Always Asher

by Lyra Winters

  His gaze shifted toward my lips, just like they did a few nights ago. I almost kissed him then, and I felt disgusted with myself. I was still engaged, and I couldn’t cheat on Preston. I wouldn’t be that person.

  “I know you still have feelings for me,” he whispered. His hazel eyes held a depth I hadn’t seen in years.

  “N-No, Asher, I—” My words were cut short as he moved one hand and grabbed my lower back, as he pressed me into him. A low whine escaped my throat at the contact.

  “How can you deny how I make you feel?” His breath was quick and his words pierced me.

  I squeezed my eyes shut before I ripped myself away completely. “I can’t do this, not now.” I rushed out of the room without glancing back at him. The walk to my classroom was a blur.

  I sat at my desk and sent a group text to Mags and Eve as tears ran down my face.

  Me: I almost kissed Asher. Twice this week. I’m so conflicted. I know that I don’t love Preston.

  Eve: End your engagement and be with Asher?

  Mags: Eve has a point. You’ve been in love with Asher forever and Preston’s a total dick. You said it yourself just now. You don’t love him. End it.

  I wiped the tears and ran a hand through my hair. They were right. I sifted through my memories, and my feelings for Preston were only ever surface level. He never let me deep enough into his heart for me to give all my heart to him. A light bulb turned on as I realized I was only still with Preston because of my father. He approved of him, and I had been the one to say yes. I realized that I said yes to him a few months ago, but my answer had changed. I didn’t want to get married to Preston anymore.

  Me: You’re right. I know what I have to do. But how do I tell Preston? How do I end this engagement? My dad is going to disown me completely.

  Mags: Fuck your dad. He doesn’t get to control your love life. Babe, you’re twenty-four.

  Me: I’ll go over to Luca’s tonight and have him go with me. I can’t do it alone.

  Eve: You should bring Mags with you. I know she’s just dying to see Luca.

  Mags: You bitch, I don’t know what you’re talking about.

  I rolled my eyes and sat the phone down to go get the kids from lunch. The day dragged by and my mind stayed jumbled. My students called me out on my air-headedness a few times during our read aloud.

  When the school day finally ended, I told Asher to drop me off at Luca’s. Surprisingly, he wasn’t as nosy as I’d thought he’d be. When we pulled up to his apartment, Asher came to the door with me.

  I gave him a look and he shrugged. “I haven’t seen Luca in a while.”

  I knocked on the door and Luca opened it. His black hair was shorter, which showed off his blue eyes. He pulled me into a hug when he saw me.

  When he glanced at Asher he let out an exaggerated gasp. “What are you doing here with my best friend?”

  Asher grinned. “Nice to see you too, man.”

  “We carpool to and from work. I had him drop me here because I needed your help with something,” I mumbled.

  Luca stepped back to let us walk inside. “Make yourself at home. Raid my fridge if you need something to drink.”

  I walked into his living room, and ignored the gaudy blue shag rug and sat on the comfy brown couch.

  “I’ll grab us something,” Asher said before he left me and Luca in the room.

  “What do you need my help with?”

  I sighed and hung my head into my hands. “I don’t love Preston and I want out of the engagement.”

  He let out a low whistle. “Really? Took you this long to come to that conclusion?”

  I picked my head up and glared at him. Asher walked in and handed me a soda.

  “What’d I miss?” he asked.

  “Baby cousin here is finally ending her relationship with dickwad,” Luca filled him in with a wink.

  Asher’s face lit up, and he smirked in my direction.

  I bit my lip. “But, for me to do that, I need a place to crash while I look for a place. Mags lives in a studio apartment and Eve still lives in her parents basement right now.”

  “You’re more than welcome here, Faith.” Luca grinned. “As long as you can handle the flings I bring home at all hours of the night.”

  My smile dropped and I groaned.

  “I have a spare room. You can stay with me instead,” Asher said.

  “What a magnificent idea. Yes, you should stay with Asher!” Luca nudged Asher’s shoulder.

  I smiled weakly. “I’ll think about it. Thanks, guys. I appreciate you both. Luca, could you help me get my stuff from Preston’s?”

  “Of course, but when do you plan on doing this?”

  “This weekend. As soon as fucking possible.”

  Asher and Luca grinned at me.

  I couldn’t wait to be free from Preston’s engagement.

  Linda’s nose scrunched up as she reached back and pulled the hair tie out, her blonde hair cascading down. “I’m just saying, you should be really careful. You don’t want to look like a—” She paused, and brought her voice to a whisper. “Whore or anything. You’re getting married.”

  I finished eating my sandwich and swallowed quickly. It may be lunchtime but it was still too early on a Monday morning to deal with her shit. “Thanks for your concern, really. But I’m allowed to hang around whoever I want. That includes Asher, especially considering he’s my cousin’s best friend.”

  She twisted her lips to the side before she unscrewed the lid to her water bottle. “Speaking of your cousin, is he hot?”

  I cringed. “No way. Besides, he’s seeing someone.”

  Okay, so that wasn’t completely true, but Mags was still pining for him. And there was no way in hell I could deal with her if Luca was actually interested.

  She gulped a few sips before setting it back down. “Too bad.”

  A few minutes later Asher came up and asked to talk to me. I reluctantly agreed and we stepped out into the hall.

  I was supposed to end the engagement to Preston this past weekend but I didn’t get the chance. He avoided me all weekend, which is why I couldn’t get a word in edgewise.

  “Luca and I were worried about you all weekend. We practically lived by our phones waiting for an update.” He crossed his arms.

  My posture slumped. “I’m sorry. There was no chance to talk to him. Every time we spoke I told him I had something important to talk to him about but he blew me off. He wasn’t even home more than five minutes all weekend.”

  His jaw muscle tightened. “So what’re you going to do now?”

  “After school, I’m going to tell him. Even if I have to go to his office,” I said.

  “I can go with you to do it.”

  “I appreciate it but—” My head shook. “I need to do this alone.”

  He engulfed me into a comforting hug and I leaned into his touch.

  “I missed you.” The words came tumbling out. My hand slapped over my mouth as I stepped back. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be saying things like that.”

  His fingers played with the ends of my hair. “I missed you too. I knew you felt something for me, still.”

  I sucked in a sharp breath and swatted his hand away. “I’m still engaged. Not now.”

  He smirked. “I only have to wait a few more hours.”

  My breathing was shallow and I felt tears welling up. “Why didn’t you wait for me?”

  He stood straighter. “I did wait for you. For so many years.”

  “But why did you leave me alone that morning?” My heart crashed against my ribcage. I knew full well this wasn’t the time or place, but I had to know.

  “Faith, I—” He edged closer.

  I shook my head and turned away. “Not here.” I hurried down the hall toward the cafeteria.

  We left school as soon as the students were dismissed. I hadn’t left work that early before, but I knew I had to deal with Preston and waiting wasn’t doing anyone any favors. Asher hadn’t brought up o
ur conversation earlier, and for that I was grateful. I had to focus on ending what I had with Preston before revisiting any feelings that lingered for Asher.

  When we pulled into the driveway, there was a silver car parked that I didn’t recognize. Preston’s car wasn’t there either. I tried calling him but there was no answer.

  “He’s not answering again but I don’t know whose car that is.” I put my phone back in my purse.

  He rubbed his scruff with an intense expression. “I’ll walk you in.”

  I nodded. “Thank you.”

  Every step toward my home felt like shackles were binding my feet. Asher walked ahead of me slightly. The lights were on and once we reached the unlocked front door, he yanked it open.

  Moans, a disgustingly wet slapping sound, and the smell of sex overtook my senses. I was moving before I even realized it. A bitter bullet lodged in my gut as I stood in my living room.

  Preston and that blonde from the coffee shop, Bridgette I think, were fucking on my white leather couch, oblivious to me in their own infidelity.

  “How could you?” My voice came out in a low whisper but was loud enough to stop them.

  Preston jumped off her and covered his exposed dick with a throw pillow and Bridgette grabbed a throw blanket to wrap around herself.

  The worst part of it? Bridgette had it in her to look guilty, and Preston didn’t look like he felt a damn thing.

  “You’re exactly why women don’t trust other women. You knew he was engaged. You fucking met me.” I shook with anger and pointed at the door. “Get the fuck out,” I told her.

  Her eyes widened and she jumped off the couch to grab the clothes she could find and rushed out of the house with her keys. She never spoke a word.

  I felt Asher place his hand on the small of my back but I didn’t take my eyes off Preston.

  “We haven’t had sex in months, Faith. You’re a great lay but what do you expect me to do?” he asked, as he held the pillow tighter. His eyes drifted to Asher. “You haven’t tried to fuck since this fucker came around.”

  “Don’t bring him into this.” My voice cracked. “I’m not the one who cheated.”

  He snorted. “I bet you have though. I’m sure you’ve been fucking him too.”

  My heart dropped into my stomach. “No, I haven’t. I could never cheat. It’s disgusting.”

  He glanced down. “You told me yourself you still had feelings for him. You can’t honestly tell me you haven’t even kissed him.”

  “We almost have, prick,” Asher seethed. I glanced over at him. His jaw was set and his eyes were murderous. “But guess what? She couldn’t give in because she was still faithful to you.”

  I looked at Preston who curled his lips at me in icy contempt. “The only reason I agreed to date you was because your father has a big name. Marrying you was his idea, not mine. Why should I have to settle down?”

  His words were a slap in the face. “My father? You’re fucking kidding me.” I rubbed my forehead.

  “No baby, I’m not.”

  “Don’t call her that,” Asher gritted out.

  Preston smirked at him.

  “Did you ever love me? Even a little?” I asked, remembering how doting he was when we first got together.

  The smirk never fell from his face. “I enjoyed my time with you. You’re gorgeous, you’re kinky, and you loved being fucked however I gave it. I just can’t be with one woman. Especially one who stopped putting out once I proposed.”

  I felt dirty. Preston said all that in front of Asher and now he knew too. He treated me like a toy, and all because of my father? I couldn’t fathom how anyone could do that.

  Asher stepped in front of me and his fists clenched at his sides. He shielded me from Preston’s gaze. “You mother fucker—”

  I grabbed his arm. “He’s not worth it.”

  He nodded. “Get everything you need for now. Luca and I will come back to get the rest later.”

  I hesitated at the thought of leaving them together before I walked back into the bedroom, grabbed a few suitcases and stuffed all my clothes in them along with the toiletries from the bathroom. My laptop and phone were still in Asher’s car. I was on auto-pilot, not stopping to let my emotions in.

  I went back into the living room, dragging the suitcases behind me. Asher and Preston were shouting at each other, about me. I couldn’t comprehend it. I was just numb.

  I didn’t love Preston, nor did I want to be with him anymore, but that didn’t mean his betrayal didn’t hurt.

  Preston glared at me. “Were you seriously going to break off the engagement? Even before you knew about her?”

  I slipped off the engagement ring from my finger. “I don’t love you.” I chucked the ring at him. It hit him in the chest and bounced off onto the floor, rolling under the coffee table. “You’re a pig. Mags was right all along.”

  His nostrils flared and he glared at the floor where the ring rolled.

  “We’ll be back for the rest of her things tomorrow.” Asher grabbed my suitcases and walked behind me out of the house I had come to think of as home the past few months. How wrong I was.

  I desensitized my body and mind as I sat in the corner of Asher’s plush black sectional. My thumb hovered over my father’s name on the phone. Asher called Mags, Eve, and Luca to come over so I wouldn’t be alone. I appreciated the sentiment, but I’d have rather been alone. I hadn’t had time to process what had happened.

  “They should be here soon.” Asher’s hand rested on my shoulder. “I’ll order some pizza. What kind do you want?”

  I shrugged. “I’m not hungry.”

  “Why don’t you call him? Go out on the balcony in my bedroom. It’ll give you some privacy.”

  I glanced up at him and smiled. “Where’s your bedroom?”

  His hand shifted and fanned over my collarbone. “Upstairs, second door on the right.”

  I got up and ignored the tingles from his touch. I trekked up the white-carpeted stairs and to his bedroom. I opened the door and gasped at how nice it was. It had an ash-gray carpet, a king-size bed, and the color scheme was gray and white. There were two bay windows leading out to the concrete balcony, allowing sunlight to flood into the room. I grabbed the handles and pushed open the doors. The night air whooshed over me as I stepped out.

  I inhaled the scent of the country air. As comfortable as I had gotten in the suburbs, nothing came close to being away from civilization. Asher’s home was breathtaking. It was a two-story carriage house with a long gravel driveway. The house sat so far back from the road, you couldn’t know there was a house on the property unless you followed the drive. Woods surrounded the home with enough of a clearing to make a decent back yard. I had always dreamed of living in a place like this. I could breathe again. I was away from the stuffy people with sticks so far up their ass.

  I shifted my gaze down to the phone as my trembling thumb pressed my father’s name.

  It rang a couple of times before he answered sharply. “Joseph Reed.”

  “Hi father,” my voice shook as I spoke.

  “Faith.” His voice evened out. “I have had little time to get a hold of you. How are you doing?”

  “I walked in on Preston sleeping with his client on our couch today.” It felt foreign to hear those words together. And fuck, it bothered me more than I thought. I agreed to marry that cheater, and he fucked clients with no guilt in return.

  “His client?” he clipped. “How unprofessional, immoral, and disgusting.”

  I leaned against the rail overlooking the backyard into the woods, watching a squirrel run around. “I was planning on ending the engagement today, regardless. He’s been terrible to me, dad. I don’t love him. Not sure I ever really did.”

  He heaved a long sigh. “Your mother would have known what to do.”

  “But she’s not here. You are.”

  “I’ll talk to his firm tomorrow, but there’s a good chance I won’t be able to get him fired. The firm probab
ly already knows about his actions.”

  “I’m not asking you to get him fired. I just—” I paused. “Wanted support from you.”

  “You always have my support. I apologize for introducing you to him.”

  “It’s not like you knew he’d do this. Anyway, I’m staying with Asher for a while. He has a spare room he offered to let me stay in.”

  He hummed. “Asher Wells? Luca’s friend?”

  “That’s the one.” I heard shuffling behind me. I tore my eyes away from the playful squirrel I’d been watching and glanced back and saw Asher sitting on his bed, likely waiting for my call to end.

  “I’ll send a moving team over to Preston’s to pack and move your belongings to Asher’s. Text me his address.”

  “I will.” I gulped. “And dad? Thank you.”

  “It’s the least I could do. Faith, are you going to be alright?”

  I smiled at Asher, who gave me a small wave in return. “I think so.”

  When I got off the phone, I texted my father the address and walked back into the room. I noticed the scent of cedar and vanilla in the air.

  “Luca and Mags are downstairs. Eve should be here soon,” he said.

  I sat down next to him. “You didn’t have to call everyone.”

  “I figured you wouldn’t want to be alone with me after that.”

  “Maybe that’s exactly what I wanted.” I slumped over onto his shoulder. “Don’t just assume things next time.”

  I felt his posture go erect. “Don’t say things you don’t mean. That’s cruel.”

  My hand rested on his thigh, and I craved the comfort he offered me. “I mean it. It still hurts me when I think of you leaving me that morning with no word—”

  He grabbed my shoulders and faced me toward him. His eyes singed with anger. “I did not leave you with no word. I left a note on the bedside table. I fucking told you I loved you on a shitty piece of paper. You’re the one that didn’t call.”

  My heart constricted. “There was no note. I-I thought you just left.” Tears welled up in my eyes and poured down my cheeks. “You never called me. You never texted. You took my virginity, Asher. And left me with nothing.”