by S Bolanos
He nodded, but didn’t appear relieved. “After you…after you left, the mutt transitioned back to his human form.”
I jerked with surprise. “Really?”
“It’s normal for werewolves to turn back to their human form when they die.”
“I... I didn’t realize. So, so now we know who it is—was,” I corrected myself.
Michael looked at me with unblinking eyes. “We do.”
Trepidation tightened my chest and quickened breath at the same time a burning need to know ignited inside me. “Who was it?” Michael finally blinked and looked away. “Oh my god, we know them.” When he didn’t answer, I lurched to my feet. “Tell me who it was, Michael.”
Michael slowly pushed his way up to his feet and met gaze once more with the same level of sadness I normally reserved for when a relative died unexpectedly. “It was Ted.”
Shock exploded inside me to fill the hollow space that held nothing for what I'd done.
Ted? Ted? Unassuming, totally bland, totally callous Ted? Who I saw nearly every day, who’d dated my best friend for six months? That Ted?
I swayed on my feet and Michael reached out lightning fast to steady me.
“Sara.” Pain saturated my name as it escaped his lips.
I lifted a hand to my head while my mind reeled with the information and the certainty that it didn’t matter that I’d killed someone I’d known, had met, had talked to. There was just...nothing. No remorse, no pangs of guilt. Nothing.
I reevaluated the hollow place inside with a desperation that bordered on manic, because I should feel something. But no matter how hard I tried, the knowledge that the monster was someone I'd interacted with, made no difference. I still didn’t care. His death meant nothing to me, nor the fact that I’d been the one who’d caused it. I covered my mouth and gasped in horror while tears stung my eyes.
“I know, Sara, it’s an impossible thing to accept.” Michael's arms tightened around me and he rubbed my back. “To think, all of this time he was right there, someone you knew…”
The words flowed like water, but despite all his good intentions, I felt nothing. My horror deepened. He pulled back when I didn’t say anything, confusion stamped on his face.
“Sara, I realize this is hard, but you’ll get through it, I promise.”
I couldn’t take it anymore. My hands came up to forestall the incessant tide of support. “You don’t understand.”
“I probably understand better than you think.” His cajoling tone vanished to be replaced by a seriousness that bordered on expressionless. “Taking a life, any life, is never something that sits easy. It’s perfectly understandable to feel the way you do.”
“But that’s just it,” I said as tears streamed down my face, their heat a stark contrast to the cold spreading inside, “I don’t feel anything.” My words seemed to hit him like a train and my concern escalated. Tremors shook my body as fear took root. “Why don’t I feel anything?”
“You’ve been through a lot…” he began, his voice soft once more.
I cut him off, unable to bear assurances that my total lack of guilt or remorse at taking a life would magically appear. I knew with certainty that it wouldn’t. “Don’t patronize me. I know what I feel and I don’t feel anything. He was rabid. He had to be put down. It was a thing that needed to be done and I did it. Is it shocking that it was Ted the whole time? Yes, but it changes nothing about how I feel.” My tears turned to sobs. “What’s wrong with me? Why doesn’t that bother me?”
Michael’s eyes softened and he tenderly held my face. “Oh, Sara, my love, there’s nothing wrong with you. There are many things in this world that the wolf will always see in black and white, and your survival is one of them. In a kill or be killed situation, why should you feel remorse for defending your life? The wolves in all of us recognized something horribly unnatural about him and the wolf would’ve had no qualms removing that infection from the world.”
“How many things will I not care about anymore?” My voice warbled as I fought back a fresh rush of tears. “Who am I?”
“You’re still you, that hasn’t changed. You were forced into an impossible situation and you made the only choice you could. You fought. You fought for your life, for your friend’s life, for all the women he’s hurt and all the ones he could have. You are the person you have always been and I am so incredibly proud of you.”
I sniffled and looked up at this man who had somehow become my world. His rich brown eyes, like the color of fresh turned earth, shone with an understanding and compassion I wasn’t sure I deserved. And for the first time, the future didn’t scare me.
“I love you,” I said, surprising both of us. He blinked and then a stunning grin spread across his face.
“I love you too.” He sealed the soft statement with a gentle kiss. I breathed in the woodsy scent of him, loving how it was twirled with my own.
“What do we do now?” I asked.
“Now? Now we go home.”
Epilogue
The long drive did little for my nerves. It might not have been so bad if Michael had come with us, but that wasn’t an option for this particular excursion. After being partners for the last few months, it felt strange to be doing something so important without him. At the sound of the blinker, I swiveled to face David.
“Not long now,” he offered and patted my knee.
My focus immediately turned to the window. Lines of trees opened up to reveal a huge swatch of land. There appeared to be an orchard on one side and a forest that refused to be beaten back on the other. And at the end of an obscenely long drive, sat a large plantation-style house.
My gaze slid from the imposing structure to take in the people crowding the expansive lawn. I blanched and shrank back on the seat while David’s hand raised in what proved to be a large series of greetings.
“Who are all of these people? Why are they here?” I didn’t realize I'd asked the question aloud until he answered.
“They’re the pack and they’re here to see you, Sara.”
My eyes widened in alarm as I took in the multitude of faces surrounding us. He chuckled and the reassuring pat turned to a friendly shake.
“They’re curious. We haven’t seen a made-wolf like you in ages, maybe ever. I suspect some of them are here to see if it’s true.”
I swallowed hard and gave a shaky wave to our eager onlookers. No pressure.
The exceptionally grand house boasted three-story pillars, a crisp white finish, and a sense of importance that dominated the landscape. Whispers and shy waves followed us as we exited David’s truck and approached the imposing structure. David pushed open a pair of over-large doors and we stepped into the historic mansion. I braced myself for the decadence that must reside within such a grand house, but where I expected cold opulence, the house emitted a warmth that rivaled my own childhood home.
“David!” A young man with remarkably black hair rushed up and grasped David’s forearm in greeting. “You’re finally here. What took you so long? Wait, don’t tell me. Another long, tearful goodbye? Yet another broken heart?”
“Who knows, Xander, maybe the quest for the one is over.”
“No,” he responded, eyes wide with disbelief. Before I could make sense of their unusual exchange, another voice rang down.
“You must be Sara.”
I looked up to find a stunning woman standing at the top of the stairs, dark hair falling around her light brown face like a halo. She gracefully descended the grand staircase that dominated the foyer, sparing a brief smile for the young man with David.
“I hope you didn’t find the drive too long or the welcoming committee too overwhelming. We’re a bit off of the beaten path and obviously very excitable.” When I failed to find the words to respond to this angel of a woman, David spoke up.
“Sara, I would like to introduce Maria Wolfsbane. And this rascal is her son, Xander.”
“It’s great to finally meet you. David has told us so m
uch. The things you’ve had to endure.” Sadness wisped across her features before the angel Maria pulled me into a tight embrace. I tensed at the unexpected contact and then the warmth of her hug settled over me.
“Hi,” I said shakily when she released me. The boy, Xander, gave a small wave in acknowledgment.
“I realize this is all a bit,” she gestured around her, “much. I keep telling Alexander we should tone it down. And believe it or not, we did manage to keep most of the curious onlookers at bay. But like with any family, there is no preventing the inevitable noses from butting in.” She gave me a crooked smile and a wink. “Forgive me, you must be tired. Usually, I would let you rest and get refreshed, but I suspect that you're eager to see the end of this journey.”
I nodded numbly, unable to form a full sentence.
“Right,” she said with a sharp nod of her head, then promptly began walking down the corridor by the stairs. “If you’ll follow me, Alexander is in the sitting room. He’s been expecting you for some time.”
“That’s my fault, Maria,” David said, sounding a little abashed.
“Ha! I knew it! We can’t let you go anywhere,” the kid teased as he fell in with us.
“One of these days, you’ll get it, and then I’ll be the one teasing you.”
While they bantered back and forth, I focused on following Maria and taking in my surroundings. Rich artwork and family portraits mixed together along the walls as well as numerous doors and entryways. An aged photograph of several people in front of the House caught my eye and I couldn’t help but wonder how long this pack had been here.
Maria made a sudden right and I only barely stopped myself from walking right past what appeared to be an old-fashioned parlor. Almost dead center, a man sat in an oversized armchair, one of several in the room. He looked up as we entered the room and casually closed the book that had previously held his attention.
His jet-black hair was similar to that of the youth who’d joined us, only it was streaked with strands of silver that mimicked the salt and pepper in his close-shaven beard. At face value, he could’ve been any slightly grizzled older gentleman, if not for the charisma and command that emanated off of him. I didn’t need anyone to tell me that this was the man I'd come to see.
“Come in,” he said, his voice firm, but kind. He set his book down and rose to meet us.
As we walked in, movement caught my attention. I turned and my eyes went wide at the sight of Michael standing demurely by the door. My heart landed with a sickening thud in my stomach that I was positive everyone could hear.
“I hope you don’t mind our guest?” the gentleman asked, though it sounded more like a statement. When I didn’t respond except to keep walking, he continued. “It’s wonderful to finally meet you, Sara. From what I understand, you’ve been through quite the ordeal. I’m pleased to see you’ve been taken care of.”
Is he referencing Michael or David? Why is Michael here?
“My name is Alexander Wolfsbane—yes, I recognize the irony of the name—but what can you do?” His attempt at levity was completely lost on me as I was more preoccupied with not throwing up my road snacks.
“Dad, you really don’t have to explain that to everyone.”
“I see you’ve already met my son.” Alexander smiled as he looked past me to the young man then returned his gaze to me. The act instantly softened his features, making him look more like a beloved father figure and less like a salty general. Despite my mounting terror at the situation, I instinctively relaxed.
I swallowed and accepted his proffered hand with my sweaty one. “It’s nice to meet you too, sir,” I managed to croak out.
His face positively shone with welcome as his hand tightened around mine and peace washed over me. I smiled tentatively and squeezed back. His gaze shifted behind me once more and he let go. It was then that I remembered Michael and my anxiety returned two-fold.
Why is he here?
I snapped my hovering hand down by my side as a rising wave of panic joined the anxiety already coursing through my veins. I tried to swallow, but my throat stuck and I almost choked. Unable to stop myself, I turned to follow Alexander’s look, all of Michael’s warnings about his status in relation to the pack screaming in my mind.
Had David told him about us being together? Would Alexander kill Michael for that? Suddenly, David wasn’t one of my favorite people anymore. Or had Michael followed us and been caught? Was he summoned separately for some other offense?
Why is he here?
My heart constricted at the onslaught of possibilities, none of which had a favorable outcome.
“I don’t see any reason to drag this out any further," Alexander said and gestured to the back of the room. "Michael, will you please join us? I’m sure you’re dying to know why I’ve asked you here today.” My stomach clenched unpleasantly at his choice of words.
This is it, I’m either going to be sick right here on the carpet or change or both.
Michael stepped up beside me and I looked at him out of the corner of my eye, afraid that any more dramatic of a movement would trigger one of the reactions. I stood paralyzed with fear while my adrenaline steadily climbed.
Please don’t let me change. Please don’t let me change.
I felt more than saw Michael move. Warmth engulfed my hand, instantly grounding me. Michael gave it a gentle, reassuring squeeze, and the tension drained out of me. The slight shift in Alexander’s eyes betrayed that he’d noted the movement and my reaction.
“It seems you two have had quite the interesting adventure. I’m rather impressed to hear of your work with Sara in helping her to control her change.” Despite my increasing trepidation, I was tempted to return his smile. Alexander sighed. “This is one of the things about being Alpha—everyone is always so serious.” He shook his head in obvious frustration. “It’s been a long time since you’ve been to the House, Michael.”
“Yes, sir.”
“And what do you think?”
Michael shifted next to me. “I’m not sure I understand what you mean.”
“The last time you were here,” Alexander began to move around the room as he spoke, returning to where he’d been when I'd entered, “we had a very serious conversation. We talked at length about pack and what that means.” He reached out to touch the cover of the closed book, gently brushing the aged leather.
“I remember, sir.”
Alexander straightened up and walked back to us. He looked from Michael to me and back again. “I see you finally understand it.”
Michael’s grip tightened.
“And I think it’s time we revisited our arrangement.”
My insides twisted, thankfully not with anticipation of the change, but with something equally gut-wrenching—fear.
“I can’t very well embrace Sara as pack and have you retain your unique status. I am correct in assuming that you intend to stay together?”
I considered my options. Should I speak? Should I nod? Pack or no pack, I was not about to be separated from Michael. I was going to say as much when Alexander held up a hand to stop me. The act died on my tongue and the words escaped my open mouth as unfulfilled air.
“It’s clear you’ve found the meaning of pack in Sara. I’m genuinely happy for both of you. I can only hope that you can find a way to embrace the rest of the pack as well.”
Michael visibly relaxed.
Alexander looked him in the eye. “I’ll ask again. How does it feel to be back at the House?”
Michael glanced over at me, that smile I'd fallen in love with plain on his face, and I couldn't help but smile back. “It feels like coming home.”
If you enjoyed Sara’s Moon, you’ll love the next book in Moons of Mystery…
Charline’s Solstice — Coming Soon!
View the series here!
https://booksbysbolanos.com/moons-of-mystery/
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You can enjoy the playlist for Sara’s Moon on Spotify.
Mad World
-Jasmine Thompson-
Lone ranger
-Rachel Patten-
Chasing Pavements
-Adele-
Someone To You
-BANNERS-
Sweet Disposition
-The Temper Trap-
Back to Black
-Amy Winehouse-
Control
-Zoe Wees-
Eet
-Regina Spektor-
Let Go
-Frou Frou-
Please Don’t Say You Love Me
-Gabrielle Aplin-
Say Something
-A Great Big World-
You Found Me
-The Fray-
Fire N Gold
-Bea Miller-
Unbelievable
-Why Don’t We-
My Head & My Heart
-Ava Max-
My Moon My Man
-Feist-
Come Back to Me
-David Cook-
Slow It Down
-Tenille Arts-
Fight Song
