Love in the Dark

by 12 Book Boxed Set (epub)

  She dug her makeup bag out of her purse. Gazing in the mirror, she reapplied some loose powder on her face. Her tear-stained eyes needed the works—new eyeliner, mascara, and eye shadow. As a finishing touch, she rolled a tube of rose-colored lipstick across her lips.

  Emma surveyed her reflection and groaned. Why are you even bothering with your face? All he cares about is what you look like from the neck down, preferably the waist. God, of all the men in the building, it had to be Aidan that came to her rescue. Mr. Manwhore Fitzgerald himself. He was the type of man who wasn’t used to ever getting rejected, so she figured he must have a score to settle with her.

  She tossed her makeup bag back in her purse. With a deep breath, she headed outside. True to his word, Aidan sat on one of the benches outside the bathroom. He shot up the moment he saw her. “Ready?”

  “Sure.”

  They pushed through the revolving doors and stepped out onto the sidewalk. Emma’s heels clicked along the pavement as the warm air from the heavy traffic rushing past them ruffled the bottom of her short skirt, and she fought to keep from having a Marilyn Monroe Seven Year Itch moment. “You go to O’Malley’s often?” she asked, trying to make conversation.

  Aidan nodded. “A couple nights a week me and some of the guys from my department have a beer, maybe catch the latest game.” He punched the crosswalk button. “What about you?”

  Emma wrinkled her nose as they started across the street. “Not really. I’m not much on the atmosphere.” When he raised an eyebrow at her, she quickly said, “I mean, it’s fine going with you tonight. It’s just not some place my girlfriends and I like to hang out.”

  With his signature cocky grin, Aidan held open the door to O’Malley’s for her. “Let me guess—since you’re with me, you won’t have to worry about a bunch of drunken assholes hitting on you.”

  “Exactly. Well, maybe just one drunken asshole.” She glanced up at him. “Depending on how much you drink.”

  Aidan’s eyes widened before he laughed. “I’ll try to watch myself.”

  A young blonde stood at the hostess stand. She beamed at the sight of Aidan and adjusted her shirt to give him a better view of her cleavage. He rewarded her efforts with a smile. “Can we get a booth, Jenny?”

  “Sure, Aidan. Follow me.”

  As Jenny sashayed her hips in front of them, Emma rolled her eyes at Aidan; he winked in response. Jenny sat them at a dimly lit booth in the back of the bar. She handed them a menu and then stared directly at Aidan. “See ya later.”

  He gave a brief wave and then turned his attention to the menu. Feeling Emma’s heated gaze, he looked back up. “What?”

  “Nothing,” she murmured.

  “If your nothing is about Jenny, I told you I came here a lot.”

  “I didn’t say anything,” she countered.

  “You didn’t have to. The death glare you were giving me was enough.” He smirked at her. “Since I know you want to ask, Jenny is not one of my conquests, and I’ve never seen her anywhere outside of O’Malley’s. Besides, her dad owns this place, and he wouldn’t hesitate to kick my ass.”

  For some reason, Emma found that statement comforting. Still, she managed to keep her best poker face on and shrugged her shoulders. “It’s none of my business.”

  He only chuckled as a waiter came up to the table. “What can I get you two this evening?”

  Aidan nodded at Emma. “I’ll have a margarita on the rocks with no salt, please,” she said.

  “Heineken in a bottle.”

  The waiter jotted down their order on a napkin and then headed over to the bar. Emma rested her elbows onto the table and put her head in her hands. A long, exasperated sigh escaped her lips.

  “Bad day, huh?”

  She raised her head and a sad smile flickered on her face. “Not one of my best. I really can’t blame Connor for the worst of it either. It was already shot to hell giving Therese a baby shower.”

  “Your boss?” he asked, and Emma nodded. The waiter returned with their drinks. Emma took a dainty swig of her margarita while Aidan pulled a hearty gulp from his bottle. An anxious feeling came over her at his curious expression, and she feared he was about to ask a pretty loaded question.

  “What was so wrong about the baby shower? Someone get shitfaced on spiked punch and not want to play one of the silly games like ‘Guess What’s in the Diaper’?”

  Okay, so that wasn’t the question she was expecting. “How in the world do you know what goes on at baby shower?”

  He grimaced. “I have four older sisters. Trust me, I’ve spent some time in baby shower hell.”

  Emma grinned. “I guess you have.”

  “So what happened?” he prodded.

  With a shrug, she replied, “Nothing really. It was just harder than I thought it was going to be.”

  “Because you want a baby of your own?”

  She gasped and almost knocked her margarita over. “Wait, how could you…?”

  “Connor told me.”

  Emma widened her eyes as a warm flush danced over her cheeks and neck. “H-he did? W-what else did he say?”

  Aidan took another swig before he answered. “That he was supposed to father your baby, but he backed out.”

  Even though she’d only had one sip of her drink, the room tilted and spun around her. She shook her head, trying to shake herself free of the nightmare turn the conversation had taken. This couldn’t be happening. “I’m going to kill him.”

  “You don’t need to do that.”

  “Are you kidding me?” Emma’s voice shot up an octave. “It was bad enough when he was texting and calling all the time. Now he’s shown up at my work to harass me, and worst of all, he told you, of all people, the most private detail of my personal life.”

  Aidan leaned forward, bumping his elbows against hers. “Me of all people…what’s that supposed to mean?”

  Emma ducked her head. “Nothing.”

  “Oh no. You’re not getting off so easy.”

  “It’s just…with the type of man you are, you can’t possibly understand my problems or my desires.”

  Aidan snorted. “Let me guess: because of my alleged womanizing reputation, I can’t fathom what it must be like for you to want to be a mother so bad you’d get your gay best friend to knock you up?”

  “That’s not what I meant.”

  “Then tell me.”

  Emma leaned forward until their faces were only inches apart. “Since you think you know everything, tell me if you understand this: have you ever wanted something so bad you think you’ll die if you don’t have it? So bad the mere thought of it keeps you up at night? You can’t sleep, you can’t eat, you can’t drink. You are so consumed by that desire nothing else matters, and you’re not sure life is worth living if you can’t have it.” Bitter tears stung her eyes, and she bit down on her lip to keep from sobbing right in front of him.

  While Aidan remained silent, Emma shook her head and leaned back in her chair. “See? I rest my case. A man like you can’t possibly understand what wanting a baby feels like for me.”

  “No, I get it. I really do.”

  She arched her auburn eyebrows at him. “I doubt that seriously.”

  “Maybe to a certain extent…” A slow, lascivious grin slunk across his face—one that sent warmth to her cheeks and made her squirm in her chair. “I wanted you so bad at the Christmas party I thought I’d die when you refused to come home with me.”

  The husky tone of his voice startled her. “Excuse me?”

  He scooted up so close to her that she fought the urge to back away. She gulped at his nearness. The lustful gleam flashing in his eyes made him like the Big Bad Wolf looming over her. “How much plainer can I make it? You were so damn sexy in that green dress. Your hair was down and fell in waves around your shoulders, and you kept giving me those innocent little smiles from across the room.” His breath scorched against her cheek before he whispered into her ear. “I’ve never wanted to fuck s
omeone so much as I wanted to you.”

  She shoved him away with all the strength she could muster. “God, you’re such an egotistical bastard. I’m baring my soul to you about wanting a child and you tell me you want to…to…”

  Aidan crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re a big girl, Emma. Can’t you say fuck?”

  “You’re seriously disgusting.” She gripped the edges of her glass and narrowed her eyes at him. “If I didn’t desperately need the rest of my margarita, I’d throw it in your arrogant face.”

  He chuckled at her outrage. “Now is that any way to talk to the future father of your child?”

  She snapped back in her seat like a rubber band. “E-excuse me?”

  “I’m talking about a little proposition for us both to get something we really, really want. I give a little, and you give a little.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I’m talking about offering up my DNA for you. Connor said you refused to go to a sperm bank because you might end up bearing Satan’s spawn, so I figure I’d make a good candidate.”

  Emma widened her eyes as the shockwaves rolled violently through her. “You can’t be serious.”

  “About which part—me being a donor or that I’m a better choice than Satan’s spawn?” he asked with a wicked grin.

  “Both…but mainly that you would want to be my sperm donor.”

  “Yeah, I’m serious.”

  “Do you have any idea what being a sperm donor entails?” she questioned.

  He smirked at her. “I have a pretty good idea.”

  Emma shook her head. “How can you act so flippant about it? It’s a huge commitment.”

  “Give me a break. We’re talking about jerking off into a plastic cup, not donating an organ.”

  “It’s a little more than that, actually.”

  “I had some buddies do it in college. Nothing too strenuous.” Aidan shrugged. “Besides, it’s not like I’m agreeing to marry you and bring up the kid. It’s just a little DNA shared between acquaintances. I’m sure Connor was going to sign something saying he wasn’t raising the kid, right?”

  “Yes, we had discussed a contract when Jeff continued to not want Connor involved.”

  “I bet I’m an even better candidate than Connor was.”

  “And how is that?”

  “Everyone wants a healthy, smart, and attractive kid, right? Well, I just got a clean bill of health with my yearly company physical. My family doesn’t have a history of any major diseases or mental illness. I graduated top of my class from the University of Georgia, and I have my MBA.” He winked at Emma. “And I think it’s safe to say I’d bring some mighty fine-looking genes into the picture.”

  She eyed him suspiciously. “But what’s the catch? No offense, but other than working at the same company as you, I barely know you—and what I do know isn’t very flattering. Regardless of how lightly you’re taking it, offering a part of your essence is a huge sacrifice on someone’s part. I just can’t imagine you doing anything so unselfish.”

  Aidan swept his hand over his heart. “Damn, Emma, that really wounds me. I mean, I just put my life on the line not an hour ago when you and Connor were fighting, yet I’m still a selfish prick.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Just answer the question.”

  He grinned. “Okay, okay, you’re right. My motives are not completely selfless.”

  “I knew it!” she huffed.

  “Here’s my proposition. I offer to father your child, and you, in turn, promise to conceive it with me naturally.”

  Fear radiated over her, causing to her to shudder. “Naturally? As in you and I…have sex?”

  “Most women would find that a little more appealing than you just did,” he mused.

  She shook her head furiously. “I can’t have sex with you!”

  “Why?”

  “I just can’t.”

  “You’re going to have to give me a reason.”

  Emma twisted the paper napkin in her hands, as she was prone to do when nervous. “It’s just I believe sex is something sacred and special, something meant to be done between two people who are deeply committed to each other and who are in love.”

  His brows furrowed. “And how many times have you been deeply committed to someone?”

  She refused to meet his expectant gaze. “Once,” she whispered.

  “Holy shit.” He shook his head. “That’s unbelievable.”

  Emma snapped her gaze up to meet his. “I’m sure it’s hard for you to comprehend anyone who doesn’t bang everything that moves, but I don’t play that game. And yes, I was twenty when I lost my virginity to a guy I’d been dating for over a year who later became my fiancé.”

  “I didn’t realize you were divorced.”

  “I’m not. He got killed in a car accident six months before we were supposed to get married.” Emma fought the deluge of emotions that arose from Travis’s memory. Regret was there as much as grief. How many times had she tortured herself for pushing their wedding date back? At the time, she had thought she was being practical and sensible. She wanted to finish college, and then she wanted him to get halfway through medical school. That’s how she had met Casey—her boyfriend, Nate, and Travis had been best friends at Emory.

  Aidan brought her out of her thoughts. Grimacing, he said, “Jesus, Em, I’m sorry.”

  “Thank you,” she murmured.

  “How long ago was it?”

  “Four years.”

  He choked on the beer he had just guzzled. After he recovered from a coughing fit, he asked, “You haven’t had sex in four years?”

  “No,” she whispered, running her finger along one of the deep grooves in the table’s wood. She hated herself for admitting it to Aidan, but he had to understand why his proposition was so absurd. Even though her need for a baby was desperate, it wasn’t desperate enough to warrant having casual sex with a notorious womanizer. Or was it…

  “Fuck me,” he murmured. “How do you stand it?”

  Emma narrowed her eyes at his incredulous expression. “When the last four years of your life have been a living hell, sex doesn’t really rank high on your list of priorities.”

  Aidan furrowed his brows. “What do you mean?”

  She stared down at the napkin, which now lay shredded in her lap, and tried to keep her emotions in check. The last thing she wanted to do was become hysterical in front of him for the second time that evening. “After Travis was killed, I just shut down for a year. I guess you could say I was like a zombie. I got up, went to work, and came home. Then just as I started to see sunlight again, my mom was diagnosed with cancer. She was my whole world, and for eighteen months, my entire life was consumed by taking care of her.” Tears blurred her eyes. “And then she just slipped away.”

  At the sight of Aidan’s stricken expression, Emma gave a nervous laugh. “I can only imagine right now you’re wishing you’d never asked me out for a drink, least of all propositioned me.”

  “That’s not what I was thinking at all.”

  “Oh really now?”

  “If you must know, I was thinking about how I’ve never met a woman like you before.”

  “Is there supposed to be a compliment in there?”

  “Of course there is. I’m not that big of an asshole, you know.” After she rolled her eyes skeptically, he took her hand in his. “You’re like a paradox to me. One minute you’re like this fragile flower and the next you’re tough as unflinching steel.”

  Emma couldn’t keep her mouth from gaping open. “I can’t believe you just said something that deep and sensitive.”

  “I have my moments,” he replied with a grin.

  “By all means, please try to have more of them.”

  Aidan’s jovial expression turned serious. “I’m truly sorry about everything you’ve been through in the last few years. No one should have to endure so much and do it alone.”

  “Thank you,” she murmured, trying not to stare at him like
he had suddenly grown horns. Was it actually possible that underneath his self-centered persona there was a good heart? One that truly cared about all she had been through?

  “And I’m also sorry about giving you such a hard time about the sex thing. It’s quite refreshing to meet a woman with old-fashioned ideals.”

  “You’re serious?”

  Aidan gave Emma a sheepish grin. “Yes, I am. It’s also nice to know your very public rejection at the Christmas party wasn’t just about me but more about your personal beliefs.”

  “Honestly, could you be more egotistical?” Emma replied, but she couldn’t help smiling at him.

  “All joking aside, I can see why you want to have baby.”

  “Oh you can?”

  He nodded. “You’ve had so much death and loss that you just want a little life in you.” He squeezed her hand. “Right?”

  Emma sucked in a raspy breath as his words reverberated through her. How was it possible for someone like Aidan to tap into the very heart of her emotions when even Casey sometimes didn’t understand her deep desire for motherhood? “Yes,” she murmured.

  “Then let me give you that. Let me give you a baby.”

  She fought the urge to pinch herself at the absurdity of the situation. How had she gone from being an emotional wreck at the baby shower to having a man offering to fulfill her wildest dreams? The rational side of her mind railed against her heart. “Do you have any idea how crazy this sounds? I don’t even know you! Why are you even offering up a part of yourself to me, of all people?”

  “I already told you why.”

  Emma gave a frustrated sniff. “So you can sleep with me. That’s your only motivation?”

  He gave her a crooked grin. “You vastly underestimate your allure and sex appeal.”

  “If I’m going to even begin to take you seriously, you’re going to have to give me a better reason than that.”

  Aidan squirmed a little in his chair and cleared his throat before replying. “Well, there is another reason…”