Becoming his Monster

by Amelia Hutchins

  “That’s a beautiful fucking speech, but we don’t know how to close the gates or stop them from pouring into this world,” Ryder injected, growling as he stared me down as if I’d just insulted them.

  “The girl, Erie, she can ward the gates long enough for us to figure out how to close them. It should buy us time.”

  “She’s gone,” he admitted. “She’s been on the run for weeks, and when she does stop here, it’s only long enough to place new wards and get a hot meal and shower. There’s no telling when or if she will show up again.”

  “Call her,” I growled back at him.

  “She’s in hiding, and it’s not like she left us a number to dial her up on,” Synthia interrupted. “She’s got her own problems going on. We will find another way to close the gates.”

  “We need something now,” I pointed out, my eyes twitching as I considered just how many monsters were flowing out of those gaping holes in the world with every passing moment. More and more bodies were piling up as we stood around, waiting, wondering, and searching for a way to close the holes.

  “No shit, but there’s no easy way to close a portal,” Synthia said in frustration.

  “The only way to close them would be to destroy them,” Lucian pointed out. “The portal is a door, destroy the door, and destroy the portal.”

  “And what’s to stop another one from opening?” I asked. “There’s multiple entryways from Hell into this world, so how would we be able to destroy them all?”

  “Hell isn’t the same as the other worlds,” he stated.

  “Hell is the most dangerous of them all, isn’t it?” I countered with a glare. Lucifer was coming for Kendra, and I felt it to the center of my being. I sensed his intention, and it scared me that she was a target. “He will come for his daughter.”

  “Kendra has agreed to hand her over,” my grandmother injected, and my blood turned to ice as I swung my eyes to her.

  “The fuck she will,” I snapped coldly.

  “He will never stop, and as far as we’ve learned, he cannot be destroyed without offsetting the balance. As much as I hate to admit it, Lucifer is needed in this world. He and the angels alike have created a natural balance. If we destroy him, we ruin that balance. He will never stop reaching for the child, and she is a Nephilim. Which means she is not ours to keep,” she said softly, tears swimming in her eyes as she watched me.

  “That’s bullshit,” I growled. “He doesn’t get his child. He took away the chance of me having mine, and that babe isn’t evil. She needs to be protected.”

  “She is a harbinger, the antichrist so to say. Nephilims aren’t meant for this world.”

  I glared at my grandmother and turned to stare at Olivia. “Olivia is a Nephilim. She isn’t the antichrist.”

  “She isn’t of Lucifer’s seed,” Ristan pointed out as his hands rested on Olivia’s protruding belly. “His child is and will always be considered something of a troubling matter.”

  “We’re talking of an innocent child who didn’t ask to be born. One who was created because he thought Kendra was me, and now you want to just hand her over to that monster? No, absolutely not. No one is born evil. Evil is created, and if we hand her over to him, she will be made into a vile monster like her father, by her father. No, that’s insane and not happening. If Kendra fears what she carries, we will deal with it. We will find her a mother who wants her, but we do not hand our bloodline over to the fucking devil!”

  “And who will protect her?”

  “I will!” I shouted, my blood rising as I stared at my grandmother, who frowned as she shook her greying head.

  “There’s another problem which we came across as well. Mothers who birth Nephilims seldom survive the birthing process. Kendra’s life is endangered with every moment she approaches this birth, Lena. She is weakening, as if it is slowly sucking the life from her to grow.”

  “What?” I whispered as I fought the sickness that clenched in my stomach. This wasn’t happening. I hadn’t made the sacrifices I had to lose her in the end, it wasn’t happening.

  “She grows weaker with every day, and no amount of magic seems to stop the process or whatever is happening to her. I have tried magic, vampire blood, and many other things but none of them stop the problems she is experiencing. Her bones are brittle, her hair is lackluster, and whatever she carries is feeding from her, as if it is slowly consuming her as it grows.”

  “Olivia, your mother, she lived?” I asked, dismissing my grandmother as I was unable to accept her words. I’d seen Kendra, and she looked fine; tired, but she hadn’t looked like she was being consumed. Or had I not wanted to see it?

  “My mother didn’t survive my birth, no.” Her head bowed, and she frowned. “I’m sorry; I know it wasn’t the answer you wanted. She died giving birth to me, and I was left outside a Guild, as most of our kind is.”

  I swallowed hard past the thick lump in my throat. “Other angels? Are there any who we can ask? Can you ask them?”

  “I speak to my father, but they’re rather busy with the current situation of the world and the sudden overwhelming numbers of souls entering heaven. I do know that carrying a Nephilim can oftentimes kill a mortal, and sometimes what they birth is barely human. I can tell you that it isn’t rare for them to feed from their parents, or for them to kill a mother when they’re born into this world. Angels aren’t meant to be carried by humans, which is why heaven forbid them from mating with them. There’s a handful of Nephilim births recorded, which means our information is limited. I’m sorry, Lena, but even if I could manage to call my father here, he wouldn’t have much to tell you, and I think he’d be more inclined to murder the babe before she was born.”

  “I’m sure he would,” I grumbled as I rubbed my temples. “She cannot die,” I uttered as I turned to stare at Lucian. “She cannot die, do you hear me? I didn’t lose our child just to watch her do the same fucking thing. Lucifer isn’t touching her daughter, not as long as I draw air into my lungs. I’d rather fuck the balance than hand him my niece or watch my sister die because he mistook her for me. I suggest you figure out what we have to do to prevent both things from occurring.”

  “And you think I can fix it?” he scowled as his hands rested on his hips, eyes feasting on me in challenge.

  “I think you better figure out how we prevent it from happening. You are the one he wanted to hurt, and we’ve paid enough for whatever game or slight you two have. Lucifer wants to hurt you, fix it. Now tell me how we destroy the portals because I really need a win right now. So tell me, how the fuck can he hurt you? What would he do to strike you where it hurts?”

  “You’re my only weakness, Lena. I don’t care about anything else, never have, never will. I have been trying to save this selfish world so long that I don’t even wince at the idea of it being gone anymore. They’re so fucking hell-bent on destroying themselves that even their Gods have abandoned them.”

  Chapter 22

  Lucian

  Fucking Lena and her flawed logic! I’d watched her through the night, scenting the brimstone that clung to her flesh as we’d fucked, and bloody hell had we fucked. She no longer feared what our bodies did, she didn’t hold back.

  And yet I’d smelled his putrid calling card, and I’d ignored it, even when her eyes had closed, and she’d appeared to sleep. I knew she couldn’t sleep, she was like me now. Sleep wasn’t needed, nor was feeding per se, even though if I had to pick a meal, her flesh would be it and I’d eat, often. Her smile when she’d awaken from her dream walk had punched me in the gut, and I’d let her control the situation, or I had until she straddled me.

  Magdalena was a fucking beast in bed, and she wouldn’t take an inch if it were given, she’d take it all. But the fact that I’d been stupid enough to even consider her switching sides…that was on me and I knew it.

  I knew her, I knew her faults, her strengths and
every fucking weakness she had, and yet I’d thought her a part of Katarina’s and Lucifer’s diabolic plan for revenge and wouldn’t she have been the sweetest icing on the cake? Watching her mouth on his had awakened the monster within; the darkness had risen its head and peered out, demanding we eradicate the entire world to show her what monster she’d fucked over, and then he’d touched what was mine in the most primal way possible.

  Her sweet smile for him had ached, man, had it fucking ached, as if it had torn through the shields and barriers of what I am and ripped it to shreds in her wake. Her body against his had every soul inside of me screaming for retribution, to judge her and execute the threat, and then she’d smashed his fucking head.

  Glorious in her naked perfection as she bathed in his blood, uncaring that it made her a horrifying monster as she smiled, finding pride in the bloody heap of tissue and bone she’d created. Her hair painted red from his blood, body painted in the stickiness of it as she’d stood, staring down with a darkness that was more ancient, more primordial than any other creature in existence at that moment.

  I’d fought the urge to go to her, to lay her down in the middle of the chaos and fuck her to show her how turned on I was, how hard my dick was from watching my girl tear the devil to pieces with nothing more than her bare hands. She’d been beautiful. The most beautiful thing I’d ever seen from the moment I’d been created.

  My motherfucking monster.

  Then those cold, beautiful blue eyes had turned in my direction, and she’d smiled, she’d fucking smiled with blood dripping from her hair, from her body which had remained naked, right before she’d took his head for our son.

  This wisp of a mortal, the girl who had told me to go have pretty babies had become a killing machine, and the pain she’d released, the anger, I’d tasted it. I’d stood there, feeling every pain, every loss, every moment of her life that she released in rage as she turned night to day with it, demons to ashes that filled the sky as she alone took on an army of them, uncaring of the odds, or the danger.

  Lena had come back darker, yes. But she’d come back as a force of nature that even the Gods themselves would kneel to. Naked, she’d slaughtered a horde of demons naked, flesh painted in their leader’s blood and she hadn’t even once tried to cover it, rather she reveled in it. Her eyes had been wild with hatred as she took from them as they’d taken from her. No, Lena wasn’t the sweet girl who blushed when I had told her what I wanted to do to her sweet, innocent body.

  She was my fucking monster, and monsters didn’t fear anything. They moved on, moved forward, and she was. Gods help Lucifer because she was hell-bent on destroying him. When we finished here, I’d take her away from this place, show her another world where she could let that darkness out to play, to let down those walls and just be who she was without fear of the coven rejecting her.

  I’d take her home, to the one place I could release my own power without fear of it destroying all those she loved because no matter what she tried to tell the world or show them, Lena loved her people, all of them, and she still fought for them.

  She had never needed Lucifer to become the queen; she was already one in her own right. She fought for the humans when no other thought them worthy, for the witches who the world judged and found lacking; she was the queen of the unwanted, the unloved, and the fucking underdog. And she was mine.

  “You plan to crawl out of that fucking head sometime today?” Spyder asked as he escaped from the shadows, staring me down as if he could see the same image I was, Lena bathed in blood, naked.

  “Kallum is back?” I asked, staring him down as I watched him shrug the words off.

  “He’s been back, he’s no longer needed to watch Lucifer since he’s here now,” he admitted, and I grunted.

  “You pulled him out?”

  “I figured you’d be okay with it since we have our hands full here and figuring out how to close the portals without cutting Lena open to remove the seal isn’t an ideal task.”

  “It’s dormant, sleeping inside her womb,” I expelled as I exhaled and turned to face him. “What the fuck is up with the dancing bullshit? It’s unlike you.”

  “She needed a laugh, and I felt it. That need to know she’s still her, no matter what she has become. Open your fucking eyes and look at her, Lucian. She’s strong, but she is fucking broken inside. What she did for them, for you, it cost her everything. She may look healed, but she’s still that scared little girl who walked into that circle and died. She’s layered now, you need to peel them back, see what is waiting for you inside. She may just fucking surprise you.”

  “You don’t think she hasn’t? She took Lucifer to the ground with the promise of her sweet flesh and bashed his fucking brains in. Naked. Naked and uncaring that the entire world watched as she took on the devil in her birthday suit, with her bare hands,” I mused softly, considering exactly what she’d done. “She showed him who she was, and how much damage she can do alone to him, but she also went bare bones to do it, making sure the world knew what lay in those layers beneath that pretty smile. She’s not just one of the Furies; she’s more, which may spell trouble, considering she does still hold the seal within her. If it ever awakens and figures out just how strong she has become, we could end up with us all on the losing end of this war.”

  “You saw the runes she used to seal it into her flesh,” he muttered as his hand rubbed down his face as his sapphire eyes held mine. “Those were older than the Fae inside this Guild. The grimoires she still contains weren’t just from this coven, they’re of Hecate herself. Lena is a walking fucking killing machine, one who could set this world on fire alone. She cannot remain here once this is over. The Gods will never allow it.”

  “I’m aware, but they’ll never make a move against her so long as she remains at my side. They won’t chance me unleashing myself on this world or any other.”

  “Let’s hope you’re right. The portals are open, and heaven is teetering on chaos, which I’m sure you are already aware of. If heaven opens up, the angels will fall.”

  “They seem to be staying out of it for the most part. Those pristine fucks wouldn’t care if the world ended; their father would, but they have been itching to fight for millennia against the children He created. Seal the Gates of the Gods; leave the rest alone for now. Let’s see who slithers out to help and who runs. Hades has enough to deal with; we don’t need more Gods coming here to move pieces onto the playing field.”

  “On it, but they won’t be too happy if they figure out we locked them up for this fight,” he pointed out. His eyes lifted to the top of the Guild as if he was seeing her, where she prepared for bed. “She was something to witness today, even if she toed a line she shouldn’t have. Not many can say they’ve gone toe-to-toe with the devil and left him a bloody, lifeless mess of shit on their shoes.”

  “She was something else, but do me a favor and stop picturing her naked. Half the fucking Fae are already doing so. There’s also the fact that we need to sever that bond between you and her, now that it’s unneeded.”

  “There’s only one way to reverse it, and I’m not so sure I want to go there. That’s a line I don’t want to cross, and neither does she, not really.”

  “It’s not a line I want you to cross either, but I need you focused and feeling you with me every time I fuck her cannot continue. No offense, Spyder, but I want you out of her head when I fuck her, and out of mine.”

  Chapter 23

  Lena

  Silently, I sat on the bed lost in the turmoil of my thoughts as I processed everything that had happened today. I’d gone toe-to-toe with the devil without anything to protect me, without anything between us to show him just who had come back from the dead, and I hadn’t flinched. That wasn’t something the old me could have accomplished, and yet I’d enjoyed it. I’d enjoyed the feel of his blood as it bathed my flesh, painting it red as if it was war paint. I’d risen
from his corpse stronger, weightless of the guilt from luring him to me. I’d wanted to scream and rage in that dream walk. I’d wanted to rip him apart, but the darkness inside of me had craved revenge more.

  I exhaled and frowned as I stared at the door of the bedroom I now shared with Lucian, not because he’d asked me to stay here, but because I didn’t care if he liked it or not. I needed him; some part of me needed him to be okay. Maybe it was the bond we shared, or maybe it was something of the old me holding on to what it could still grasp on to without destroying it. He was durable, unbreakable, which was more than I could say about Kendra.

  I’d watched her tonight for hours after Lucian had left with his men to check out the damage along with the width of the portals to other dimensions that now were opening. Dominos, it was like fucking dominos, and once one world opened, another began the process.

  My mind replayed Kendra, how she looked, the way she cradled her stomach as if she carried some gift from God himself instead of Lucifer. A Nephilim, they’d called it: Half-angel, half mortal, and death to the poor girl carrying it. She and Olivia had both taken to walking the halls for exercise, and I’d felt a flare of jealousy that I wasn’t with them. That I’d lost my chance to be one of them cradling their protruding bellies as they discussed pregnancy together. I’d wanted to be the one who laughed with her, talked to her about the joys of it, and yet I’d never know that joy that spread on their faces as the child moved or kicked. No, I’d sacrificed mine because a monster had grown in his tiny, innocent soul.

  The thought of Kendra dying flared anger into my mind, licking against it red-hot and it also terrified me. I knew I shouldn’t feel it, and yet I did. I felt what was coming; the knowledge that Olivia’s mother had also died in childbirth didn’t help me. It was how she’d ended up in the Guild, and little to nothing was known about her actual death. I lay back against the soft pillows as I closed my eyes, forcing the turbulence of my mind to calm, the ache in my chest to cease throbbing as I considered how much longer she had before her time would be here.