Just Above a Whisper

by Lori Wick

  “That night I told God I believed in Him and needed Him to save me. I was only about six at the time, but I know it was real. When hard things came into my life after that point, I would be tempted to doubt God’s love for me, but that night was always the memory that came to mind.”

  “At the risk of sounding insulting, you don’t seem like someone who’s ever known hard things,” Reese theorized, even as she wondered what he was like as a child.

  “I can see why it might seem that way. Someday I’ll have to tell you about it. Maybe when you tell me your whole story.”

  Reese nodded, thinking the future a good idea. She certainly didn’t want to discuss it tonight, not here and now.

  “I’d better let you go,” Conner said when the breeze picked up and he realized Reese was not wearing a sweater or coat.

  “I’ll see you in the morning.”

  “Goodnight, Reese.”

  “Goodnight.”

  Conner waited until she was inside before replacing his hat and walking home very slowly.

  Reese had her hands full on Saturday, but she was up to the challenge. She had done laundry earlier in the week, so plenty of linens were fresh. She took extra care with the dining room table once the men had had dinner and gone on their way. She knew they would want their tea but was also fairly certain they would leave things in good order for the guests.

  Reese counted people in her mind before counting places at the table. Including herself, she needed ten chairs. The table was comfortable for twelve, so Reese knew that if the Kingsley men each wanted to take an end, they would have elbow room to spare.

  Not until Reese went outside to shake a rug did she become distracted from her mission. She had just finished, knowing her hair had taken the lion’s share of dust, when she looked up to see Gerald walking her way.

  “Hello,” Reese greeted him kindly, not nearly so cross to see him this time.

  “Hey,” he said when he neared, and Reese thought he seemed down.

  “What are you doing today?”

  “Nothing,” he said, his look going south. “All you ever do is work.”

  “I like to work,” Reese felt a need to tell him, biting her tongue from saying he could use a job himself.

  “I don’t like the man you work for,” Gerald suddenly said.

  “Do you know the man I work for?” Reese asked, when what she really wanted to do was defend Conner Kingsley.

  “He sent my father away,” Gerald retorted, sounding as sulky as he felt.

  Again Reese wanted to jump to Conner’s defense but controlled herself.

  “Maybe you should talk to Mr. Kingsley or Mr. Thaden and ask one of them about it,” Reese suggested, realizing she didn’t know all the details.

  “They would just treat me like they treated my father!” Gerald sounded belligerent now, and Reese knew there would be no reasoning with him.

  When silence settled around them for a moment, Reese was on the verge of excusing herself, but Gerald spoke, his tone softened.

  “Why don’t we do something together sometime?”

  “That’s not a good idea, Gerald. I’m complimented that you would want to do something with me, but you and I have very little in common.”

  “My mother says you’re too old for me and not good enough, but she’s wrong.”

  “Your mother just wants to protect you,” Reese replied, not allowing herself to be offended. “And she doesn’t know me well enough to know if I’d be good for you. It’s natural that she’d feel that way.”

  Gerald looked at her, his heart aching inside of him. He knew he didn’t stand a chance. Even though she was only a servant in town, there was something special about her, something he was drawn to.

  “Just say you’ll go with me, even on a walk,” Gerald tried again, not surprised to see Reese shaking her head no.

  “I’ve got to get back to work, Gerald. Thanks for stopping to see me.”

  “But you don’t want me to stop in anymore, do you?”

  “If it’s only going to give you ideas about us, then you’d better not.”

  Gerald left without another word, and Reese prayed but also asked herself what she could have said differently. She hated this attachment he’d developed to her, but never did she want to see him hurt.

  Without warning, Reese felt the hair pick up on the back of her neck. She glanced around, feeling as though she was being watched. She even went around the edge of the house to look for Gerald and spotted him down the green. Going back to the door she’d used to come outside, Reese took a moment to look around.

  The feeling was lessening, but something wasn’t right. Had she not just seen Gerald on the green, she would swear he’d hidden in order to watch her. Reese finally went back inside, her heart a little worried.

  Conner’s mind registered concern the moment he walked in to find Reese waiting for them in the hall. The last time she’d done this, Gerald Jenness had visited.

  “Has something happened?” he asked as soon as he was close enough. Reese explained Gerald’s visit, not being overly specific but telling Conner, Troy, and Dalton about her sense of being watched.

  “I don’t want you outside in the back by yourself,” Conner immediately began. “If you can’t do something out front, don’t worry about it unless we’re here.”

  “I’m not the issue,” Reese took no time in saying. “If Mr. Jenness is lurking about, he doesn’t care about me. You’re the reason he left his job—at least that’s what his son thinks. I only stayed to warn you. I’m not in danger.”

  Troy and Dalton had stayed quiet, fascinated with the way Reese spoke up to Conner. Conner, on the other hand, had more to say.

  “You will do as I ask. I don’t want you outside where no one can see you.”

  “And you’re not listening,” Reese emphasized. “I’m not the issue, and even if I was, it’s only Mr. Jenness.”

  “What does that mean?” Conner asked, his face registering confusion.

  “I’m much bigger than he is.”

  Dalton’s hand came to his upper lip, and Troy turned a laugh into a cough. Conner and Reese, however, were not laughing.

  “I have to get home,” Reese said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “And we’ll talk again on Monday” were Conner’s parting words.

  Reese only eyed him before heading to the door. When she was gone, both Dalton and Troy took one look at Conner’s face and decided to leave their comments for another time.

  Sixteen

  Reese had never tried to figure out why, but she always sat in the rear pew. She didn’t hurry away when the service ended, nor did she want to avoid people, but the back pew somehow fit her needs.

  She had noticed on past Sundays that Troy and Conner also seemed the most comfortable in that row. And on this Sunday, with Dalton accompanying them, it became something of a tight squeeze. In fact, Conner ended up sitting on the side of Reese’s skirt. She didn’t notice at first. It took her wanting to shift a bit to realize she couldn’t move. She was just about to say something to him when he leaned toward her.

  “Vesta?”

  “No,” Reese said, wanting to laugh.

  “Why don’t you just tell me?”

  “What’s your middle name?” Reese suddenly asked.

  “James.”

  “You see?” she whispered. “It’s normal. Mine is not.”

  Conner looked down at her. Reese looked up at him.

  “By the way,” she said, having almost forgotten, “you’re on my skirt.”

  To her utter astonishment he didn’t shift over but smiled at her.

  “I’m comfortable.”

  Reese bit her lip and turned away to keep from laughing. Conner, almost in laughter himself, shifted enough to let her pull the fabric closer to her side.

  The action made Conner more aware of her than ever before. He’d flirted with her just now, something he’d not even attempted in more years than he could remember, and ev
en as the sermon got underway, he knew why.

  Reese Thackery was the most intriguing woman he’d ever met. Conner didn’t live in a small town, so knowing folks well was more difficult. He was close to the people in his church family, but there were no women his age who were also unmarried.

  Reese Thackery had brought out something inside of him that he didn’t know existed. She was hard-working and smart, easily the most capable woman of his acquaintance. There was also something altogether vulnerable about her, something that caused Conner to wish he could protect her forever.

  “Now let’s look at a few verses in Psalm 25,” Conner finally heard Douglas say, and he realized he needed to listen.

  “I’m going to read just four verses to you, but I don’t want you to miss a few elements. In these four verses, ‘thy,’ ‘thou,’ or ‘thee’ is used ten times. David, the author of these words, is speaking in complete humility, understanding that his salvation is all about God: God’s desire to save and God’s desire to keep us. David understands this. I’m going to start in verse four and just point out a few things as we go along.

  “ ‘Show me thy ways, O Lord; teach me thy paths.’ Now this is not a complicated verse. It seems pretty straightforward, but we tend to be blind to the seriousness of our sin. When we ask God to show and teach us, we’re not always ready for that prayer to be answered.

  “Verse five says, ‘Lead me in thy truth, and teach me; for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day.’ Just in case you’ve forgotten, we’ve already covered five of the thy-thou-thee references to God. There’s no missing them in these verses. God’s presence, His will, and His power will not be ignored.

  “Okay, verses six and seven. ‘Remember, O Lord, thy tender mercies and thy lovingkindness; for they have been ever of old. Remember not the sins of my youth, nor my transgressions; according to thy mercy remember thou me for thy goodness’ sake, O Lord.’

  “Did you catch the ‘remembers’? First David asks that God remember, then he asks Him not to remember, and then he wants Him to remember again. How many of us have sins from the past that we never want to have to think about again? David is asking God to let those stay in the past.

  “And all for God’s glory. David will certainly know the benefits of God’s goodness, but the ultimate glory will be God’s. Did you notice the phrase ‘they have been ever of old’? We don’t talk like that anymore, but I love those words. They remind me that God is the Creator. They tell us that even before creation, God was merciful and that his kindness was the most loving type.”

  Sitting in the front row, his heart soaking in every word, Jace Randall found himself asking God to be His most loving that day. Jace had something to take care of, and he knew that nothing good could come of it without God’s kindness and mercy.

  The Muldoons’ visit to the big house started with a tour. Reese felt a certain measure of pride that things looked nice, and as she had expected, Alison and Hillary fell in love with the house and furnishings as fast as she had.

  Reminding herself to act like a guest—Troy had made a point of telling her that this morning—Reese followed along, happy to do that until it was time for the food to go on the table. She started out sitting with the others in the dining room, but male voices, all sounding confused and coming from the kitchen, caused her to excuse herself and head that way.

  “What’s the matter?”

  “You’re not supposed to be in here,” Troy started.

  “Okay,” she agreed, and began to put rolls in a low bowl.

  “Reese,” Troy tried again, only to have her agree and begin giving orders.

  “Let’s put that fork with the meat. Good. Now those salads need spoons. Right there. Good.”

  A few minutes later Reese looked things over, not speaking or looking at the men, and then went back to her seat. The Muldoon family was more than a little amused by all of this, and their smiles almost started Reese to laughing. Instead, she smiled at Joshua, who sat next to her, and looked up to see the men trooping in with all the platters and bowls.

  The compliments were many, but the men were all careful to give credit to Reese. She was glad when Dalton prayed and everyone began to eat, taking the focus off of her.

  Not for another five minutes did she see that the men had made no plans for drinks. Reese discreetly stood and went to Dalton.

  “Shall I make some tea?”

  His face was comical.

  “I forgot we needed something to drink.”

  “I’ll take care of it,” Reese assured him and slipped from the room.

  If Dalton had looked at his brother just then, he would have found himself scowled at. Certainly it was Dalton’s idea to have Reese be a guest, but without someone to handle the details, it just didn’t work. Conner ate a little more of his meal, seeing that Reese had enjoyed little of hers, excused himself, and joined her in the kitchen.

  “I knew this would happen,” he said, wasting no time displaying his feelings.

  “What’s that?” Reese had gone right to whispering.

  “You would have to work.”

  “If I recall, you were the one who assured me that the three of you could handle it.”

  “That lasted until I walked off Mrs. Greenlowe’s porch and realized what I’d said.”

  Reese only smiled, checking the milk for freshness before putting it into a small pitcher.

  “I don’t mind,” she countered.

  “You’re doing it again,” Conner said.

  “What am I doing?”

  “Whispering.”

  Reese looked at him. “Do I do that when I talk to you?”

  “Often.”

  “Why do you whisper?” Reese decided to ask.

  “My throat was damaged when I was young.”

  “So you can’t speak any louder?”

  “No. In fact, some days my vocal cords wear out, and only rest brings my voice back.”

  Reese nodded thoughtfully as she realized that he always wore his cravat quite high. She wondered if he was scarred but was careful not to drop her eyes away from his. Nevertheless, her curiosity about this man only increased.

  A few seconds later Reese realized she was looking into his eyes. They were kind eyes, light blue, amid a handsome, almost boyish face, and right now those eyes were looking right back at her.

  “What can I do to help?” Conner brought them back to the moment.

  “I’ll load the tray,” Reese suggested, surprised at where her thoughts had gone. “And you can carry it.”

  The job was accomplished a short time later, and water and tea were served at the table. Reese returned to her meal, ready to eat and glad to have tea with it. She was also thankful she had something to do with her hands and eyes; otherwise she would have gone right back to staring at Conner Kingsley, who occupied one end of the table.

  “Hey, Doyle,” Jace said as soon as there was an opening. “Would you mind showing me a pair of boots in the store? I might not have time to come in this week.”

  “Not at all,” Doyle agreed, leaving the women to their talk and slipping out the side door.

  Jace felt terrible for the deceit; he didn’t need boots and planned to tell Doyle that. But the afternoon was wearing on, and he knew they wouldn’t be in town that much longer.

  “I’m sorry I lied,” Jace confessed as soon as the door shut behind them.

  “I’m not,” Doyle said bluntly, and Jace looked closely into his face, as he had been doing all day. Doyle appeared tired and older, and in only a few days’ time.

  “You’ve got yourself all worked up. I can see it.”

  “I’m not sleeping, and I’m having to hide that from Cathy.”

  “Tell me what’s on your mind, Doyle. Explain it to me.”

  “I’m not sick now, but as you know I was sick, and not that long ago. I didn’t fear death then, but I do now. I don’t know what to do about that.”

  “Well, you’re asking at the right tim
e,” Jace said. “If you think you can wait and argue your way into heaven at a later time, you’re in for a horrible surprise.”

  Doyle looked at the man married to his niece and knew he would not play games with him.

  “I’ve always seen myself as a good man,” Doyle confessed. “I don’t cheat my customers, and I’m generous when I can be. I love my wife, and I feel like I’ve done all right.”

  “Then why all this fear now?”

  Doyle’s heart sank. It was a powerful question, and one that he could not answer.

  “If I drop dead right now, Jace, I don’t know what God will say to me. I don’t know if I’ll be in heaven.”

  “But you can know. I learned that early this year. It took a long time, but the blinders are off my eyes. I can see exactly what the Bible was saying all along.”

  “What has it said?”

  “That I’m condemned unless God saves me, no matter how well I think I’m doing on this earth. My sin separates me from God, and without the shed blood of His Son, I’ll be lost for all of eternity.”

  Doyle paled, but Jace’s expression was kind.

  “I can tell you about what happened to me, Doyle. There’s a lot I don’t understand, but I can tell you my story.”

  “Tell me,” the older man urged, and Jace began. He told Doyle how thankful he was that Maddie had had questions all those years and that she wasn’t able to let the subject rest. He explained to him how he’d not seen how serious his sin was, and then how frightened he’d been when he realized how great and powerful God was; that He could have taken his life at any time.

  “That’s me, Jace.” Doyle was breathing hard. “It was Mr. Somer this time. It could have been me, and not just collapsing but dying. I’m not ready for that.”

  “Would you like to be ready?” Jace asked, hoping he had the right words.