I Is Another

by Jon Fosse

  No, what was that all about? Mother says

  I don’t know, Asle says

  and then the engine starts again and The Car Salesman says something and his arms and hands aren’t moving and then the car just barely starts moving slowly across the gravel in front of the house, and then it stops, and then it sits there and the engine is running smoothly and then The Car Salesman waves an arm and then Father looks back and the car starts barely moving backwards and then it stops again and then the indicators come on and turn off and the headlights come on and turn off, and then Father drives slowly forwards again and he turns off towards The Barn and then the car reverses again, slowly, and then it stops for a good little while before Father turns the wheel and the car creeps forward and then the car stops and Father turns the engine off and then The Car Salesman opens the door and gets out and he tells Mother that wasn’t so bad now and Father gets out and he looks pale and Asle sees that his hands are shaking and The Car Salesman says again that wasn’t bad at all no, and then he says that practice makes perfect and that Father just has to take it easy and drive slowly and carefully especially the first time and that he has to get going now, on to the next buyer, because he’s supposed to deliver no less than two more cars today, The Car Salesman says and then he shakes Mother’s hand and says congratulations and then he shakes Father’s hand and says good luck and both Mother and Father say thank you thank you and then The Car Salesman goes over to the man sitting in the other car waiting for him and then Mother and Father stand there and look at the car and neither of them says a word, it’s as if they don’t dare say a word and Father seems nervous and then Mother says that this summer they’ll be driving their own car and they’ll go visit her parents and brothers and sisters on Hisøy, and then, while they’re there, they can drive to Haugaland to go shopping, she says and Asle sees Father stand there writhing not really knowing what to say

  Isn’t it beautiful? Mother says

  Yeah, Father says

  and he nods and he sort of can’t stop nodding, he nods and nods, and then he stops his nodding

  Well it was sure expensive enough, Father says

  Let’s not talk about that now, Mother says

  and then they stand there and neither one says anything

  Should we go on our first drive? Mother says

  Guess we have to, Father says

  Yes, we really do have to, Mother says

  and she asks if Asle wants to come along and he shakes his head and says that the two of them can go for a drive on their own and then Father goes and gets behind the wheel and Mother goes around the other side and gets in and then Father starts the car and then they just sit there and then the car gives a sudden jolt forwards and then stops and Mother looks at Asle and she shakes her head and Father looks utterly desperate and then he starts the car again and it doesn’t move and then it slowly slowly starts to move forwards and then Father turns the wheel and Asle sees the car slowly disappear around the corner of The Old House and Asle walks after the car and he sees Grandma standing in the window and Asle sees the car drive slowly slowly down the driveway and Grandma opens the window and she shakes her head

  Foolishness, she says

  Spending all that good money to buy a car, she says

  and Asle says he doesn’t understand it either and he sees the car barely creeping down the driveway and he runs after the car and then walks behind the car and it pulls out onto the country road and drives slowly slowly down the road and then Father drives a little faster and Asle starts to jog slowly behind the car and then he runs past the car and he turns around and he waves at Father sitting and staring stiffly straight ahead and he waves at Mother and she waves back with a stiff smile and Asle runs some more and then he stops and the car gets closer to him again and then he starts walking next to the car and Mother is tensely looking straight ahead and then a couple of boys come biking up behind them and they swerve aside and bike past the car without stopping and Asle feels embarrassed and looks away and he turns around and walks home and he turns back and he sees the car creeping slowly, slowly down the road along The Shore and it’s embarrassing, never in his life has Asle seen anyone drive a car that slowly, he thinks and I drive south on the country road that runs north and south down to Bjørgvin, and it’s much easier driving now because the roads are cleared, and besides it’s almost as light out now as it ever gets this time of year, and I’m driving slowly south and soon I’ll be at The Playground where I saw a young man with medium-length brown hair and a young woman with long black hair playing the day before yesterday, I think, and when I drive past The Playground I won’t look down at it, I think and I won’t stop at the turn-off either, by the path down to The Playground, I think and I drive past The Playground and I drive past the turn-off, and I don’t want to stop, because I don’t feel tired, I think and I get to the old brown house where Ales and I used to live once, and the paint is flaking off that house too and I look at the house and I see a young man with medium-length brown hair standing and looking out the window of the brown house and he thinks that despite everything they were lucky to find this house to rent, even if it’s old and run-down, the old kitchen is good enough, and everything they needed was already there when they moved in, an old stove and a fridge that was almost as old, and all the frying pans and table linens and knives and forks they needed, yes, everything you need in a kitchen, and there was furniture in the main room and a double bed in the bedroom, yes, it was like moving into a fully furnished house, and in fact that’s what it was, because the man they’d rented it from had taken only his mother’s most personal belongings with him, his mother had lived in that house until she died, and she died in her bed, in the double bed where he and Ales were now sleeping, Asle thinks, so all of the furniture was already there in the house, and a good thing too because he and Ales had practically nothing, just a couple of pans and some mugs, and some sheets and blankets, that was it, so it was great for them that the house they were moving into was like a newly furnished home, it was as if the woman who’d lived there had stepped out and not come back, and then her son, the one who’d rented them the house, came by and took her clothes and gave them to The Second-Hand Store in Sailor’s Cove, and threw out her toiletries and everything like that, and then he took two or three things he wanted for himself, and then he rented out the house, and Ales’s mother Judit knew him, they worked together at The Hospital, and so Ales heard through her mother Judit that the house was for rent and she’d mentioned that they should rent it and so they did, because they wanted to get out of Bjørgvin and have a little more space than they had in the flat they were renting there on The Hillside in Bjørgvin, and so they rented the house and moved in, but of course they didn’t want to keep the house exactly the way the woman who used to live there had had it, living there her whole life with her husband and child, and then later alone, so they’d packed up a lot of the stuff there and put it down in the cellar or in a room up in the attic, and there were bracket lamps everywhere when they moved in and they unscrewed every last one, that was the first thing they did, and then they got rid of a couple of armchairs and then they moved all their painting supplies into the main room and they put up a bookshelf that Asle had made himself, yes, they’d really been lucky, Asle thinks standing there at the window, being able to rent this old house, and the brown paint on the outside of the house was still in good shape, actually, he thinks, and when he and Ales first lived together, he thinks, they’d lived in a two-room basement flat, but they wanted to live in a house, and they wanted to live outside of Bjørgvin, and then they got this house and now they’ve lived here for a while and things are good, before they left Bjørgvin they bought a car and before that he got a driver’s licence, something he never thought he’d do, he didn’t want a driver’s licence but he realized that if they were going to live on their own so far from other people they needed a car and so one of them needed to get a driver’s licence and since Ales didn’t want to any more
than he did, well, he was the one who did it, and then they bought an old used car, mother Judit simply gave them the money to buy the car as a wedding present, because she still worked at The Hospital and made money, she was from Austria, and Ales’s father was from Dylgja, and his unmarried sister, old Alise, still lived there, in their childhood home, hers and Ales’s father’s, she lived in a pretty white house with two main rooms and an adjoining bedroom, and with two rooms and two crawlspaces up in the attic, Asle thinks, yes, mother Judit was from Austria but it was hard to tell that she wasn’t Norwegian, she had learned to speak Norwegian so well, to the point where it was hard to say where in the country she came from, there was something universal about the way she spoke Norwegian, yes, it was actually kind of strange, her language, Asle thinks, but he met Ales and they moved in together and they got married, it was like it was already settled that they’d do that, it kind of happened by itself, they were together ever since the first time they met and they got married in St Paul’s Church and only they and the best man and maid of honour were there, mother Judit and Beyer, and then, before they got married, Ales got Asle to convert to The Catholic Church, he’d been confirmed, with two witnesses there, not that long before the wedding, and one of the witnesses was Catholic, Ales’s mother Judit, and the other witness was Beyer, and it was also in St Paul’s Church that he’d been confirmed, only the priest was there plus the two witnesses, and Ales too of course, because her mother Judit was Catholic, and that was why Ales had been baptized Catholic and went to her first communion and was confirmed in St Paul’s Church, whereas he had been baptized in The National Church and confirmed there in a Protestant way, and the baptism was valid but the confirmation wasn’t, which was why Asle didn’t have to be baptized, and the Catholic confirmation felt good, and he can still feel the priest drawing a cross on his forehead with the consecrated oil, and afterwards he and Ales got married, also in St Paul’s Church, and then they lived for a while in the little apartment on The Hillside and then they moved into this old house, Asle thinks, standing there looking out the window and he thinks he just saw someone drive by on the road, and he’s seen that vehicle several times already, a large car like a small van, he thinks, so whoever owns it must live in somewhere north of here, he thinks, but now, yes, now there were rumours that the man who’d rented them the house needed it back, Asle thinks, probably one of the man’s children needed a place to live, and so, yes, he didn’t come right out and say it but he was talking as if they couldn’t keep renting the house where they lived for much longer, he said they should move out as soon as they could, that was what he’d said without saying it outright, Asle thinks, and Ales had thought they could move in with her aunt in Dylgja, old Alise, she lived there alone and could certainly use a little help around the house, but Asle didn’t want to do that, yes well Dylgja was fine and the house, yes, he couldn’t imagine a nicer house to live in, but he didn’t want to live with anyone else in the house, he wanted to live there with just Ales, and Ales had said she was sure they could live upstairs in the old house in Dylgja, and just keep their food downstairs, and then they could go shopping for her aunt and help her, she was old now, old Alise, and she could use some help with the shopping, with keeping the house clean, with everything really, Ales had said, and maybe they should move there, because Ales had already spoken to her old aunt Alise about it and Alise had felt it was a good solution, yes, if Ales and Asle wanted to she would be glad and grateful to have them move into her house, she’d said, but Asle hadn’t wanted to, he couldn’t stand living so close to other people, anyone, the only person he could stand having nearby was Ales, he’d said, Asle thinks, and Ales had said she understood and then they’d just acted like nothing was happening and stayed living in the house they were renting, Asle thinks, standing there in the window looking out and then he hears Ales coming and he turns around to face her and he holds out his hand and she takes his hand and then they give each other a hug and Asle says that he’s seen a little delivery van drive by several times and Ales says the owner is probably someone who lives nearby and I look at the white road and I’m driving south and now I’m getting close to Bjørgvin, and what a relief it’ll be to drop off these pictures, I think and I look at the white road and I see Asle standing outside the house in Barmen in his black velvet jacket and with the brown leather shoulder bag hanging over his shoulder and he takes out a packet of tobacco and rolls a cigarette that he puts between his lips, and then he takes out a matchbox and takes a match out, he lights it, and Asle thinks that the day Father got his new car The Bald Man was standing down at the bus stop waiting for the bus to Bjørgvin, and that was the last time he ever saw The Bald Man, he thinks, because The Bald Man never came back from Bjørgvin alive, he came home in a coffin, Asle thinks and then he stands there and sees that the boot of the car is open and there’s a hot plate in the boot, a hot plate for a studio apartment, with one burner, and a box of clothes, underwear, socks, a warm pullover, shirts, trousers, shoes, and a box with kitchen utensils, a bread knife and plates and knives and forks and spoons, and he’s put all his painting supplies in the boot, and they’re in a single box, and everything he owns is here, and some canvas and wood for stretchers, Asle thinks and he stands there and takes a good long pull of his cigarette and he thinks that now he’s been smoking for more than a year already, almost, and he sees Mother come up with a duvet and a pillow and a burlap sack

  Here’s your duvet and pillow, she says

  and Mother puts the rolled-up duvet and the pillow into the bag and puts the bag into the boot of the car and she says that, as he saw, the duvet cover and pillowcase were on the duvet and pillow, Mother says

  Thank you, Asle says

  Yes so we’ve probably got just about everything, Father says

  Not the raincoat and boots, Mother says

  and then she goes back inside and she comes out with a raincoat and boots and she puts them in the boot

  So that’s about it now? Father says

  And something to eat for the road, we need that, Mother says

  And a little food for the new place too, she says

  and Mother goes back inside and Father says it wouldn’t hurt if Asle brought a little food with him, but now that he was going to start at The Academic High School in Aga and live by himself he was going to have to learn how to go shopping for himself, and the old studio stove with the one burner he had had the year he went to Agriculture School and lived in a rented room was already in the boot of the car, Father said, and the pots and pans are packed, so now Asle can try to cook for himself now and then, Father says, because it can get expensive to buy dinner every day, even if there is a café in Aga and a cafeteria at The Academic High School, and even if it doesn’t exactly cost an arm and a leg to buy dinner either at the café or the cafeteria, he says

  And every month I’ll send you the money you need, he says

  And plus you’ll get a little stipend since you have to live in an apartment and can’t live at home, he says

  Yes, Asle says

  You won’t have much to spare but it’ll definitely be enough to live on, he says

  and Father says well he also has the kroner he made selling paintings over the summer, yes, it was a good idea to have an exhibition in the Barmen Youth Centre, because sure enough he sold all the pictures, he says and he says that the agreement is that Asle will pay rent for the room once a month, the first day of the month, unless it’s a holiday and he’s home of course, he says

  Okay, Asle says

  and then they stay standing there in front of the house and they don’t say anything

  You were lucky to get a room for such a good price, Father says

  In its own building, too, he says

  Yes, Asle says

  We just needed to put an ad in The Hardanger Times and it all worked out, Father says

  and he says that the woman who called them said she was a widow and that her husband had been a shoemaker and The Shoemak
er’s Workshop belonging to the deceased husband was next to the house where she lived and there was a room in the attic there with a bed and a table and a little pantry too with a window, where you could prepare your food if you wanted to, and downstairs, on the ground floor, well that’s where there was a toilet and shower, it was laid out like that because her husband had always had an apprentice who lived in the attic in The Shoemaker’s Workshop, yes, that’s why there was a toilet and shower on the ground floor, she’d said, Father says

  It sounds great, Asle says

  Let’s take a look, Father says

  Okay, Asle says

  and he rolls another cigarette and lights it and then they stand there silently in front of the house and Father says it’s a strange day, because Asle, their only son, yes, their only living child, is leaving home, moving out and moving away and going to live by himself, yes, it’s a memorable day, Asle is leaving his childhood home while he’s still so young, so that’s the end of his adolescence, the end of childhood, but that’s how it is out in the country, if you want to go to school you need to move away, Father says and Asle doesn’t say anything and he thinks finally, finally, he’s leaving home, he can’t wait, he’s going to live by himself, alone, and not have to listen to Mother constantly nagging about him needing a haircut, about how it’s just not acceptable to go around looking like he does, about how he needs to paint proper paintings, like he did before, when he was younger, not these messes that don’t look like anything, and nagging him about how he needs to be like other people his age, he’s really no better and no worse than anybody else, he’s just pretends like he’s so different, she’s said that and again she says that he needs to cut his hair, a boy just can’t go around with such long hair, she’s said and she nags him like that day in and day out, Asle thinks and then Father says again that this is a big day