I stood there for another minute before I made up my mind. I am going to get my stubborn sexy mate and my little princess. I raced the rest of the way to the back door of the castle and walked in. Sydney and Adira both sat on the stools in the kitchen eating ice cream by themselves.
"Have you been out there all by yourself?" The Queen asked me. I just shook my head no. Before saying "I need to go after him. He is my mate and I need him with me" I said looking her in the eyes so she knows just how I feel about that man.
She smiled. She knew I needed to do this. Adira turned to me and wrapped herself around my waist. "Can I go with you?" she asked, looking between me and Sydney. I turned to Sydney raising my eyebrow. Before she nodded her head.
"Sure sweetie," I said before turning back to Queen Sydney. "I need a bag packed with some clothes for her. We shouldn't be gone too long. I just need to speak to my mate about things." I said placing a hand over my flat stomach. Only to catch her eyeing my hand.
"You're.." she goes to say and I just nod my head. I don't know how to feel about it right now with everything going on with me and Elijah but we will figure this out.
"I'm so happy for you," She said, wrapping me in a tight hug. "I'm going to be a grandma" She said into my ear as I felt wetness on my shoulder. She is crying. She pulled away before saying "I never got to be your mother but I will be the best grandmother this baby could ever hope for."
"I need a bag for her packed and I don't have any clothes so we will be driving. I'll take one of the vehicles." I said wiping her tears while changing the subject.
"You take 3 warriors with you. Two vehicles." was all she said before mind linking whoever. 2 minutes later 3 men come into the room. Travis. Bert and Nathan all walk in. All the men I used to train with. "Estelle," they said quietly, bowing their heads to me. I was never close to them but they never gave me trouble.
"You are to escort Queen Estelle and Lady Adira to her previous pack. You are to stay with her till she gives the okay to leave, Do you understand?" she asked, daring one of them to say otherwise. There is no King so it is bound to happen that one of these greedy, power-hungry men will rise up and try to take the Crown by force.
"Yes," they all said, bowing to their Queen. "They will be leaving bright and early in the morning. So get some rest you got a drive ahead of you in the morning." She said before dismissing them.
"Now that, that is taken care of; I will get some clothes for Adira here and a bag. You too go get some rest." She said leaning in and rubbing her cheek against mine. I nodded before leading Adira with me upstairs.
"Do you want to sleep in your own room or with me?" I asked. I didn't want her to be alone if she was scared. I wanted her to know that she is welcome to sleep in bed with me. After all, Lilian did it all the time.
"Yes please," she said, following me into my room before climbing into bed and making herself comfortable.
"Get some sleep sweetheart," I said before turning over and falling fast asleep.
Chapter 9
When I woke up the next morning, it was still really early and the sun hadn't even begun to rise. I turned to look at the clock on my nightstand. 4:30. I hurriedly ran to the bathroom and last night's dinner came up. Tears streaming down my face. I absolutely hate vomiting. It is honestly the worst thing in the world.
After climbing up from the toilet I brushed my teeth before stripping and getting into the shower. I spent another 15 minutes in the shower just thinking about everything. What if Elijah doesn't want this baby? What if he doesn't want me anymore?
I didn't realize tears were flowing down my cheeks. I climbed out of the shower after wiping my face and turning off the water. I wrapped a towel in my hair before wrapping another around my body before I walked back into the bedroom. Only to see Adira watching me quietly. She never said anything before she got off the bed and ran towards me.
"I thought you left without me," she said, wiping her tears onto my towel. "I wouldn't," I replied before gently pulling away from her.
"How bout you get into the shower while I find another pair of clothes for you after I get dressed. What do you say?" I said smiling when she nods her head enthusiastically before running into the bathroom and practically slamming the door. Which only causes a hearty laugh to echo around the room. She is something else.
I got dressed before grabbing a pair of clothes out of the bag Sydney had packed last night. laid them on the bed before I walked out of the room and headed downstairs.
I quickly made breakfast when Sydney walked into the empty kitchen. "You weren't going to leave without saying goodbye were you?" she asked sitting in one of the stools on the island.
I laughed softly before reply "Of course not, I woke up a little earlier than I expected so I am making breakfast so that we can just make it there without any stops" I said flipping the bacon and platting the eggs on a plate before turning the sausages.
They will only have a couple of minutes left. "Where is she?" Sydney asked looking for Adira. "Upstairs in the shower" I replied once again. As I was taking the bacon and sausage off the stove and plating them Adira comes walking in with her head down.
"Hey walk with your head held high Lady Adira," I said looking at Sydney who voiced her agreement.
She climbs into a seat next to Sydney before I handed her plate. She started scoffing it down. "Hey slow down you are going to make yourself sick," I said, rounding the island and gently pulling her plate away from her so as to not scare her.
"Sorry," she said sheepishly looking between me and Sydney who both share the same looks on our faces.
"You don't have to eat like it's your last meal. From now on; you eat like a princess." I said softly before turning to Sydney. "So we will be back in a couple of days" I go to say before Adira softly speaks.
"Can I stay here?" she said, looking to Sydney with puppy dog eyes. "Of course honey," I said before continuing "I am going to head out. I will see you in a few days." I said hugging Adira into me. I wanted to ask her to make sure this is what she wanted. But at the same time, I didn't want to push her.
I left the kitchen quietly before making my way to the foyer where they are picking up my little bag and Adira’s. "Oh, we won't be needing that one," I said reaching out to the little blue bag.
They just nodded before taking my bag and placing it in the back seat. I followed them out and right as I was climbing into the car Sydney graciously made her way to me.
"Don't let him decide for you. Follow your heart. He is just one man. You have another mate you can choose if he doesn't want this" she said before walking away. I climbed into the car but couldn't help but think.
Could I really leave Elijah now that I found him for my true mate? I didn't even feel for him the way I felt for Elijah. Could I really just go to my mate? Could I really just leave Lilian like that?
The entire way there I contemplated everything. Couldn't I just pass up the crown for him? Would he ask that of me? Would I even want to? Or would I resent him for the rest of my long life? My brain finally stopped when we made it to his territory or should I say our territory. We are mates after all.
I held my breath when we reached the packhouse. I knew he was near because I felt the pull. The pull wanting me to be by my mate. My wolf prancing around inside my head wanting nothing but to be near his wolf.
I don't see anybody around. So I climb out of the vehicle and reach over to grab my small bag. Right as I am dragging the bag to the edge of the seat to throw it over my shoulder.
Something comes barreling towards me or should I say, someone. "Lily," I said bending down and wrapping her into my arms. "I'm so happy you're okay," I said kissing her little cheeks which I smelt Elijah on.
"I missed you so much. Daddy has been mean" she said laughing before grabbing tightly onto my hand which caused goon 1 to growl softly. "Hush" was all I said which caused them both to bow their heads at me.
"Come I will show you to your quarters," I said as Lilian led me int
o the beautiful house that I didn't know I missed so much.
Chapter 10
Once I reached the foyer there was Marisol waiting to hug me. "I'm so glad you're bad he has been an absolute beast since you left," she said into my ear causing me to laugh. But I knew it was the truth.
"Marisol, can you please show these two where their quarters will be? I have something to discuss with our almighty Alpha," I said laughing it off.
"Lilian you go play I will find you when I am done talking to daddy okay?" I said. She only took off running which let me know that she understood what I was saying.
"Marisol before you go where is he and is he alone?" I asked even though I really didn't want to know. I mean I did. But at the same time, I don't because if a woman was with him I would have blood on my hands cause I will slaughter her with no remorse.
Some would think that that was my wolf talking. However, it was just me. I don't want another woman to even look at what's mine.
"He is in his office dear, and yes I do believe he is alone. But be careful" she said before walking off with the two goons following her. Though they looked like they wanted to come with me after she said "be careful" But I just shook my head no before proceeding up the stairs fairly quickly. Making my way to his office door in record time. Not that I have ever timed myself.
I didn't even bother knocking. What's the point he probably will be upset either way. "Estelle" he sucked in a breath. The stench of alcohol permeated the office. "What are you doing here?" he asked, trying to move closer.
"No, not until you shower and get that god awful stench off you," I said, raising my hand up in protest. "We will talk after you shower and sober up some," I said quietly walking towards him and grabbing his hand so that I could lead him to his bedroom rather than the bathroom.
"Can you undress by yourself?" I honestly wanted to know. Cause at this moment it doesn't seem like it. "What all did you fucking have. There is no way you should be this drunk" I said once again before beginning to help him undress.
Once he was completely naked, did I finally step back? The water has already warmed up. "Get in" I pointed to the shower that is currently steaming up the bathroom.
"On one condition," He said, leaning into me. "What?" was all I could say. Getting frustrated. "Kiss me" I didn't think anything else before I leaned in and placed my lips onto his soft ones. The kiss started out slow before he started picking up speed. I miss this. I couldn't help but think. When he tried to deepen the kiss that was my cue to pull away from him.
"Shower now!" I said backing away from him. "So bossy, daddy likes," He said, smirking before doing what he was told and jumping into the shower. I walked out of the bathroom smiling at him. I sat down on his bed. Sniffing the air, trying to find any scent that doesn't belong here. None. Good, my wolf growled out in my head.
I looked around the room trying to find something to catch my attention so I don't think about my sexy naked mate dripping in water in the shower. Oh, how I want to join him. But I can't! We need to have this talk before anything like that can happen.
It took another 20 minutes before he finally climbed out of the shower. I couldn't stop my eyes from dragging down his wet body before he wrapped the towel around his waist.
Boy was he blessed down under if you know what I mean. Shit, he was blessed all over. He was one of the most rugged and beautifully handsome men I have ever seen. No one will ever come close to him.
Not even my true mate. My wolf claims Elijahs as ours. She wants nothing to do with our true mate.
I waited a couple of minutes while he dried his hair and brushed his teeth before he finally walked out into the room. It felt like hours, neither of us saying anything; just staring.
"We need to talk," I said softly. I honestly don't know how he is going to take this. He ignores me however and sniffs the air before turning his ear up. He knows now.
"You're pregnant," he said looking at me in shock. I was waiting for him to blow. "Were you going to tell me?" he asked, still looking at me but this time staring straight at my flat belly.
"Yes, after we talked about everything, of course, I was going to tell you. You deserve to know. You are the father after all." I said looking him straight in the eyes so he knows I am speaking nothing but the truth. I can see how he wanted to argue.
"I'm not ready for another child, I never wanted another child" was all he said before storming out of his room. All I could do was cry. He doesn't want this baby. I stayed in the same spot for I don't know how many hours. All I know is that it is dinner time when they call me down for dinner.
I couldn't start missing meals now. O am after all eating for two now. I wiped my tears before heading to the dining room. When I walked in everyone was seated and my seat next to Elijah was still open.
I walked over and sat down. He didn't say anything to me. Matter of fact he didn't even look at me. More tears threatened to fall. However, I was not going to cry in front of this pack. I am not going to show any weakness.
"E, I was looking for you," Lilian said, coming and climbing into my lap. "I'm right here baby girl" I laughed. Waiting for Elijah to fix his plate before I can fix mine.
As Alpha, he makes his plate first and takes the first bite. Everybody follows his lead afterward. Once he finally fixed his plate and took the first bite, everyone began to make their plate. That included me. "What do you want dear?" I asked looking at the little girl in my arms.
I watched as she pointed to things she wanted on her plate. I finished making hers before making mine. Conversations were going on around the table. Elijah finally looked at me. I can feel his eyes on me. But as soon as I lift my eyes to meet his, he turns them away. A couple of tears that I couldn't stop falling fell.
"E, why are you crying?" Lilian asks, turning around in my lap to brush away the tears with her tiny hands. "I'm okay, will you excuse," I said, lifting her off my lap and into the chair which we both just occupied before I walked with my head held high out of the room.
Chapter 11
I raced up the stairs as soon as I was out of eyesight. I went straight to my room and into the bathroom. I shouldn't be surprised by Elijah's reaction. I knew he wasn't going to be excited about it. We had finally started to act like real mates.
I quickly undressed and jumped into the shower. I cried harder as the tears fell down my face. Steam circling the air. Fogging the entire room up. But I just kept crying and crying. Till I felt strong hands around my waist. "I'm sorry," he said, placing a gentle kiss on my mark.
He turned me around, grabbing my face in the process. "I'm sorry, I haven't been the mate you wanted. I haven't been the mate you need. I'm sorry I acted the way I did when I found out. You're pregnant. It just makes moving on harder. I feel like I am betraying her. I never wanted any more children after she passed. Lilian was enough. " He said quietly I felt a tear of his own fall down his face and onto my shoulder.
"I don't want to forget her, and I feel like me moving on and starting a family with you will make me forget her..." he stops for a minute sniffling before saying "She was the woman I knew I would spend the rest of my life with. The woman who made me strong. She never gave up on me. She was my best friend. When she got pregnant with Lilian that was one of the best days of my life. Estelle, I don't want to ever forget her. I love her." he says crying harder. I stopped crying and soothed him. He loves her. Will he ever love me like that?
"Are you in love with her?" I asked though I already know the answer to that. But I need to hear him say it.
"I will always be in love with her, she gave me the best thing in life. She made me a father," he said wiping his tears away. That just caused me to cry.
"Will you ever love me as you loved her?" I asked though once again I know the answer to that question.
"No, I don't think I will ever love anyone the way I loved her," he said. I sobbed harder.
"I'm sorry this isn't what you wanted Elijah. I'm sorry. But I am keeping this child. You do
n't have to be in its life. We can move on from each other and you will never have to worry about forgetting her. She is the love of your life. I love that you love her so much. I get it. Thank you." I said wiping my tears before stepping out of the shower and rushed butt naked to my room and hurriedly placed clothes on.
I laid in bed crying, till I fell asleep. I woke up with those familiar strong arms and scent wrapped around me. "I can't ever forget her Estelle. I'm sorry if that upsets you, but I am not going to lie to you." He said hugging me closer to his chest.
"I won't ever love you the way I loved her because she was my first. She was my everything. But that doesn't mean that I won't love you. It just means I won't love you the same as I loved her. I know I can love you Estelle." he said placing a kiss on my mark making my wolf howl in pleasure.
"I'm not going to be second to her Elijah, I deserve better. I deserve a future. Whether it is with you or not" I said honestly. Pulling away from him and standing up. Saying that caused a deep warning growl to flow out from his chest. "You're mine!" he practically yelled.
"I don't want you to forget her Elijah. I never wanted that. What I want is for you to love me. I want you to love me as hard as you loved her. I know I'll never be her. You never let me forget that. But you fail to realize that I don't want to be her. I want to be your mate. I want to raise Lilian with you. I want to raise this child with you. But I will never beg for you to love me." I said crying once again as I said those words.
"I am a Queen. You can either be my King or you can just be another Alpha under me. Your choice. I'm not going to make it for you. You know where I will be." I said before I took off. I didn't say goodbye to anyone. As soon as I was outside the house I transformed into my beautiful wolf heading for the Castle.
All my wolf wanted me to do was run back to Elijah and apologize. But what do I have to apologize for? For not being enough for him? For getting jealous?
REIGN (Crown Book 2) Page 3
