Second Chance Christmas--A Clean Romance

by Rula Sinara

  “No problem. I just wanted to be clear that I’m still on schedule for the grant deadline and still interested in the tenure track position.”

  “Got it. You take care. I’ll see you when you’re back.” Farthan hung up quickly. The man needed to busy himself with research more and spend less time on bureaucracy. Why did his email and tone make her feel harassed even without him doing so directly?

  She tossed her phone aside. Even though she’d put in for vacation time, she’d originally planned to still pop back into the lab during her time off, if Caden and his dad hit it off and wanted to spend time together, but now that she was here in Turtleback and had seen Caden’s reaction to meeting his father, she couldn’t imagine leaving him alone with Damon, even for a few days. If things got complicated and she ended up having to extend her absence beyond what had been approved, she’d be out of the running for sure. Why was it that women were forced to juggle family and career in a way most men didn’t understand? There were exceptions, of course, just not that often.

  She glanced at her watch and jumped up. They’d all be done with breakfast by now. She had escaped, giving the excuse that she had to check mail, because Damon had left her frazzled. Maybe all the sugar in the strawberry shortcake—or seacake or whatever it was called—had gotten to her, but all her senses had fired up. The taste of strawberries and cream that transported her back to high school, the way he studied her as she ate, his freshly showered scent and, most of all, the way his hand accidentally brushed hers when they both reached for a napkin...and his talk of fear and survival. It had all been too much. Too engulfing. Dangerous. Coming upstairs had been an act of survival all right, but now she had to go back down and steel herself against all the emotions he triggered.

  You’re not naive anymore, Zuri. You swore you’d never put your heart on the line again. Don’t let him get to you. He’s just being nice because of Caden.

  Besides, was he seriously trying to say that he had left her mortified and humiliated in front of other students because he had been afraid of her liking him? What in the world? What kind of convoluted excuse was that? Did men ever make sense?

  It didn’t matter, really. She was here and she had a mission. Her nephew was the focus, not her. Her mother’s exchange with Damon’s mother, Mary, at the funeral came back to her.

  “Caden’s our priority now. We have to make sure he’ll be okay.”

  “Absolutely,” Damon’s mom had replied. “Please let me know if you need anything. If there’s any way I can help.”

  Funny how it always seemed to take death to get their parents to act kindly toward one another, even if temporarily. Even if they were just being polite and sympathetic. Their dads were better at putting the past behind them—but their moms and the ongoing judgmental and defensive attitude between them that had grown from when their kids were in grade school had really hit a peak when they sat on opposite sides of a table trying to negotiate a settlement.

  That “unforgivable” lawsuit that pitted his mom against hers had taken Mary’s judgment of Lucia’s parenting skills to a whole new level. Lucia took her oath not to harm and her career as a doctor beyond seriously. It had been an attack on her morality and character. Lucia still hadn’t let it go, even if she’d gotten an apology and explanation as to why the case had been taken on and how it wasn’t meant to be anything personal.

  Despite all of it, Damon’s parents had appeared at Vera’s funeral, separately due to their divorce, to pay respects, just as her parents had when the Woods family had lost Lucas. Everyone had been civil, too, because for some incomprehensible reason it always seems to take tragedy to bring people together in this world.

  When asked about their grown children, Zuri had overheard Damon’s mom mentioning that he now lived on a beach in North Carolina. Tracking him down after that had been easy after she heard the Outer Banks mentioned and Zuri had known immediately that she had to confront Damon for Caden’s sake. For Damon’s, too.

  And she knew it would be difficult, but she never quite imagined just how hard being near him would be. Seeing him again made everything surface, from the wishful thinking and longing she felt when she tutored him in high school, to the bitterness and disillusionment she felt when he took her sister to prom—just to rub in the fact that Zuri wasn’t the hot, with-it Habib sister—and to having the wind knocked out of her when she found out that Vera was pregnant.

  What had she expected? Zuri, the simple, slightly geeky girl who was nothing like the popular, cheerleader types who used to flirt with him constantly. She had been dreaming. Well, she wasn’t a dreamer anymore. She was a scientist. A PhD. A master of facts and evidence. And she didn’t care what anyone thought of her, least of all, Damon.

  You don’t need to pine over some guy who abandoned your friendship and now spends his days on a beach. The female attention he got in school is probably nothing compared to the bikini babe groupies he probably has during summer vacation. He toyed with you once and he’s at it again.

  She needed to listen to herself. This whole father-son introduction would be over soon, and she and Caden would be getting back to their life in Boston after the holidays. She’d be back at work. The kid needed to get back to school and his therapist appointments whether Damon liked it or not. They’d have a new normal, because routines or not, nothing would ever be the same.

  She got up and went to the mirror that hung over the dresser. She gave herself a quick look over. Don’t care. Don’t care. Don’t—Darn it. She couldn’t help but care a little. She grabbed her lip gloss and coated her lips. It’s just for moisture. Winter air and all. She dabbed her mouth with a tissue. Stop lying to yourself. She let out a huff and pinched her cheeks then fluffed her hair. Enough. It doesn’t matter what he thinks of you. He hates you and Vera for keeping Caden from him. He plans to fight you for custody. Keep your head on, girl.

  When she first confronted him on the beach and told him he was a father, Damon had insisted he wouldn’t be giving up his rights. She wanted him to be a part of the boy’s life, that’s why she was here, but no way was she going to let him take Caden away from her. Summer breaks, maybe, but the school year and everyday life? No way. He didn’t know the kid like she did and she had promised her sister that she would raise Caden. She’d give her own life before breaking that promise to Vera, especially since she had already broken the one about never telling Damon he had a son.

  She tried to head down the stairs quietly, hoping to catch some of the conversation in the living room. She didn’t want to eavesdrop. She just wanted to see how things were going between father and son, but the third step creaked and the fifth step groaned, giving her away.

  Melanie was consolidating all the leftover pastries in one box. Sara was showing Caden a collection of music CDs and it looked like they were picking out all of the holiday tracks. Caden barely looked up when Zuri walked past them on her way to the kitchen. Damon wasn’t around.

  “There you are,” Melanie said. “I wanted to double-check with you about dinner. Damon said you’d be out and that I shouldn’t bother. I realize lunch is usually up to our guests to grab in town, but dinner is included in your stay, you know.”

  “I do. Thank you. But, yes, we’ll be out, so don’t worry about it. Unless you have other guests, of course.”

  “Not today. How about I have lunch ready instead, then? I’ll have sandwiches made and I’ll keep them in the fridge, that way you don’t have to be here at a specific time.”

  “Sounds great, thanks. Um, did he leave? I thought he needed help with his dog.”

  “Oh, he’s still here. He went around the side of the house to carry some wood to the firepit for me. I told him not to, but he never takes no for an answer. Always doing things and helping out, that one.”

  The patio door opened and Damon entered, wiping his hands off on his jeans.

  “All done. Told you it wouldn’t ta
ke long,” he said.

  “Thank you, my dear. You’ll have to actually enjoy a fire with us one of these days.”

  Damon just smiled and seemed relieved that the sudden blare of music set too loud saved him from committing. The cheery beat of “Jingle Bell Rock” filled the place and Sara quickly adjusted the volume to a more enjoyable level. She moved her shoulders and hips to the beat, while Caden stood awkwardly, not daring to move. Zuri suddenly recalled her sister once saying the boy needed dance lessons if he was ever going to survive high school. She’d said it nonchalantly, without realizing she’d inadvertently poked fun at Zuri, too. Zuri had never been a great dancer in high school. She crinkled her nose. Maybe that’s why they’d always gotten along so well.

  “Ready, guys?” Damon asked. Caden shrugged. Poor kid had dancing or Damon to choose from and he clearly wasn’t comfortable with either.

  “Maybe they’d rather stay here and relax on the beach,” Zuri suggested, trying to give her nephew an out. She still thought Damon was moving too fast with Caden.

  “We’re ready!” Sara called out over the music. She skipped toward the door, never questioning whether Caden agreed with her response. He followed her out without bothering to look at Zuri or Damon. Apparently, he was indeed ready to go. As long as Sara was.

  “Are you joining us?” Damon asked.

  “Of course, I am. I’m his aunt. What else would I do?”

  “He’s old enough not to get lost and you can trust he’d be safe with me. You could stroll through town? Shop?”

  “That’s sexist.”

  “What?” Damon gave her a baffled look. “Really? Everyone’s out there shopping for the holidays. I wasn’t trying to imply anything sexist or stereotypical. You’ve never been typical.”

  “Oh?”

  Damon held up a finger and shook his head.

  “That didn’t come out right. What I meant was that you’ve always been smart and accomplished and not materialistic or the kind of person who goes after the latest fad. That’s what I liked about you.”

  Liked about her? He liked that she wasn’t typical? She looked nervously toward Melanie, who kept a straight face as she filled the dishwasher, but Zuri was sure she’d overheard the conversation.

  “I don’t need to shop right now and I know I can trust you with his safety. I mean, that’s what you do every day. Save people and keep them safe. But I’d like to tag along and see what this idea of yours is all about.” She was more worried about Caden’s emotions. Not physical safety.

  “After you,” he said, waving her toward the door. “Catch you later, Melanie. Just text me if there’s anything you need me to pick up before dropping Sara back here.”

  “Will do. You guys have fun,” Melanie said.

  Sara and Caden were drawing designs in the sand along the side of the driveway as they waited. They looked up and tossed their sticks aside.

  “So, are we taking Duck for a walk or what?” Caden asked, in a clipped tone. He dug the toe of his sneaker in the sand and stuffed his hands in his pockets. Zuri could tell he was more interested in spending time with Sara than with adults, but since Sara seemed interested in doing whatever Damon suggested, he was reluctantly going along with it.

  “More than just a walk. I’m going to have you two help with a training session and you’ll get a tour of our ORBP headquarters. Ocean Rescue and Beach Patrol,” Damon said.

  “Way cool,” Sara said.

  “You guys hop in and we’ll stop at my place to get Duck. We can walk to the station from there.” He opened the passenger front and back doors of his red pickup truck and waited for Zuri to climb up front and the kids to get in the back. He’d caught her off guard with the chivalry. It was nice, but she just wasn’t used to it. If anything, up in Boston at the university, she made a point of opening her own doors and not expecting anything from male colleagues, just because she felt the need to show that she could pull her own. She didn’t want to give anyone a reason to act put out or condescending.

  But somehow Damon opening the truck doors was different. He did it so casually and unassumingly. Something about that made her feel cared for and respected. She didn’t really recall him being that chivalrous when he was younger. She was getting glimpses of the Damon who’d trained in the navy and had served on one of their elite teams. She was informed enough to know a person didn’t go through all that and not come out changed.

  A part of her wondered why he had quit. Was he injured? Not all injuries showed. Invisible things like PTSD and depression could eat away at someone from the inside, much like the cancer that had taken Vera. No one could see it until it was too late.

  Damon revved the engine, backed out and headed from where the bed-and-breakfast stood on the north edge of the town, not far from a black-and-white lighthouse and a few other beach houses, and drove them down the only road that led through Turtleback. The distance was walkable, maybe within five or ten minutes, but there was still a chill in the air and he needed to get his truck back to his place on the south side of town. Zuri couldn’t think of anything to say and was glad that, instead, Damon played tour guide by pointing out the beach town’s main attractions.

  The main street of town was lined with shops that looked like colorful rows of small cottages raised on short stilts and connected by wooden walkways and a boardwalk. He pointed out The Saltwater Sweetery bakery, where he’d gotten the pastries they’d enjoyed, a yoga studio with a law office above it, a gift shop and a used bookstore called Castaway Books. The town ended with a boardwalk restaurant that overlooked the beach. Every shop had holiday lights and wreaths on their windows and doors and, though Zuri was sure it was probably much busier in the summer, there were plenty of townsfolk bustling along the walkway and ducking into shops.

  Holiday shopping. Christmas. Her chest ached and tears stung the rims of her eyes. She hated how her eyes would sting every single time she thought of her sister being gone. It would be their first Christmas without her. Caden’s first without his mom. Zuri had promised her parents they’d visit closer to New Year’s, but she had decided Christmas would be too much for Caden. She had worried that her parents would spend their visit breaking out in tears or upset, which would in turn only depress Caden more. At least here things were new and distracting—an understatement for meeting his father for the first time.

  “You might want to take Caden to Castaway Books at some point, Sara. Maybe when Laddie’s there for reading time.” He glanced over his shoulder at Caden. “Laddie’s the town veterinarian’s rough collie. Gray Zale is a friend of mine and his dog loves sitting with kids during reading time. The reading time is geared for younger kids, but I’m betting you’d like Laddie. Great dog.” Damon passed the town and drove down a back road that ran parallel to the beach. When Zuri and Caden had gone to Damon’s place for dinner, they’d simply walked down the beach from the B and B. This road, she assumed, would lead up to the front of his place. They passed a yellow cottage with a blue door and one that was white with a fenced yard, before coming to Damon’s weathered, gray house.

  “All right. Give me a sec and I’ll bring Duck out. Just take that path along the side of the house and I’ll meet you on the beach.”

  They all exited the truck and started for the path he’d pointed out, which was merely a break in the tall reed grasses that grew in clumps along the dunes that separated his home and the road from the beach.

  “Come on,” Zuri said, leading the way. Sara and Caden ran ahead of her and disappeared beyond the reeds. She was so glad he was making a friend here. His therapist always made a point of asking whether he was still hanging out with classmates at school or on weekends. Friends mattered and provided a support system, and Caden had the few he hung out with at school, but weekends hadn’t been getting any easier. He tended to hole up in his bedroom not wanting to do anything but read all day. He hadn’t even bothered to pract
ice his piano in the past few weeks and that had been something he loved. Thirteen or not, a cell phone might have helped him stay connected through texts. Although that went against everything she’d read about phones, social media, and increased anxiety and depression in teens. Man, she had a newfound appreciation for all her parents—and other parents including Damon’s—went through to raise a family. No college degree could really prep a person for that.

  A gust of wind met her head-on, as if to jolt her out of her worries. She inhaled deeply and cleared the top of the low sand dune. Damon was already closing his back-patio door behind him as Duck bounded down the wooden steps leading off his deck. Zuri stiffened and stood still. That much she’d learned about dogs and being chased. Duck ran toward the kids, who were picking up shells. Damon let out a whistle and Duck stopped obediently in her tracks, looked back at him, then at Caden and Sara. Ah, choices. Distractions.

  “I think she’s shifting loyalties,” Zuri called out.

  “She’s got her priorities,” Damon said, as he came down the steps. “Go on, Duck.” The dog, relieved that she didn’t have to choose, ran over to the kids. “See that brown-and-beige house with the red flag? That’s where we’re headed,” Damon called out to the kids. Zuri headed in the same direction and he joined her.

  “He doesn’t seem as upset today,” Damon said, slowing his pace slightly so that they wouldn’t be in earshot.

  Zuri shook her head and put her hands in her pockets when the back of his hand accidentally brushed hers. He didn’t seem to notice.

  “You don’t see it. I do. Sara is a distraction, but she won’t be around all the time. You weren’t there last night when he couldn’t get to sleep. His world has been torn apart, Damon. I was hoping that meeting you would give him hope or some comfort in the fact that if something happened to me, he wouldn’t be alone. Of course my parents adore him but they’re always so busy. I’m not so sure coming here was the best idea. At least not yet. Maybe he wasn’t ready.”