I nod. That sick fucking bastard was going to take Bryson too? I’m glad that asshole is dead, he’s fucking lucky. “Bryson,” I say in a low, dangerous voice. Who the fuck picks on women and kids? In prison, men like that would be shanked on sight.
“Christ,” Peter bites out. “What the fuck did he want with him? Do you think…” He trails off, not wanting to voice that question.
“No,” I say vehemently. “From what I’ve been told, Maggie kept her relationship separate from her personal life, all Bryson knew was that Riccardo was their neighbor. But Maggie needs to be told what you’ve found.” I hope to fuck that Heller takes on that task. This is the last thing that Michelle needs right now. She’s going to freak when she hears that Ric took some of her shit along with some of Bryson’s.
“I’ll talk to Ms. Whitley and inform her of this new development. That asshole was deranged. Thankfully he didn’t get a chance to do what he had planned for them both,” Heller grits out, pissed like the rest of us that Riccardo managed to get so fucking close to everyone. So close that he didn’t raise any suspicion about his creepy ass behavior.
“Michelle’s not been doing great since that asshole had her, she’s finally starting to improve and this could send her falling, along with that bitch of a mother of hers coming to stay here when she’s released from hospital,” I tell them, and they both glance at each other. “What?”
It’s Peter that speaks first. “I’ve been worried about her, you two hadn’t been together since she came out of hospital and…”
I cut him off before he can say anything else. “Yeah, I was an asshole. I didn’t understand how to handle her. I fucked up, and I’m making it right now.”
Relief washes over his expression. He really needs to sort out his poker face. “Good, and why the hell is that bitch coming to stay here?”
“Sebastian asked her if she could stay?” Heller asks, and I nod, this man knows way too fucking much about everything. “Yeah that boy doesn’t understand the ramifications it could have, he wants his family together and happy.”
“That’s never going to happen, not after Claire told Michelle she was jealous of what Eddie was doing to her,” I inform them and watch as their faces morph into disgust. “Michelle and her mother’s relationship is beyond repair. The sooner she gets better, the sooner she gets the fuck out of Michelle’s life.”
“Fuck, that woman is sick, she doesn’t deserve to be called a mother,” Heller says in disgust. “I’ll be keeping my eye on her, she’ll also be paying rent while she’s here, she’s taken enough money off Michelle, and she won’t be doing it any fucking longer.”
Peter lets out a low whistle. “Damn, I’d hate to be on the wrong side of you.”
I laugh. “You’re only figuring that out now?” Heller’s the type of guy that would slit your throat and walk away with a smile, suspicion would never be on him as he’s a chameleon.
Heller rolls his eyes. “Pray that you never are. Now I’ve got to go and talk to Ms. Whitley.”
“Yeah, I don’t envy you at all man,” I say as he walks out the door, who wants to be the one to tell a mom that her child could have been kidnapped?
“I actually wanted to have a word,” I tell Peter once Heller leaves. He doesn’t say anything, just waits for me to continue. “When Michelle’s ready to start leasing again, I’d prefer the potential renter to be fully checked out, to do that, where do I go?”
Peter smiles. “The man who’s just left will help you out, he may be shady, Trent, but he’s your ally, use him wisely.”
“Fucking cryptic bullshit.”
He starts laughing “I’d better go too, I’ve got to head back to Augusta. Trent, it’s been a pleasure. Hopefully, the next time we meet, it will be under better circumstances. Look after Mom for me,” he says as he sticks out his hand for me to shake.
Shaking his hand, I answer, “you don’t even need to ask. Have a safe drive home.” I give him a smile, it’s time for me to go back to Michelle.
Leaving my apartment, I walk back into Michelle’s being as quiet as I can, but there’s no need, she’s wide awake and sitting in the sitting room waiting for me. Shit, this isn’t how I wanted to tell her.
I wake in a panic, my eyes closed. I keep still and listen, trying to see what’s different. It’s quiet… a little too quiet. My eyes pop open, where’s Trent? My apartment door closes, and my heart starts beating faster, where’s he going? Did he wait for me to fall asleep so he can sneak out? Ugh, my head’s a mess, I should be happy. Trent and I did something that I never thought I would ever do, I felt things I never thought possible, reached heights, I never knew existed. I get that he’s angry that my mom’s coming to stay here but I thought he understood why I said yes to Sebastian’s question.
A deep voice startles me, Heller’s here, what the hell is happening? Climbing out of bed, I put on some clothes. I’m no longer happy and sated, instead I’m on edge and nervous. Whatever’s happening can’t be good. There’s no way Trent would leave me alone after what we had just experienced unless it was something urgent. I throw on my sweatpants and my oversized sweater, these are my comfort clothes, I wear these most of the time, but as I’m stressed they’re all that I want to wear. The damned pill bottle sitting on the bedside table is calling to me, remembering what Trent said about how taking the tablets shouldn’t matter to anyone. I do what I should have been doing since I came home from hospital, I take them.
Walking into the sitting room, the sound of feet pounding down the staircase gets my attention, instead of ignoring it and turning the TV on, I do the stupid thing of rushing over to the door. I peek through the peephole to see who the hell is running down the stairs. My heart sinks when I see it’s Peter, to make things worse, he walks straight into Trent’s apartment. Shit, this definitely isn’t good. I don’t want there to be anything else happening, I’ve had enough bad shit happen to last me a damn lifetime, I honestly don’t think I can take any more hits, I’m barely coping as it is.
My feet move to the sofa and I’m in such a panic that I have no idea what I’m going to do. Part of me wants to march over to Trent’s apartment and demand to know what’s going on, the other part of me wants to crawl back into bed and pretend that everything is okay. I don’t do either. Instead, I sit on the sofa and stare at the door. I have no idea how this is going to help me, the last thing I need is to sit in silence with only my thoughts.
Yet here I sit, quiet as can be as I want to see if I can hear anything. I don’t, it’s completely silent. What the hell are they talking about? My anxiety skyrockets. I’m struggling to keep my heartrate down. My mind is racing with thoughts, are they talking about Ric? What if Trent’s telling them that I killed Eddie? He wouldn’t do that, would he? No, he wouldn’t, I trust him implicitly, I trust him more than I trust myself. Pulling my knees up onto the sofa, I pull my sweater down over them and wait. Ten minutes turn into twenty. I want to cry, I have no idea what is happening, and it scares me.
Thirty minutes later, Trent’s apartment door opens. Good, they must be finished. Will Trent come back here? Or will he stay in his apartment? I’m a nervous wreck, and I hate myself for being so stupid. I should have gone over there and found out myself what the hell was happening, instead of being a coward and waiting here. Footsteps pound up the stairs, and Peter must be on his way back up, he’s leaving today to go back to Augusta. I’m going to miss having him here. It had been a while since I last saw him. Whenever he’d visit he’d always put me at ease. There’s nothing threatening about him, and I liked that.
My mouth dries when I hear the apartment door open again, this time there’s more footsteps going upstairs. I’m utterly confused. I thought Peter already went upstairs, when my apartment door opens, my heart sinks when I look at Trent, anger written all over him, and all that goes through my head is what the hell has happened? He closes the door behind him, his face like thunder. I lick my lips trying to get the dryness away as I watch him walks
up to me.
“Baby…” It’s a tortured whisper, and I’m dreading what’s to come. “Heller’s men found Ric’s hideout.”
“Hideout?” I squeak.
He kneels down in front of me. “He had a house about an hour away from here, they found some things.” His voice is hoarse. “The things you noticed were missing, he had them. He had a room for you.”
“Why? What did he want from me?” My blood runs cold as an icy chill settles over my body.
“We’re not sure baby, I have an idea, but this is just an idea, we may never find out the truth.” He sounds hesitant, and I don’t like it. “I believe that he wanted to kidnap you, he wanted to keep you and make you his. I believe he wanted to make an instant family.”
“Instant family?” It’s barely a whisper.
“Yeah, baby,” he whispers back. “He had some of Bryson’s toys in that house too.”
“He wanted Bryson?” I can’t keep the shock out of my voice. I want to cry so badly.
“Yeah baby, Heller’s talking to Maggie now. He wanted to tell her what’s happened.” His eyes close in despair.
“Who does that? Why would anyone do that?” I’m disgusted, I can’t believe that anyone would try and take a child; would even come up with that idea. It’s sick. “What did I do to make him hate me so much?”
“He was sick baby. This is nothing to do with who you are or what you’ve done.” He takes my hands and squeezes them. “Baby, he didn’t hate you, he was fixated on you. He wanted you to feel the same way.”
I can’t control the tears. “I’m sorry.” I’ve caused so much drama, so much pain.
“No baby, don’t apologize. You have nothing to be sorry about.” He gets to his feet and lifts me into his arms. “Baby, don’t.” His voice has a sharp tone.
“What?”
“Take those thoughts out of your head,” he demands. “You haven’t caused this.” He sits down on the sofa, me still in his arms.
“Trent,” I whisper. “I did, if it wasn’t for me, none of this would have happened.” My tears are falling thick and fast. “He wouldn’t have hurt Mom or Sebastian if I hadn’t have killed Eddie.”
“Baby stop!” He growls at me, his voice deep and husky. “That asshole needed stopping, and you happened to be the only person who was able to stop him. That doesn’t make you a bad person or mean you have to pay for it. You’ve paid enough!”
“Trent, but he’s dead.”
“He’s lucky he fucking is. Baby, if that man was alive today, I would hunt that motherfucker down and slit his throat. I would walk away with a smile on my face with the belief that I saved another girl from going through the pain you did.” He rubs his hand down my back, I’m not sure if it’s to soothe him or me.
“Trent, because of what I did, two men are dead and my dad’s in prison.” My guilt is hitting me hard. Just as I knew it would, but it doesn’t have me in a vise grip. Having Trent here is helping me keep it somewhat at bay.
“Yeah baby, two grown ass men are dead, not because of you, but because of their actions. Eddie died because he put you in a position you had no way out of except pulling that trigger. Riccardo’s dead because he went crazy, he lost his damn mind and wouldn’t listen to Peter when he told him to put the damn knife down. As for your father, he is a grown man. It was his choice to go to prison and his choice alone.”
“Why though? I don’t get why he did it, why any of them did what they did. What did they hope to achieve from it?” I ask the question that’s been plaguing me since Dad took the blame.
Trent’s quiet for a few moments, his hand is still rubbing my back. “Baby, people like Eddie, they like to control people, and the only people they can control are those weaker than them, and you being a naive teenager was exactly what he wanted.”
When he says it like that, it makes me feel stupid, like maybe there was something I could have done to stop him.
“Nope, get the fuck out of your head,” he growls, causing me to jump. “I’m telling you now baby, there wasn’t a thing you could have done to stop that bastard. Your mom on the other hand, she’s a whole other story!” He’s still growling at me.
“How do you do that? How are you in my thoughts?”
That smirk he loves to wear is back on his face. “I know you baby, plus, you get this darkness in your eyes when you’re in your head, I have to pull you out of those thoughts.”
I shake my head, he’s reading me so well, and I can’t decide if I like it or if I find it unnerving?
“As for that asshole Ric, he too liked his control. See how he went for a single mom? Yeah, he thought Maggie would be an easy target but he was wrong. He knew you were hurting and vulnerable, it’s why he tried to get close to you. He tried to worm his way into your life, he wanted to get close to you, so much so that you would rely on him, so he could take advantage of you.” His eyes bore into mine, like he’s trying to get into my mind.
“Like how much I rely on you?” It’s out before I can even stop myself.
“Baby, you rely on me because I’m your partner, because you’re my equal. You rely on me as much as I rely on you, it’s what people do when they’re in love. It’s what they do when they’re in a relationship. I will never take advantage of you, I don’t want to own you…” He winks at me. “Well not in that way I don’t, I want to see you succeed in every way possible. I want you to be happy, and if that means without me then so be it.”
The tears that were falling, fall harder. “God, you know the right things to say to me, I love you so much Trent. I never thought I’d be happy. Not after what happened, but you showed me that it’s okay to be happy, that it’s okay to be flawed. That I’m not crazy, that there’s more to me than the woman who takes tablets because she’s tried to kill herself. That those moments I had when I was utterly alone don’t define me.” I give him a watery smile, glad that I found him, even if finding him was my dad’s doing.
“Baby…fuck, stop crying. You’re not flawed, you’re not crazy, and you decide what defines you. I love you more and more each fucking day. You consume my every thought, and that’s the way I want it. You’re my priority, and I’m never going to let something happen to you ever again,” he vows, he’s still angry that I went willingly to Ric, especially when all I should have done was call him, Peter, or Heller, and they would have helped me. “Baby, you’re fucking magnificent, and anyone who thinks otherwise needs their fucking eyes tested.”
I laugh. He’s so eloquent, but he makes me feel special and makes me see myself in a way I never have before. He makes me want to love myself. “You’re magnificent too.”
He rains kisses on my face before pulling back and smiling. “There’s my girl,” he says quietly, and I’m wondering what the hell he’s talking about? I’ve been here all along. “I can see her in your eyes. She’s trying to wade through all the sadness.”
It hits me, he’s caught a glimpse of the happy me. “You make me whole.”
“Christ,” he curses. “Baby, hearing those words,” He shakes his head, almost as though he can’t find the words to say. “They mean more to me than you telling me that you love me.”
I smile, he gets me, he gets me so much. Me telling him that he makes me whole is more than me telling him that I love him, it’s more than me telling him I want to spend the rest of my life with him. It’s me telling him that when I’m with him, those dark thoughts aren’t as prominent, they’re still there but I can fight them back, that with him, I can fight anything. He gets that, and I love him even more for understanding it.
He leans his head against me, his chest rising and falling heavily. He’s silent, and I let him be, whatever he’s mulling over, he needs time to process.
Lifting his head, he stares directly into my eyes. “About your dad, baby, I don’t understand his reasoning for taking the blame and going to prison. Maybe he wanted to protect you, but then again, why didn’t he beforehand? There’s only one way you’re going to find out
for sure.”
He’s going to tell me that I need to see him, and I’m not sure I’m ready for it. Then again, I never believed I’d fall in love or have sex with anyone, and yet I have.
“You need to ask him baby. Have you thought about visiting him?” His question only makes me wonder if he wants to visit my dad. When Trent was in prison they were close, but he’s not mentioned anything since he found out what had happened. “Baby?”
I shake my head. “I haven’t. I’m not sure I’m ready for it. Have you thought about visiting him?”
“Yeah baby, I want to but I don’t want to hurt you by doing so.” His eyes search my face like he’s trying to gauge my reaction but I won’t give him one. “He’s my friend, he was with me through my tough times and there for me when I needed someone. I owe him, not only for that but for finding you too. Without him, I wouldn’t be here.”
“I would never begrudge you going to see him.” I reach up and cup his face, the feel of his five o’clock shadow rough against the palms of my hands. “He’d love to see you, Trent.”
He kisses my lips, hard and fast. “Baby, you’re an enigma. You amaze me all the time.”
“I just don’t see the point in making a fuss about you seeing Dad. You’re not forcing me to see him and I won’t have to go with you unless I want to.”
He smiles, his face lighting up as he does so, I notice the bags under his eyes and his lids are heavy, like he hasn’t slept properly. That’s down to me and how I’ve been acting recently but hopefully, I’m on the right track and the both of us can sleep properly.
“What about you, what are you going to do about your family?” I ask. He’s hurting over the whole situation but he’s trying his hardest not to let on.
“I have no fucking idea what I’m going to do about it.” A long, low sigh escapes him, when he glances at me I see his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows.
“Maybe, we should take them all out for dinner. With it being on neutral ground and me there for support, it could help. If not, maybe you should ask Tina if you could spend some time with Mark.” My hands still cupping his face, I lean forward and kiss his cheeks.
Finding Home Page 24
