Zillion

by Alexander Blackwood

  "Wow!" Reba said. "That's amazing."

  "Very impressive," Digby said. "I had no idea."

  "Frankly," Dr. Kazue said. "I find it difficult to believe." He looked down his nose at Wendell. "No offense, but I assumed you were, at best, an Uber driver."

  "Nope," Wendell said. "And actually my degree from Columbia is in computer engineering."

  Agent Farris made an impressed sound. "So you can code as well as build. That's a rare combination. Where'd you work when you and Mathew were roommates."

  "My bedroom, mostly."

  Agent Farris's brow wrinkled.

  I jumped in to explain. "Wendell's been working on a pretty cool project." Then I said to Wendell, "Why don't you tell him about it?"

  Wendell laughed at me. "Dude, are you trying to ruin this party? Nobody wants to hear that technical junk. It's beyond boring."

  "I don't know," I said. "Hack proof software sounds interesting to me."

  Agent Farris's eyebrows went up. "Are you kidding? That would be extraordinary... if it wasn't impossible."

  "Oh, it's far from impossible," Wendell said. "In fact, I have a beta version right now. I call it Glass. You install Glass prophylactically over the software of your choice. Any tinkering with the foundational code shatters the sequencing matrix. You know, like glass."

  "But that leaves you with a crashed system," Agent Farris said.

  "True, but what would you rather have, a crashed system or a secretly hacked one? Once the threat is alleviated, glass restores the system to its original state. Pretty slick, huh?"

  Agent Farris paused to consider it. "I have to say that's definitely an interesting approach. Since you're not as rich as Mathew is it safe to assume there's still bugs?"

  Wendell shrugged. "Sure, but I'll work them out. What's your interest? Are you in the software field?"

  Agent Farris shook his head. "No. Not really, although my business does rely heavily on cutting edge tech. When you get further along I'd like to hear more."

  "That would be up to Matt. He's going to fund the research."

  "Is that so?" Agent Farris turned to me with suspicion in his eyes. "Is that what this dinner party is all about? You wanted me to hear about Wendell's project?"

  "Not exactly," I said. "More importantly I wanted you to hear about Wendell himself."

  "Dude, what are you talking about?" Wendell said. "Why would you want him to hear about me?"

  Agent Farris adjusted his glasses as if to focus better on my face. "That is an excellent question. What is this really about?"

  "It's about teamwork," I replied. "You just heard Wendell's credentials. He's a beast when it comes to computers. And I'm sure you're already familiar with Reba's background. A brilliant legal mind, incredibly organized, and resourceful." I paused to add weight to my next words. "So here's where I'm at. I'll accept your offer from last night, but only if Wendell and Reba can be on my team."

  There was a moment of confused silence. Then Reba said to me, "What team? What are you talking about?"

  Wendell laughed. "Yeah, dude. Are you high or what? You're starting to sound a little crazy."

  I nodded to Agent Farris. "He knows what I'm talking about. That's all that's important."

  Agent Farris frowned at me. "This is a matter that should be discussed in private. Let's you and I go into another room and--"

  "No need," I said. "They don't know what we're talking about. Those are my terms. If you want me, Wendell and Reba come too."

  Agent Farris turned narrowed eyes on Digby and Dr. Kazue. "Did either of you know about this?"

  The doctor shook his head. "I'm just as surprised as you are. Especially by the fact that Wendell graduated from MIT."

  Digby shook his head as well. "I was completely in the dark."

  Reba stared perplexed at her father. "So you know what Mathew is talking about?"

  "I do. Unfortunately, I can't tell you more at the moment." Then he turned back to Farris. "Frankly, Warren, I don't think it's a terrible idea."

  "What's not a terrible idea?" Wendell said, throwing his hands in the air. "Would someone please tell me what the hell is going on?"

  Ignoring Wendell's outburst, Agent Farris turned back to me. "How do you even know they'd want to be involved?"

  "I don't know for sure," I said. "But judging by their character, I'm guessing they will."

  Wendell turned to Reba. "Can you believe this? On the rudeness scale this has to be a fifteen."

  "You're right," Reba said. "But I'm also very intrigued."

  Agent Farris steepled his hands and thought a moment. Finally he said to me, "Ask them. If they say yes you got your team."

  "Ask them? Just like that? What about clearance?"

  "Let me worry about that. Ask."

  I turned to Reba and Wendell who were both leaned forward, eager for my next words. Instead of priming them with a big speech I decided to get to the point. "Mr. Farris is actually the director of a special section of the Central Intelligence Agency. He's asked me to become a secret operative, and I want you two to work with me. It will be extremely dangerous, but I think working together we could kick ass. What do you say?"

  For a moment Wendell and Reba remained frozen, both stunned. Finally, Reba blinked and said to me, "Just to be clear. You're asking Wendell and I to become secret agents?"

  I nodded. "Yup."

  "Seriously," Wendell said. "Like real life James Bond super spy shit?

  I chuckled. "Pretty much."

  Reba and Wendell exchanged floored looks, then both their hands shot up.

  "Count me in," Reba said.

  "Fuck yeah I'm in," Wendell said. "Let's do this."

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  As Dr. Kazue and I entered the action room, he said to me, "Are you certain you want to do this tonight? There's no need to cut your dinner party short. It can wait until morning."

  "No," I said. "I'd be so worried, I wouldn't be able to sleep. I rather get it over with now."

  "Very well." Dr. Kazue clapped his hands and the lights winked on. "Follow me."

  The doctor led me past the cabinets of weapons and gadgets, to a door I hadn't noticed before. It was completely white except for a red cross at its very center.

  "This is the infirmary," he said. "All those injuries we talked about, this is where they were treated."

  Dr. Kazue opened the door with a key, switched on the lights, and led me inside.

  "Wow!" I said. "You call this an infirmary?"

  If I didn't know better, I'd swear I'd just been transported to a major medical facility. The spacious room had everything. An exam table, two hospital beds, an X-ray station, what looked like a fully equipped bio lab, and cabinets filled with supplies and drugs. There were also several intricate looking mechanical devices I'd never seen before.

  "Looks like you could cure cancer in here, doc."

  Dr. Kazue frowned at my attempt at humor. "FYI, cancer was cured by a Canadian doctor ten years ago." He pointed to the exam table. "Have a seat."

  As I situated myself on the table, Dr. Kazue slipped on a pair of rubber gloves and rummaged around the largest cabinet in the room. When he finally turned around, I flinched at the sight of a huge handgun.

  "Relax," he said. "It's an implant injection gun. It's used to deliver the receiver into the brain. And this is the receiver chip." He held up a slender, sealed glass tube about the size of a cigarette. Inside the tube, what looked like an oversized grain of rice was suspended in clear liquid. A red band at the center of the white grain was the only marking that I could make out.

  I watched Dr. Kazue insert the glass tube into the rear of the injector, like loading a shell into a pistol. It was now clear that the stainless steel medical device only resembled a handgun slightly. Unlike an actual firearm, it was bulbous in shape with a thin, elongated barrel. It reminded me of an industrial grade cordless drill with a long bit locked in its chuck. Staring at the odd contraption, I recalled Agent Farris's cringe-wort
hy description of how the implantation is done. Suddenly, I felt a sinking lightness in my belly. I said to Dr. Kazue, "You're really going to stick that thing up my nose?"

  "Would you prefer I drill through your skull? I have all the tools right here."

  "No thanks," I replied with a queasy scowl.

  "Stop worrying. It looks a lot worse than it is. I insert the barrel, pull the trigger, and it's over. Quick and simple."

  "Digby said something about possible brain damage."

  The doctor sighed. "I'm sure he also explained that's highly unlikely, right?"

  "Yeah, but-"

  "Awww, are you frightened? Would you like me to have one of the French maids come in to hold your hand? Will that make little Mathew feel better?"

  I glared at him. "You need to work on your bedside manner."

  He chuckled. "Your father used to say the exact same thing. Let's get this done. Hold your head back slightly, and stare up at the ceiling."

  I did as I was told.

  "Okay, now hold still and relax. I'm not firing yet. Just inserting the barrel."

  I felt the cold cylinder slide into my right nostril.

  "Good. Now on three I want you to take a deep breath and hold it. Got it?"

  "Yes."

  "Here we go. One, two, three. HOLD."

  I drew a deep breath...

  THWIP! I felt a sharp pinch inside my nasal cavity, and suddenly Dr. Kazue was withdrawing the barrel.

  "Good job," he said, handing me a wad of gauze. "Wipe your nose."

  I wiped and saw only a few drops of blood staining the pad. "That's it?" I asked the doctor. "It's over?"

  "You're done." He returned the implant gun to the cabinet then turned back to me. "How do you feel?"

  I paused to take self-inventory. Except for slight soreness in my nostril, I felt perfectly normal. "I feel great. Like nothing ever--" Suddenly stabbing pain shot through my skull. Wincing, I clutched my head in agony. "Pain," I muttered. "Like a knife in my head. And it's getting worse. What's happening?"

  "Remain calm," Dr. Kazue said. "Tell me, does the pain feel cold or hot?"

  "What?" The pain was intensifying quickly, making it difficult to focus.

  Dr. Kazue squeezed my shoulders. "Mathew, you must answer me. Does the pain feel cold like ice, or hot?"

  "Cold!" I yelled. "Like there's a fucking icicle stuck in my head!"

  Dr. Kazue sighed and released me. "Good. That's normal."

  "Normal? It hurts like hell. How long will it last?"

  "Not sure, exactly. But don't worry." He glanced at his watch. "In about ten seconds you'll be unconscious."

  I'd never felt so much pain in my life. It was so constant and intense that I could barely keep my eyes open. I glared at him through slitted eyes. "What do you mean I'll be--?" The room tilted sharply. My head slapped the top of the exam table. Dr. Kazue's face lost focus then everything went black.

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  I awoke in my bed, completely naked, with a strong urge to urinate. I jumped up, hurried into the bathroom, and flung up the toilet seat. Grasping my penis, I aimed a steady stream into the toilet. My bladder was about half drained when it dawned on me that something was off. Specifically, something felt very different about my penis. While still relieving myself, I looked down at my member and gasped at what I saw. Momentarily distracted, my stream sprayed the back of the toilet seat cover. Quickly correcting my aim, I stared down at my penis again. This time, instead of gasping, my mouth just hung open in shock.

  My manhood was bigger. Both thicker and longer.

  "What the hell?"

  I finished up in the bathroom, then hurried out to the full-length mirror in my bedroom.

  What I saw made me gasp again.

  My penis wasn't the only part of me that had mysteriously increased in size. My entire body was bigger. I don't mean fat... I'm talking pumped. Thanks to my daily biking I was pretty fit to begin with, but now I was more muscular and more defined. It was as if I'd swapped bodies with a professional MMA fighter. I gaped in awe at my reflection as I flexed my corded arms and legs. I could actually feel my newfound strength.

  What the hell was going on?

  The last thing I remembered was Dr. Kazue shooting that gadget up my nose, resulting in the mother of all headaches. As far as I knew the brain implant had nothing to do with the rest of the body. Was this some weird side effect the doctor failed to tell me about?

  "Good, you're already up."

  I turned and saw Reba standing in the doorway. Her eyes dropped to my crotch and she smiled.

  "Whoa! Really up."

  I cupped my hands over my package. "Look at me. Do you have any idea what's going on?"

  "Sure." She crossed the room and took a seat on the edge of the bed. "To recover from the implant Dr. Kazue kept you asleep for three days."

  "Three days?"

  "Yup. Three days and about ten hours, to be exact. During that period Dr. Kazue decided it was a good opportunity to give your body some enhancements. To make you more mission ready is how he put it."

  "But how'd he do all this in three days?"

  "Injections," Reba said. "Some kind of steroids. I think he called them prototype drugs."

  "Prototech drugs?"

  "Yes. That's it. He had to get Agent Farris's okay to use them on you. My father's too."

  "That's great," I said. "But what about getting my permission? He could've asked me first before pumping me full of... who knows what."

  "My father did suggest they wait until you woke up, but Dr. Kazue promised that if you didn't like the enhancements, they were completely reversible. But, truthfully, what's not to like?" She gestured to my body. "Look at you. You look perfect. Better than perfect. Like a Greek God. I bet it feels good too. And Wendell is so jealous. He practically begged Dr. Kazue to shoot him up too."

  Still cupping my privates, I turned and looked at myself in the mirror again. While it irked me Dr. Kazue would perform a radical procedure on my body without asking me first, the fact that it was reversible made it easier to swallow. Also, Reba was right. I looked incredible and felt like I could punch out a horse. And I definitely had no complaints about the fact that I would have to start using Magnum condoms.

  As if reading my mind, Reba said, "The doctor was pretty confident you wouldn't mind because one of the side effects is increased penis size. And from what I saw when I walked in, he was right. Congratulations."

  "Thanks, I guess."

  "He also mentioned something about it being tougher for you to get it up, but that's not a big deal, right?"

  I whirled back to face her. "What? I want you to tell me exactly what he said."

  Reba burst into laughter. "Gotcha."

  "Wait. You were joking?"

  "Of course. Relax, you're perfectly normal. Except for the fact that you've been parading around butt-naked in front of me for like ten minutes." She grabbed a white terrycloth robe from the foot of the bed and tossed it to me. "Don't you know you're supposed to cover up in front of a lady?"

  I glared playfully as I cinched the robe around my waist. "What's wrong? Like what you see? Worried you might lose control?"

  Reba smiled. "I'm a big girl. I'm perfectly capable of controlling myself." Her eyes slowly inventoried my new physique. "Even if I am a little tempted."

  "Are you sure it's just a little?"

  She shrugged. "Maybe a little more than that. But then you already know that, don't you?"

  I paused to drink in the sight of Reba sitting there on my unmade bed, looking sexy as hell. "Here's an idea," I said. "Let's test out my new bod with some wild meaningless sex. It'll be our little secret. Think about it. How often do you get to screw a Greek God?"

  Reba chuckled. "Again, very tempting. But even if I was interested we don't have time. They're waiting for us."

  I blinked. "Who's waiting?"

  "Dr. Kazue and my dad sent me up here to wake you up. That problem Agent Farris mentioned a few days
ago. You know the one that threatens millions of lives? Apparently, it's reached a critical point. We're expected at X9 headquarters in Washington for a briefing in two hours. I'm already packed, and Wendell's packing gear as we speak. Agent Zillion, we're about to go on our first mission."

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  Forty five minutes later, Reba, Wendell and I were zooming towards Washington DC aboard my private jet. The aircraft's wood and leather interior was insanely comfortable, and two gorgeous babeboid flight attendants, both in mini-skirt uniforms, catered to our every need.

  Uncertain how to dress for espionage work, we all settled on business casual. Not surprisingly, Wendell's version of business casual looked an awful lot like just plain casual.

  The level of disorientation and nerves in the cabin was palpable. We were all seated in loungers facing each other, but for the first ten minutes of the flight we just stared quietly out at the clouds.

  Finally, I broke the silence. "Inheriting a fortune was nuts, but somehow what we're about to do seems even nuttier."

  Reba chuckled. "I think that's because almost everyone imagines they can be wealthy... but a secret agent? Not so much."

  "Super secret agent you mean," Wendell said, then he grinned at me. "Dude, the toys in your bat cave are sick as fuck."

  "New rule," I said. "We're not calling it the bat cave. It already has a name. The action room."

  "Yeah, but bat cave sounds way sweeter."

  "This isn't up for debate. I'm not Batman and it's not even a cave."

  "Don't be so technical." Then Wendell snapped his fingers. "I got it! Let's call it the cool cave. You know, since everything in there is--

  "Yeah, yeah, I get it. The answer's still no."

  "Come on, what's wrong with cool cave?" He turned to Reba. "Don't you think cool cave sounds, well, cool?"

  Reba paused to think about it, then nodded. "It definitely sounds better than the action room. Or the bat cave for that matter."

  "See," Wendell said to me. "Dude, your pops would love cool cave."

  "Oh really? And how do you know that?"

  Wendell ticked off the reasons on his fingers. "He named his homes after playing cards. He installed the Clapper to operate the lights in the most sophisticated room in the house. He called his robotic French maids babeboids. Do I really need to go on?"