Blue Plate Slayer

by Constance Barker

  Our shiny black limo pulled into the lavish horseshoe driveway in front of the main mall entrance. There were searchlights crisscrossing the early-evening sky all around the arc of the drive and a red carpet leading from the curb all the way to the gilded entrance 50 feet away.

  Velvet ropes held back the huge crowd of spectators on both sides of the carpet, and their camera phones were flashing constantly as our vehicle glided to a smooth stop, front and center. The general public – at least the 700 lucky enough to get tickets – would be admitted after the featured arrivals. A tuxedoed valet approached to open the door for us to emerge.

  Red was in a nice shirt and pants, and the girls were wearing their Verducci original Bridesmaids gowns. Babs and Deloris were in glittering silver full-length dresses, and Ruby wore her matching maiden of honor dress which was a beautiful, glimmering ruby red. My gown matched as well, but it was a metallic gold with a narrow cape, 15 inches wide, that went down my back from my neck to the floor.

  “Ooh!” Babs squealed in an excited tone. “They’re probably expecting some big celebrities to get out of this big ol’ limousine!”

  “Well, they’ll be sadly disappointed, then.” I said as our door swung all the way open.

  Deloris was by the door, Babs was in the middle, and I was all the way on the far side. Red waited patiently from the seat facing us, a big smile on his face.

  The valet took Deloris’s hand as she stepped out, and we could hear the crowd chattering amongst themselves, trying to figure out who she was.

  “I ain’t nobody!” Deloris declared loudly. “Just an old-lady waitress from a small-town café. Sorry to disappoint.”

  The crowd did a collective gasp.

  “It’s Deloris!” somebody shouted.

  “Hi, Deloris!” shouted another.

  “Mercy Howard must be in this car!” I heard a young girl say excitedly.

  Deloris just shook her head and walked a few steps toward the mall.

  Cameras were flashing furiously as Babs got out to loud cheers and more recognition. People clapped rhythmically as they shouted, “Babs! Babs! Babs!” She did a few steps of the merengue and twirled to everyone’s amusement. Then she kissed her fingertips and wiggled her short fingers at the crowd in a delightful greeting.

  “I have fans!” she said, turning back toward the limo for a moment, relishing every second of her time in the limelight.

  I could hear my name being called out from people in the crowd, and it quickly became a chant.

  “Better get out there, Mercy,” Red said with his eyes fixed out the window on the people. “These people want to see the pretty lady who solves crimes and serves coffee!”

  I rolled my eyes. “I seriously doubt that, Red,” I said, but my heart was already in my throat, fearing that he might be right.

  As soon as I put one foot out the door and onto the ground, the crowd exploded in cheers and applause.

  “It’s her!”

  “It’s really her!”

  “It’s Mercy Howard!”

  The golden dress that Dandy Dan and Petorina had given me to wear for the occasion glittered and sparkled, and I felt a rush of excitement go right through me.

  Babs was over by the ropes signing autographs for her admirers and having the time of her life. Deloris was just standing maybe 20 feet down the red carpet looking back towards me, shaking her head with her fists on her hips.

  “Let’s get moving here, Mercy. All these googly-eyed people are giving me the heebie-jeebies.”

  I just nodded to her slowly as I nearly froze at the sight of the excited throng. I might have been the most googly-eyed of them all. I was sure I looked ridiculous with my eyes popping out of my head and my jaw hanging down to my chest. I finally had the presence of mind to give a little smile and wave, which the crowd seemed to love for some reason, and then I turned back to help Red out of the limo.

  “These people have all lost their minds!” I said to him as I leaned into the car and helped him to his feet.

  “Nope. They just know a superstar when they see one, Mercy. This is how all of us feel every day when we see you in the diner.”

  I gave him a dubious look, but his nearly tearing eyes told me he was sincere. I took his arm, and we walked a step toward the mall.

  That’s when I heard the police sirens approaching and saw the blue and red spinning lights racing up behind the limo.

  An authoritative voice came from the police car though an amplified megaphone:

  “Halt! Wait for me, Mercy Howard!”

  That could only be one person, and the crowd was already buzzing with his name.

  “It has to be Brody!”

  “It’s Brody!”

  “Oh, my gosh! It’s Sheriff Brody Hayes!”

  The car screeched to an abrupt halt, and the passenger door sprung open abruptly. A tall, lean man stepped out, cowboy boots first, in his full-dress uniform as he put on his Sheriff’s hat. He turned back to the car, and someone handed him a large bouquet of red roses with lots of angels’ breath and small yellow wildflowers all around them.

  I swear, the crowd looked like those old newsreels of the Beatles arriving at an airport as he walked towards me. Young girls were crying and everyone was cheering as he took off his hat and handed me the flowers.

  “Curtsy to me, Mercy. It looks like we’re putting on a show for your admirers,” he said as he gave me a gentlemanly bow.

  I did something as close to a curtsy as I could manage, since I had never done one before, and the crowd applauded and made an “aww” sound that sounded like they were looking at cute puppies.

  “Oh, they’re even more adorable than I thought they’d be!”

  “They’re like Cinderella and Prince Charming!”

  “Oh, for crying out loud,” I heard Deloris mutter as she turned and walked toward the mall entrance.

  Brody leaned in to kiss me on the cheek and whispered, “What in the world is going on here with all this hoop-de-do?”

  He sounded confused, but his smile told me that he found it a little humorous and maybe even fun.

  “Turns out we’re celebrities,” I told him. “Go figure.”

  “Well, they told me there would be a lot of people and a red carpet, but I had no idea that we would be part of the spectacle.”

  I gave a big smile to the crowd and spoke softly through my teeth, “Well, let’s go in and get off this carpet. Wave to your fans, Brody – and stay away from the pretty girls.”

  “Oh, they’re all hideous compared to you, dear.”

  I nodded. “Keep telling yourself that.”

  Large muscular men in festive sleeveless tuxedos pulled the double doors open for us, and we entered into an enormous, opulent rotunda at the center of the mall. Huge skylights covered the entire roof, and the whole venue was decorated in gold and silver.

  “This is actually the world’s largest terrarium,” Brody whispered to me. “It’s a climate-controlled greenhouse, and the peach trees and grass are all real.”

  “Seriously?”

  “That’s what the Sheriff here told me on the way. They can even make it rain in here, naturally, without sprinklers. Those are condensation plates in the skylight, above the trees and grassy areas. Moisture will collect. And real raindrops will fall.”

  “It does smell fresh, like we’re outdoors.”

  “So, what all is going on here tonight? Anything interesting, or will I just be in the corner holding your purse while you have fun?”

  “Hey, I thought you liked holding my purse.”

  He gave me an incredulous look. “Um...it’s called sarcasm, Mercy.”

  Yeah, I knew that. But he knew it was his job when I was shopping for clothes. And it was my job to pretend I liked NASCAR races.

  I gestured toward a large round open area roped off in the middle of the big rotunda, which was really more of an atrium. There was a huge, 50-foot high golden curtain behind the circular area, which covered the mall entrance t
o Gina Stenfield’s Bridal.

  “I’m pretty sure you’ll like the runway show that will be going on there Brody” I told him. “It will be the new summer lines from some big designers from the House of Verducci, featuring Petorina Verducci herself. She’s the famous Italian lady who designed my wedding dress. So, you’ll see some miniskirts and swimsuits on some of those hideous young models.”

  He shrugged like it was no big deal, but his right foot was tapping rapidly. I’ve learned by now that that’s the equivalent of a wagging tail on a dog.

  “But I think the Outdoor Man store over that way is open tonight, Brody, so you don’t have to stay here and get bored,” I teased.

  “Oh, I’ll stay here with you, Mercy. I would actually be happy to hold your purse if you want to roam around.”

  I thought so.

  “So, where’s the runway?” he asked.

  “Well, Dandy Dan told me that the floor will open up to reveal a big round pool there, and then they will extend the runway across it for the show, all the way to those two pillars there.”

  “Fancy! Um, Dandy Dan?”

  “I’m sure I’ve mentioned him to you in our phone calls. Dan Taormina. He’s the host of the show.”

  “Oh, yeah. The guy with the pink bowtie. I guess I don’t have to worry about him going after my girl when I’m not looking.”

  “Ha! Lucky for you. He’s really good-looking and built very nicely, Brody. And just a gender-preference away from being my ideal guy. Maybe you should spend a little time in the gym.”

  “Mmm...you don’t seem to mind being close to this reasonably fit body, Mercy. I’m pretty sure you like me just the way I am.”

  I did, but I had to keep him on his toes. “You seem to be pretty sure of yourself there, Sheriff Hayes.”

  “Well, dear, um – I’m not. But I know you like it when I pretend I to be.”

  Actually, whenever he got into his Sheriff role and started talking like a man in charge at his office or a crime scene, I did like it a lot. He’s a confident guy, but it’s good to know that I intimidate him a little bit too.

  Jake, Junior, and Smoke all arrived with Brody, dressed in their best blue jeans, and they were wandering around the big hall with Red, gawking like bumpkins from a small town at all the glitz and glitter. We saw Babs and Deloris with them by a big hors d’oeuvre spread across the room. Ruby saw Brody and me, and she came over to join us.

  “Do you mind a third wheel, guys?” she said with her big brown eyes bouncing between Brody and me.

  “If you’re trying to stick us with Junior or Jake, then yes, we mind,” Brody said with a grin. “But if it’s you, then you know you’re always welcome, little sis.”

  She wasn’t his sister, but they always acted like they were the big brother and little sister each of them never had. It was heart-warming, actually. Ruby smiled and took both of our arms.

  “And Junior and Jake are always welcome too,” I said with a disapproving look at Brody.”

  “Weeeell....” he said, “you didn’t just spend three days and two nights with them, dear. They’ve been, um, tracking Bigfoot on the way. I really do enjoy them a lot, but tonight I want to get reacquainted with sanity...and my girls.”

  I couldn’t blame him, I guess. The Carter men were known for their conspiracy theories and pushing the limits of rational thought. “Yeah, I guess Ruby and I really are a joy to be around, aren’t we, Brody?”

  “I didn’t say that.” He looked straight ahead with a big smile that, oddly enough, made me feel loved.

  Chapter Eight

  “Hi-hi, Mercy!” I heard a sweet voice say behind us. “This must be your big hunk of man-candy!”

  We stopped and turned around to greet Izzy, who looked amazing in a tiny miniskirt and tube top. She looked at Brody, waiting for me to introduce them. But Brody spoke first.

  “You must be Isabel Lima,” he said, taking her hand and kissing it. “I’m Brody.”

  “Oh, I know who you are. Mercy talks about you constantly.”

  “I do not!”

  “I’m so pleased to meet you, Sheriff, and I know you're going to love the wedding dress that your bride has picked out. It’s a one-of-a-kind gown, custom designed just for her.”

  “I’m sure I’ll love it,” Brody said, as I tried to hide my excitement at the thought of my fabulous gown. He seemed to be quite taken with Izzy. “Mercy told me an awful lot about you too, but she didn’t tell me that you were the world’s tiniest supermodel.” Then he looked at me. “She’s adorable, Mercy.”

  “She is! You look gorgeous, Izzy!” I said. “That outfit is spectacular!”

  “You like?” she said with a smile, doing a full turn. “I designed it myself.”

  “Wow,” Ruby said, admiring her look. “I could never wear something like that, but you really should do your own line – for the young, slim, and beautiful!”

  Izzy laughed. “You’re too kind. I do hope to start a line someday, but for now I’ll settle for showing off other designers’ work on TV.”

  “Where’s Petorina?” I asked her, “I’d like Brody to meet the designer of my gown too.”

  She looked a little irritated when I mentioned Petoritna Verducci. “Oh, I’m sure she’s still trying to decide what to wear. She’s been changing into different dresses for the past hour. She’s probably backstage with the models right now.” She leaned in toward me and spoke more softly. “She hates models, but it kind of comes with the territory when you’re a designer, you know.”

  “Yes, I’m sure. And I’m sure the models are very excited to work with her.”

  “Don’t be so sure,” she said with a sly grin.

  “Hi ho, hi ho!” Dandy Dan came dancing up to us and reached right for Brody’s hand. “Sheriff Brody Hayes, I presume.”

  “Yes sir, that’s me. And you must be the famous Mr. Taormina.”

  “Well, Mr. Taormina isn’t really famous,” Dan said, “but Dandy Dan is! Call me Dan – or Danny if you want to get my heart racing!”

  “Dan it is,” Brody said, and then slipped me a weird grin.

  “Where have you been, Dan?” Izzy asked him, embracing him tightly and giving him a perfunctory air-kiss on each cheek. “I was looking everywhere for you just a while ago.”

  “I was helping the girls slip into their dresses, sweetie.”

  “Yeah, I’ll bet you were.”

  Her mood toward him seemed to flip very quickly.

  “Now, now, Isabel, dear. Let’s not show our claws in front of our guests of honor! You know you’re my favorite of all the girls!”

  He pinched her cheek like she was a little girl, and she quickly snatched his wrist away with her tiny hand.

  “Ooh! We’re feisty today, aren’t we? I like that,” Dan said as he looked at her hand on his wrist, “but it looks like you lost one of your acrylic nails, little princess.”

  She had beautiful gold-lacquered nails with silver French tips.

  Dan patted her cheek this time. “Come on in back. I’ll have Antoinette take care of it for you.” He waved to all of us, “Tootles! Get a nice spot by the circle, all. It’s almost showtime!”

  Izzy took a deep breath and tried to hide the glare she gave to Dan as he trotted away towards the curtain, and Brody and I exchanged curious looks.

  “Well, Mercy...Brody...and lovely Ruby,” Izzy said, taking my hand in both of hers, “enjoy the show. And I hope I get a chance to see you again before you leave Atlanta.”

  “Oh, we’ll be here through the weekend to see some sights,” Brody told her.

  “And,” Ruby added, “to have a nice bachelorette party for Mercy. You should come!”

  “Text me the details,” she said. “I’d love to be there if I don’t have a conflict.” She turned to go back stage and then stopped. “Oh, and Mercy, Dan will come to get you and your bridal party about 15 minutes before you do your runway walk.”

  “What!” I was flabbergasted. “Runway walk? No one said anythin
g about that to us!”

  “Oh, really? Well, when Petorina saw how taken the crowd was with you and your group, she insisted on it – and she loves the way you all look in her evening gowns tonight.”

  “She does?” I just stood there with my eyes popping out of my head, my mouth agape, and my head spontaneously shaking from side to side.

  “Just walk to the end, smile and wave, and then turn around and go back to the curtain. 30 seconds. Maybe less. Okay?”

  “Bu...bu...but...”

  “We’ll tell the other ladies to be ready,” Brody said with a nod to Izzy.

  Then she walked away towards the big gold curtain on the opposite side of the circle that would soon open into a pool – a pool that I would probably fall into when I tripped on the runway.

  “I’ll get the gang,” Brody said, “and you two save us a place by the end of the runway.”

  No sooner was he returning with the others than the lights started to dim. Spotlights began to dance across the curtain, and a hush fell over the crowd as the lights came up over the circle and dimmed over the large crowd.

  “Oh, this is exciting!” Babs whispered, barely able to contain her exuberance.

  The theme from 2001: A Space Odyssey began playing, with sounds of water and wildlife swirling around us on the most amazing 3-D sound system I had ever heard. Spotlights of different colors shone directly down on the circle, changing color with each boom of the timpani drums. We could feel a slight vibration from the motors as the huge panels above the pool starting to pull back from the center to reveal the beautifully lit, slightly-rippling water. Lights beneath and all around the pool began gradually changing color to the sound of angelic harp runs, like you might hear in a movie’s dream sequence, dubbed over the orchestral music.

  The crowd was completely silent as the runway began to appear, floating out from the golden curtain, several feet above the water, like a bridge across the center of the pool. There were colorful and wonderfully scented candles floating on Lily pads with large, fully-bloomed rose blossoms all around them in the pool.