I shrug. “I felt it needed to be said.” He goes to say something, but I want this conversation over and done with so I change the subject. “I have to go to town today. Do you want to come with me?” As soon as I say it, I want to take it back. I don’t need to get close to him. I don’t need to be close to anyone. It’s better that way.
“Yeah that would be great. I need to go to the bank and I need to check in with my parole officer by Friday so today would be great. May as well get it over and done with.” He seems reluctant, and I am not sure if I’m giving off that vibe or if he’s reluctant to meet his parole officer. “What time do you want to leave?”
“I need a shower and I also need to put Ethel’s and Agnes’ clothes into the wash.” He glances at me in surprise. “We have a few washers and dryers in the basement. As Ethel and Agnes are old, I take their washing down for them every Thursday and do it. So say in about two hours, is that okay?”
“Yes, two hours is perfect, and you wash them today so that it’ll be ready for them when they go to town on Friday.” He’s nodding as if it makes sense. How the hell does he know that they go to town on a Friday? “Mrs. Ethington called me last night. I thought she needed something fixed. Turns out she made me dinner.”
That right there is why I love my women in this complex, each one of them is kind and caring. “That was nice of her.”
He shrugs. “Yeah, she didn’t need to do that. I’ll see you in a while.” He stands up and my eyes are fixated as his hand reaches back and wipes the sand off of his ass. This man is going to be the death of me. I need to stay well away from him, although it’s a bit hard when he’s living next door to me.
Two hours later and he’s waiting for me as I exit my apartment, the anticipation of being around him again has had me giddy but confused at the same time. “Ready to go?”
A smile lights up his face. “Ready as I’ll ever be.” But even though he’s smiling, it doesn’t reach his eyes.
Trent walks ahead to open the door, I notice he’s wearing the clothes I bought for him. The jeans were a little snug around his ass, the shirt a little tight against his muscles. I’m not going to complain, the man is gorgeous. Then again, I don’t think there’s any way for him to be anything but. Glancing down at myself, I instantly regret not putting on some jeans, I’m wearing yoga pants and an old, faded t-shirt.
“Where do you need to go to first?” I ask as we reach my car.
“I need to go to the Parole Office. Get that over and done with first, then I need to go to the bank, make sure that it’s unfrozen and also I’ll probably need a new card. No doubt mine’s out of date.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his wallet, showing me his bank card.
“Oh yeah, you’ll probably need a new one. It shouldn’t take too long. Oh, I knew there was something I forgot, can you hold on for two minutes? I left something in my apartment.” I don’t wait for him to respond; I rush back into the complex and unlock my door. I forgot to give him my old cell phone, he’ll need one so that the tenants can contact him, and mine was just sitting there gathering dust. I’ll get him a sim card today while we’re in town. I’ll put him on my plan, as I have Mary-Rose and Maggie on it too. I quickly find it, wishing I had remembered it before now, I just hope he doesn’t think I’m too involved, or as though I’m trying to take over. I just want to help him, I want to make sure he’s okay. I have a feeling that he needs someone.
He’s staring at me as I return to the car. “Thanks, ready?”
He has a cocky smirk, and my God, I want to sigh. He’s freaking lethal, I mean he’s gorgeous and to top it off that smirk screams bad boy, even though everything I’ve learned about him tells me he’s anything but. “I’m ready, are you?”
There’s a double meaning behind that and I’m not even going to dignify it with an answer. “Are you nervous?”
His eyebrows almost hit his hairline. “About?”
“Meeting with your parole officer?” I’m nervous for him. I can’t imagine what he’s going through. He seems to be dealing okay with being out, maybe I’m just overthinking things.
“No, that’ll be fine,” he says bluntly before turning to look out the window.
Well that ends that conversation.
Let’s try something else. “Ethel said you’d be bringing her into town tomorrow.”
“Yeah, she kind of demanded it. I don’t mind.” He sounds disinterested and I’m wondering what the hell happened to make him go from being fine and happy-ish to being cold and rude.
“You can take the truck.” I’m a sucker, but he needs it and so does Ethel. She’ll be happy that she’ll have Trent as a companion for the day. Is he aware that this Friday is the day she gets her hair done? She gets it dyed along with getting a perm. He’ll be stuck in town for a couple of hours, if he doesn’t, he’ll have fun tomorrow.
“That would be great thanks.” It comes out harsh. I must have said something to piss him off. I’m not sure what and right now, I don’t have the time to even think what it could be.
Pulling into the mall’s parking lot, I put the car into park. “Will you stay here until I get back? I won’t be very long.”
Confusion is evident on his face, but he nods. “Sure.”
I rush into the mall. I need to get the sim card for this cell phone. At least that way when he’s finished doing what he needs to, he can call me and that way he’s not hanging around the car waiting on me.
It takes me almost twenty minutes, and I feel terrible as I walk toward the car, I had to have his number programmed into my cell and mine into his. I can see that he’s pissed. His jaw is clenched as are his fists. He’s out of the car before I even reach it. “I’m so sorry. I know I said I wouldn’t be very long.” I can’t believe I left him waiting here that long, I never in a million years thought it would have taken that long, otherwise I would have brought him with me.
“It’s fine. Can I go now?” he bites out. If his jaw tenses any more, his teeth will break.
“Here.” I hand him the cell phone, I can’t believe that he’s being rude. I’ve gone out of my way to help him as I have since I met him and I didn’t intentionally mean to upset him. “Call me when you’re done.” I turn and start walking away, hitting the lock on the key fob as I do. I’m so mad, God, I could kick him.
As I reach the mall door, I turn and see that he’s gone. He didn’t even follow me. Well that’s that then. He’s not worth the effort. I’ve been nothing but nice to him, and I’ve tried to welcome him only to get it thrown in my face.
I’m browsing the shops for some new clothes. It’s been a while since I’ve splurged on myself. I’m still so angry that I’m just stomping through the shops not even really paying any attention to the clothes. All that keeps running through my mind is what the hell happened? Why is he so rude and distant? I’m driving myself crazy! Maybe this is who he really is? I don’t even know him; he could have been extra nice yesterday because it was his first day out. Ugh, it’s annoying me. I shouldn’t care; he shouldn’t be able to change my mood like this. I pick up a few bits, a few tank tops along with a skirt and a pair of Capri pants. This mood I’m in is such a killer that I even walk past the shoe store without stopping to have a browse.
My phone rings and I groan as I notice who’s calling me. It’s Trent. I really don’t want to answer it but I have to. “Hello.” My hello isn’t exactly friendly but I’m still not as rude as he’s been to me.
“Where are you?” Yeah, he’s not being friendly either.
I sigh, trying not to get my temper rising. “I’m in the mall. I need to get something to eat. Do you want something?” Ugh, why did I ask that, I should have just gone home and ate there.
“Ummm,” he says, and the word is long and drawn out. “I don’t have…”
I cut him off knowing where this is going. “My treat.”
He sighs. “Okay. I owe you.” The defeat in his tone is tangible.
Yeah, he does but that’s neith
er here nor there. He needs time to get back on his feet. “I’ll meet you out front in a few minutes.”
He’s waiting for me as I exit the Mall. Butterflies float around in my stomach as I drink him in. He’s got that smoldering thing going on, and for the second time today the word bad boy is written all over him. I mustn’t be the only one experiencing this weird connection because I can see him visibly swallow as he watches me walk toward him. My fingers trail across my wrist before I trace over the word Hope written in black script. To anyone it would seem as though I was just rubbing a tattoo, but I can feel the raised skin, the scar.
“Do you have anywhere you’d like to go?” I ask as I reach him. No matter how mad I am, I can’t stop trying to put him first. Right now, I want a Chicken Tikka Sub, but I have no idea if he even likes Subs.
He shrugs. “I’m not sure, can we wander until we find something?”
Nodding I give him a small smile, but I’m wondering where my anger has disappeared to. “You'll be spoiled with choices.”
He gives me his million dollar smile. I can’t keep up with him. His mood swings are giving me whiplash. “Lead the way.” He motions for me to walk ahead, I don’t understand why he does that, why not walk beside me?
We walk around the food court and his gaze is darting around without purpose; he doesn’t seem as though he’s interested in anything. My eyes keep drifting back to Subway; the smell of freshly cooked bread always gets me. “How about here? It smells good.” I’m actually in shock as he points toward Subway.
“Sure, if that’s what you want.” I don’t give him the chance to change his mind. I practically run into the store as he chuckles behind me. Turning around, I narrow my eyes at him. “What’s so funny?”
He holds his hands up in surrender. “Nothing.”
“Good.”
He winks at me, and I just about catch the whimper that was about to leave my lips. Coughing, trying to compose myself. God, I don’t want to sound like a simpering idiot. “Do you know what you’d like?”
The raw desire in his eyes as he stares at me tells me that he does. “I’ll have whatever you’re having.”
“Take a seat and I’ll order.” I need to get some composure. Right now, I’m confused and bewildered by him. I’m frightened to even ask how it went with the parole officer in fear that my head will be bitten off.
“Did you get what you needed?” He asks as I take a seat.
“Some of what I needed, I guess I wasn’t in the mood for shopping after all.” I hand him his Sub and coffee. The smell of the food has my mouth watering, and it’s a wonder that I’ve not started to dribble.
“Yeah about that. I’m sorry. I’m an ass. No, worse than an ass. I shouldn’t have bitten your head off, you’ve been nothing but welcoming and you’ve gone out of your way to do things for me and I’m so fucking grateful. Not that my behavior would show it.” He takes a bite of his sub before chewing quickly. It’s almost as if he’s in a rush to finish it.
“Look, I get that things must be really tough for you. I’m not even going to pretend that I can imagine what you’re going through because I think whatever I imagine it’ll be a hundred times worse than that.” His eyes light up at my words. “But saying that, the way you treated me is something I didn’t deserve.”
“I know. God, I’m so fucking sorry! You don’t understand how much I wish I could undo how I reacted when you asked me if I was nervous, but I can’t. It was a gut reaction, Michelle, I’m sorry.” He’s pleading with me to accept his explanation yet it’s no explanation at all.
“Why did you react that way?” A part of me understands that if he doesn’t answer this, I’m done, he’ll still have his job and a place to live but he’s an employee.
The look in her eyes tells me she’s tired of this. Shit, I’ve fucked this up before it’s even started. One thing’s for sure; I want Michelle, and if that means I have to have a heart to heart with her about what I’m thinking, then so be it. I’ve never been drawn to someone like this before. I have to get to know this woman; I want to know what she loves and what she hates. I want her to open up and reveal her deepest, darkest secrets. I want her to tell me her fears so that I can alleviate them. I'm head over heels for this woman. I think as soon as I met her I was gone. Not only is she fucking gorgeous, but she’s an amazing person. She has a pull on me. I’ve found happiness because whenever I’m around her, it’s as though I’m just a regular guy, she doesn’t see a convict.
“Meeting up with my parole officer reminded me that I’m nothing but a convict, that I’m still playing by the rules, it’s like even though I’ve left prison, nothing has changed. I’m still paying for what I’ve done.” There, it’s out in the open. It still doesn’t excuse my behavior toward her. I was an ass to her, I just couldn’t stop the need to shut the conversation down and shut her out. If I want to have any sort of relationship with her, I need to be honest.
Her eyes widen and fill with sorrow. “Trent, we’ve not known each other that long, but you’ve served your time, you’ve paid for your sins. It’s going to take some time to readjust.” She tilts her head to the side almost as if she’s trying to look deeper inside my soul. “Let me ask you this, do you believe you’ve changed from the man who went into prison?”
“Yes.” I have changed, I’m aware of my capabilities and how dangerous I can be, but at the same time, I now understand when to walk away and when to fight. Do I think I’m a better man than when I went in? That’s yet to be determined. I’ve changed, I’ve become colder than I was, being inside was something that will teach a lot of people life skills. It taught me how to survive.
“Then that’s all that matters, so what if you have to go and see your parole officer? It just means you’re getting adjusted.” Her fucking smile, it’s one of those that is infectious, that you can’t help but smile back. Not only that, she has a smile that takes her beauty from understated to a fucking goddess, I want to make her smile all the time. I’m screwed. “I know what you need!”
I smirk at her. “Oh yeah and what’s that?”
Her face flushes as she realizes what I’m getting at. “You need a movie-a-thon.”
“I’m sorry a what? What’s that?”
She rolls her eyes at me. “It’s a movie marathon.” I must look skeptical because she reaches over and grabs my hand, sending a current to surge through my body. “Trust me, this is the perfect thing! Oh, we’ll do it tonight!”
I love how carried away she’s getting, so excited about watching movies. There is no way I’m turning down an opportunity to spend the evening with her. “What type of movies?” Shit, what if she’s into romantic shit? I can’t stand them. I’ll be bored out of my damn mind.
“Oh, I have all the Fast and Furious’ movies and I was thinking maybe the Taken Trilogy? Liam Neeson is amazing in those, but if you’d prefer something else, I can get them?” So far, she’s managed to amaze me. “No they sound good. Count me in.” I take a bite of my Sub and the taste of the sauce hits me at the back of my throat, spicy, shit! It’s been a while since I ate anything remotely spicy. I wait and see if it burns but it doesn’t, in fact it’s quite nice.
A strand of her hair falls and she pushes it behind her ear. “Dinner and movies?” Her face bright red as she asks.
Hell fucking yes! I want to smile, but instead I play it cool. “Yeah, want me to cook?” My eyes widen as she looks like she’s contemplating saying yes. I take the last bite of my Sub and wish I had more, it’s something I never used to eat but it’s delicious and I’ll definitely be getting more of them.
She starts laughing. “No, I’ll sort dinner out, judging by your face we’d be eating bread?”
“Yeah that about sums up my cooking skills.”
Shaking her head, her hair flying around, she seems happy today, well happier than earlier on when I was an asshole. “I’ll get Ethel and Agnes to teach you.”
“No thank you, I’ll be fine.” I try my best not to sound
horrified. As much as Mrs. Ethington is nice, and I think she likes me, I wouldn’t be comfortable getting cooking lessons from her.
“Oh wow, you don’t need to be scared. Their barks are worse than their bites and when they’re together they encourage each other, they can be quite overwhelming sometimes but most of the time they’re wonderful.” I was right, she loves these people. They’re her family. She finishes her sub and waits for me to finish my drink. “Ready?”
“Sure.” I can feel her eyes on me as I take the rubbish and throw it into the trash, turning around I wink at her, she tilts her head to the side, that magnificent smile on her face. “Do you need to get anything else while we’re here?” I ask as I reach her, I take the bag she has out of her hand and we start to walk side by side.
“No, I’m done. We’ll go home.”
Home? That’s something I’ve not thought about for a while, funnily enough, I thought home would be with my family. I know now that’s never going to be the case.
The cell phone rings and I stare at it, Michelle is calling me. It took me ten fucking minutes earlier on to try to find out where the contact list was. I felt stupid especially when I see kids using phones like they’ve been doing it since the day they were born. I answer it with ease, maybe I’m not as stupid as I thought when it comes to technology, then again it had a green button that you swipe across the screen. “Hello.”
“Hey, you, you still okay for dinner and movies?” She sounds as though she’s been crying, I wonder what’s happened.
“Yeah, if that’s still okay?”
“Of course it is, want to come over whenever you’re ready? I’m too tired to cook, we’ll get pizza,” she says quietly, it’s been over six hours since we came home, what could have happened in those six hours to make her upset and tired?
“I’m ready whenever, just give me a time and I’ll be there.”
“You can come over now. I must warn you though, I’m wearing sweats.” She laughs, but the underlying fear is clear in her voice, she’s worried that I’ll find her ugly in sweats when that’s the farthest thing from the truth, I have no doubt she’s beautiful no matter what.
Finding Home Page 4
