Love in the Dark

by 12 Book Boxed Set (epub)

  Patrick’s expression immediately softened. “Emma, I’m so sorry if I offended or upset you. I’m fiercely protective of my family, and now that you’re carrying my grandchild, you’re a part of that.”

  Aidan watched as Emma’s expression turned from apprehension to positively beaming. “That’s very sweet of you to care so much. My baby will be very lucky to have you as a grandfather.” She drew in a breath. “But before I got pregnant, Aidan and I set very clear parameters for what his role would be.”

  “So you object to the baby having his name?” Patrick demanded.

  “Well, no…I mean, I wouldn’t mind.” Before Aidan could stop himself, he glowered across the table at Emma. She quickly shook her head. “But I don’t want to pressure Aidan into anything. No offense, Patrick, but you’re kind of putting him on the spot. I don’t want Aidan to feel uncomfortable.”

  Patrick harrumphed and leaned back in his chair. “Fine then. I’m just an old-fashioned, out of touch, old fart!”

  Emma giggled. “Aw, no you’re not. Actually, you remind me a lot of my mother’s father. He’s really been more of a father figure to me since my father died. Granddaddy is very traditional and old-fashioned, and pretty easygoing until you mess with his family.”

  “He sounds like my kind of man.”

  “I think you two would get along very well. He shared your same questions and concerns when he learned I was unmarried and pregnant.” Emma twisted the napkin in her lap. “Actually, he had quite a few choice words for me.”

  Aidan experienced a twinge of protectiveness at Emma’s discomfort. “You didn’t tell me that.”

  “Everything is okay now. In fact, he’s really creative when it comes to woodworking, and he’s carving the baby a rocking horse.”

  “That’s a nice way to make amends,” Patrick mused.

  Emma smiled. “Yes, it is.”

  Patrick appeared thoughtful. Then he stood up. “Come, Emma, there’s something I’d like you and the baby to have.”

  He held out his hand and Emma smiled, slipping hers into his. Aidan watched as he pulled her out of the dining room chair and led her down the hall. He sat stunned, still not believing the effect Emma had on his father. Aidan hadn’t seen him so animated in months. It was like she had brought a piece of him that was dead back to life—something not even he or his sisters had been able to do.

  Curiosity caused him to rise from his chair and seek them out. He found them in his parent’s bedroom. Emma stood in the middle of the room, peering intently at the walk-in closet. Shuffling noises came from within, and Aidan heard his father curse softly. Finally, Patrick appeared with a yellowed box that had faded with time, a beaming smile on his face. “For my grandson,” he said, handing Emma the box.

  She swept her free hand to her hip and challenged, “And what if it’s a girl?”

  “Trust me on this one.” When Emma huffed in protest, Patrick laughed. “All right, all right. It will work for my granddaughter as well.”

  Emma opened the box’s lid. Aidan leaned forward as she gently pulled away the tissue paper and a little cry escaped her lips. Gently, she pulled out a white baby’s gown with intricate lace and pearls. “It’s beautiful.”

  “It’s Aidan’s christening gown,” Patrick said.

  Aidan sucked in a breath. His father’s words coupled with Emma holding a piece of his past made him feel like he had been punched in the gut. If there was any doubt as to how his father felt about Emma and their child, it was now clear from the tiny gown in her hands that he cared quite a lot. He wasn’t entirely sure he was ready for this level of emotion and commitment. “Dad, Emma’s not even Catholic,” Aidan protested.

  Without taking his eyes off Emma, Patrick shook his head. “She might humor me and have the baby christened though.”

  Emma nibbled on her bottom lip. “The truth is I’m Baptist.” At Patrick’s sharp intake of breath, she held up her hand. “But considering you and Aidan are Catholic and the baby will be half Catholic, I suppose I could, if it meant a lot to you.”

  A broad smile formed on Patrick’s face. “It sure would.”

  “Then I would be honored.”

  “Thank you, sweetheart.” Patrick embraced Emma, squeezing her tight. “Thank you most of all for being such a beautiful light in the world…and in my son’s life.”

  Aidan stared at his father in horror. Had he lost his mind? Emma wasn’t a light in his life…was she? He tried ignoring the tears sparkling in Emma’s green eyes when she pulled out of Patrick’s arms. She kissed him tenderly on the cheek. “Thank you for wanting to be part of my baby’s life.”

  The continued exchange of emotions between his father and Emma made it feel like all the air in the room had been sucked out. Simply breathing in and out made his chest feel like a sumo wrestler was pressing down on him. A beautiful light in my son’s life kept replaying over and over again in his mind.

  Deep down inside him, a little voice agreed with his father. Emma made him burn with desire one minute and laugh the next. The way she interacted with Beau and his nephews tugged at his heart. She was the kind of woman who, if he got physically sick, would be there to nurse him through it, and if he fell on hard times emotionally, she would be his rock.

  How had he been so fucking blind?

  Aidan’s gaze wildly scanned the room. No, he just needed to get out of his parent’s bedroom, out his father’s house, and then maybe he would be able to think.

  He cleared his throat. “I hate to be a party pooper, but we really need to get going. I’ve got a lot to take care of after being gone the last month.”

  Patrick nodded. “I understand, son. I’m just so glad you came by.” He smiled at Emma. “That you both came by.”

  It took Aidan a moment before he was able to say, “So am I.”

  Emma clutched the christening gown to her chest as she trailed Patrick out of the bedroom. Aidan followed close on their heels. “Now that we’re acquainted, there’s no reason for you to be a stranger. You know where I live, so you don’t have to rely on Aidan to bring you by.”

  Jesus, two hours with the girl and his father was already giving Emma full access to come over whenever she felt like it. For all he knew, his father would get down all the family photo albums or his old high school yearbooks to entertain Emma with. What a nightmare.

  Patrick gave Emma a final hug before turning to Aidan. “Don’t be a stranger.”

  “I’ll try.”

  As Emma started down the porch steps, Patrick grabbed Aidan’s arm. “Will you at least try to consider some of the things we talked about?” he asked in a hushed whisper.

  “I’ll try, Pop. I really will.”

  Patrick smiled. “Good. I’m glad to hear it.”

  Emma slipped into the passenger seat as Aidan jogged down the front walk. When he slid inside the car, he exhaled a long, ragged breath. Emma turned and gave him a tentative smile. “That was…interesting.”

  “That’s one word for it,” he replied, cranking the car up.

  After he pulled out of the driveway, he glanced over to see Emma running her fingers over the fabric of the tiny gown. “I bet you were adorable wearing this,” she remarked.

  “No, I’ve seen the pictures. I look like a chubby little pansy wearing a dress.”

  “You could never look like a pansy,” she teased.

  Aidan grunted in response. Staring ahead, he gripped the steering wheel tighter, desperately trying to keep control of the feelings raging within him. They didn’t speak for a few minutes.

  When Emma finally did, her voice was strained. “I’m sorry about today.”

  Aidan tore his gaze off the road to stare at her. “What are you talking about?”

  “Meeting your father. It was too much pressure and commitment for you. I can tell.”

  “No, it wasn’t.”

  “Oh please. You were about to hyperventilate under the stress when we were in your parent’s bedroom.” Emma shook her head. “I se
riously started to worry you were going to have a stroke or something.”

  “It wasn’t that bad.”

  The skin on his cheek singed from the glare Emma was giving him. “At least be honest about the situation, Aidan.”

  A low growl erupted from the back of his throat. “Fine. That was a total and complete mind-fuck for me, okay?”

  “That’s better.”

  “Yeah, right.”

  “I’m serious. I always want you to be honest with me, especially about how you feel.”

  “Women always say that, and then the moment you tell them how things are, you get verbally or physically bitch slapped.”

  Silence echoed through the car for a few minutes. Finally, Emma spoke. “Look, I don’t have to keep the gown. You can give it back to Patrick and explain to him that you only agreed to give your DNA, not yourself.”

  He banged his fist into the steering wheel. “Dammit, Em, that’s not what I want!”

  Cutting across two lanes, he wheeled into a supermarket parking lot. After screeching to a stop, he killed the engine. When he turned to face Emma, her eyes were wide and she had pressed herself up against the door as far away from him as possible. “When I said today was a mind-fuck, it was in more ways than one. Seeing you with my father—the way he reacted to you—it’s made me come unhinged, but not in the way you think.”

  “Oh?”

  He shook his head. “When I met you, my life was exactly the way I wanted it to be. I was only thinking with my dick when I thought I could get you pregnant and walk away. And now…it’s all so fucking complicated I don’t know which way is up any more.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause problems for you or to be a burden.”

  Aidan rolled his eyes. “Jesus, Em, how can you even think that?”

  Her brows furrowed. “Because you said—”

  With a frustrated grunt, he raked his hands through his hair. “Dammit, I’m no good at this. I’m saying and doing everything wrong.”

  “I don’t understand,” she murmured.

  “Deep down, I’m still the same person I was when we first started all this—no marriage, no major commitment, no long-term relationships.” He sighed. “But…I want to try to have more with you.”

  Emma gasped. “You do?”

  He stared at her intently. “Even though I hate to admit it, I really missed you while I was gone.”

  “Are you sure you didn’t just miss the sex?”

  He scowled at her. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

  She gave him a tentative smile. “Then that’s very flattering.”

  “Fuck, I didn’t think you’d make me work this hard for it.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “I thought…” He shook his head. “I thought you wanted us even more than I did.”

  “I do,” she replied softly.

  “You have a hell of a way of showing it.”

  She glared at him. “Well, you’re not really playing fair. You’ve been kind and considerate, if not downright caring the entire time we were trying to conceive, yet you constantly kept me at arm’s length. Every time I thought you might truly be interested in me, you’d shut down, and now you wait to spring the fact that you might want more until I’m a hormone-fueled emotional wreck.”

  “What difference does that make?”

  “Everything!” She pointed out the windshield to a teenage bag boy collecting carts. “I’m so whacked out on hormones right now that kid could ask me to marry him and I would say yes.”

  “That’s fucked up,” Aidan mused.

  “Yeah, it’s called estrogen, and it’s working overtime right now. If you want to know what that feels like, it’s kind of like how the massive dose of testosterone pumping through you fuels the head below your waist, driving most of your decisions.”

  Aidan threw his head back and laughed. “Are you trying to say I only think with my dick?”

  “I don’t think I’d be pregnant right now if you didn’t,” Emma said softly.

  His expression darkened. “Am I to assume that’s the estrogen talking or are you just trying to cut me?”

  Emma ducked her head. “Yes and no. It’s just that everything is so emotionally overwhelming right now. Meeting Patrick today…” She bit down on her lip and then stared out the car window. “I know we were only together for such a short time, but it was almost like the moment I met him, I felt a connection to something I haven’t had in a very, very long time—a father’s love. I’ve only felt that before with my grandfather, and he’s my own blood.”

  Aidan’s chest tightened at Emma’s visible pain. He reached out and took her hand in his. “Em—”

  She turned back to him with tears in her eyes. “You’re trying to protect yourself, and well, so am I. As much as I want to say yes to you Aidan, I have to protect myself and the baby.”

  “The baby? Do you honestly think I’d do anything to hurt it?”

  “Not intentionally, but I can’t let you get invested in our lives if you might bail when some woman in a short skirt and huge breasts turns your head.”

  “That was fucking low,” he growled.

  She wiped her eyes. “I’m sorry, but you know on some fundamental level it’s the truth. You’ve said yourself a million times that you don’t do long-term relationships.”

  “Yeah, well, people can change you know.”

  “You can’t imagine how much I want to believe that,” she whispered.

  Aidan sighed, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. “Look, that phone call I got from work was about how I have to fly to DC on Tuesday. I’ll be gone for a few days. Will you think about it while I’m gone?”

  “I will if you will.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “It means I want you to make sure you fully comprehend what you’re asking of me and yourself, and I want you to have a pretty clear picture of just what ‘more’ means to you.”

  “Fine.” He gave her a pointed look. “I will if you will.”

  The corners of her mouth quirked up in a smile. “It’s a deal.”

  20

  The sound of a car in the driveway caused Beau to hop off the couch and start barking madly at the window. “What is it boy?” Emma asked, abandoning her book. Beau whined and raced to the front door. Rising from the couch, Emma started over to the window. Surely Aidan’s niece, Megan, hadn’t changed her mind about Emma babysitting and come back for her four-month-old son, Mason. She had struck up an almost instant friendship when Emma met her at Sunday lunch at Patrick’s. Even with Aidan out of town, Patrick had insisted she and his future grandson come join them. It had been a little overwhelming being with all of Aidan’s sisters and their families, but overall, she’d had a wonderful time being part of his family.

  Since Megan had been thrilled by the prospect of Emma babysitting, she couldn’t imagine she would have changed her mind. When Emma peeked through the blinds, her heart leapt into her throat.

  It was Aidan.

  What was he doing here? When she had talked to him the night before, he had told her it would be another week before he came home. Glancing down at her faded Scooby-Doo pajama bottoms and ratty tank top, she shook her head. There was no time to try to make herself more presentable. Of course, explaining Mason’s presence was going to be a little more difficult than that.

  She threw open the front door and Beau scurried out into the night, yapping and wagging his tail. He mowed into Aidan and almost knocked him down as Emma hurried out onto the porch. “Hey! What are you doing here?”

  Aidan scratched a wiggling Beau. “My last few meetings got rescheduled for next week, so I hopped the first plane home to surprise you.”

  Swaying on her feet, Emma fought to catch her breath. He had actually done something spontaneously romantic? “Aw, that’s sweet. It’s a very nice surprise.”

  Abandoning Beau, he closed the gap between them. “I also wanted to come straight over here to see if you had given any mor
e thought to us being…more.”

  “I have.”

  Aidan’s brows furrowed. “And?”

  “The answer is yes,” she replied with a smile.

  Aidan’s expression turned over like a switch, shifting from apprehension to happiness instantly. “I’m so glad to hear that. I’ve been thinking about it the whole time I was gone.”

  “So have I.”

  “Most of all, I wanted things resolved before I have to go back to DC.”

  “When do you leave again?”

  “Tuesday.” Emma’s chest tightened at the prospect.

  Aidan’s hungry eyes roamed over her and he grinned. “Barefoot and pregnant, huh? Now all I need is for you to go in the kitchen and fix me some dinner.”

  She rolled her eyes. “I would have cooked you something if I knew you were coming. The best I’ve got is the leftover pizza I ordered in tonight.”

  He pulled her to him, crisscrossing his arms around her waist. “I’ll forget all about dinner if you’ll come inside and give me a real homecoming,” he teased, licking a moist trail up her neck.

  She shivered with her building need, but then shook her head. “Um, I don’t think that’s going to be possible.”

  “Why not?”

  “I have company.”

  Aidan’s arms tensed around her. He jerked his head back to stare at her with a puzzled expression. “There’s a guy here?”

  She nodded. “A very handsome one, too.”

  His jaw tensed. “But you just said…you just agreed to having more with me.”

  She bit her lip to keep from grinning at his outrage. “I know, but he was here before I knew how you felt, and I have to admit—there’s just something about this guy I can’t resist.”

  Without another word, he slung out of her embrace and barreled in the doorway. “Wait, Aidan, I’m—”

  He ignored her and busted through the foyer. Hot on his heels, she tried to catch him before he started yelling and screaming for the imaginary guy to get the hell out of there and woke Mason up. She watched as he skidded to a stop and froze in front of the pack-n-play where Mason slept.

  He whirled around. “Mason. You mean I just got all worked up over a baby?”