Worth It

by Linda Kage

  I couldn’t speak as she drew closer. So I nervously shoved my hands into my pockets and soaked her in. She’d gotten a tan and her cheeks looked permanently flushed, with maybe two or three new freckles added to the three she already had. Her top and shorts were something I’d never seen her wear before. They made her legs look longer and her waist smaller. The differences made me uncomfortable. I wanted her to be my same, sweet, amazing City. But then I saw her feet, and she was wearing a pair of sandals she’d worn out here before. So I relaxed.

  “Welcome home,” I said. Then I took a breath and admitted, “I missed you.”

  Her face lit up as if that was exactly what she’d been waiting to hear, then she dove at me, hugging me hard. I caught her against my chest and wrapped her up in my arms until I pulled her up off her feet, so relieved to be with her again. I buried my nose in her hair and breathed in her familiar scent. It enveloped me, and everything in my world was right again.

  “I bet not hardly as much as I missed you,” she argued against my shoulder as she took a big whiff of me too. “I swear, these were the two longest weeks of my life.”

  I hadn’t hugged her nearly long enough yet, but I set her back on the dock and forced a cheerful smile. “So…” I demanded. “Tell me everything. I want to hear all about your trip.”

  Her forehead wrinkled into a frown. “And I want to kiss my boyfriend hello.” She stretched onto her tiptoes to reach me. “I haven’t seen you in weeks.”

  This time, my grin was genuine as I set a finger against her lips. “Exactly. It’s been two of the most miserable fucking weeks of my life, stuck here without you. When I start kissing you hello, I’m not coming up for air for a good long while. So...we’re talking first.”

  “Not coming up for air’s fine by me.” She tried to kiss me again, but I laughed and dodged away from her.

  “Woman, stop trying to tempt me.”

  She chased after me. “Then give in already.”

  “No. I’m trying to be noble here and listen to you tell me about your vacation.”

  “Screw noble. We can talk later. I want to make out and maybe revisit a couple bases.”

  My body stirred, wanting the same exact thing. But before I gave in and let her have her way, she stumbled and started to tumble toward the water.

  “Shit!” I caught her and jerked her against me. She clung to me a moment, breathing hard as she regained her balance. With my hands on her shoulders, I said, “You okay?”

  “Yeah. Thank you. I don’t—” She looked down to see what she’d tripped over and blinked in befuddlement at the box wrapped in birthday paper with a sad, mangled bow on top.

  I flushed, suddenly embarrassed with my pathetic gift. She was a Bainbridge, used to the best of the best, and I couldn’t even get my lame present wrapped decently.

  “What is that?” She let go of me to kneel down and study it as if it were some foreign object.

  “What’s it look like?” I had thought the words Happy Birthday splashed all over it would be a dead giveaway. Sitting next to the gift, I grinned at her reaction even as I worried about how disappointed she’d probably be when she opened it.

  “It looks like a birthday present.” Eyes wide, she zipped her gaze to me. “For me?”

  “Well, you did turn sixteen four days, ago, didn’t you? Or did you lie about that?”

  “No, I really did. I just…” Emotional tears filled her eyes as she set her hand against her chest. “I can’t believe you got me a present.”

  I frowned, confused. “Why wouldn’t I? It was my girlfriend’s birthday.”

  That was one of the things that had upset me most about her absence. I hadn’t been able to see her on her big day. As I swore to myself I’d be present for the next and all the ones after that, she said, “I don’t know. I just wasn’t expecting… You really didn’t have to. Just getting to see you is the best present ever.”

  I shrugged, strangely bashful. “Don’t get too worked up. It’s not much. Seriously. I wish I could’ve gotten you something better, or more, but…” I sent her a wince. We both knew I couldn’t afford better or more.

  Deep affection filled her gaze. “I have a feeling it’ll be my favorite gift, anyway.” Grabbing it, she tore off the paper.

  I drew in a sharp breath, wanting to warn her not to get her hopes up. Shit, I should’ve splurged a little more, gotten some jewelry or—

  “Oh my God!” Throwing her head back, she laughed as she hugged the book to her chest. “I love it.”

  I sighed and batted shredded paper out of my way. “It’s cheesy.”

  “That’s why it’s perfect.” After pulling The World’s Greatest Collection of Clean Jokes away from her so she could grin at the cover, she wiggled her eyebrows my way. “I can’t wait to lay some of these jokes on you the next time I see you.”

  Neither could I. It was one of the things I looked forward to most. Because it meant more time with her.

  “And there’s more?” City went on incredulously as she set the book aside to tug tissue paper from the box so she could see the slippers at the bottom.

  “Told you I’d get you a new pair.”

  “They’re so cute.” She ripped off her sandals and fit the ballet flats on. “And they fit.” She held out her foot to show me.

  I took her ankle and slid my palm up her smooth, golden calf. “Beautiful.” When I looked at her, we shared one of those smiles where you just look at a person and are filled with happiness.

  Content and so glad she was back, I stroked a little higher up her calf. “I was this close to getting you something practical you should actually wear through the woods, but then I thought that wasn’t my City at all.”

  She shrugged. “I would’ve worn any shoe you gave me.”

  I leaned in and pressed my lips to the inside of her knee. Eyes lighting, she scooted toward me, and I knew she was seeking a kiss on the mouth, but I only smiled and popped to my feet before holding a hand down to her. “Ready to see the last part?”

  “Last part?” Confusion reigned on her face as she took my hand. “What’re you talking about? There can’t be...more?”

  “This present didn’t cost me anything, but I thought…” I shrugged. “Maybe you’d like it.”

  “Well, where is it?” Glancing around, she showed off all her curious eagerness as she bounced on the toes of her new shoes.

  “It’s at our tree.” Turning to offer her another ride on my back, I said, “Climb on. I don’t want you to ruin your new shoes their first trip out.”

  “Knox…you don’t have to do that.”

  I winked at her. “Trust me, I have an ulterior motive.”

  “Oh, yeah? What’s that?” Eyeing me warily, she climbed on.

  Once she was in position, I reached back to grip her thighs and keep her secure to me. Then I glanced over my shoulder to grin at her. “So I can feel your legs wrapped around me and your boobs against my back.”

  “You mean, like this.” She slid up my back, purposely smashing her chest to my shoulder blades.

  I groaned and slid my hand higher up her thighs. “Exactly like that.”

  “Just think,” she murmured in my ear before pressing her mouth to the side of my neck. “If you weren’t so noble, you could probably have me naked by now.”

  “Don’t worry, I still plan on getting you there. Eventually.”

  “But I’m wet right now.” Her tongue slid around the shell of my ear and I almost lost it.

  “Damn, City. You definitely know how to get me going.”

  “Good, because you’ve had me going since I saw you on the dock, skipping rocks.”

  I shuddered, ready to get to that portion of the day, but I also wanted to wait until just the right time. I wanted today to be perfect for her. “We’re here.” I announced, turning her so her back was to our tree as I set her down.

  She landed on her feet and immediately began to look around for her last present. “Where…?”

 
“Turn around,” I suggested.

  She spun and gasped, slapping her hands over her mouth as she took in the heart I’d carved into the trunk of our tree with our initials inside.

  “Knox, it’s perfect.”

  I took her hand and studied the mark with her. “At first, I felt bad about scarring our trouble tree, but then I got to thinking…whenever we cut our skin and new skin grows back, it’s tougher there than it was before. And I liked thinking we were going to be permanently marked in this wood together where it’s going to be the strongest.”

  She looked at me, her eyes swimming with love. “Because we have an unbreakable bond.”

  I kissed her knuckles. “Exactly.”

  This time, when she leaned in to kiss me, I let her. The need in me was urgent, but I let her initiate everything and set the pace. She opted for soft and slow, only sliding her tongue along mine after a while of sweet, closed-mouth kisses. But as soon as our mouths opened, we both moaned and began touching. I cupped her breasts and she gripped my ass.

  “You’ve ruined me, Knox Parker.” After flicking open the top clasp on my jeans, she grasped the zipper. “I have to touch myself every night now, wishing you were there, caressing me. Licking me.”

  “Fuck,” I muttered, jerking against her palm when she slid her hand into the opening of my pants.

  She bit the tendon of my neck and spoke into my ear. “I keep wondering what it’d feel like if you put this inside me instead of your fingers.”

  I gulped and pressed my hips deeper into her hand when she stroked me through my underwear. “God, City. I do too. I think about it every single day.”

  “Then, do you think you could give me one last birthday gift?” She dug her hand into the front pocket of her shorts and pulled out a small foiled packet.

  My head went light and my vision blurry as I stared at the condom. Then I shook my head in wonder. “I swear, you could tempt God Himself.”

  “Then let’s get this bad boy on.” She pulled my straining cock out of my underwear and then began to rip open the package.

  I caught her hands. “Not yet.” When she looked up at me with fear and uncertainty in her eyes, I kissed her forehead. “Not here on the cold hard ground. I want our first time to be special.”

  Her eyes warmed. “But it will be special because it’ll be with you. And this is our tree. Our trouble tree. Where else would you want it to be?”

  “On a bed, preferably. With maybe some candles and mood music. Champagne and chocolate, or some strawberries. Something just really special and…romantic.”

  “Oh, Knox.” Resting her forehead against mine, she stroked me leisurely as if she weren’t even aware of what she was doing to me. “You know I don’t need all that.”

  “But that’s how I want it,” I argued softly. “I can’t give you much. So, please…let me give you this. Let me plan the when and the where.”

  She bit her lip. “Will the when be soon?”

  Working me faster, she tempted me too far. I groaned and pressed my back against the tree. Panting through the pleasure, I nodded. “As if I could wait much longer.”

  “Good.” Purring, she kissed her way along my neck. “Now will you at least let me do this for you right now?”

  “Only if I can return the favor.” Catching the tab of her shorts, I began to ease it open. When I slid my hand inside, she gasped and squirmed against me.

  “Sold.”

  I kissed her, and we pleasured each other with our hands while we both leaned against our special trouble tree.

  I woke to footsteps outside my bedroom door. It took me a minute to orient myself and remember I was in my new apartment, so the person walking past my door had to be my new roommate.

  Suddenly wide awake, I sprang upright. For three days, we’d lived together, and for three days, I’d been a tense, emotional wreck. We hadn’t crossed paths once since the day we’d moved in. He’d helped carry all my things up from the back of Noel’s truck, and once that was done, he’d disappeared into his room.

  I couldn’t say much about that, though, since I’d been just as blatantly avoiding him. But I doubt he held his breath whenever he heard me through the paper-thin walls, not the way I did. I mostly just sat around and waited for the next time his footsteps would pass by my door. I would listen to him in the kitchen, getting food, in the bathroom, showering, at the door, leaving for work. It blew my mind that he was so close now, so...right there, and I was doing nothing about it.

  I checked the time and nearly groaned aloud, wondering what he was doing up at seven in the morning. He’d worked last night so he wouldn’t have gotten home until well after two. I’d tried to wait up so I could hear him come in—since I was turning into his personal stalker—but I’d passed out sometime after one.

  Unless he was just getting in now—in which case I had to wonder who he’d spent the night with—but that didn’t seem right since it sounded as if he was opening the apartment door to leave, not enter.

  Wait. He was leaving? But where was he going?

  Throwing off my covers, I flew out of bed, jerked my feet into some house slippers, grabbed a sweatshirt, and rushed from my room. I yanked my arms and head through all the holes as I raced out of the apartment in hot pursuit. I had no idea why my curiosity was making me do this, but I was like a woman possessed. I had to know where he was going, what he was doing. At all times.

  Even though I hauled ass to catch up with him, he was halfway up the block by the time I exited the building, which, actually, was probably perfect. He might not catch me following if I stayed this far back.

  Knox had his hood up and hands stuffed in his pockets. He didn’t appear to be in a hurry—he just walked that fast.

  I didn’t think he’d go that far on foot, but six blocks later, I was panting and sweating like crazy in my flannel sleep pants and ready for a break and maybe a foot massage. Once again, I wondered why the heck it’d been so important to me to follow him. I was about to give up, calling myself insane, and go home, but he finally veered off into a parking lot, where he passed rows of cars to enter a building called Speedy’s Gym.

  I stopped in my tracks and blinked as he disappeared inside.

  Okay, so he worked out. For some reason, I had not seen that coming, even though he was built like a brick house these days. It just didn’t seem like something eighteen-year-old Knox would’ve done, making it even harder for me to believe he was the same person as the man I’d just tailed eight blocks.

  But seriously, how could someone change that much?

  Realizing I was just loitering outside a workout gym in my pajamas like a total creeper, I trudged home and crawled back into bed.

  When I finally fell asleep, I dreamed of my woods, and the strip pit, and a boy who apparently no longer existed. It was such a beautiful, bittersweet dream that when I woke again, tears clogged my lashes.

  The shower was running in the bathroom. Knowing he was in there, naked and soaped up, running his hands up that wide defined chest, had me once again fully alert. But then I pictured him shirtless and stretched out on his back on the dock, waiting for me to kiss him awake. And then I imagined him in the gazebo, grinning as he greeted my breasts. In the backseat of my car, making me a woman.

  My heart ached, and more tears filled my eyes as I mourned the loss of that boy. I questioned this whole ridiculous roommate situation for about the millionth time. I knew I was just torturing myself as much as I knew I wasn’t going to do anything about it. I was grasping at ghosts, and it was probably the stupidest mistake of my life, but I couldn’t seem to stop. I had to be close to him, even though he was a complete stranger to me now.

  But he’d agreed to this living arrangement first, and I hadn’t been able to end the hope that maybe my Knox could still return.

  I didn’t realize I had stewed in my depression for so long, until I heard the bathroom door open. Again, I held my breath and focused on nothing but his footsteps as he made his way into the kitc
hen.

  I kind of dreaded facing him, afraid I’d burst into tears if I did. But then I felt crappy too because I’d been nothing but a chicken these past few days, just hiding out.

  We couldn’t avoid each other forever, though. If we were really going to be roommates and make this work, we’d have to learn to communicate.

  Pulling on the metaphorical big girl panties, I whipped off the covers and crawled out of bed. When I shuffled into the kitchen, barefoot and yawning, Knox whirled from the toaster to gape at me. I jerked to a halt, not expecting to find him shirtless and in nothing but a pair of low-slung blue jeans. He’d wrapped his bath towel around his neck and the terrycloth covered some of his chest, but it definitely didn’t conceal how utterly ripped he was.

  Holy...

  Wow, he looked good these days. Even better than eighteen-year-old Knox.

  My jaw sagged. I think there were muscles sprouting from his muscles. And scars. I barely noticed them at first. But a white slash marred his ribcage while the one higher on the right side of his chest, almost to his shoulder, looked more like a healed puncture wound. I had to swallow, wondering how the hell he’d gotten so many scars. For some reason, I’d foolishly thought the one on his face was the only one he’d gotten in the past six years. But what if he had even more, more I couldn’t see?

  What if—

  Gah, I had to stop driving myself crazy with all these thoughts. He obviously wasn’t going to open up to me and share a single detail about his imprisonment, so I should just stop thinking about it.

  Good mantra. Not that it worked. The curiosity killed me, but at least I tried to play it off. Offering him a wave and hopefully what looked like a cheerful smile, I greeted, “Good morning,” as I swept toward the coffee machine.

  I kept my back to him as I gathered my supplies. Finally, he went back to fixing his own breakfast, and I heard him pull his bread from the toaster and slather on some butter and jelly. Meanwhile, I managed to keep myself busy until my coffee was ready.

  Once I had a fortifying mugful in hand, I finally turned around. He hadn’t moved to the table to sit. He leaned against the counter on the other side of the kitchen as he chewed his toast and watched me with a leery squint.