Shattered Vows

by Kaylea Cross

  “Gambling, the guy said. If it’s true, I’m guessing he was desperate, got in over his head, made a few bad decisions and by then it was too late to dig himself out. It snowballed out of control.”

  Jase was silent for a few heartbeats, watching her. “Do you think, if it was intentional, was it because of the debt?” he asked, meaning the truck going over the cliff.

  “Could be. Makes a lot of sense now.”

  Yeah, it did. And if the insurance company got wind of this, then they would no doubt come to the same conclusion.

  “Maybe he thought if he died, this guy would forgive the loan. Or maybe he did it because he didn’t know how else to protect me.”

  Jase heaved a heavy sigh. She was strong and didn’t like asking for help, but tonight had to have shaken her. “Instead he dumped more of his shit on you.”

  Molly put her head in her hands, and all the fight went out of him. “Don’t,” she whispered. “He’s gone. Let’s just remember the good times. Remembering the rest won’t help any of us move forward.”

  “I remember everything.” There had been lots of good times, before Carter was wounded. Afterward was pretty much a shit show. “But I can’t overlook the mess he’s left you in.” Even in his tortured mind, Carter should have known that his death wouldn’t have solved anything. That he was merely dumping his problems onto Molly.

  She exhaled wearily. “He wouldn’t have done this to me intentionally.”

  “I don’t care.”

  She narrowed her eyes at him. “Why can’t you look past what happened at the end and forgive him? If I can, then you should too.”

  “Because he hurt you.” And for Jase that was unforgivable. He could have forgiven Carter for hurting him, or Beckett. But never Molly. Once Carter had crossed that line, for Jase there was no going back.

  “You know he didn’t mean to.”

  “And yet he did it anyway.” Didn’t matter to Jase whether it had been unintentional or not. But there was no point in continuing this conversation because clearly she wasn’t going to listen to his reasoning.

  Straightening, he changed the subject. “You eaten yet?”

  She frowned at the abrupt shift. “I grabbed something on my way to yoga class. You?”

  “I’m good. Go sit down and put your feet up for a while,” he said, nodding toward the living room.

  A hint of annoyance flashed in her eyes, allowing him another glimpse of the spark he loved so much in her. She was her own person, a strong woman, and he loved that about her almost as much as he loved her huge heart. “Is that an order?”

  “Only if you’re going to argue.”

  Her lips twitched, then she turned and walked away from him. Jase followed, sitting on the other end of the couch from her, and patted his lap. “Gimme your feet.”

  She hesitated, giving him a strange look.

  “Come on. You’ve been on your feet all day.” He patted again. “Put ‘em up here.”

  With a sigh she stretched out and set them in his lap. They were so dainty, her nails painted a bright, glossy pink. He took them in his hands. “You’re freezing,” he reprimanded her, rubbing gently to restore some warmth.

  “Yeah, well, running into that guy didn’t exactly leave me feeling all warm and cozy.”

  Jase slid his thumbs over the soft soles of her feet, surprised she was allowing the intimacy and glad for the chance to do something to take care of her. What he wouldn’t give to be able to pick her up in his arms and carry her upstairs to bed where he could take her mind off everything, then hold her close throughout the night and make her feel safe.

  “You know he’s going to come back,” he said quietly. He was going to make sure they were prepared for it.

  She nodded. “Not sure what I’m supposed to do about it. If he thinks he can get the money from me, he’s nuts. He did mention the life insurance policy, though.”

  Jase sliced her a sharp look. “What about it?”

  “He knew Carter had one. Not sure how he found out about it.” She reached up and rubbed the back of her neck with one hand, rolling her head from side to side. “Hard to say, since we don’t know who we’re dealing with. But he obviously thinks or knows I’m the beneficiary if the settlement comes through.”

  Who the hell was this guy? What connections did he have that he would be able to get that kind of information? Unease tightened Jase’s insides. “Maybe Carter told him about it.”

  Molly frowned. “He wouldn’t have done that.”

  “Wouldn’t he? Moll, who the hell knew what he was thinking at the end?”

  “Yeah. True,” she mumbled. “The guy also said I should go to my friends and family for the money.”

  “Do you want to pay it? If it’ll get this guy off your back and make it all go away, I’ll pay it.”

  “Jase, no. That’s crazy.”

  He shrugged. “If that’s what it takes, I’ll do it.”

  “You’ve already sunk all kinds of money into this place for me.”

  “I’ve got some investments. I could cash them in.”

  “No, that’s your retirement savings. But thank you. I know you’d do that for me if it came down to it.”

  Damn right, he would. To keep her safe? He’d do anything.

  She fell silent, lost in her own thoughts for a minute before focusing on him again. “What really happened between you and Carter that night, by the way?” she asked quietly. “You never did tell me the details.”

  Jase’s hands paused on her foot. He’d always assumed she knew. That someone had told her. He’d never brought it up because he hadn’t wanted to make everything harder than it already was. “I thought you knew.”

  “No. Just that you guys had had an argument. I didn’t ask before because you were upset enough. I didn’t want to make it worse.”

  “You don’t know anything else? Not even from Sierra?” Beckett had been with Jase at the bar that night. His former CO was a tight-lipped bastard, but even he would have told his fiancée some of the details.

  “Not even her.” Molly removed her feet from his lap and sat up taller, pulling her knees up and wrapping her arms around them. “Will you tell me now?”

  All of a sudden Jase felt tired. Soul-deep tired.

  He sighed and looked away, out the French doors across the room, because he didn’t have the guts to meet her eyes when he told her. But she had a right to know.

  Through the French doors, a half-moon painted the trees in her backyard with a silvery-blue light. It was so quiet here. Peaceful. He hated to ruin that.

  “I left you with Noah and Sierra and went looking for him with Beckett.” Jase had been filled with rage. He’d wanted to teach Carter a lesson. To punish him for what he’d done to Molly.

  “And you found him at a bar north of here,” she said quietly.

  Jase nodded. “I was already worked up, after seeing what he did to you.” God, he’d never forget the moment he’d spotted her hiding in that culvert, or when he’d seen the damage Carter had done to her face. How sick and helpless he’d felt. “When I saw him sitting in that bar, I lost it.”

  Molly made a soft sound of empathy he wasn’t sure he deserved.

  It was all still so damn vivid in his mind. “I punched him.” Motherfucker, he’d shouted, slamming his fist into the face of the man he had served beside, stood up for at his wedding, and at one time would have died for.

  You cowardly sonofabitch.

  He pulled in a deep breath. No taking those damning words back now. “I think the worst part was, he never even tried to defend himself or throw a punch back. Because he knew he deserved the punishment.”

  Sadness etched Molly’s face but she didn’t say a word.

  “Beckett pulled me off him. And then Carter looked at me and asked…” He paused, cleared his throat because it was suddenly clogged. “He asked, ‘Is she okay?’.”

  What the fuck do you think? he’d snarled back.

  Jase had been beyond apolog
ies by then. Wanting only to hurt Carter for what he’d done to Molly, not giving a single shit about his former friend’s suffering.

  He shook his head, the memory of the devastation in those dark eyes as Jase had laid into him burned into his memory forever. Carter’s expression had been full of shame and defeat. A broken man where once a proud warrior had stood.

  “He stormed out a couple minutes later and took off in his truck. I never thought… Never thought he’d die that night. That’s what I can’t forgive myself for.”

  But he couldn’t tell her the rest. The heavy, resentful undercurrent running between them the whole time. Because Carter had known that Jase was in love with Molly.

  A soft, choked sound broke him from his thoughts. Molly was watching him, her green-and-gold eyes brimming with tears that spilled down her cheeks. Crying almost silently.

  Shit.

  Jase immediately turned and reached for her, his chest threatening to split apart as she went willingly into his arms. He pulled her close and held her to his chest, pressing his face against her springy curls. Ah, angel.

  He hadn’t been able to comfort her through her grief, not even at the funeral, where she’d been the epitome of strength and class throughout. Until this moment he hadn’t realized how badly he’d needed to have her seek this kind of solace from him.

  “You sorry I told you?” he murmured after a while. She smelled so damn good. Felt so incredibly perfect snuggled up to him as silent sobs jerked her shoulders. What he wouldn’t give to be able to hold her like this anytime he felt like it, for the rest of his life.

  With effort he shoved the tortuous thought aside.

  Her curls rubbed against his lips as she shook her head. “No. I’m just…sad. For him, and you.” She rested her head on his chest with a shuddering sigh, her arms looped around his ribs. “And it wasn’t your fault. Even if he didn’t drive over that cliff on purpose, I think we all knew that with the way things were going, losing him eventually was inevitable.”

  “Yeah,” he said, his own voice rough.

  Molly rubbed a hand up and down his back. As though he was the one in need of comfort. “We have to forgive him, Jase. He never meant to hurt any of us.”

  “I know that.”

  She withdrew and sat back, regarding him with damp eyes as she swiped the tearstains away from her face with the heels of her hands. “You don’t think you can forgive him?”

  “I don’t know,” he answered honestly. There was so much damage and resentment built up. It was going to take a long time to get past all of it.

  “Why not?”

  He swallowed the words ready to rush out of his mouth. Words he’d held in for years out of loyalty and respect for both her and Carter.

  “Jase? Why not?” she prompted.

  “Because the day he married you he promised to love, honor and cherish you, and in the end, he broke every single one of those vows.” It had killed Jase, because he would have given anything for Molly to be his. Watching Carter destroy her happiness and then her safety had been gut-wrenching.

  “But by then he wasn’t really Carter anymore.”

  True. But that didn’t change the facts or the end result. “You asked me why not. That’s why. I couldn’t stand how he hurt you.”

  For a moment she seemed to falter for a response. Jase stared at her in the lengthening silence. His heart was thudding against his ribs, the pressure beneath them building, building, the need to blurt out his feelings so powerful it was excruciating.

  “But I knew he loved me,” she insisted. “And until he was wounded, we were happy.” Her expression turned wistful, a faraway look in her eyes. “Even at the end, deep down, I knew he still loved me. That’s what made it so damn hard.”

  Frustration burned in his gut. He resented listening to her defend Carter, minimizing all the damage he’d done to her and everyone else around him in the months before his death. “If he loved you, then he should have stayed away. He should have at least protected you that much.”

  Her smile was so sad it cut him inside. “He tried, remember? He forced that pistol into my hands and told me to shoot him if he ever came at me.”

  Jase remembered how sick he’d felt when Molly had told him the story and asked him to take the weapon away. He still had it. It had been Carter’s favorite.

  Her voice was soft. “In his own tortured mind, he tried.”

  It broke his heart to think of the hell that Carter must have suffered, but Christ. Molly was so goddamn beautiful, inside and out. She deserved so much better than what she’d gotten.

  Jase made himself take a breath and shook his head again, aching inside, the powerful yearning for her searing his chest. “It wasn’t near good enough. If you were mine, I’d—” He barely caught himself before blurting out something disastrous that would ruin everything.

  She stilled, surprise on her face…along with a deep, burning curiosity in her eyes that threw him. “You’d what?” she prompted softly.

  It took him a second to find his voice. “I’d…”

  Show you every day how much I love you, and how much you mean to me. I’d hold you and kiss you and dance with you. Make you laugh. I’d protect you, always. I’d make every other woman in the world jealous of the way I treated you.

  But he’d said too damn much already. Either his words or his expression had given away too fucking much, apparently, because the almost stricken look on her face made his lungs constrict.

  A deafening, shocked silence spread between them, brittle as spun glass as the endless seconds stretched out. He waited for her to speak, his heart in his throat.

  “We can’t go there,” she whispered finally, staring at him. “You were his best friend, and I’m pregnant, and…” She shook her head, confusion all over her face.

  “I don’t care about any of that,” he rasped out. “I only care about you.”

  Her lips parted in surprise, and it was all he could do not to bury his hands in those thick, spiral curls and bring his mouth down on hers. Kiss her the way he’d imagined for so many years.

  Claim her. Love her. Make her see what they could have together if she’d just drop the guilt and loyalty to Carter for five seconds and give them a chance.

  Not ready to withstand the rejection he knew was coming, he shoved to his feet abruptly and stalked for the staircase, unwilling—unable—to stay and hear all the reasons why she didn’t want him.

  “I’m staying in the suite tonight to make sure you’re safe,” he told her without looking back. “And every night until this whole thing is taken care of and I know you’re safe.”

  First thing tomorrow morning, he was going to finish setting up her security system. For tonight and the foreseeable future, he would stand between her and anything or anyone who posed a threat to her.

  Chapter Eleven

  Molly was surprised to hear the drone of a lawnmower coming from her backyard as she stepped out of her car the following afternoon. Who was back there? She hadn’t hired a lawn service.

  Frowning, she gathered the bags of groceries from the trunk and headed for the front door. She put them on the kitchen counter then went straight to the French doors that led out onto the back deck. Stepping out into the sunshine onto the freshly-sealed wooden planks, she stopped dead at the sight that greeted her.

  Jase was cutting the grass in her backyard—shirtless.

  An unmistakable surge of heat suffused her as she stood there gawking at him in all his muscular glory. He’d been up and gone before she rolled out of bed at seven this morning. She’d been glad, because after the way things had ended last night, she’d hoped a little time might ease the lingering tension between them.

  But this new development definitely wasn’t helping the tension any.

  She wasn’t blind. She’d always been aware that Jase was good looking and in great shape. She just wasn’t used to seeing his naked torso on full display—or reacting to it.

  Her mouth went dry as she
watched him, the almost forgotten, heady rush of arousal stirring in her blood. Something about watching Jase walk around her yard like this seemed almost forbidden.

  God, the look on his face last night when he’d said those unforgettable words to her. If you were mine, I’d…

  She’d been stunned, but also interested. Thankfully, he hadn’t seemed to be able to tell.

  Realizing she was still standing there gaping at him, she yanked her wayward thoughts into line and went down the wooden steps to the brick patio. He was facing away from her now, giving her an up-close view of the sculpted muscles across his broad shoulders and back, gleaming with a faint sheen of sweat.

  Then he turned the mower and her gaze slipped down to the gleaming expanse of his well-defined chest and abs. His skin was a pale-honey tone with only a little golden-brown hair on his chest.

  He stopped when he saw her and released the bar on the mower, the impact of that aqua gaze making her heart thud. The engine died, and suddenly there was nothing but silence between them.

  He dragged a forearm across his forehead, his sweat-dampened hair a shade or two darker than when it was dry. “Hey. Didn’t think you’d be back yet.”

  Meaning he would have made himself scarce if he’d known she would show up now? “I just got back from errands.” She paused, struggling to keep her eyes on his face, not knowing what to do about the irresistible pull he exerted on her.

  They couldn’t cross that line. It would be a stupid risk to take that might result in losing him. What would people think of her if she jumped into a relationship with Jase so soon after burying Carter—while pregnant with his baby? “I didn’t even know I had a mower.”

  “It’s mine. I wanted to cut the grass before the rain hits overnight. Your security system’s all hooked up too, and I installed a couple more cameras. I’ll run through it with you later.”

  “Oh. Thank you. I appreciate it.”