Solidify

by Alexia Purdy

  His expression went dark as the air surrounding us turned thick.

  “Shit. I die. No matter what.”

  I was screwed.

  Malachi

  We walked back to my house in silence. We hadn’t said a word to each other since leaving the library. Phoebe didn’t appear to want to chat and kept her eyes focused on the horizon. I made a quick stop at the grocery store for some food; my pantry was bare since I was supposed to be miles away from Woodland Creek.

  Maybe I’d stay a bit longer. Leaving had been far from my mind as I kept busy with Phoebe, but it resurfaced during the quiet stroll home. She had a lot going on with a cursed Gorgon running around, even though she tried to act as if she was all right. I knew she wasn’t, especially when she asked for me to take her to her apartment.

  I didn’t want her to be alone, but instead of sitting around at my place, I told her we could grab my truck and swing by her place to gather whatever she needed from there. She had humbly agreed, and after tucking away my groceries back home, we headed out once again.

  Her apartment wasn’t that far, but it was still a good walk from my house near Old Town to the New Town area. At least I’d get to see where she lived. It was a tiny spot in the wall, really. I could lie down and cross the whole place in three short rolls. But she liked it and had fond memories of living there with her mother before she’d died. It was only two bedrooms, but it was enough for her, and the rent was cheap.

  What more could a girl ask for?

  The funny thing was, seeing it made me feel the utter loneliness of her place, which matched my own. There were signs of her mother everywhere, but none of a boyfriend or a pet. We were more similar than I cared to admit, down to the books stacked up along one wall, eclipsing the old-fashioned tube TV in the corner. I doubted she watched it at all. There were books piled on top of it, and a thin layer of dust had accumulated on the screen.

  I slid down into an overstuffed reading chair as she headed to her room to get her things. I was relieved she would be returning to my cabin with me instead of ditching me for this shack. It’d be a terrible loneliness to go home without her. She belonged there now, and I couldn’t ever deny it if she asked. I hoped she felt that too.

  “Okay, I’m ready.” She emerged from the rooms carrying two bags stuffed full, which I promptly relieved her of as we left her apartment. Once back at my truck, she gave her place a good long look before averting her gaze to her hands in her lap.

  I couldn’t stand her silence any longer. “You’re not going to die.”

  “How do you know?” She avoided my eyes.

  “I don’t. I just know I won’t let you.”

  She scoffed and turned, feigning interest in something out the window. She remained silent as we headed up toward the creek where my cabin was situated. I was already missing the hyped-up, spooked Phoebe. She was a lot better than defeated, giving-up-on-life Phoebe.

  “Don’t despair,” I said without looking at her.

  A moment passed before she finally spoke. “Why not? I can feel hopeless if I want to. You’re not the one on trial here.” The bitterness laced through her words burned, but I let it sink in for a few seconds. This was life changing, and I had to respond despite knowing she’d get pissed off at me for doing so.

  “I’m just saying to not despair because it won’t help. In fact, why not get mad? It’s fuel that can help you to fix this. You need that kind of fire if you’re going to survive.”

  Her eyes burned into the side of my face, but I refused to take my own off the road.

  “You’ve never had to deal with death.”

  How little she knew.

  “I see it every day at the hospital. Do you think I want to be the one on its doorstep now? It’s not fair.”

  “You’re wrong.”

  “About what?”

  I glanced at her before shifting the truck into park. We had arrived at my house, but there was so much more to say. “About me not having to deal with death. I told you about my father. Do you know how it feels to find someone you love dead? Regardless that he treated me like shit. Do you know what it’s like to have to earn your way in the world at seventeen when you’re just a kid and there’s no one else out there who gives a damn about you? I’ve had to do things to survive you’d have nightmares about. They weren’t always pleasant. Death followed me around. You think those rumors about me are just rumors? They say there’s always some truth to scandals. I may not have killed my father, but I’ve dealt death to dozens of people since then. Many, many times over.”

  My heart beat in my chest, feeling like it would burst if I dared look her way. My outburst was met with silence, and I took a chance to peer her way, making sure my expression was nothing less than that of a cold, hard killer. Driving my eyes into hers, I let her feel every single emotion as it heated up the interior of the cab like a fire between us.

  Her head began to shake back and forth until the fear I never meant to cause her grew out of control. She didn’t ask me what I meant by what I’d said like I expected her to. Nope. Instead, she furiously fumbled with the lock on the door of the truck before shoving it open and bolting into the forest like her life depended on it.

  “Shit!” I hopped out and rushed toward the tree line, catching a glimpse of her before the woods swallowed her up. I could have caught her if she had remained on foot, that wasn’t a problem, but she had chosen to turn and fly up into the branches, where I lost sight of her.

  I wasn’t going to let her off that easy. I’d already made the decision I couldn’t leave her alone. Not out there in the wild. Not with everything that was happening. If the Gorgon got hold of Phoebe, it was over. For all of us. Death was always at my door, but this time, I wouldn’t let it win.

  I’d been a contract killer before I’d resettled into my father’s house in Woodland Creek. The world had beckoned me out of this sleepy town only to drag me down. The only reason I had escaped that kind of dangerous life was because I’d been damned good at my job. Lethal and unforgiving. No one could tell me no when I wanted to walk away. My former employer had nothing to say when I left to seek out the peace I so desperately desired.

  But there had been no peace. My turbulent soul wasn’t made for such mundane things.

  When I thought about how frightened my ex-employer had been of me when I’d said I was finished, I’d retreated into my solitude even more. I’d done what they’d asked, over and over and over again without question. Without mercy. I’d gunned down, dismembered and buried dozens of people. All men. Psychotic men who owed my ex-boss millions. I never asked how much or exactly why they’d become a target. It was better to not know. All I needed was the paycheck so I could retire somewhere peaceful and the nightmares of blood, mayhem and death could ebb away in the silence of the world.

  It was why I’d come back to Woodland Creek after those years of violence though it had baffled me why I’d chosen to return. Something about it drew me back, again and again. In spite of what happened here, it had latched onto me like a leech, sucking on and never letting go. Now it's presented me with the ultimate reason to never leave again.

  Phoebe.

  I had to find her before anyone else could. I’d keep my promise to keep her safe, no matter what the cost.

  “Phoebe!” I yelled across the woods, hoping she’d change her mind. She didn’t. I could hear her heavy flapping with my wolverine ears as she struggled to keep going. My senses were hyper-aware of her in every way. Her sweet, addicting scent filled my nostrils as I stepped into the forest and stripped off my clothes. I stuffed them in a carved-out burrow I’d created for this very reason and took off running into the trees. The shift was instantaneous. I was already running after Phoebe in my animal form before anyone could have noticed the transformation.

  It was a benefit I had over her, and I was banking on it helping me find her quickly. The rush of air caressed my fur as I followed her trail. I had covered several hundred feet when I started fin
ding feathers sprayed everywhere. I slowed down, sniffing the air and ground for her scent. It was faint but amplified when I turned one corner past a gigantic boulder.

  There… I followed the tendril of Phoebe to the end, at the edge of a short cliff. Her scent deadened into a pile of shredded clothes. Her clothes. And pure white feathers.

  Shit.

  She had transformed under duress, leaving the evidence all over the place. I hoped I’d find her before she was shot down by a hunter and hurt, or worse, possibly killed. Inhaling deeply, I tried to lace her scent into my senses, embedding it to memory to help locate her. A faint wisp of it hit me from the west, and I took off running again, deeper into the woods surrounding Woodland Creek. It was near nightfall, which compromised some of my senses. It wasn’t a good time to be wandering these parts; the full moon brought out something carnal in a lot of normal people. For a shifter, it was worse.

  I was used to people being afraid of me, but now I was the one who was scared.

  Phoebe

  I shivered under the starlight, even though there was no wind. I was naked and lost in the middle of the forest. I tried to follow the stars and head east, but I never studied astronomy, and the clouds obstructed most of the stars anyway. I wished I had paid more attention to that part of my studies. Too late now. It would have been quite helpful at this point in my life. Instead, I got to wander for hours, cutting up my feet on the rocks and pine needles covering the forest floor.

  Why had I run from Malachi? I was rethinking my choice as I stepped on yet another sharp stone. He’d been nothing but honest about his past, and I knew it didn’t define who he was now. He was the farthest one could get from being a monster. I’d been jumpy. Impulsive, even. Just wasn’t thinking. Now I was paying for it with every scratch and tumble through the darkness.

  “Malachi!” I yelled out into the woods. I prayed it wouldn’t attract other unsavory characters, or even that Gorgon creature who’d probably done this to me. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shift back into a bird. I had the wry thought that there was probably some sort of built-in depletion of energy indicator that disallowed another morph. I was hungry, cold and exhausted, which certainly didn’t help.

  I’d used up my reserves, and if I were lucky, I’d get back to Malachi’s cabin without too much trouble, but I couldn’t be sure I was even headed in the right direction. My little outing had taken me too far into the forest, and I could no longer see the lights of Woodland Creek. This frightened me the most. I wasn’t the kind of girl who camped often. Especially without the essentials.

  A distance howl raised the hair on my arms, and I tried in vain to rub away the chill. I wanted to get back more than anything. Maybe Malachi could find me if I just sat still.

  There’s an idea.

  I crawled onto a large boulder sticking out of the ground which I’d run into a moment before. Brushing away the dirt sprinkled across its surface, I tried to get comfortable. It wasn’t easy; the stone was frigidly cold under my ass. Hugging my knees to my chest, I hoped the night would be swift and someone would come by. Someone. Not something. Especially not some wild bear, wolf or venomous snake. The more I thought about what could be out there, lurking about and searching for weakened prey such as myself, the more tightly I curled into a ball, afraid to do anything else.

  I picked thorns off my feet and prayed the wounds wouldn’t get infected. There was no way to see if the puncture holes were bleeding, or worse, torn up. The cold had canceled out any sensations. I had seen gangrene on people in the ER, and it was far from pretty. I couldn’t afford to lose a toe. Maybe I could, but I certainly didn’t want to.

  Come on, Malachi. I’m so sorry. I regretted it the moment I’d left, but like so many things we look back on in life, there was no taking it back.

  “Come on,” I whispered to myself, rocking back and forth to create some sort of warmth while shivering against the biting cold. “Any minute now….”

  “You know, it’s dangerous out here at night for a young lady.”

  I jerked my head up to find Malachi approaching. His face was illuminated by the nearly-full moon, but the rest of his body was obscured. Even though it was blindingly dark in the shadows, I knew he was as naked as I was.

  “Malachi!” I jumped to my feet and ran to him, not caring about exposing myself. It didn’t occur to me that he could probably see me just fine with his shifter eyes. He’d probably be well defined if I dared look down beyond his abdomen, but I didn’t. All I wanted to do was throw my arms around him, but instead, I hesitated and stopped a few steps away. “Are you mad at me?”

  He tilted his head with a quizzical look on his face. “Why would I be mad?”

  “B-because,” I stuttered. Geez, how could I have been so very wrong about so many things? “I judged you. You told me everything about yourself, and all I could do was freak out. I know that’s not who you are or what you’re about anymore, but I can’t take back that I ran away from you. I’m so sorry I did. I don’t even know why.” My eyes stung with tears, and I felt one trickle down my cheek and onto my chest. I wiped it away, blinking back the rest since I was desperate to find forgiveness in his eyes.

  “Yeah, about that. Look. It’s no big deal. I shouldn’t have blurted stuff out like that. It’s not like you can just chat about those kinds of things. I shouldn’t have sprung it on you. I’m sorry.”

  I stared at him in the darkness, the moon casting soft shadows on his skin. Knowing he was bare naked warmed my inner core in a way I’d least expected. I could see the faint outline of his muscles lining his arms, corded and firm. A shadow pressed into his arm where a tattoo of an animal, maybe a wolverine, was etched into his deltoid. Even his chest and abdominal muscles, rippling in the muted moonlight, attracted my gaze, urging my eyes to wander farther south.

  “Are you all right?” Malachi asked. I felt my face warming up against the brisk night air, and I was never more relieved that it was too dark to see my reddened face.

  “Yes. I’m okay. Thanks for coming after me. I honestly didn’t think any of this through.”

  I hugged myself, squeezing my breasts together, and a faint hiss of breath escaped his lips as he watched me. His desire permeated the air and sent ripples through my body. I could smell it, feel it, ache for it. If only I could tell him I felt the same. He was what I needed, and I wanted him more than anything, but my feet wouldn’t carry me across the few feet separating us. Nothing but a puff of air between us, but it felt like a thousand miles.

  “Malachi,” I whispered.

  “Phoebe.”

  We’d spoken at the same time, and we both paused, unsure of who was to speak first.

  “Sorry, go ahead,” he offered.

  I closed my eyes to search for a way to express my emotions. I breathed in, hoping to find the courage I needed.

  “I don’t know how this is going to work, but thank you for helping me. I know I’ve never said thank you before, this isn’t something like offering to change a tire or giving someone a ride. I just wanted to let you know that I don’t care about your past. I see you the way you are: kind, giving, concerned and loving. That’s who you are to me, and it’s good. You’re perfect the way you are, and I don’t want you to be anyone but you.”

  “You’re more than welcome, Phoebe.”

  I opened my eyes, breathing hard as we exchanged looks. “You mean more to me than I ever would have imagined. I’m just scared. So much has happened, I never have stopped to think about how I feel for you. And I do. I feel all this… for you. I feel so much, it frightens me.”

  I don’t know why, but I expected him to reject me. Instead, he closed the distance between us and pulled me into his arms, not caring about our naked bodies. His kiss burned my lips with an intensity I’d never felt before. It was feverishly good, and I wanted more. I wanted to tell him all the things inside me, about life, about death, about my own insecurities and dreams… all that before this life was over and it would be too la
te. I hoped I wasn’t too late to fix things with him, but the way his hands slid along my skin and down my back, gripping tighter to bring me closer, gave me all the answers.

  Finally, he did pull back enough to speak.

  “I didn’t want to see you go. I never wanted to see you go.”

  “Weren’t you leaving town?” I also pulled back, remembering that I had interrupted his attempt to leave.

  He grinned, his teeth flashing in the moonlight. “There’s no way I could ever leave Woodland Creek now. Not knowing you’re here. But that’s okay. I needed a reason to stay. I want to stay.”

  His remark raised the heat to my face, and I worried that our touching would lead to more things. Not that I didn’t want it to. It wasn’t a question of want or need. It was a question of if I was going to be able to stop if we did keep going in that direction. Besides, the ground was less than comfortable, and I already had injuries from walking on it, let alone, making love on it.

  “We should get back,” I suggested, hoping we were not too far from the cabin so we could finish what we’d started.

  He nodded. His hair moved with the motion, gleaming with silver highlights in the cold moonlight.

  “Yeah, you’re right. You’re freezing. It’s this way.”

  He slipped his fingers into mine and led me forward. My feet continued to ache, and I tiptoed behind him, hoping to avoid the rocks when he suddenly scooped me up into his arms.

  “Oh! But won’t your feet get hurt?”

  He shook his head. “Nah. My feet are made of leather.”

  I giggled and hugged his neck. There was something about him I couldn’t resist; snuggling up to his neck was a bonus. My body warmed instantly against his skin, and my only regret was not being able to enjoy more of him before we got to the cabin.

  Whatever came, I was ready. I knew my life would never be the same from that moment on, but as long as Malachi was in it, things hopefully wouldn’t seem so bad. It was time to find out.