How To Catch An Earl With Ten Lies (Historical Regency Romance)

by Patricia Haverton

  “Is that the aunt that always had a cat with her?”

  “It is, indeed. Her kitty died not long after we moved her into the old gate house. The old thing must have been at least 20 years old, for I don’t remember Auntie ever being without her. I declare the old lady seemed to be in more of a taking over its passing than she was over my uncle’s. Of course, the old dear is a bit dotty. She seems to think m’uncle is off on a business trip somewhere.”

  “Wasn’t he always traveling?”

  “Come to think of it, he was.” Johnson said thoughtfully.

  “Well, there you have it,” Benjamin commented. “She wasn’t around your uncle very often, but the cat was part of her daily life.”

  “You might be onto something there. Say, care for a round of billiards?”

  “I would be delighted,” Benjamin replied. “I was in here the other day, but there wasn’t anyone about.”

  Johnson racked the balls, and Benjamin broke the cluster. For a few minutes, there were no sounds but the balls rolling about.

  “Will you stay long in England?” Johnson asked.

  Benjamin clutched his billiards cue tightly. “My parents’ estate is in a fair tangle. It is a good thing that I have my own funds, and was in charge of their affairs abroad. But I am less than pleased with some of the things I am discovering in the accounts.”

  “No wonder you looked burned to the socket. Or I would say that, but you seem mighty cheerful for a man in mourning.”

  “Oh, Bert, you have no idea what a tangle I am in. Although I’ll own that I am feeling more cheerful right now.”

  “And how is that?”

  “Well, my father’s solicitor came around and read the will. Some distant cousin or other is the next heir. Father didn’t like him, so he invoked a rule that is set up with the entail that says to fully inherit, I need to find a wife and marry.”

  “And get her with child, I presume?”

  “It isn’t in the will, but I believe that getting an heir is the intent of the clause being in the will.”

  “And you’ve managed to get by this long without becoming leg-shackled?”

  “I have. Frankly, there weren’t many opportunities in the last nine years unless I wanted to bring home a French bride.”

  “There could be worse things,” Johnson said.

  “There could, but I didn’t meet anyone who appealed.”

  “So you have been casting about you for a wife.”

  “I have. Do you know Castlemount?”

  “I do. Took over the estate after his brother and sister-in-law succumbed to some sort of accursed fever. Poor fellow is all bellows to mend, I believe.”

  “How is that?”

  “His father had all but run the estate into the ground. The brother was getting it turned around, but didn’t live long enough to make the needed changes. Then, recently, Castlemount made some investments that did not turn out so well.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “His man of business has his offices in the same building as mine. I heard Castlemount discussing things with his legal counsel. It was rather heated and loud.”

  “No wonder he was glad to join me in a lucrative business deal I came across recently.”

  “Oh? What kind of deal?”

  “An expedition to Africa to look for diamonds.”

  Johnson shook his head. “That seems like a gamble. I’m not sure I would go for it. Except for it being you, old man.”

  “Your faith is touching, Berty. But I can tell you that I’ve already been dealing in diamonds from the area for some time. The vein my people have been working is about to run out. It seems a pretty safe bet that there should be another one or two in the same area.”

  “Makes sense. Do you plan to go, yourself?”

  “Me? Not a chance. I know absolutely nothing about diamonds, Africa, or surviving in the wild. Makes a lot more sense to hire the man who has been running the mine all this time, and back him.”

  “Are you sure of his honesty?”

  “As sure as one can be of a man with whom one communicates through letters. If he is skimming, enough comes to my hand that I am satisfied.”

  “I understand. Bind not the mouths of the kine, and all that.”

  “Quite so.” Benjamin took a shot and neatly sunk the ball in a corner pocket.

  “But that doesn’t explain why you are feeling so chipper.”

  “Oh, that. Do you know Miss Edith Chapman?”

  “The Earl of Castlemount’s younger niece? I have nodding acquaintance with her. She’s an attractive little thing, but rarely has two words to say to anyone.”

  “Are you sure we are talking about the same girl? I have found her to be quite forthcoming, especially on topics such as kittens or horses.”

  “You must have won her confidence, then. But I cannot say that I know either Miss Chapman particularly well. They came out after I was already betrothed.”

  “Berty! You?”

  “Yes, me. Doesn’t seem likely, does it? But I can assure you that she is everything a man could desire and more.”

  “So where is this paragon? When do I meet her?”

  “She retired to the country early this season. We are expecting our first in late June or early July.”

  “Really? I can’t believe it! You, Bookworm Berty.”

  “Yes indeed, me. Oh, and here’s the best part: she likes books, too. And not just those housekeeping and cooking broadsides. We were reading Waverly together before she left London. I expect we’ll finish it when I conclude my business here and go home for the summer.”

  “Well, congratulations. I’ll admit it is a little difficult to wrap my mind around it, but it is good to see you looking so well and happy, my friend.”

  “And you, too, Benj. So this young lady might be the one?”

  “Her uncle has approved it. All I need to do is get the lady to say yes. I’m wooing her gently, since her uncle says that she is shy and a bit skittish about being wed.”

  Neither of them noticed the shadow move away from the door, or the man who walked away and down the stairs. Steelfrost smirked as he stepped out into the sunshine. The fool doesn’t even know which Chapman girl he has been courting. Oh, such a spoke as I will put in his wheel!

  Chapter 21

  The following morning, Marpole brought a beautiful, cream colored envelope, closed with red wax bearing Lord Newhorn’s personal seal, and delivered it to the young lady’s room. Edith glanced at her sister, and carefully laid the envelope on the mantle so they could open it later. There was also a note from their uncle, and one from Lady Agatha.

  Penelope poured the tea while Edith set out the plates and silverware. As soon as Marpole was gone, Edith said, “Goodness! I think this is the most mail we have gotten in one day since we came to London.”

  “Indeed!” Penelope agreed. “Which one should we open first?”

  “Let’s read Uncle’s first. I do hope he is not too angry with us.”

  The letter, when they opened it, was quite unexceptional. It thanked them for their understanding, and for getting rid of the cat. It then went on to inform them that their uncle would be out of town for a day or two as he had business on the coast.

  They opened the note from Lady Agatha next. The dear old lady thanked them effusively and invited both of them and Lola to call on her for morning tea.

  “Shall we go?” Edith asked. “I quite like her, you know.”

  “So do I,” Penelope replied. “But let’s open the missive from Lord Newhorn before we decide.”

  “Of course! Why don’t you open it?”

  “It is addressed to you,” Penelope teased.

  “Oh, Penny! You know that is because he thinks you are me. I mean he thinks your name is Edith. And you know my reasons now for not wanting to marry anyone at present.”

  “I know,” Penelope soothed. She slid the letter opener under the red wax seal, carefully keeping it intact. She pulled out more of the
creamy paper, and spread it out on the table.

  “He is inviting me to picnic ‘in our usual place’ in the park.”

  “Will you go?” Edith asked.

  “Yes. I’ll send Jace with a note that he can expect me in the afternoon. That way we can both call on Lady Agatha and see Indigo. Do you know, I think I miss the little monster?”

  “I know I do. How fortunate that Mrs. Albright knew of someone who needed a cat.”

  “Wasn’t she sweet with her? And the wonderful stories she told us about her old kitty. Do you suppose that Indigo will live to be as old as her other cat?”

  “If he does, I think we should be prepared to take him back. Goodness! Lady Agatha must be eighty, if she is a day!”

  Penelope laughed, and the two of them set about inhaling their breakfasts. After a few minutes, Edith put her fork down and said, “You will be careful, won’t you, Penny?”

  “Of course I will, Edie. I’m sure it will be quite all right. I will have James with me, after all. And I will wear my hat and veil until we are within the secluded picnic area, that way I will be sure that no one will recognize me.”

  “If you are sure, Penny. Because I would not want anything to happen to you because of me.”

  “Silly goose. Nothing is going to happen to me. All will be well, you shall see.”

  As soon as they were finished, they put on their hats and spencers and rang for James. When he joined them, they set off for the open-air market where they were to meet Lola.

  Since Lady Agatha’s little cottage, which had once been the gate keeper’s cottage for the Johnson house, was only a little way beyond the open-air market they quickly arrived at her door.

  Lady Agatha’s butler, a fellow who was nearly as ancient as Lady Agatha herself, ushered them in.

  “Right this way, ladies,” he said. “Lady Agatha is in the little parlor. She is expecting you. I hope you brought good appetites, because she has caused quite a spread to be set out for your luncheon.”

  “She should not have gone to so much trouble,” Penelope said politely.

  “I think she took pleasure in it, Miss Chapman. She is delighted with the kitten. And the household is grateful, too. This is the most interest she has taken in anything since Sir Peter passed from this life.”

  “Sir Peter was her husband?” Penelope asked.

  “Goodness, no. Her husband was Lord Petralsky. He was of Polish extraction, you see. Calling the cat Sir Peter was something of a joke between them. Lord Petralsky was gone so much of the time, I’m not sure she has really absorbed the idea that he will never be back. Sir Peter was a daily companion, and she has missed him sorely.”

  “Did no one think about getting a kitten for her?”

  “Do you know, Miss Chapman, I’m not sure they did. We were all at sixes and sevens, what with moving her from her rooms in the Great House to the little gate house so as to make way for the new Lord.”

  “Poor dear lady,” Edith said softly.

  The butler shrugged. “It is the way of the world.” He opened the door to the parlor. “The young ladies to see you, My Lady,” he said gently.

  “Thank you Humphrey. Do show them in.”

  The butler had not been exaggerating when he said that there was quite a spread set out for them. There were tiny, triangular sandwiches, at least three different kinds of biscuit, cake, dishes of nuts and two large pots of tea, both kept warm by ingenious little devices that held the pot above a candle flame. There was also bread, crackers, clotted cream, and pickled pigs feet.

  Indigo lay in state on Lady Agatha’s lap, waving his paws at a feather.

  “Come have some luncheon,” the good lady said, “You must be famished after walking all the way here.”

  In spite of having had an excellent breakfast, Penelope and Edith fell to with gusto. Lola also brought good appetite to the table. Lady Agatha beamed upon them. “It is so good to see young ladies who eat heartily. I do believe half the troubles of the world could be cured by good food.”

  The girls agreed that it was just possible. After the luncheon had been cleared away, the young ladies each took turns pulling a ribbon for Indigo. When the elderly lady began to nod in her chair, the young ladies politely took their leave.

  Lady Agatha insisted on giving each of them a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Do come see me again, my dears. You are the best medicine I have had since dear Walter and my darling Sir Peter were taken from me. Indeed, if you want to stay and have afternoon tea with me, I would be very glad.”

  “I cannot,” Lola said. “My mother has scheduled a fitting for me. She is hopeful that a new gown will make me more acceptable.”

  “No offers for your hand?” Penelope asked.

  Lola sighed. “Not yet. My mother is beginning to despair of my receiving any.”

  Lola was a tall girl, with freckles and sandy hair that sprang into ringlets at the slightest hint of wet weather. It was just possible that gentlemen found her forthright manner somewhat intimidating.

  “There will be someone,” Penelope comforted her.

  “But until then, I am at my mother’s beck and call.”

  “I could remain,” Edith whispered.

  “You would not be frightened?” Penelope asked.

  “Not at all,” Edith replied in a stronger voice. “I will play with Indigo, and perhaps read a book. There are books?” she appealed to the butler.

  “There are books, Miss Chapman,” the butler assured her. “And we have maids in plenty. One of them will be set to your bidding. If that is all right with all of you?” He appealed to Penelope and Lola.

  “I, also, have an afternoon engagement,” Penelope said. “If you are quite sure, sister?”

  “I am certain,” Edith said. “I will be able to play with Indigo, and when she awakens from her nap, I will be here to visit with Lady Agatha. I know it might not be quite the thing, but I feel quite safe here.”

  Reassured by her sister’s stout words, Penelope followed Lola out the door to where James was waiting. How could she find words to push Lord Newhorn away? Especially since she was beginning to think that she didn’t want to push him away at all.

  Chapter 22

  Benjamin oversaw the packing of the picnic basket personally. This made the cook and the kitchen maid who was arranging the basket so nervous that they nearly dropped the bottle of well-aged wine and squashed the first loaf of bread with the packet of assorted cheese slices so that it had to be replaced.

  When the basket was finally packed, it contained two of the best apples from the cellars, the packet of sliced cheese, a newly baked round loaf of white bread, an eighth roll of butter, sliced off a fresh roll delivered that morning, two dozen assorted biscuits, and a small jar of jam, as well as a freshly roasted chicken contained in a covered crockery dish. Finally, there was a delicate creation of marzipan in the shape of a unicorn.

  Mrs. Higgins, who was overseeing the packing of the basket, raised her eyebrows at the amount of food. “Is there something the matter?” Benjamin asked.

  “My Lord, I would think you were packing this basket for a hungry family rather than for one delicate lady.”

  “I want to be sure that there is enough and that she will have some choices. If I have leftovers, I am sure I can find a hungry street urchin to feed. In any event, I intend to have my afternoon tea out of this, as well.”

  “Quite so, My Lord. It is to be hoped that she does not take you for a glutton.”

  Benjamin carefully did not mention that they were likely to also be feeding the lady’s chaperone, and that he hoped good quality food would persuade that gentleman to remain well out of hearing range.

  The day was fine. Benjamin cheerfully ignored the footman who labored along behind him, carrying the basket. Another reason to have a well-loaded picnic hamper, since he could scarcely give James a plate without offering one to his own servant.

  As they entered the park, Benjamin caught sight of Miss Chapman’s parasol, held
nonchalantly over one shoulder. He could see that James was doing his valiant best to keep up with her long stride as she paced down the walking path at an unladylike rate. Shy? Someone needed to rethink their assessment of this lady! She exuded confidence at nearly every pore. It hovered about her like the finest Parisian perfume.

  As he approached, he realized that she looked tired, as if she had walked some distance.