After the Accident

by Julian Armitstead

Leon

  So one day

  I get this visit.

  This bloke from

  Victim Liaison.

  Mr Casey.

  Casey the case!

  He says he’s got this proposal.

  This bit of news.

  And I’m expecting him to say

  Something about my parole,

  You know:

  Something about my chances there.

  So I’m like:

  ‘Oh yeah?’

  (Beat.)

  But does he – ?

  Fuck.

  ‘How would you like to meet the people you did this to?’

  Just like that.

  Right between the eyes.

  (Beat.)

  ‘I’m sorry?

  Do what?’

  (Beat.)

  ‘Meet the victims,’ he says.

  ‘The parents of the child.’

  And he sits there with this smile on his face

  Like he’s just offered me tickets to the football.

  ‘So what’s in it for me?’

  I say.

  ‘What’s in it for me?’

  (Beat.)

  And there’s this

  Crafty look on his face:

  ‘Are you ready to face your future?’

  (Beat.)

  ‘Yeah,’ I say.

  ‘I think I am.’

  (Beat.)

  ‘But I’m hearing good things about you,

  Leon.’

  ‘Such as what?’

  ‘Such as all these pictures you’re painting.

  Is there nothing else you’d like to share with these good

  people?

  Nothing else you’d like to tell them,

  Now you’ve had the chance to think about

  What it is you’ve done?’

  (Beat.)

  ‘Look mate,

  Let’s cut the crap.

  I done four years.

  So I’ll ask you a question, shall I?

  How would you like to be run over by your own car?’

  (Beat.)

  That knocks the smile off his face.

  He doesn’t look very happy now, does he.

  (Beat.)

  ‘Look, boss,

  I just want to get out.

  I just want to get out, all right?’

  (Beat.)

  ‘Well,’ he says,

  ‘There’s getting out,

  And getting out.

  What exactly are you going to be doing,

  When you get out?’

  Scene Fourteen

  Petra alone, after Casey’s departure.

  Petra

  So when he’s left,

  When we’ve said our piece,

  I see what I always see:

  Another person,

  A do-gooder,

  A visitor to the shrine.

  But it’s not their shrine, is it:

  So what can they say

  When they know

  No holy words?

  Scene Fifteen

  Leon in jail: a speech delivered as much to his own interiority, as for the benefit of Casey.

  Leon

  (grandly)

  ‘When I Get Out’,

  By Leon.

  (Beat.)

  OK,

  I’ve thought about it.

  I’ve thought a lot about it,

  Mr Casey.

  (Beat.)

  I’m not afraid of work,

  I’m not afraid of getting my hands dirty.

  You get an apprenticeship in a garage.

  They pay you while you get your level one.

  Stick your hands down the bonnet of a car.

  Like being a vet,

  Except this one’s got wheels,

  Farts black smoke!

  Grease up to your elbow:

  On your cock

  When you go for a slash.

  I’d get one of those souped-up racing engines,

  Stick it on to a Fiesta.

  You know, something

  Turbo-charged,

  Fuel-injected,

  Which means the air gets right in there,

  Where the petrol burns.

  Not difficult if you know how,

  If you’ve got your basic welding.

  (Beat; now positioning himself.)

  Tail fins sloping round behind,

  Twin exhausts coming out the back.

  Dashboard like a bloody,

  Bloody –

  Jet plane!

  Are you watching, Mr Casey?

  Then watch this!

  Cos this is me taking off.

  This is me flying!

  Right out of here.

  Right out of this fucking place.

  (Pause.)

  Goes on my record, right?

  If I agree to meet them:

  It goes on my record, yeah?

  Scene Sixteen

  We are back at the conference. But late on now. The first, expository stages are over.

  Petra

  (emphatic, stating her purpose)

  Now that it’s my turn to speak

  I think I should warn everybody:

  I’m not here to be nice.

  And I find it striking

  How, in all this careful arrangement of people and chairs,

  My daughter is the only one who hasn’t been invited.

  So is that OK with everyone?

  If I invite her?

  (She brings a chair and places it.)

  There.

  This will be her chair.

  Charley’s chair.

  She’s going to be ten next week.

  We remember her birthday.

  Don’t we, Jimmy?

  Scene Seventeen

  Cut to a subsequent preparative meeting between Leon and Casey, a fortnight, perhaps, after the first. Leon in jail.

  Leon

  If I agree to meet them,

  If I do, Mr Casey:

  There’s just one thing I want to ask.

  Freddie died cos he wasn’t wearing a safety belt,

  And that was his look-out.

  But from what I heard,

  Their kid died because she was in the front seat.

  And that was an offence what they did.

  My lawyer told me

  They were lucky not to be charged.

  So what I want to ask is:

  Why was she there

  Where she should never have been?

  I need to know that, Mr Casey.

  I have a right to know.

  (Beat.)

  So that’s it.

  If I agree to meet them,

  If I do:

  It’s because I’m thinking about my future, too.

  Which is what you want, isn’t it?

  Scene Eighteen

  Back to the conference.

  Petra

  (abruptly, to Leon)

  So tell me:

  When you do get out,

  Are you intending to visit us again?

  Leon

  Don’t know what you mean.

  Petra

  I mean,

  Are you coming back?

  Is there anything else you want from us?

  Leon

  No.

  Petra

  Are you sure?

  Leon

  Yes.

  Petra

  What makes you so sure?

  Cars?

  Money?

  Possessions?

  Leon

  I’m not doing it again.

  (Small pause.)

  Petra

  This car you stole:

  The car that killed our daughter.

  Did you know,

  That the development you broke into,

  The estate you described to us in your account,

  It happened to be our home.

  It was where we lived.

  Did you know that?

  Leon

  No.
<
br />   Petra

  Well, who can blame you for that?

  It’s just one of those things.

  Leon

  I didn’t know.

  Petra

  Well, how could you have known?

  In the heat of the moment?

  Leon

  Yeah, I didn’t know.

  Petra

  So this place:

  Our home.

  Would it surprise you

  That we moved there

  To bring up our family?

  Jimmy

  (seeing the way she’s going)

  Petra.

  Petra

  Well, that’s why people move

  To places like that,

  Why should we be any different?

  A family estate without graffiti on the walls

  Or gob on the pavements.

  A place where children can play.

  He must have seen that.

  He’d cased the joint.

  You’d cased the joint,

  Hadn’t you?

  You’d seen the cars through the gate.

  Leon

  Yeah.

  Yeah, we’d seen the cars.

  Petra

  So what could be more natural?

  I mean,

  I think I completely understand what you’re driving at,

  If you’ll pardon the pun.

  You saw where we lived,

  What we had,

  And you thought:

  ‘That’s easy pickings.

  That’s fair game.’

  Leon

  No.

  We just come for the car.

  Petra

  You just come for the car?

  Leon

  Yeah,

  That’s what I’m saying.

  Petra

  But you never

  Just come for the car.

  Isn’t it obvious?

  You come to break into somebody else’s home,

  You come to break into somebody else’s life!

  Leon

  And I’m sorry!

  Petra

  You’re sorry?

  (Beat; then savage.)

  You know, Jimmy,

  I think I’d have respected him more

  If he’d broken in and taken her

  Like any regular child-snatcher.

  Leon

  But I didn’t take her!

  I didn’t take anybody./

  Jimmy

  All right, Petra.

  Leon

  I didn’t come to take anyone.

  It’s what I’m telling you.

  I just wanted a car.

  A nice car.

  Petra

  A nice car?

  You mean

  A car with tits?

  Leon

  What?

  Petra

  A car you could fuck.

  Leon

  What are you talking about?

  What is she talking about?

  Petra

  You see,

  This is the point.

  It’s just another story, isn’t it,

  Another picture he’s preparing

  For the judge:

  He just wanted a nice car.

  So he comes to where the nice cars are.

  Where else?

  What could be more natural than that?

  I mean,

  There we were,

  Daring to live in a place

  Like that.

  Leon

  What’s she saying?/

  Petra

  I’m saying:

  Leon

  I don’t understand what she’s saying.

  Petra

  I haven’t come here to be nice.

  And I’m not allowing this lie

  To go unchallenged.

  This lie,

  This picture you’re painting:

  That somehow,

  You had no choice.

  what you did was understandable.

  That people like us

  Deserve to be preyed upon

  By people like you.

  Leon

  What’s people like me?/

  Petra

  We all have choices.

  Leon

  What’s people like me?

  Petra

  Little arseholes

  Who choose to take a car,

  As though it had no more consequence than

  Lifting a shopping trolley from Sainsbury’s.

  You choose to take a car –

  A car you can’t properly handle

  And drive it at high speed

  Along a road you don’t know.

  And then you take a life.

  Two lives!

  And this is a direct result,

  If anyone cares to look –

  There’s this simple,

  Straight line from one act

  To the next.

  You didn’t just

  Take a car.

  You killed my child!

  And I’m not letting you off the hook.

  I’m not letting you walk away

  As though it were just some accident.

  You’re not just walking away from this!

  Leon, angered now, rises to fetch a second chair, which he places in opposition to Charley’s, so the two empty chairs face each other.

  Jimmy

  What’s he doing?

  Leon

  What about Freddie?

  Does he get a chair and all?

  Petra

  Is this supposed to be a joke?

  Jimmy

  What’s he doing, Mr Casey?

  Leon

  Same as what they’re doing.

  I’m doing what they’re doing.

  Freddie can sit by me, Mr Casey.

  Maybe he has something to say, too.

  He’s dead too, remember?

  Jimmy

  It’s not the same, Leon./

  Leon

  So what’s not the same?

  He’s dead too.

  Jimmy

  Freddie was an accomplice.

  A victim of his own behaviour.

  Our daughter was innocent.

  Leon

  So why not tell him that.

  Tell him

  What you keep telling me.

  Ask him why he came knocking on my window that night.

  Ask him why he was in the passenger seat,

  And not me.

  Ask him for a change!

  Jimmy

  No,

  I don’t think you understand.

  Petra

  (over Jimmy, to Casey)

  So tell him, Mr Casey,

  Because unless he can understand that

  We might as well pick up our things and go.

  Leon

  (to Casey)

  But I’m not trying to say

  What they think I’m saying.

  Jimmy

  So what are you saying?

  Leon

  It was an accident!

  Petra

  It was an accident!

  Petra

  (indicating the empty chair)

  So tell her that!

  Go on:

  Stand up and tell her that!

  Jimmy

  You’ve stolen more cars

  Than we’ve had hot dinners, Leon.

  You were going to kill someone sooner or later.

  Did you never stop to think about that?

  Leon

  Yeah.

  I thought about it.

  Jimmy

  You thought about it?

  Well, you must have thought a lot about it, Leon,

  Because it wasn’t just that night was it,

  And it wasn’t just that car.

  It could have been any night,

  And any bloody car.

  And you could have killed anybody.

  (Beat.)

  But you knew that, didn’t you
?

  Because you’d thought about it.

  Leon

  (beat)

  What can I say?

  What do you want me to say?

  That it was a rush?

  It was a buzz?

  It gave me a hard-on?

  Jimmy

  Jesus Christ!

  Leon

  You know what?

  If I could,

  I’d change everything.

  I’d put me there, instead of her.

  I’d put me there instead of Freddie.

  I’d kill me now and bring them two back to life.

  That’s the truth.

  But you don’t want to hear that, do you.

  You want to hear that I’m some kind of monster,

  Some kind of perv.

  And I don’t blame you.

  How could I?

  So what can I say that would make any difference?

  Jimmy

  You can show us what this actually means to you.

  Leon

  But I just have.

  Jimmy

  Then you’ll have to show us again, won’t you.

  Because we just don’t believe you.

  Leon

  The pictures, Mr Casey!

  Tell them about the pictures!

  Jimmy

  The pictures?

  The pictures?

  Where are the scars, Leon?

  Show me what hell looks like!

  (Beat.)

  Oh! You can’t do that, can you.

  Because no one can teach you to draw that.

  Petra

  You know, I think it’s perfectly clear

  What’s going on here:

  The pictures!

  I think we understand each other perfectly.

  Leon

  So what do you want me to do?

  Tell me what it is,

  And I’ll try to do it.

  I swear I’ll try.

  Petra

  Then try this, Leon.

  Try this!

  Just in case you think for one moment

  That we should be grateful

  For your being here –

  For this picture of your remorse –

  Listen to this.

  (Beat.)

  You think there’s a bottom to it, don’t you.

  You think that we’ve reached that now,

  Seeing as you’re here,

  Telling us how apologetic you are.

  How very sorry.

  As if everything comes to rest on something,

  Eventually –

  Like you falling out of that chair,

  Or me chucking a stone down a well –

  When you hear the splash back,

  Or you hit the floor.

  Do you know what I’m talking about?

  (Beat.)

  But it’s not.

  It’s not like that.

  (Beat.)