“So, the preppy finally made his move?” he asked, not sounding surprised at all. “I wondered how long it would take. He told me about his feelings for you from the beginning.”
“He did?” I asked, completely confused and shocked by this. “So wait, you knew? What exactly did he say?” I turned to look at him and he was grinning.
“Just what I said. He declared his feelings for you and there was mention of kicking my ass if I ever hurt you. He did right by that promise. I had a black eye for weeks. And what about you? How do you feel about him?” He asked it so bluntly that it caught me off guard.
“I don’t know.” It was an honest answer, and a few months ago it would have been easy to answer. Now it was all mixed up and complicated. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.” I looked down at my hands, but Tru tilted my face up to look at him.
“Never be sorry for being honest.” He smiled down at me and it made me feel a little at ease.
“Thank you.” I whispered.
We rode along in comfortable silence, and every once in a while Tru would point out some cool part of the park or tell me some interesting fact about its creation, but he wasn’t done after the ride. He had one more stop on our tour. We stood in front of the elevator doors of the Empire State Building, but I couldn’t make my feet go on.
“Fun fact. I am terrified of heights and I don’t think I can do this,” I said, as I looked down at my firmly planted feet. “The doors are beautiful though.”
“I’m glad you can admire the art deco doors, but trust me when I say the view at the top is worth the racing heart to the top.” He looked so hopeful and I hated the thought of letting him down, but I wasn’t sure I could keep from fainting if we did this.
“I don’t know Tru. I practically have to be sedated to fly,” I argued, but he was done talking. He took my trembling hand and squeezed it tight until we were in the elevator with a group of people who were now all aware of my extreme fear of heights. Before I could protest the doors closed, but Tru pulled me close and wrapped his arms around me. I was hidden in his chest and had no intention of moving until the ride was over.
“Don’t worry,” he whispered. “Just wait until you see.” Once we reached the top he waited until the elevator emptied out then he pulled away a little, keeping his arms around me. He gently nudged me out and onto the observation deck. I gasped once I saw the lights and with shaky knees I stepped out a little more. “See? Beautiful. I’ll never get bored of this view.”
“It’s amazing,” I said. He held me close as we took baby steps, but I was too afraid to get close to the cage that kept us from toppling to our death. We found a little bench that was a tiny bit secluded from the rest of the tourists and sat down. “Thank you for making me do this. It really is beautiful up here. All the lights...I could look at this forever,” I said as I gazed out at all of the buildings that were lit up. I looked over and Tru’s gaze was fixed on me.
“So could I,” he whispered, and as my heart raced he leaned in and pressed his lips to mine, but before he could kiss me I jumped up, accidentally bumping into someone who was walking past.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” I apologized to the stranger. I looked at Tru who was running a hand through his hair. He looked disappointed, but not upset. He stood up and stuffed his hands in his pockets.
“Come on. Let’s get you home,” he said and we rode all the way down in silence. I didn’t know what to do once we were standing in front of aunt Haley’s, but Tru had some things to say. “So, the preppy wins,” he said with a grin.
“No, Tru, it’s not that. No one wins or loses. It’s me. I’m a mess.” I crossed my arms over my chest as I stood on the step.
“Fen, it’s okay. Be honest with yourself, even if you can’t be honest with me. I’m not mad. This has been the best post holiday I have ever had, and I wouldn’t change it. Okay, maybe I would change one tiny thing,” he said, pinching the air with his fingers. “I’ll take what I can get and this was better than expected. Good night Fen,” he said, kissing the top of my head before he rode off.
I walked into the apartment and found my aunt eating carrot cake at the kitchen island. She handed me a fork and I joined her.
“I saw Hunter’s face. The moment Tru kissed me I saw Hunter.” My aunt raised her eyebrow at me. “That has to be a sign.”
“Tru tried to kiss you and you pictured Hunter? Yeah, I’d say that’s a sign. You know, there’s an old superstition. Anyone you spend New Year’s with is the person you’ll be with forever,” she said with a mouth full of cream cheese frosting. I looked at her, confused by why she would say that, then it dawned on me. I was supposed to spend New Year with Hunter. “I’m pretty sure we can arrange to have you home in time.”
“No, I came here to hang out with you,” I insisted, but she wasn’t having it. “I mean, you’re eating cake, which is super unlike you, so something must be wrong.”
“Nothing is wrong,” she said, pointing her fork at me. “Stop trying to change the subject. I’m eating cake because I like to treat myself sometimes. You have a few days. Just let it simmer in your brain. Besides, I got us tickets to a show tomorrow, so you can’t go until after. We get to play dress up again and sit in fancy box seats.”
“Okay, that actually sounds pretty cool,” I said, taking another bite of the cake. “Thanks for the cake and the talk. I’m gonna head to bed.”
That night all I could see was Hunter’s face when I closed my eyes. I felt guilty for leading Tru on, but I had no idea of how I felt until he tried to kiss me, and it made me realize that I only wanted Hunter’s lips on mine. I wanted to call him and tell him everything, but it seemed like a conversation we should have in person. I picked up the teen romance novel that I brought with me and thought about how Hunter would give me grief for reading it and turned the pages until I couldn’t keep my eyes open.
I woke up the next morning with my face resting on the cover of the book and I could hear noise coming from the kitchen. I walked in to find racks of clothes being brought up in the service elevator and my aunt was going through them as she tried to find something to try on.
“Find something to wear tonight. Then we brunch, then we shop, then we lunch, then we glam.” I marveled at the way she made it all sound so normal.
I looked on the rack and found a black satin dress with a cherry blossom pattern all over. It looked like something a vintage pin up would wear, and Aunt Haley found a daring jacquard pants suit with flowers all over it that was intended to be worn with no shirt. We put our choices aside and got into joggers and messy buns for our day out, which was busy and pleasant. Pleasant enough to keep my mind off of boy trouble. But once we were back at the loft and I was forced to sit still as my hair was being flat ironed, the thoughts filtered back in and I was lost in them.
“Fen!” I looked up at my aunt, who had managed to startle me back to the present. “Did you hear anything I said?”
“Sorry,” I sheepishly apologized as my hair was tugged and pulled then eventually curled into perfect sections. She just rolled her eyes at me and started to repeat what she had said.
“I asked if I should wear stilettos or doc martens?” I looked down at her feet and she was wearing one of each and the winner was obvious. The stilettos complimented her pants suit too well to not be worn.
“Stilettos. Definitely,” I said as I nodded, earning a “tsk” from my stylist. “Oops.” I said.
The evening out was amazing and like everything else when I was with my aunt, it was a fairytale, but something was missing. As I sat, surrounded in our box by New York’s power couples, I knew what I was missing. Hunter. Half way through the second act of the show we were seeing I leaned over and whispered into my aunt’s ear. “I want to go home,” I said. She looked at me and then around us.
“Right now?”
“No, I mean back to Phoenix. Back to Hunter.” I squeezed my eyes shut as I realized how silly it must have sounded to her.
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“Okay, but there isn’t much we can do now. We’ll fix your flight when we get back.” Somehow just knowing that put me at ease and I was able to relax and enjoy the rest of the show. On our way home I asked my aunt something I had never thought to ask.
“Aunt Haley, why aren’t you dating anyone?” She reared back in shock at the question then laughed. “I’m so sorry. That was rude of me.”
“Not at all. It’s just so out of the blue. I have dated and I even got close to getting engaged, but when he popped the question I could not picture myself with him forever. Like, no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t see it. I’m waiting for all the bells and stars and I’m hoping I’ll know it when I see it.” I was completely inexperienced in the dating world, but I knew exactly what she meant. “Too bad Hunter doesn’t have a big brother,” she said with a wink.
We looked at the flights and the only one that was available was on New Year’s Eve wouldn’t get me home until 11:00 pm, but it would have to do. I’d have one more day in the city and then I would be going home and hopefully starting something new with Hunter, but when I saw the papers the next day I wasn’t so sure that would be happening.
My aunt sipped her coffee and handed me a cup of tea before telling me not to freak out, which always made me freak out. She opened the paper and showed me a huge picture of Tru and me getting cozy as we skated. He had his arms around my waist and it looked seriously intimate. There were smaller pictures under it. They had managed to get a picture of us in almost every spot we visited that day and they only printed the most intimate looking ones.
“Are they online too?” I asked, already knowing the answer. She nodded yes and I instinctively picked up my phone to call Hunter. “Come on,” I said as I heard his line ring. I realized it was early there, but Hunter always woke up early. Unlucky for me, his mom and my mom followed the gossip magazines, so there was a great chance he had already seen. “Pick up!” I said to no one as I listened to it ring. It went to voicemail and I ended the call. There was no way a voice mail could sum up what I needed to say. I called my mom next and she teased me when she answered.
“Those papers love you,” she said.
“Mom, has anyone seen?” I sounded as serious as I possibly could, but she laughed.
“I don’t know. Hunter and his mom were over for breakfast and they saw, but no one else. Why? It’s not like everyone does’t already know you have a history with Tru Penn.”
“Is Hunter still there?”
“No sweetie. He left about twenty minutes ago.”
“Gotta go. Love you!” I said, then hit redial on Hunter’s number. “No!” I yelled in frustration. He was definitely ignoring my calls. I tossed my phone onto the bed and groaned in frustration. There wasn’t anything I could do from where I was, so I had to be patient and hope everything was okay when I got home to him.
New Year’s Eve couldn’t come fast enough. I had tried to call a few more times, but the outcome was always the same. He wasn’t answering my calls, but he couldn’t avoid me in person, and I would be on my way to him soon enough.
“I will miss your company and your drama,” my aunt said as she hugged me goodbye.
“I wish I could leave the drama part here with you,” I said.
“Don’t worry. He’ll understand. Just talk to him.” I nodded that I understood then started to walk into the airline terminal.
“I’ll see you at Easter,” I yelled to her before I went through the doors and I practically sprinted through security to get to my flight. I hadn’t told my mom or dad that I was coming home early and as I waited at my gate I wondered if I should. When I called my mom she answered on the first ring. “Hi mom. What are you guys doing?” I asked, casually.
“We are on our way to the cabin. Your father heard reports of snow in Flagstaff, so we are driving up to make sure the pipes don’t freeze,” she said with dripping sarcasm. I could picture her glaring at my dad as she said it. “What about you? What are you up to today?”
“Actually, mom...I’m on my way home. A lot has happened.”
“Oh hon. The stuff with Tru and the papers? Want us to turn around and meet you at home?”
“No. I’m fine and I can just take a shuttle home, so please don’t call anyone to get me. I’ll see you when you get back.”
“We’ll be back in the morning. I’ll call you a little later. Have a safe flight.”
They were finally calling my flight to board and I was a bundle of nerves the entire way home. I felt sorry for the guy sitting next to me while he had to put up with my nervous tapping and knee shaking, but at least he had the window seat to stare out of. I had finally started to relax a little when they announced that we would be preparing for our descent and once we landed I couldn’t get off of the plane fast enough. Luckily, I had only taken a carry on with me so I wouldn’t have to wait for any baggage. I got out to the ride share curb and ordered a car to get me.
I looked at my watch and it was 11:20 pm. Almost the new year. I had planned to go to home first and drop off my bag, but there was no time. I had the driver take me straight to Hunter’s, and when we finally pulled up to his curb I couldn’t make myself move from my seat.
“Is this the right address?” the driver asked.
“Yes, sorry. Yes. Thank you so much,” I said as I grabbed my bag and stood on the sidewalk. It seemed like it had taken forever, but I was finally here. I went to the front door and knocked, but Hunter’s parents answered before I could even finish. They were dressed for a night out.
“Fenley! What a nice surprise!” his mom said as she buttoned up her coat. “We were just getting to a party we’re already late to. Hunter is in his room. He’s been a hermit all break. Maybe you can talk him into celebrating New Year’s. I’m sorry we have to rush off, but make yourself at home.” She gave me air kisses as they ran to their car, not even noticing that I was standing there with my suitcase.
I put it down and closed his front door, then I took my coat off and put it on his couch and went to his bedroom door. I expected to find to closed, but it was cracked open and I could see Hunter on his bed with his back to me. The steady rise and fall of his bare shoulders and back made it obvious that he was sleeping and I didn’t know if I should still knock or just say him name. I ended up doing neither.
He looked so peaceful that I decided to join him. As quietly as I could I crawled into his bed and curled up behind him, resting my head on his back. I could feel his entire body tense up at the intrusion.
“Hey,” I whispered.
“Fen?” he asked, in a groggy and confused voice.
“I have a lot to say and I hope you’ll listen,” I said against his back. I took in a deep breath before I went on. “I saw Tru in New York. It wasn’t planned. I had no idea he would be there and he was just as surprised to see me. I was really happy to see him...to clean the slate and make a good memory with him. We spent a lot of time together,” I said and I felt his entire body go rigid. His breathing wasn’t relaxed anymore. “At first it was just fun. We goofed around all over the city, but something was off, or I was off...” I hesitated before I went on. “Then he kissed me and I knew.” I felt all the muscles in his back tense up like he was bracing himself for something. “I knew the second his lips touched mine that it was wrong. It wasn’t you and it should only be you.” I waited for him to say something and seconds passed that felt like hours. I wondered if I was too late or if my absence had given him time for a change of heart. He turned around and faced me, our noses almost touching and it made me realize how much I missed his face. “You were all I could think about while I was there,” I said as I looked into his eyes.
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” he asked, and I nodded yes. He searched my face again, maybe for any indication that I wasn’t sure, but then a small grin spread across his lips just before he leaned in and pressed them against mine, making me shiver all over. This time his kiss was slow and deliberate, allowing me a momen
t to take in the sweetness of it. And this time he didn’t pull away before I could kiss him back. This time he rolled over slightly so that he hovered above me and he studied my face as his fingertips traced it. “I don’t think you know how happy you’ve made me,” he said with a soft smile, just before leaning in and softly parting my lips with his as our tongues tasted each other. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and squeezed his back muscles with my fingertips and his lips trailed down to my jaw. I didn’t want to let him go or give him the chance to pull away, so I pulled him closer, nudging his lips back up to mine. A little moan escaped my lips as he kissed me and I felt his grip on the blanket under me tighten. He finally did pull away, but just a fraction as he caressed my face and looked into my eyes. He kissed me softly on my forehead then smiled down at me. “It’s always been you Fen. I never wanted anyone else. Just you. I have only ever loved you,” he whispered and I thought my heart would stop. He wiped a tear that had escaped from my eye.
“I love you too Hunter. I always have.” The second the words were out of my mouth his lips were back on mine and we kissed until we were both completely lost in each other.
38.
I had never felt so comfortable and warm in all of my life and as I blinked my eyes open and awake I started to realize where I was. I was trapped between the strongest arms I knew and I could feel his chest behind me and his head resting just above mine. I reached out and traced my fingers along his arm and I felt him shift a little.
“What time is it?” he asked in a groggy voice.
“4:00am. I just realized I never said happy new year.”
“I think we were both a little preoccupied,” he said with a sleepy laugh.
“My aunt said if you spend New Year’s with someone it means you’ll be together forever.”
“Lucky me. I had this intense fear when I woke up. Only for a split second though. I was afraid I would open my eyes and everything would end up being a cruel dream,” he said as he rolled me on my back until I was looking up at him. I smiled, then my eyes doubled in size when I realized I was still at his house and his parents could be home. “What’s wrong?”
Fugly: Book One of the Fenley East Series Page 20
