The High Priestess (The Darkest Desires Series Book 1)

by N. M. Brown

  A stiff gust of breath flew off Echo’s lips as she looked to the sloped ceiling of her place. Adin’s and her place once upon a time, her mind reeled.

  Echo waited until the moon had fully risen and the tears that had stained her cheeks had fully evaporated. Her front door was still wide open as if Bris wanted to drive home the point one last time before she left.

  Echo apparently had places to be.

  XXVII

  McQueen, felt refreshed. In body, at least. In the wee hours of the morning he’d awoken with a splitting headache but had quickly fixed it with a strong cup of tea and two painkillers. Shuffling out the door after a shower and teeth clean, he felt a wave of unease again. It could have been the hangover, but it was more than that. Since he awoke, having called twice he still couldn’t reach Hale. Last they had spoken; he was still dealing with Interpol and catching them up on ‘Maddock’. On the other hand, he had been able to reach the undercover team, but they’d reported that nothing had occurred at the House. Like, literally nothing. The lights had stayed off, the doors had remained closed and they hadn’t seen hide, or hair of any guests. McQueen asked them to stick around; note who came and went and if they opened again. They did tell him Echo had left early that morning, but they hadn’t followed. McQueen couldn’t bring himself to care where the woman had gone. He was done with her.

  In his morning daze, he decided to give Lizzy one more try. Perhaps the drugs would kick in and she would feel less pain? Maybe her mind had healed in the pastfew hours? Maybe angels would come down and wipe his ass for all eternity too. Sighing, he drove the scenic path to the hospital while the empty streets slowly awoke to meet the day. Shop owners were slowly coming out, the postmen were running their rounds and McQueen could smell fresh bread on the cool morning breeze. He didn’t have the radio on. He always hated the adverts and today he couldn’t stand the cheery morning music and the holiday wishes. Shit, it was almost Christmas. His Ma’ would expect a card. His step-dad wouldn’t, and McQueen didn’t have anyone else he felt like sending one too. At least that was an easy list to complete.

  The Ambulance bay was quiet which McQueen decided to take as a good sign. He battled the growing wind, his shoulders hunched as he walked through the motion sensor doors. The eerie silence greeted him while the creamy yellow lobby looked dim and unwelcoming. It looked like a slowly rotting banana no one quiet wanted to throw out yet, just in case. The only sign of life was the receptionist and the half dead potted plant next to her.

  “Good morning.” She spoke from behind her computer screen, not even lifting her eyes to him. Her wispy brown hair was pulled back in a tight pony-tail and her skin was pale with red blotches. Yet perfectly manicured fingers grasped a clip board and placed it on the counter top. “Fill this out, name, address, insurance, sign and date. No, we cannot ensure the doctor of your choice. Repeat prescriptions do not need to be signed by a doctor. If you feel increasing pain while waiting, think long and hard before calling a nurse; we are very busy. However, we will be with you as soon as we can.” He could see in the reflection of her glasses she was playing solitaire on her PC, but McQueen was spent. He didn’t have the energy to reprimand her.

  “I’m just visiting.” He thought about the last time he and Hale had come here. They had no idea what was in store for them, but this time McQueen knew better.

  “Oh, do you know your way?” She finally looked up and did a double take. He’d made sure he’d left his apartment with his hair combed, face shaved and washed, as well as picking out a clean suit and matching tie. But, that didn’t seem to have helped with the bags under his eyes or the look of helplessness within them. Her pitiful smile just made him feel worse.

  “Yes, thank you.” He took a step away, but swivelled back, surprised to find the woman’s eyes still on him. “Do you know if a Nurse Willow is on shift today?” If he had to face what was upstairs, he could use some back up. And he didn’t lie to himself when he thought she was a beautiful woman who he’d like to know more.

  “Oh… I’m not sure. I can have a look for you?” She stammered but still didn’t move, eyes glued to his haggard frame.

  “Yes. Please.” McQueen said curtly. She was really making him feel like shit.

  “One second.” Clicking away at the keys, McQueen was pleasantly surprised that she seemed to be half decent at her job, and even made the effort to pick up the phone. Maybe it really was a slow day and she was happy to have a task to do. Thanking whoever was on the other end of the line, she smiled at him all perky and happy. McQueen chose to ignore that she thrusted her chest at him and licked her lips suggestively. “She worked last night, but her shift ended over an hour ago. I’m sorry.” She didn’t look sorry. “If I can assist you in any way, I’d be happy too.”

  “No. It’s alright.” McQueen quickly answered, backing up, “Thanks for your help.” He decided to take the stairs than wait for the lift. He could still feel her eyes on him even as the fire door closed behind him. As he ascended, McQueen found himself slowing his steps with every level he reached. Lizzy was in no shape for visitors, and he didn’t even have a reason to see her. She was their last strand of any tangible evidence and she was a useful as a chocolate teapot. Hale was following their most likely suspect to no avail and no other leads had popped up yet. McQueen felt adrift in a sea of dead ends and lost traction.

  As he exited on the correct floor he was greeted with a wail so loud, his hand twitched towards his gun. A woman had collapsed to her knees along with a man who McQueen assumed to be her husband; his arms still clinging around her. McQueen noted the matching wedding bands and their similar age; a happy couple perhaps. But instead of smiles and laughter they looked to be praying at the Doctors feet; the woman’s hands were even clasped together. The Doctor still wore his surgical scrubs, the mint green fabric damp with sweat. He’d tried to clean up, but McQueen saw the flecks of blood dotting the scrub legs and the hollow look in his eye. Some days you win, someday, like today, you lose.

  The woman’s voice cracked with every scream and it echoed down the hall which would haunt anyone. Her husband’s eyes had glazed over, and his hand made repetitive circular motions on the women’s back not taking in his surroundings. He was in shock. McQueen had seen it before when he was just a probationary officer, knocking on doors to tell the family the bad news. Some screamed as the woman continued to do; eyes clamped shut as if to hide from the horrors in the world. Some slammed the door, denial taking over but after a few calls to a dead cell phone, they often came back to the Station looking for answers. The man was in the third category: shock. The world continuing to turn around him but nothing registering in his mind. He might wake someday. He might not. He could look onto the world with dead eyes for a life time just as McQueen's Ma’ did. She had never recovered, not even to this day.

  McQueen let their sorrow and pain wash over him like a soothing balm. It boosted his strength, allowed him to roll his shoulders and lift his chin. He wanted to protect and serve, to aid and defend. To help those who couldn’t help themselves whether they be dead or had given up. Somehow, he would help Lizzy and those who’d also died in this case.

  As he turned the corner into Lizzy’s ward, a surprised cry came from behind, startling him from his thoughts. “Detective McQueen.” The petite Nurse Willow strolled up to him, arms burdened with fresh clean bandages. “I wasn’t expecting you or your partner to come back. I didn’t think there was much else you could get from Lizzy.” She smiled sadly. “Is Detective Hale on his way up?” She glanced behind him.

  “Ah… It’s just me today.” He admitted saying no more. Suspects on the loose made the public jumpy, though he thought Nurse Willow might be made from stronger stuff.

  “Oh. Well did you bring Echo with you? Lizzy has mentioned her a few more times. I’ve tried to get some answers for you, but I’ve not had any luck.” Making a pointed look behind him, Nurse Willow frowned. “Did you not bring her either?”

  McQueen's throat
bobbed and his hand were pushed deeper into his pockets. “No, we – I mean, yes we found her, but – ah… no, no she’d not coming.” It baffled McQueen that of course Nurse Willow didn’t know Echo. Didn’t know of the black thorns that encircled her heart or the ice in her veins. No, only he had the pleasure of knowing that.

  Nurse Willow’s eyes furrowed but she didn’t push further. “Oh, ok. Well, if you’d like to check on Lizzy now Detective, I was just about to freshen her bandages.”

  “Please,” he smiled “Call me McQueen.”

  The woman blushed. She was a cute little thing, soft mousey brown hair pulled into a high ponytail, looking graspable. She had a button nose with freckles that danced across it, and large plump lips. “McQueen it is then.” She smiled. “And you can at least call me by my name too, Sage.”

  “Sage Willow” he rolled over his tongue.

  “Yes, yes” She blushed, “Hippy parents. They had a thing about nature. Thankfully I’m an only child so they didn’t inflict another child with such a name.” She laughed but McQueen detected a slight bitterness to her words.

  “I like it.” He smiled, trying to ease whatever tension had crawled up her spine. Nodding in thanks, the two of them began walking towards Lizzy’s room, not saying much of importance. Sage admitted she was off duty, and couldn’t work in an emergency, but as before, no other nurses could deal with Lizzy’s screams and bouts of insanity. So, when she was asked if she’d do this one last job, Sage had said yes. McQueen admitted he admired her strength and her resolve, and how she cared for her patients. He thought it was admirable. He was pretty chuffed when a deep blush covered her cheeks at his compliment.

  “It’s my job.” She answered. “I always wanted to help people, those who are in need.” She paused before speaking again. “Since I’ve started tending to Lizzy, as well as seeing the animosity towards her, I’ve been thinking I would like to work with more mentally unstable patients. I think that even though we can fix a body; the flesh and its skin, that maybe the mind and the soul are more important.” She blushed heavily. “I’ve not admitted that to any one yet.”

  “I think it’s a fantastic goal. Lizzy could use every helping hand she can get.” McQueen was once again brought back to Echo’s cut and dry views. “She is stronger than I think anyone gives her credit for.” He was rewarded with a beautiful smile that touched Sage’s eyes and suddenly he found himself blushing as well.

  “Well,” McQueen threw caution to the wind as they rounded the last corner, “When we’ve finished here, and you clock off for real, would you like to talk more about this over….” The last of his words dribbled from his lips and his breath caught in his chest.

  “McQueen?” Sage asked an eager glint in her eye as she again pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “What were you going to say?”

  “…Sorry?” He breathed but his eyes still stayed glued down the corridor.

  From afar, she looked like an angel of death. Her long, dark hair hung down around her like a veil while a floor length black shirt draped down her body like a gown. The start of leather heels could be seen poking from underneath and her pale skin glowed in contrast. Her arms were folded gently around her waist, as if holding herself together. Somehow, who knew how she managed it, but her face didn’t look sickly in the harsh yellow lights. It glowed.

  “Who is that?” Sage asked snapping McQueen from his trance. She didn’t seem to have noticed McQueen had been gawking and she didn’t seem nearly as surprised as he was. But then the sweet nurse had never met this dark angel before.

  “Echo.” He said in a hushed voice.

  Sage whipped her head back to look at him, be he’d already started forward. “The Echo you said wasn’t coming?” But her question went unanswered.

  Even as he had uttered her name, Echo hadn’t turned to face him. She didn’t turn when he was ten feet away, nor when he was two. “Echo?” He breathed again. Following her eyes McQueen saw a perfect line of sight from the corridor, through the closed door’s tiny window and onwards to an occupied bed. The bed Lizzy was lying in. The drugs must have kicked in, or they finally upped the dose, because she was sleeping. Not peacefully as hands and shoulders twitched now and again, but she was asleep which was better than screaming. Sage had joined them standing on the other side; watching Echo, then McQueen, then through the door, then back to Echo. She looked like an owl on patrol. “Sooo, you’re… Echo?” She asked, but neither of them answered.

  McQueen, after seeing what held Echo’s gaze, studied her face trying to read what was going on in her head. He had seen lust fill her eyes, seen anger curl her lip and seen a glare that could turn a man to stone. He’d seen her face full of wickedness as she tore Sydney down, and he’d seen complete disregard when she’d seen her friend, Dwight, dead and strung up. Now though, she was a blank slate. He couldn’t read her no matter how hard he tried. “Nurse Willow, could you give us a moment.”

  “Alright.” Whatever looked passed over Sage’s face, McQueen didn’t see. He waited until the click of Lizzy’s door closing sounded, before he spoke again. He didn’t touch her or speak above a whisper as he squared himself against Echo still statue. “Why did you come?” He murmured, scarcely moving his lips.

  “I don’t know.” Echo breathed, blinking slowly like she was waking from a dream.

  McQueen didn’t believe her. He said as much in a soft tone, trying to draw her out more, but she didn’t retort. She didn’t move. She only continued to blink at Lizzy, her view only obstructed when Sage moved from one side of the bed to the other, removing, cleaning and then re-covering Lizzy’s wounds. “Echo. Why did you come?”

  “I don’t-…” she sucked in a breath. Looking back into the room, McQueen saw that Lizzy had moved her head. Now awake, one powerful, unblinking eye was watching out her room’s window, its gaze trained only on Echo. “I didn’t-… I didn’t want it to happen again.”

  “What to happen?”

  Echo was slow with her words. Fragile. McQueen knew one wrong step; one wrong word and she’d crumble before building her walls up so high and so thick no one would ever step back into them. “I didn’t want someone to die again because of me.”

  McQueen though back to the other victims; the ones who were strung up like Lizzy; torn apart and their dignity stripped. They had yet to figure the connection to Cardinal House apart from it was the killers’ choice of hunting ground, but McQueen could see how Echo might blame herself. Feeding them spiked drinks hadn’t help, but that didn’t mean Echo had killed them. As the curtain twitched, giving him just a shadow of Echo’s real self; McQueen saw the first dribble of humanity within her. “No one will die again. Not if we catch whoever is doing this.” He took a breath and slowly, gently as if approaching a wild stallion, McQueen rested his hand on Echo’s back, the top of her spine beneath his palm. “We will catch them. But we need your help.”

  More minute’s past and Sage was finished in the room, but she was still finding things to do as if not wanting to leave Lizzy’s side. McQueen didn’t blame her. Not even he could predict what might happen next. Lizzy was so broken, and Echo wasn’t exactly a therapist or anything.

  Stepping towards the door, McQueen reached for the handle when a reluctant voice came from Echo’s mouth. “I don’t think I can do this.”

  McQueen cursed his mind and body screaming at his impatience. He couldn’t lose her now. Not when he was so close to getting her in Lizzy’s room. “You can Echo. You won’t see any wounds; they’re all covered, and she is healing well.” McQueen‘s mind reeled with every possibility that could give Echo cold feet and how he might get them unstuck. “She’s been asking for you Echo, she doesn’t blame you.”

  Echo scoffed, her natural coldness bearing forth again. “I know she doesn’t blame me.” But still Echo didn’t move.

  McQueen paused and stepped in front of her, so he blocked her view to Lizzy. He needed to get through to her now. Her eyes didn’t move as they came up level with his c
ollar bone, they just continued to look right though him as if she could still see Lizzy. “Then what is it?” He asked softly.

  “I can’t-… I can’t do it.” She breathed again, and her lips twitched, pulled to the side in worry. Not daring at ask any question, McQueen just let her continue, breathing in the scent of her: lemon and exotic brush of jasmine. “I can’t be… compassionate.” She rushed out the word like it coated her tongue in tar. “I can’t… feel pity for her or empathise. I don’t know how…” She trailed off.

  Until that moment, it hadn’t occurred to McQueen that Echo, the hard, bitterly cold woman who’d examined a crime scene like a pro, couldn’t feel sympathy. He’d guess a while ago she didn’t feel or think as normal people would; that was obvious. Her words and opinions were often callous and blunt, and people just didn’t think like that, or if they did they didn’t say it out loud. But her thick walls were down, and she’d been asked to do something she’d never done before. McQueen almost laughed. It was like asking a child to drive a car.