeded. No one had mentioned that either brother had children, but it made sense. For a long time, she had considered that she had been a child of one of the brothers and that was why Anatolie hated her so much. It would make sense that the brothers would want to do what Xavier had done.

  She shook her head and looked up at him. He always appeared so confident. So completely at ease with himself and his environment. It didn’t matter that they were discussing a very powerful mage who very well could annihilate them and Isai’s entire species of people. Isai just looked as if he could take all that on his shoulders. She wasn’t like that. The thought of facing Barnabas made her want to curl up in a little hole and cover it so no one would find her.

  “I’m not brave like you are, Isai.” He might as well know.

  He burst out laughing. “I know no one braver. I do not want you to try to take on Barnabas. We just have to find the book. I think we can do that. You know Iulian better than I do, although my blood will call to his. Once you figure out exactly what he did, we can raise that book. Before we do, we just need to figure out how to destroy it.” He framed her face with both hands. “Give me your ideas. The first thing that comes into your head.”

  She forced air into her lungs while she looked into his eyes. Those amazing sapphire eyes. Who had eyes that blue? She turned in his arms and leaned her back against him while she studied the lake. In the night, with the brilliant moon shining down each time the clouds moved, she caught glimpses of that same blue. Deep. A color almost never seen. She was seeing it through Carpathian eyes, giving it the colors she believed it was.

  “If you are right about me, and I’m not saying you are, but if so, I think I can’t do it by myself. I’m strong, Isai, I know that I am. I’ve always been aware that I had untapped power in me; no matter how much my family put me down, they couldn’t take that away. I even became aware that Crina was afraid of me. That Vasile and Avram became afraid of me over time. The more they feared me, the meaner they got. The more they were ugly to me, the harder I practiced.”

  “Julija, if you know they feared you, how is it you do not believe in yourself?”

  There might have been a gentle reprimand in his voice. How could she explain the wearing down of all self-confidence in spite of trying to understand why they would be afraid if they truly believed she was nothing. Over time, over years, their evaluations had taken their toll and there was no way to explain that to him.

  “I will admit that not once did I believe in myself, but I found a strength I didn’t know I had, living the way I believed was right in spite of my family tearing me down. I am not, however, good enough to take on Barnabas, especially if he is a high mage’s son.”

  “Again, you will not have to. We just have to concentrate on destroying the book. But, Julija, know this, he may be Xaviero’s son and a high mage, but you also carry that mark. It is your birthright. You do not consider yourself a high mage, because your family has made it very clear to you that you are nothing. There are many high mages throughout history that were good, decent people. They tried to use their gifts to better the world, not tear others down. They didn’t look at other species with contempt or envy. You fit into that category.”

  She shook her head, rejecting what he was telling her. She didn’t want the title of high mage in spite of carrying the birthmark. She had studied for years, and she was adept, but . . .

  “Think about it, sívamet. You stole Vasile’s magic right out from under his nose. Who else could have done such a thing? Could Avram?”

  She remained silent. She doubted if Avram could have done it. Maybe Anatolie, although he had a heavy hand. He wouldn’t have worked at removing the layers of magic her brother had so carefully constructed.

  “If, and I still am not convinced I am the person you think I am, but if I were capable of destroying the book, I believe we would have to do it together. Your brother used his blood for a good purpose. He sacrificed his life to hide the book. I will know if his intentions were pure when I find the exact location where he took his life, but if that was so, then it is your blood as well as mine that is needed to overcome the dark spells, as well as your brother’s. We have to do both.”

  “I am not willing for you to sacrifice your life,” he warned.

  “Killing a living, breathing soul would invoke dark magic, Isai, and that is not what we want to do. If we wanted to open the book, we would need a blood sacrifice of each species, but we want to destroy it. I think together we have to give our blood to the book. I honestly don’t know how much, but I am going to give this a lot of thought and work out how it can be done. If you’re correct and I have purity of soul, and your blood is the same as that of Iulian, who gave the ultimate sacrifice to seal the book in the ground, our combined blood should burn the book. If not, I am out of ideas.”

  Julija continued to look out over the beautiful scenery, wishing she was walking with him around that lake. She had learned—somewhat—to control her body temperature. It wouldn’t matter that it was cold, only that they were together and doing something other than fighting the mages. She just wanted things to be normal. Even if it was only for a few minutes. She didn’t want to think about dark spells and evil books and monsters. She just wanted normal, so she could breathe.

  “I often think of Elisabeta and wonder how she managed to live all those years without going insane. She has to be so strong.”

  Isai turned her back into his arms, holding her close to his body. His chin rubbed along the top of her head, so that her hair was caught in the bristles along his jaw, weaving them together. “You are just as strong, Julija. Never think that you’re not. You have endured the murderous relatives you have and yet you have come to me pure of heart and soul. That, in itself, is a miracle.”

  She wasn’t going to argue with him. She knew how close she’d been on more than one occasion, wanting to end what appeared to be a hopele
ss situation. More than once, she’d left and always, Anatolie had found her and brought her back.

  She frowned, pushing against his chest with both palms to create space so she could look up at him. “The times I left home to get away from them all, no matter where I went, Anatolie could find me. Blood calls to blood. He knows where I am. He’s waiting for me to find the book.”

  “Julija.” His voice was calm. Steady. As soft as velvet stroking over her skin. Her senses. Soothing her. “We knew he was following you. Your brothers made their move too fast. They conspired to get the book for themselves and wanted control of you. Crina made her move, most likely because Barnabas threw her out. She was nothing to him and she had to have known that. Anatolie is wiser. He believes you can find the book. Once you do, he intends to take it from you.”

  There was no change of expression on his face. Nothing to indicate that he was worried about the outcome of doing battle with her father. He was a strong, ancient warrior and he’d seen countless battles against any number of foes. This, to him, was just one more.

  “I’m glad I have you with me,” she whispered, and went up on her toes to kiss him.

  17

  Isai had time to find the perfect place to go to ground. It was beautiful beyond comprehension, a lost world. When the earth had exploded, and lava had run in rivers and then earthquakes had followed, the phenomenon had created a deep crater inside one of the tallest mountains. The hole that allowed one to peek into the world was very small, one that could easily be overlooked and so far, no climbers or hikers had discovered the eye that would have shown them the entire little ecosystem existing in that rocky bluff.

  The rock itself was quite thick, covered with larger boulders and strange jagged-shaped protrusions, as if the rock were rising toward the skies with fingers. If one looked closely, the outcropping looked like a giant hand. Most tourists took pictures of that and ignored the ground that was under their feet. That ground was riddled with a dozen holes, tiny pinpoints that allowed light to shine into the empty space below.