Dangerous To Love

by Toni Anderson, Barbara Freethy, Dee Davis, Leslie A. Kelly, Cynthia Eden, J. Kenner, Meli Raine, Gwen Hernandez, Pamela Clare, Rachel Grant

  “What about retribution?”

  “Things don’t necessarily work that way in espionage, Madison.”

  “All’s fair in love and war?” She was surprised at the note of bitterness in her voice.

  Gabe shrugged. “Something like that. Retribution is a funny thing. It tends to keep reciprocating and sometimes the better part of valor is to simply let things slide. The CIA isn’t likely to go on record condemning a British operative. Especially when the Agency had a part in his involvement in the first place.”

  “So they care more about their own reputation than right and wrong?”

  “It’s a gray area, right and wrong. As I said before it’s all perception. What we view as right is wrong for someone else. In this case, the accord is a good thing for the president, and a disastrous thing for England’s prime minister. And while it would have been better if they hadn’t become involved, the price of exacting retribution from them would cost more than the original transgression.”

  “I suppose you could call it a question of diplomacy,” Payton said.

  “A man died, for God’s sake. And Nigel may very well be responsible.”

  “It’s not as if Schmidt was an exemplary member of society.” Payton shrugged.

  “Like you’d know anything about that.” The words were out before she had time to think about them, and she immediately wished them back.

  But Payton smiled. “Things aren’t always what they seem, Madison.”

  Gabe was smiling, too.

  Understanding dawned. “You’re not really a mercenary, are you?”

  Payton’s smile widened. “As far as the world is concerned, I am.”

  “But if I were to access CIA secured files?” She probed, already knowing the answer.

  “You’d find Payton listed as a top operative.” Gabe’s icy gaze met hers, the trust there almost unnerving her. “But of course you can’t access those files.”

  “Nor would she want to,” Payton said, his unruffled gaze meeting hers, the only expression one of acceptance, and as easily as that, Madison realized she’d crossed the line from outsider to full membership in their little group, Payton accepting Gabe’s trust in her without question.

  “But no matter what kind of brotherhood exists between respective espionage agencies, you still can’t discount the fact that Nigel purposefully sabotaged our case. Three innocent people have died in the time it’s taken us to chase after his mythical man.”

  “Not so mythical, it turns out.” Payton tipped his head toward the forensics pictures of Schmidt.

  “So you think he meant to frame Schmidt?”

  “I don’t know for certain. It could be that Harrison stumbling on the connection between W. Smith and Ernhardt Schmidt was as much a surprise to Nigel as it was to us. That would certainly explain his beating us to the scene.”

  “To kill Schmidt.”

  “Possibly,” Payton said. “But if so, someone clearly beat him to the job.”

  “But you thought he was guilty…” Madison trailed off uncertainly.

  “For a moment, yes.” A shadow of something crossed Payton’s face, but Madison couldn’t read it. “But Nigel didn’t have a silencer. I checked. So if he’d killed Schmidt, we’d have heard it.”

  “There are lots of things that can be used as a silencer, Payton.” She wasn’t certain why she was arguing, maybe because she no longer understood the rules of the game.

  “I’m not saying he didn’t want to kill the man, Madison. Especially if his talking would have put an end to the game. But I honestly don’t believe he actually did it.”

  “Then who did?” Madison asked, frustration building.

  “That’s the question of the hour, really. And I’m not sure I have an answer.”

  “Not the British,” Gabriel said, echoing her earlier thoughts. “It’s one thing to run interference with the task force, and quite another to kill U.S. businessmen in an attempt to stop negotiations with the Chinese. There’s no way the legitimate British government is behind this. I’m guessing the only thing they’re guilty of is taking advantage of an already developing situation.”

  “And Nigel’s friendship with the two of you.” Madison saw a flash of something in Gabriel’s eyes, and her heart twisted. He wasn’t as immune to Nigel’s betrayal as he’d have her believe.

  “So we’re back to Chinese dissidents.”

  “I’m not so sure,” Payton said, walking over to the minibar to pull out a Coke. “They’d certainly be delighted to see the accord fail, but the M.O. is all over the board, and even allowing for personnel changes, I just don’t see it as a terrorist act.”

  “Great, that puts us back at square one.” Madison bent her head forward, rubbing her temples.

  Gabriel sat down beside her, his strong hands taking over the massage, and she leaned back against him, oblivious to Payton and what he might surmise from their intimacy.

  “As soon as we’re certain of the facts, we’ll confront Nigel. If we’re lucky, he’ll have information that can help.” Gabriel’s voice rumbled through his chest, her body absorbing the vibrations.

  “It’s possible he’s tampered with clues,” Payton said.

  Madison opened her eyes, something popping from the back of her mind to the forefront. “The cell phone calls. I thought the page Nigel showed us looked funny. Remember it was fuzzy. Especially around the entry that connected Candace to W. Smith.”

  “So maybe he changed the entries.” Payton opened the can and took a sip. “Or at least added the bit about Smith.”

  “Should be easy enough to verify.” Madison pulled away from Gabriel, immediately missing the contact. “All we have to do is request the original.”

  “Or ask Nigel.”

  “I’d feel better if we saw the original records.” Madison wasn’t as ready as Payton to trust their so-called friend.

  “We can do both.” Gabriel, despite his proximity and the warmth of his hands still resting on her shoulders, sounded more like a commander than a lover. And she sighed, moving to break contact completely.

  “Now?” Payton’s eyebrows rose in surprise.

  “No.” Gabriel stood up to walk to the window, shifting the curtains to peer outside. “It’s late. And we’ve no reason to believe that Nigel will run. I think the best thing is for you and Harrison to trade watch and make sure Nigel doesn’t do anything drastic. Madison and I will follow up on some of our hunches, and we’ll face Nigel in the morning, hopefully armed with more than speculation. Sound like a plan?”

  Except for the fact that Payton was leaving them alone, it sounded reasonable. Madison thought about making an excuse and leaving them to deal with the problem on their own, but she couldn’t.

  She was part of a team, and nothing, not even her burgeoning feelings for Gabriel should be allowed to stand in the way of accomplishing their objectives. Besides, her relationship with Nigel was unfettered by the past, and that fact alone meant that she was the most objective of the lot.

  “Works for me,” Payton was saying, already heading for the door. “I’ll go and relieve Harrison now. Shall I fill him in?”

  Gabriel nodded. “It’s best he knows. But let’s keep it between the four of us for the moment. I’d rather take this to Cullen when we have all the facts.”

  Payton nodded and slipped out into the hall, the door shutting ominously behind him.

  “So.” Madison stood up, turning to face Gabriel. “Where do we start?”

  * * *

  Gabe stood at the window of his hotel room, stretching. It was late, almost one o’clock, but in the past three hours they’d managed to accumulate quite a bit of evidence, thanks in part to Cullen’s long and very powerful reach, and in part to the task force’s myriad connections.

  Primarily his and Madison’s.

  Between them they’d obtained solid confirmation that the British had no intel on Schmidt and a purported trip to the Himalayas and that there had been no ballistics report connect
ed with the assassination attempt in China.

  Further, Payton’s friend, Lin Yao, had reported back to say that there was no known connection between Schmidt and any dissident groups in China. The man was evidently in bed with most everyone else, but not the Asians.

  And most damning of all, they’d obtained a separate copy of Candace Patterson’s cell phone records. There had been no call from W. Smith. The call Candace had received right before she died, the call that had caused her to leave Lexco, had emanated from Dreamscape. Identity unknown, but totally unrelated to Ernhardt Schmidt.

  Nigel had been playing them all.

  Gabe gripped the windowsill, swallowing his anger. Thoughts of retribution were pointless. Nigel had been following orders. In their world, ultimate loyalty had to mean something. And always, the players must keep that thought in the backs of their minds.

  The truth was that no one could ever be completely trusted. Not even a friend. The only person he could really count on was himself. Hell, he’d learned the lesson often enough. Even with the events that bound the three of them together, there would always be a higher loyalty.

  Other people who held title to their souls.

  He turned then to look at Madison, dozing on the sofa. What kind of life could he possibly offer her? Deception and subterfuge, certainly. But love and trust? He laughed, the taste bitter against the back of his throat. What a load of garbage. How in hell had he thought he would be able to have a relationship with her?

  Just because she was in a similar business didn’t mean she’d understand him or the game he played. And there was certainly no turning back. He was who he was. He turned to the window again, trying to push it all away, to wall the emotions in.

  There was no such thing as happily ever after. If nothing else, Nigel’s betrayal proved it once and for all. Everyone was in it for himself. And he was a sentimental fool to entertain any notions to the contrary.

  “I wish I could make it go away.” Her voice was soft, hesitant, but still it touched him deep inside, easing his pain in a way he wouldn’t have thought possible.

  He felt her hand on his shoulder and turned to face her, his heart hammering. “I’m not sure anyone can make it go away, Madison. But I appreciate the thought.” He started to move, to dismiss the moment of intimacy, but she tightened her hand on his arm and he stopped.

  “Don’t shut me out, Gabriel. You said yourself we were worth the chance.” She tipped back her head, her eyes searching his, her hand tracing the line of his jaw. “We’re two of a kind, remember? I know you. As well as I know my own heart. And I know you’re hurting. So let me in. Let me help.”

  “You can’t.” He hated the bitterness in his voice and wished he were stronger.

  “Then just let me hold you.” The simple words cut deep, leaving a burning warmth that felt strangely fulfilling, the idea of letting go suddenly more appealing than he could have imagined. No one had ever offered to hold him before. At least not without motive.

  He studied her face, seeing nothing but concern and love reflected there. Love. The word sent shivers of desire lacing through him. Not physical need, but a soul-deep yearning for something—someone. He’d shut out those kinds of thoughts for so long, and now here she was standing in front of him, offering herself with no strings attached.

  It humbled him. It shattered him.

  And, with a groan, he pulled her to him, his lips crushing against hers, his need igniting the flame between them.

  He stroked her face, her neck, her shoulders, unable to get enough. He kissed her eyelids, her earlobes, and the soft hollow of her throat. He reveled in the taste of her skin and the smell of her perfume. They belonged together, and nothing could be allowed to come between them.

  Least of all his own self-doubt.

  As if she could read his thoughts, she pulled back, her eyes searching his, a smile playing at the corners of her lips. “I love you.”

  He’d meant to say it first, to make a gift of the words, but suddenly all that mattered was that they be said—no matter who went first. And as effortlessly as if he’d been saying it all of his life, he told her he loved her, as well. The words new and familiar all at the same time. A covenant—a bond no one could break.

  He pulled her close again, wanting to feel her heart beating next to his. To know that this moment was real. Their kiss this time was gentle, reverent, and he cupped her face in his hands. Then passion burst back into flame and he wanted them skin-to-skin, fumbling in his haste to remove her clothes.

  Finally, when they were both naked, he swung her into his arms and carried her into the bedroom, laying her down upon the sheets, the moonlight from the window kissing her skin. For a moment, he stood, simply marveling at her beauty, and the fact that she was here, offering herself—her love.

  And with his heart in hand, he joined her on the bed, and thrust deep inside her, joining his body to hers, the act taking on new significance because it was Madison.

  Her hands massaged the muscles of his neck, then rose higher as her fingers twined in his hair, pulling him closer, moving against him, the sweet tension mounting between them unlike anything he’d ever experienced before.

  Together they climbed, higher and higher, until they were no longer two separate people, but instead two spirits fused together as one, the sum of the parts greater than anything they had been before.

  And somewhere in the darkness, lost in the magic, Gabriel surrendered, the last of his walls tumbling down, his heart demolishing his hard-won defenses, hope filling even the darkest corners of his soul with light.

  * * *

  Madison snuggled against Gabriel, aware that morning was near and there was reality to be faced, but just for the moment, she wanted nothing more than the feel of his arms around her, and the solidarity of the two of them against the world.

  It was a silly notion. A romantic fallacy. But somehow with him next to her everything seemed possible. Of course the world couldn’t be held at bay long, and there were repercussions to everything, but she wasn’t going to think about that now.

  “You’re awake.” His voice rumbled through his chest, and she snuggled even closer.

  “I was wishing we could keep the world out for just a little bit longer.” Reluctantly she sat up, pushing the hair out of her face. “But I guess we can’t.”

  He rolled onto his back, his hand still linked with hers. “Maybe we can’t stop the world from coming in, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be together.”

  “No.” She smiled down at him, her eyes soft. “But it makes it harder. I mean, if you were a plumber and I was a teacher, we’d buy a house and a ring and make two-point-five kids. But that’s not who we are. We’ve said it before. You spend months at a time pretending to be someone you’re not, and I spend my time trying to second-guess monsters. What kind of life is that?”

  His fingers tightened on hers. “Our life. For better or worse, it’s who we are, Madison. And I don’t believe that, just because we’re outside the norm, we can’t find happiness.”

  She moved so that she was on top of him, his breathing matching the rhythm of hers, their bodies fitting like two halves of a whole. “I want that. But I’m afraid.”

  His laugh was harsh, his gaze intense. “So am I. But I’m also determined to take the chance. To take a leap of faith. To believe in you—in us. It won’t be easy. We’re both headstrong, and reckless, and dedicated to our careers. But lots of couples are like that.”

  “Most of them don’t take their lives in their hands on a daily basis. You’ll want me safe. And I won’t be.”

  He reached up to stroke her hair, pulling her head down against his shoulder. “I will want you safe. There’s no question about it. But I also want you happy. And I know that to do that, you have to follow your heart, even if it leads you into danger. Just as I have to follow mine. Can you really say you would prefer that I take up plumbing?”

  She laughed, her heart feeling lighter. Whatever was in store for
them, they were at least starting in the right place—with trust and understanding. It was a heady feeling. She lifted her head to kiss him, loving the feel of his morning stubble against her chin, his breath hot against her cheek.

  They made love leisurely, learning about each other, giving and taking, hearts and bodies joined, keeping the world at bay for just a little longer.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  “He’s on his way?” Madison pulled Gabriel’s comb through her hair and gave a last quick look in the mirror. She’d had a shower, and was wearing her sweater as a shirt, abandoning the suit jacket and blouse from yesterday, but she still felt as if she looked the part of lady ravished. And despite their talk, she wasn’t certain she was ready to face the world with it written all over her face.

  “Yeah. Payton and Harrison are with him.” Gabe looked rested and refreshed, the only outward sign of their nocturnal activities the gleam in his eye.

  Despite herself, she smiled, and catching sight of her face in the mirror, he pulled her back against him, dropping a kiss on the top of her head, the gesture comforting and sensual all at once.

  She turned so that she was facing him, searching his face. “You sure you’re okay with this?”

  His eyes darkened, his thoughts turning to Nigel and his betrayal. “I have to be. There really isn’t a choice.”

  She nodded, reaching up to kiss him. “So let’s do it.”

  They broke apart, and Madison immediately missed the contact, but knew it was time to shift gears, to prove to herself she could be professional, even in the presence of the man she loved—especially in his presence.

  A knock at the door signaled that the time had come, and with a last glance at Gabriel, she took a seat on the sofa, ready for the inquisition to begin.

  Payton and Harrison looked as if they’d been up all night, and Madison was almost grateful to see that Harrison hadn’t had time to change clothes, either. Nigel, on the other hand, looked as dapper as always.

  “What’s with the tag team?” Nigel asked without preamble, his eyes hooded, suspicion coloring his expression. “Frick and Frack here hardly gave me a moment to piss. And unless I’m mistaken, I had a bodyguard well into the night, even after I retired to my room.”