Running Forward: A Quick Snap Novella

by Crystal Perkins

  “Karli, we can’t,” I say, pulling her hands from my hair as I lean back.

  “I know, but I want to anyway. I want an orgasm that doesn’t come from my own fingers—or the Love Machine.”

  “Love Machine? I’m hoping that’s a vibrator.”

  She nods. “It needed a name, and I thought giving it an actual person’s name was weird. Like, what if I named it John and then I had to interact with a guy named John. Weird, right?”

  “Right,” I tell her, liking her more every minute I actually spend with her.

  “So, that’s a yes, then?”

  My cock is telling me to agree, but my brain knows this could hurt us both if we’re not careful. Her career would be tarnished by sleeping with a player. I wouldn’t have as much backlash from the media and fans, but the other players would probably beat my ass. And, if she plays me instead of someone else, that would always be in question. There’s literally no way for us to win in the situation. But I still want to try.

  “Not tonight.”

  She drops her head back and groans. “Do I need to schedule an appointment?”

  “I was thinking more about friends first. Let’s hang out and get to know each other for at least a week. If, after that time, we still think it’s worth the risk we both know it is, we’ll move to second base.”

  “Friends don’t kiss, Alec. You can’t just kiss me and then expect me to go cold turkey.”

  “One kiss per night.”

  “Four.”

  “Two.”

  “Deal. Oh wait, one more thing. Once a week, you need to have a cheat meal with me.”

  “Only if you promise not to make me do extra drills when I can’t keep up the next day.”

  “Not a chance.”

  “Deal.”

  I don’t know if this is going to be the best or worst decision of my life, but I’m ready to go for it.

  Chapter 6

  Karli

  “The article isn’t exactly favorable, but it’s not bad,” Coach tells me Saturday night.

  We’re in Denver, at the hotel bar, the night before the game. The article is dropping tomorrow, but as a courtesy, the team was sent an early copy.

  “You mean he didn’t say I fucked the whole team?”

  “Fucking is not mentioned, thankfully, but he did mention how they all think of you like a sister. He likened your job to a sibling, keeping them in line.”

  “Asshole. I mean, I always think of them like that, but I’m guessing it wasn’t exactly a favorable comparison.”

  “You’d be correct, and I agree he’s an asshole, but like I said, it could’ve been a lot worse. We talked about this before we took our jobs. You knew this was going to be an ongoing problem.”

  He’s right, and we both know it. I knew what was coming for me when I took this job. Hell, it came for me when we were at the university, too. Football has long been a place where misogyny runs rampant. There are some great owners, coaches, and players—and then there are those who are not so great. My job is to just excel at what I do and not give anyone a reason to legitimately doubt me.

  “So, let’s stop talking about it. We have a game tomorrow,” I remind him, not that he needs the reminder.

  “That we do.”

  We get up and walk to the private room the other coaches are already in, along with the players. The plays and players are already set for tomorrow, but it’s always good to go over things and make sure we’re on the same page.

  Alec is right in our path when we approach the group, and I hope no one can tell we kissed. I feel like it’s written all over my face. That they can tell how much I loved it and want to do it again, but I know that’s just me being paranoid. And a little thirsty. Okay, a lot thirsty. I know there’s no chance for us to be alone tonight, but I wish there were.

  “You ready for your debut tomorrow, Flynn?” Coach asks him, as I force myself to snap out of my kissing thoughts.

  “Yes, Coach.”

  “Good because if you fuck up, Karli’s going to having you wishing you were dead at the next practice.”

  The entire room erupts into laughter and ribbing. I roll my eyes, but I’m smiling inside. Alec and I can’t hang out tonight, but I’ve already told him how happy I was that I could choose him to start tomorrow. He’s worked hard, and he deserves it. His father is flying in to watch the game, and it’s a good thing I can be tough when I’m on the sidelines. I Googled him once I knew he was on the team, and his story hit me hard. If I weren’t aware that everything I do is watched and analyzed, I might let a tear slip out on national TV, and that could only make things worse for me.

  Alec

  This is it. This is the day I dreamed of as a kid playing high school and college ball. The moment when I get to run out onto the field from the tunnel. It’s not my home field today, but that makes it no less special. I am a legit NFL player. Imposter syndrome hit me fifteen minutes ago, but I shook it off and I’m ready. I earned the right to be here.

  “Let’s do it,” Will yells, and we run onto the field.

  I had one of the staff tell me where Dad would be, and I zero in on that section so I can give him a two-finger salute. And then I search for her. Karli. I look at the woman I want to kiss right now, and see her eyes sparkling, even though she appears serious. Instead of a kiss, I get a nod, which will have to do until we’re alone again. I nod back, and we both smile. I make sure to nod to the other coaches, but as much as I like them, my acknowledgement to them is just for show.

  As we agreed upon before we got out here, all of us players link arms in solidarity during the National Anthem. We respect those who serve and protect, but we know things need to change in the country. This is a peaceful way to show our support.

  And then, it’s time for the kickoff. We won the toss, so we’re up first. While I’m not on the field for it, my adrenaline is pumping. I shake out my arms, waiting for my chance, and then, it’s time. We huddle up and take our positions.

  Our center snaps the ball, and I run like my life depends on it, turning to watch Will launch it. It arcs over me, and I jump to catch it. I’ve got it, but I don’t get far. I’m so excited to catch the pass that I missed the defenseman coming for me. I go down hard, shaken but not hurt, with the ball still in my hands. The guy who hit me helps me to my feet, and I run back to my team.

  “Good catch, Flynn.”

  I nod to Will, but I know this is just the beginning and I need to stay on track. Unfortunately, that doesn’t happen. I fumble my next catch and can’t recover the ball before a guy on the other team does. I don’t dare look to Karli as I walk back toward the guys, because I know I fucked up. I can’t let it get to me, or I’ll be too scared to catch another pass.

  “Shake it off. We all make mistakes,” Zeke tells me as we huddle.

  “I’m good.”

  And I am. I don’t make any of our touchdowns, but I get us to several first downs that lead to them. We win by four points, and I feel good. I had a solid start in my first game, and Coach seems happy. Karli says we’ll talk at practice tomorrow, but I know I’ll see her at home tonight—for kisses and critiques.

  I only have time for a quick chat with Dad before we have to catch our plane home. He meets me outside the locker room, hugging me tight.

  “I’m so proud of you, Alec.”

  “Thanks, Dad.”

  “After everything you did for us, I know your mom’s looking down from Heaven and smiling, too.”

  “You’re gonna make me cry in front of my teammates.”

  “Nothing wrong with some tears. You’re man enough to show your emotions.”

  “I know. You taught me well. I wish we had more time right now, but I want you to come out to my first home game in Seattle.”

  “I’ll be there. I love you, son.”

  “I love you, too.”

  Today was a good day. Maybe not the best it could have been, but it was definitely good. I played in my first NFL game, and I didn’t comple
tely screw it up. I’m calling that a win.

  Chapter 7

  Alec

  I’m waiting for Karli to get home when a knock echoes through my living room. A thrill of expectation surges through me, until I open the door to find another delivery driver.

  “Thanks,” I tell him, taking the food and studiously ignoring the door of the townhouse to my left opening.

  “Can I have my food?”

  Karli looks everywhere but at me, and I hate it. Especially because I don’t know the reason. We’ve hung out every night, and while nothing more than kissing has occurred, it’s been really great.

  “Aren’t you coming over?”

  “Not tonight. I have some thinking to do.”

  “About us?”

  “There isn’t an ‘us,’ Alec. Not officially. And maybe there shouldn’t be.”

  “Don’t you think I should be part of this discussion?” I ask, pushing her because I’m not ready to just walk away. I don’t think she is either.

  “Fine. You can come over. Bring my food.”

  I don’t argue because I recognize this for what it is. She needs to be in her own environment to deal with whatever’s bothering her. I couldn’t care less where we talk, as long as we work things out. After grabbing my keys from the table by the door, I lock it, and follow her into her townhouse.

  “Here’s your food. Maybe you should eat some before we talk because you seem hangry,” I say, setting the bag carefully on her coffee table.

  “Did you just insult me? Because you can go right back home if you’re not here to listen.”

  I hold my hands up. “Just observing. I’ll listen, but I honestly don’t get why you’re so mad.”

  “You fucked up last night, Alec. We’re still new in this relationship or whatever, but you know how important my job is to me and yet you fuck up during your first game!”

  “One, I didn’t fuck up on purpose, and my mistakes aren’t going to reflect on you. Two, you said ‘relationship’ so that means you’re going to wear my Super Bowl ring when I get one, right?”

  The look she gives me would make a lesser man fall to his knees. I’m more than willing to get on my knees before her, but this might not be the right time to suggest that.

  “One, because you didn’t fuck up on purpose, it will reflect on me as your coach. Two, I’ll have my own damn ring if we win. Don’t you dare jinx us by acting like it’s a given. And three, go home, Alec. I’m not in the mood to deal with you tonight.”

  The fatigue I hear in her voice sobers me, and I know now that I’ve messed up. Both on the field, which I already admitted, but here, too. I should never have made light of her job—or us. We’ve been having a good time hanging out and getting to know each other. I don’t want that to stop.

  “I’m sorry,” I tell her, hoping she can hear the honesty in my words. “For messing up on the field, and for making light of how it’s going to affect you.”

  She closes her eyes for a minute before speaking, and I’m honestly not sure if she’s going to say anything at all. “I don’t know how to navigate this now that you’re playing. When it was just practices, I could compartmentalize being your coach there and wanting more here. But now, how you actually run and catch—or not—matters to both of our jobs. I let myself block it out, but I can’t do that.”

  “We can deal with this, if we do it together.” I mean it more than I’ve meant anything else I ever said to her.

  “Can we, though? What happens when I choose to play one of the other guys instead of you? Besides the media going after me for benching their golden boy, what will that mean for us?”

  “It’ll mean you’re doing your job, Karli. Just like I expect you to.”

  Karli

  Alec says the words. The words I thought I needed to hear, but I’m not sure I believe them now.

  “Just like that. You’d be totally okay with it and not try to punish me.”

  Reaching out to cup my cheeks in his hands, he looks me in the eye. “Yes. Just like that. Will it suck? Totally. Will I be embarrassed? Definitely. Will I blame you? Never. If I don’t play, that’s on me and how I performed at practice. And for the record, I would never punish you for doing your job, or anything else.”

  “You say that now, but I don’t know. Maybe we should just put what we started on hold.” I move away from his touch. If I don’t, I might want to take back the words. Hell, I already want to take back the words. I just don’t know how to navigate what’s happening between us. How can I be both angry at him and want to kiss him at the same time?

  “Is that what you really want?”

  No. I really want him to kiss me—and more. I want what we’ve been slowly moving toward. Hell, I want it all. I just don’t know if I can have it. This is a mess. I’m a mess.

  I turn back to face him. “I’m scared, but no. I don’t want to stop this.”

  “Good, because I might not be able to get out of bed every day if I knew I couldn’t kiss you. And how could I kick ass on the field if that happens?”

  I roll my eyes and shove him on the shoulder. “Don’t even joke about that.”

  “You’re right. Mental health isn’t a joke. It would be hard, though. This is me being completely honest right now.”

  “If we’re being completely honest, it would be hard for me, too.”

  “Does that mean I can kiss you now?” he asks, looking so sexy and goofy in his Mario t-shirt and loose jeans.

  I tug on his t-shirt because I love doing it, and then I kiss him instead. The one kiss leads to two and then more until I lose count. Somehow, we end up on the couch with me straddling him. Actually, who am I kidding? We almost always end up this way.

  Once we come up for air, I try to flatten his hair I’ve made stick up everywhere, and I tell him something that should let him know I was never going to completely shut him out. “I ordered you some grilled chicken, broccoli, and fries. I really am hungry, so let’s eat before I beat you at Battleship again.”

  “You wish.”

  “Um, no, I always win.”

  He opens his mouth to respond and then closes it for a moment. “How likely am I to get thrown out if I mention that you always sit me in front of a mirror when we play?”

  “I don’t know what you mean,” I say, knowing exactly what he means.

  Battleship is hard, and I don’t like leaving things up to chance. While I don’t cheat at anything else, I do use some extra help with this one game.

  “Uh-huh. So, you’re good with me sitting right here when we play tonight?”

  Dammit. He’s really going to make me admit it. “Fine, we both know I cheat. I like to win, and I’m not good at guessing. I beat you at Trivial Pursuit fair and square.”

  “You do,” he concedes, “and tonight, I’m going to beat you at Battleship, fair and square.”

  “I guess I can’t win all the time.”

  A slow grin spreads across his lips. “No one can, Kar, but I’m going to do my best to help make that happen for you on the field. I’m going to screw up because I’m human, but I promise you’ll always get my best.”

  I kiss him softly, before pulling back so I’m the one making eye contact this time. “I know. I can’t promise to not get stressed out when things don’t go our way in a game, but I promise to try not to take it out on you here.”

  He’ll feel my wrath at practice once I get my ass chewed out tomorrow because I know I’ll be blamed for not having prepared him better for every instance. But here is going to be about great food, great kisses, and great board games, too.

  Chapter 8

  Karli

  “What happened there with Flynn?” Coach asks me the next day when the coaching staff meets to go over the game tapes.

  I knew this was coming, and so did Alec. He offered me a bunch of answers to give my boss, but in the end, I’m choosing what I know is the truth.

  “He was excited to be playing in his first NFL game and fumbled his hands—and th
e ball. We-I should have expected it, but I forget he’s a rookie sometimes.”

  “You’re paid to remember that and prepare him for it.”

  I want to say that it’s not just my job to do that. There’s a whole staff of coaches, doctors, PR people, and more who should be preparing him. But he did great with PR, and although he was careless, he wasn’t hurt. This is on me, and I need to own it.

  “I know. It won’t happen again.”

  “Maybe we shouldn’t play him this weekend,” one of the other offensive coaches says.

  “I’ll decide that after I see how practices go this week,” I tell him, not letting my anger hide this time.

  Too often in the past, I’ve done it, but not now. I may be a woman, and I may have had an unorthodox journey to where I am now, but I do a damn good job. I’m not going to sit back and pretend I don’t.

  “Whoa, calm down Karli. I was just offering my advice,” the idiot tells me.

  I fix him with the glare normally reserved for the guys on the team when they’ve been treating me like their little sister instead of their boss. “When you offer it in the same manner to anyone else in this room, maybe I’ll ‘calm down’ but until then, you should keep your mouth closed.”

  Coach has stayed quiet because he knows I can handle myself, but he speaks up now. “Karli has more than proven herself, and when she needs advice, she asks for it. I trust a discussion like this will not happen again.”

  There are a few grumbles, but no one comes right out and disagrees. A part of me wants to call them all out and fight, but another part of me knows that’s not the smart way to do things. I’m the rare woman in a man’s world and letting any emotion show is always going to cause me problems. Sometimes, I’m happy to pay the price of being labeled as “difficult” to shut a misogynist up, but I needed to pick my battles and focus on winning the war.