After the Accident

by Julian Armitstead

  Not since

  There’s nothing to sing about.

  Scene Five

  Leon in jail, somewhere near the beginning of his custodial sentence.

  Leon

  Eight do four.

  Eight do four.

  (Beat.)

  Lawyer says:

  ‘Could have been worse, Leon,

  Could have been fourteen.’

  Fourteen?

  Course that’s fourteen do seven.

  Everything cut in half like.

  Like my mate.

  Like Freddie.

  (Beat.)

  Mr E says:

  ‘You have something of value,

  Leon.

  You just got to go find it, that’s all.

  And there are things here that can help you do that:

  Opportunities right here.’

  I say,

  ‘Bollocks.

  Just biding my time, mate:

  Eight do four,

  Eight do four!’

  Do you get me?

  (Beat.)

  Hard case, me.

  PYO:

  Persistent Young Offender.

  One count of burglary,

  One count of taking without owner’s consent.

  One count of driving without a licence,

  Two counts of causing death by dangerous driving.

  Sixty-five previous offences to be taken into consideration.

  (Beat.)

  Have you ever seen someone cut in half?

  Pair of legs!

  So don’t look at me like that.

  I said,

  Don’t look at me like that!

  (Small pause.)

  We didn’t go looking for her, all right?

  We’re not:

  What they say.

  We’re not:

  That thing.

  (Beat; then with sudden vulnerability.)

  It was an accident.

  But you won’t read that in the papers, will you.

  Fucking hell.

  There’s a lot you won’t read in the papers.

  Scene Six

  Jimmy and Petra at the therapist, a couples session.

  Jimmy

  (explanatory, to the audience)

  Couples session.

  Three months before the conference.

  Pause, waiting for something to come up. Then Petra starts up, as if out of nowhere:

  Petra

  I had a funny conversation the other day.

  Veronica,

  This childhood friend.

  Well, she came over for the day.

  I hadn’t seen her in years.

  In our youth

  We were always fighting.

  You know the kind of thing:

  When you have a mate,

  Who’s like,

  The nearest thing you have to a sister.

  (Beat.)

  Well, anyway,

  We both fancied this boy.

  This gorgeous young monkey.

  Don’t know what it was about him.

  Must have been his arse,

  Cos I don’t remember his conversation.

  But she’s the one to get the date.

  She always is,

  While I’m hiding out in some corner.

  (Beat.)

  So one afternoon,

  While she’s putting on this lip gloss that I’ve bought her

  For the very purpose of entertaining His Gorgeousness:

  While her back is turned,

  I smear something on her hairbrush.

  Something so foul

  I can scarcely believe

  I’m doing it!

  Oh, God,

  How old was I at the time,

  Jimmy?

  Jimmy

  You were fifteen.

  Petra

  Well, that’s thirty years ago!

  And I remember it like yesterday.

  Funny thing is,

  When she came back from her date,

  She never says a word.

  Not one word!

  (Beat.)

  Well, this little act of sabotage

  Maybe I’m imagining it,

  But it seemed to coincide

  With an extraordinary reversal

  In our respective fortunes.

  Because from that day on,

  And I kid you not,

  While I become the achiever,

  The successful journalist and wife

  You see before you,

  Veronica hangs back in the shadows,

  As though life

  Refuses to release her from her starting box.

  Jimmy

  That’s a bit unfair.

  Petra

  Well she’s had a bloody time of it.

  Jimmy

  We’ve all had a bloody time of it.

  Petra

  All right!

  Jimmy

  So why bring it up?

  Petra

  Anyway,

  I heard nothing more about that boy,

  Until,

  A couple of weeks ago:

  Veronica and I

  We meet up.

  And at the end of a particularly intense discussion

  About the different paths life has taken us,

  And about what’s happened since –

  (Beat – she won’t say it.)

  You know.

  About all this

  Therapy

  We’re taking,

  This endless round of conversation.

  I tell her how Jimmy wants us

  To meet

  The young toe-rag who did this to us.

  How Jimmy’s got this

  Bee in his bonnet,

  This bit

  Between his teeth.

  And I can feel the compassion welling up in her:

  This unbearable

  Sense of pity.

  And I want to say:

  ‘For God’s sake, Veronica,

  For God’s sake!’

  Jimmy

  Is this supposed to make you feel better?

  Petra

  Isn’t that what we’re here for?

  To talk.

  About anything

  And everything?

  To communicate:

  To get things moving?

  (Beat.)

  So instead I say:

  ‘You remember that boy?’

  And I mention his name.

  I can even remember his name!

  Steven!

  It was Steven!

  Jimmy

  No.

  That’s not his name.

  That’s not his name!

  Petra

  And I even tell her what I did.

  I tell her:

  ‘If he didn’t like you, Veronica,

  It must have been because of what

  You smelled of:’

  Jimmy

  He’s called Leon./

  Petra

  ‘Dog shit!’/

  Jimmy

  The boy she can’t stop thinking of.

  He’s called Leon./

  Petra

  (savage, now)

  ‘Dog shit!’

  (beat)

  Well, after the shock of it

  We were both able to laugh./

  Jimmy

  And now

  To make matters worse

  She’s annoyed

  I’ve got this bloke

  From Victim Liaison

  Coming round tomorrow.

  Petra

  I think we both felt comforted by the experience.

  Elated,

  That we still had this shared memory.

  That there were still things to explore.

  (Beat.)

  So that’s all I wanted to say.

  Friendships are so important.

  Trust.

  Don’t you think, Jimmy?

  Jimmy

  I think the counsellor�
�s

  Astute enough to realise

  What’s important.

  Like I said:

  Petra

  You see

  Jimmy’s arranged for this man:

  This man

  To come round with some art work.

  Art work!/

  Jimmy

  He’s bringing us a letter

  And a couple of pictures./

  Petra

  As if

  That’s somehow supposed to help us understand

  The boy who did this./

  Jimmy

  Me,

  I’d run naked through the streets

  If it offered us a way forward.

  Petra

  But I don’t want to understand,

  Because

  Understanding is always a prelude to forgiving.

  Isn’t it?

  So he gets out scot free

  While we’re stuck in here?

  He could turn up

  On our doorstep.

  Jimmy

  But he’s coming out

  Whether we like it or not.

  Petra

  I could bump into him

  At Sainsbury’s.

  You know,

  I’m actually thinking of moving

  To Australia!

  Jimmy

  We’re not moving anywhere!

  We’re not going anywhere!

  We just need to talk.

  Petra

  But we’ve been talking solidly.

  Jimmy

  About the person,

  Petra,

  The person

  Who did this to us. No!

  You’ve been talking solidly –

  Petra

  Well maybe

  You should speak up more.

  Jimmy

  About nothing!

  I’m not even allowed to mention his name.

  (To the shrink.)

  You must have noticed,

  She won’t allow me to mention his name.

  Petra

  Well,

  Apparently the process is called/

  Jimmy

  It’s not important what they call it./

  Petra

  Restorative Justice.

  And that’s a laugh.

  Jimmy

  I said,

  It’s not important what they call it!

  Petra

  Oh, I think

  Names are important,

  Otherwise how are we supposed to know

  What’s in the tin?

  So what I want to ask is:/

  Jimmy

  Well I want to give it a go,

  All right?

  Petra

  Where’s the justice?/

  Jimmy

  I just want us to give it a go.

  Petra

  And what exactly does it restore to us?

  I mean for God’s sake:

  What can we conceivably have back from him

  That we could possibly accept?

  Jimmy

  I don’t know!

  I don’t know,

  All right?

  But what else is there?

  No, you tell me:

  What else is there?

  Pause, as Jimmy leaves. Petra is alone now with the counsellor.

  Petra

  There!

  He always does that.

  Do you see?

  When the temperature rises,

  When it gets too much,

  He just ups and goes.

  (Beat.)

  Well you can see what that’s supposed to achieve,

  Can’t you?

  How he’s trying to paint me into a corner?

  (Beat.)

  Anyway,

  They call it

  Shuttle mediation.

  This first stage.

  Like a kind of judicial foreplay,

  Before we really

  Get to grips.

  You know:

  (Beat.)

  There’s this

  Facilitator

  Who talks to us,

  Then goes back to the boy.

  Talks to the boy,

  Then comes back to us.

  Back and forth,

  Weaving and bobbing

  Like the busy little shuttle he is,

  To see if there’s any common desire

  For a meeting.

  (Beat.)

  Well, there isn’t.

  Why should there be?

  I don’t want to be woven.

  I’m not a bloody carpet.

  I’m not here to help.

  (Beat.)

  God knows,

  I’m here,

  Because I’m here.

  (Small pause.)

  Oh, sod it!

  Scene Seven

  Jimmy and Petra ‘s living room.

  Jimmy

  (mock-grandiose, to the audience)

  The day the man came round.

  And suddenly, Petra and Jimmy are preparing to welcome the invisible Casey, for what is to be their first preparatory meeting with him as a couple.

  Petra’s mood is profoundly resistant: petulant; light-headed with alcohol and depression. Yet at the same time, an absurd humour lies just underneath their perception of this controlled domestic arrangement.

  Jimmy

  (wry, almost enjoying himself)

  He’s on time,

  This bloke.

  He’s so on time

  I think he’s been standing outside our front door

  With a stop-watch.

  Do you know what I mean?

  Petra

  The day the man came round

  I find myself tidying the place up.

  Uncharacteristically, fluffing up cushions,

  Hoovering behind the sofa.

  And since it’s just turned April,

  I put some daffs in a vase.

  (Beat.)

  And then I think:

  That’s it.

  That’ll do for a spring-clean.

  Jimmy

  Then at six o’clock precisely –

  Petra

  When the doorbell rings, Jimmy lets him in.

  Six in the evening.

  But it’s still light,

  Now that the clocks have moved forward.

  I stand up but I’m not moving.

  Cos I’m thinking:

  I’ll tidy the place up,

  But I’m not giving the wrong impression.

  Jimmy

  He’s a wiry little fella,

  Short grey hair and a tash.

  Neat, square face:

  Earring –

  You know?

  (Beat.)

  He’s holding a yellow cyclist’s jacket under his arm,

  And this

  Blue plastic helmet.

  Petra

  And he doesn’t wait to be asked.

  Sees me standing in the corner,

  Like some sulking child at her own party.

  ‘I’m Casey,’ he says.

  ‘Call me Casey,

  As in, Casey the case-worker.’

  And he holds out his hand.

  Jimmy

  So Petra chirps up,

  ‘Shouldn’t that be Frankie?

  As in Frankie the friendly facilitator?’

  With an edge, you know.

  Cos she’s already had a drink.

  So I put my arm round her,

  Protective,

  But at the same time,

  You know:

  ‘Don’t embarrass me, Petra,

  The bloke’s a guest.

  We both of us invited him here.

  You agreed.’

  Petra

  Then Jimmy sort of pushes me down into the settee.

  I’m feeling heady,

  Ever so slightly pissed,

  Like I’ve drunk half a bottle of that

  Sweet white I bought on my way back from the office.


  Though matter of fact,

  It’s the memory of that cherry blossom down the bottom of

  our road.

  Cos when you see that,

  There are lights all the way down your spine, saying:

  ‘Winter should be over.

  Winter should be over.’

  (Beat; then flinching.)

  Christ!

  Jimmy

  Then he opens this bag.

  Petra

  Oh Christ!

  Jimmy

  Takes out this folder.

  Petra

  (faltering, refusing)

  Look:

  I don’t know.

  I don’t know if I can –

  Jimmy

  ‘That’s him,’ he says.

  ‘That’s Leon.

  Bit of a Rembrandt really,

  Since he discovered his art.’

  (Beat. Then to her, as Jimmy again, concerned.)

  Petra – ?

  Petra

  (to Casey, frigid with anger)

  Who gave you permission to use his name in here?

  Scene Eight

  Leon in his jail art class, early in the fourth year of his sentence. He’s displaying his work, which we imagine, perhaps hung on the back wall. His enthusiasm is all too apparent: childish in its freshness, but tinged with acute self-consciousness of what others might say or think.

  Leon

  (grandly, announcing)

  ‘Around the World in Eighty Days!’

  (Beat.)

  That was Mr E’s idea.

  A series of pictures of Yours Truly

  In different places –

  Places he’s never been.

  For example,

  Here I am driving this car across Africa,

  Trying not to hit the giraffes.

  (Sensing a titter.)

  Don’t laugh.

  Don’t bloody laugh!

  (Beat. Picking up confidence.)

  It’s all,

  Holes in the ground,

  And you’ve got to take your own food and water.

  Watch out for sandstorms and flash floods.

  Scorpions there, look!

  You see the logo on that vehicle?

  Well, that was Mr E’s idea and all:

  Save the Children.

  Save the Children!

  (Beat.)

  I’ve seen it all on TV:

  Sponsorship deal worth millions.

  Picture in the paper.

  Interviewed by Jeremy Clarkson!

  (Beat.)

  But you don’t cross Africa by yourself,

  It’s too dangerous.

  So you got to take a mate with you.

  And that’s him there, look:

  In the passenger seat.

  (Beat.)

  Me,

  I wasn’t too sure,

  But Mr E said:

  Mr E

  Sure,