“Does Daddy live in a castle?” Andrew asked as he took in the ornate carved scallops and cherubs adorning the building.
“It’s a big house, isn’t it?” I said, not sure how to respond. I knocked on the door and was surprised when Devin answered. I’d expected a butler or something. How strange that I’d felt so close to him five years and then recently, but I’d never been here.
He smiled when he saw Andrew. “Hey champ. Welcome home.”
I flinched, and bit back a response that this wasn’t his home.
Devin’s smile was polite to me. “Come in.”
Andrew and I stepped into the foyer. It was marble and wood with a coffered ceiling.
“It’s fancy here,” Andrew said as he took in the surroundings.
“We’ve got a pool in the basement,” Devin said.
Andrew’s eyes widened. “In the house?”
It was stupid because I was in this situation from my own selfishness, but I wanted to lash out at Devin. He didn’t need to rub in how much more he could give Andrew than I could. But I bit my tongue.
I mustered a smile. “Andrew sweetie, I’m going to go now. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“’Kay.” He gave me an absent hug as his eyes continued to scan the room. I tried not to take it personally.
“I’ll bring him home tomorrow,” Devin said as I reluctantly went to the door.
I nodded, swallowing the cry of pain that threatened. “He’s got cookies for you and your family. And my mother sent you the Irish stew recipe, since you seemed to like it.”
His eyes narrowed and I wasn’t sure if he was surprised or suspicious by that.
“Thank you.”
I took a last glance at Andrew, who was looking at a painting of a nineteenth-century man I suspected was an ancestor of Devin’s.
“Andrew, be a good listener,” I said.
“I will,” he said absently.
It took every ounce of strength I had to walk out that door. It was only 24 hours, but so much could change in that time. Andrew loved me, but he was a little boy. This house was going to be more fun. Devin could buy him all the things I couldn’t. His mother could poison him against me. I was terrified that the child I was dropping off, wouldn’t be the child I received back tomorrow.
“He’ll be fine, Serena.”
I nodded. “Yes. Of course. If you have any questions or—”
“If there’s a problem I’ll call.”
I’d reached the bottom of the steps when I heard Devin say, “Andrew wait just a minute. I want to ask your mom something.”
I turned as Devin came to me. “Why didn’t you take the money?”
“What?”
“When my mother offered you the money, why didn’t you take it?”
I couldn’t imagine why it mattered. “The first time it was—”
“The first time?” He set his hands on his hips and frowned.
“Yes, she offered me money to soothe the pain of losing you, I guess. It sounded like I wasn’t the first one she’d had to soothe.”
He was shaking his head, but I wasn’t sure if it was at me or at his mother.
“I didn’t take it that time because I was pissed at being dumb enough to fall for you, when I should have known you were just being a player.”
“That’s not true. I cared for you.”
I shrugged. “The second time, I was so offended by her that I vowed I’d never take anything from the Roarke family.” I worked to bite back the words I wanted to use to describe his mother. “I accept full responsibility for your pain. But she was ready to let you go through life not knowing you had a son, too. In fact, she was ready to pay money to ensure you never knew. Once she made the offer, I knew I didn’t want my child anywhere near a woman who’d do that to her own child and grandchild.” Worried I’d gone too far, I looked down and took a breath. Once I felt stable, I looked at him again. “I know you can give him more things, Devin. And I know you care for him—”
“I love him.”
“I’m glad, because he needs that more than things or stuff or a reputation in an elite family.”
He glared. “You have some nerve to judge me.”
“Not you. Your mother and I made this bed. And I get that you can’t walk away from family like you can walk away from me. But you asked me why I didn’t take the money. Why I wanted to keep Andrew from you. She’s a large reason why.”
“You were wrong.”
“I was wrong to keep him from you. Absolutely, but I’m going to be honest with you Devin, I’m scared to death of what your mother might say or do to Andrew.”
His jaw tightened but he didn’t defend her. “I won’t let anyone hurt him.”
I tried to smile because this was going to be my life from now on. Me and Devin trying to be civil while co-parenting Andrew.
“You should probably get back to him. He’s a good boy, but he is four and likes to explore.”
“One more thing,” he said as I turned to leave.
“I want him to take my name.”
It was a fair request and yet the timing was such that I felt like he was purposefully trying to hurt me. I nodded my agreement and then started up the street since I hadn’t asked the car to stay. I’d get a block away and then decide what to do next. I didn’t have to work. I didn’t have to be with my son. I didn’t want to be at home or with my parents. What was there to do for a sad lonely woman in New York City?
26
Devin
I trotted back inside, pushing aside the idea that mother twice interfered with my relationship with Serena. Serena was wrong to keep Andrew from me, but I couldn’t deny that it would be impossible for her to go up against my mother. Serena was right, my mother was a part of keeping Andrew from me.
“Andrew?” I called when I entered the foyer but didn’t see him. Oh shit, had I fucked up already.
“You looking for this guy?” my sister said, at the top of the stairs that went to the main floor. “I found him exploring. You should probably deter him from that. The monster won’t like it.”
Andrew’s eyes widened. “There’s a monster.”
“Jesus, Bri, don’t scare him. There’s no monster,” I said, taking the steps up two-by-two.
“Mother. I meant mother.” She smirked at me. “Breakfast is ready.”
“Give me a minute.”
She bent down and looked at Andrew. “If he gets too boring, you come see your Auntie Bri, okay?”
He nodded. “Okay.”
She headed toward the dining room.
“It probably is best if you don't explore alone,” I said. “You can with me or Bri.” When I reached him, I squatted down to his level. “Did you have breakfast?”
His head bobbed up and down. “Toast and peanut butter.”
“For breakfast?” Was that a real breakfast?
“It has protein. Mommy says I need protein in the morning for my brain.” He pointed to his head.
“What about eggs?”
He squished up his face. “Yuck.”
“Pancakes?”
“I like pancakes but those are only for the weekend. Is it the weekend?”
“Yes. I’ve got pancakes for you this morning, if you’re hungry.”
He shrugged.
“Come on.” I took his hand and led him to the dining room. I inhaled a breath and second-guessed the wisdom of introducing him to my parents so soon. Maybe I should have taken him to my place.
We stepped into the entryway. Only Bri was there. I had a moment to regather my wits.
“How many people are in your family?” Andrew asked as he looked into the room.
“Four. Five including you.”
“Why do you have such a big table then?”
“He is brilliant,” Bri said as she poured herself coffee from the buffet.
“I don’t know,” I answered him. “Here, sit next to me.”
He climbed into the seat, but he was too short to adequat
ely reach the table.
He maneuvered onto his knees. “I didn’t bring my booster.”
“I’ll get you one later,” I said. I hadn’t even thought about what he might need. Jesus, I was fucking up this father thing from the get-go.
Carl entered with a plate, bringing it to Andrew. “Pancakes, sir.”
Andrew frowned. “I’m not a sir.”
Carl’s lips twitched. “The cook tried to make them look like cats.” He set the plate down.
Andrew looked closely and then grinned. “They do look like cats. My mommy makes clowns.”
It was silly to feel annoyed by that. Of course, he’d talk about his mom. She was all he knew. Still, I felt ripped off. I’d missed so much time.
“Sir?” Carl looked at me. “Shall I find something for Young Master Andrew to sit on?”
“Oh goodness, Carl, is Mom Downton Abbeying you too? Young Master…” Bri rolled her eyes.
Carl shrugged.
“Yes, if there’s something for him to sit on that would be great, Carl, thank you. Are they coming down?”
“They’ll be here shortly.”
“Have you warned him about her?” Bri asked sitting across the table from us.
“No. And I’d appreciate it if you’d behave too.”
She looked at Andrew. “I always behave.” She winked.
Andrew grinned and then looked up at me. “I don’t have a sister.”
“You’re not missing much.”
“Hey!” A piece of toast came across the table, hitting me in the chest.
“See, she’s not house trained.” But I glared at her. If she set Mom off, it would be a difficult morning and I didn’t need that for Andrew’s first day.
My parents entered together, which wasn’t normal. I wondered if my mom wanted to make a grand, master and mistress of the house, entrance, or if my father was keeping my mother in line.
I stood and leaned over to pick up Andrew. “Mom, Dad, I’d like to introduce you to Andrew.”
They moved toward us, my mother’s hard eyes staring at Andrew. Jesus, he was going to think she was the Wicked Witch of the West.
As they got closer, Andrew held out his hand. “I’m Andrew.”
“At least someone has manners,” Bri quipped from her side of the table.
My father took his hand. “You can call me grandfather.”
My mother gasped and looked at my father like he’d grown a third eye.
“It’s very nice to meet you, young Andrew,” he said ignoring my mother.
“It’s nice to meet you too.” Andrew extended his hand toward my mother. She looked at it like it had cooties. “My mommy says it’s good manners to shake hands when you meet someone.” I guess he thought she didn’t understand what he was doing so he was explaining it.
“His mom has manners too. Imagine that.”
I glared at Bri.
“Mother.” I hope she read in my eyes that I was telling her not to be such a jerk.
“I’m Mrs. Roarke.” She gave his hand a quick shake and then went to her seat.
Andrew leaned closer to my ear. “Is she your mommy?”
“Yes.”
“Isn’t she Grandma then?”
“Don’t worry about it.”
Carl entered with two thick books. “This should work for now,” he said, putting them on Andrew’s chair.
“What’s that for?” my mother snapped.
“So he’s tall enough to sit at the table, madam. Can I get you some orange juice?” Carl asked. “Cook is nearly finished with your omelet as well.”
“Yes, thank you, Carl.”
“So kid, you in school?” Bri asked.
“I’m four. I go to school when I’m five.”
“What? That’s too late,” my mother said, looking horrified. “He should be in pre-k.”
“Andrew here wants to be a pilot when he grows up,” I said giving Andrew a pat on the shoulder.
“You can kiss that dream goodbye,” Bri quipped.
“Bri.” I gave her a warning.
She shrugged. “First born Roarke boys don’t get to pursue their dreams.”
“My daddy took me in an airplane. We went so high and so fast, didn’t we Daddy?”
Everyone else at the table stopped and looked at me.
“We did.” I frowned as I wondered what was up. “What?” I mouthed to Bri.
“It’s so freaking weird to hear him call you Daddy.”
“It’s premature, if you ask me,” my mother said under her breath.
“Katherine, we have a guest,” my father reminded her.
“If you’re not in school, what do you do?” my mother asked.
I rolled my eyes. I was sure this was one of her sneaky ways to interrogate him about Serena. While I was angry with the woman, it wasn’t my mother’s place to probe Andrew for information to use against her.
“If my mommy is home, we go to the park or the library. When she’s at work, I go to Grandma and Grandpa’s house. We play games and read. I help my grandma cook too.”
“What do you cook?” Bri asked.
“Cookies and stew.” He looked up at me. “My grandma gave me the stew recipe for you.”
“What stew recipe?” my mother’s eyes narrowed.
“Daddy came over for dinner once and he loved my grandma’s stew. She thinks he should serve at…” He frowned and looked up at me. “I don’t remember.”
Inwardly I winced because I knew this wasn’t going to go well. “The Roarke.”
“Yes. It’s a fancy restaurant. That's what my grandma says.”
“It is fancy,” my mother said. “Too fancy for stew.”
Taking a page from Andrew’s books of naive honesty, I said, “It was true authentic Irish stew. More Irish than what is served there now.”
“And I suppose you plan on changing that when you steal away the company from your father.”
Everyone at the table quieted. Andrew looked up at me, his eyes wide with fear. “Is she mad?”
“No, honey, that’s how she always is,” Bri said.
I closed my eyes because I knew all hell was about to break loose.
“When I’m mad, my mommy tells me to count to five and then give someone a hug. Hugs always make you feel better.”
He jumped down from his chair and walked over to my mother. I could see what he was about to do and I wanted to stop him because I was sure it wasn’t going to go well.
He stopped beside my mother and extended his arms. “Can I give you a hug, grand…Mrs. Roarke?”
“Katherine.” My father’s tone suggested he was worried too.
She sniffed and then stiffly turned in her chair. Andrew put his arms around her. She allowed it, but didn’t return it. When he kissed her on the cheek, she flinched.
“Do you feel better?” he asked.
She mustered an insincere smile. “I do. Thank you, Andrew.”
“You’re welcome.” He skipped back to his seat. I helped him back into his chair.
“Who’d have thought all this family needed was a hug?” Bri said with a laugh.
Once my mother was out of the picture, the day went well. The weather was crappy, but Bri and I took Andrew to the attic where we indeed found some cool items and old toys, including an old Lionel train set.
“Just don’t leave it plugged in,” my sister said. “That plug looks older than Dad.”
We played hide-n-seek, and I taught him how to play pool. Andrew didn’t bring a swimsuit, but he did have an extra pair of underwear, so I took him swimming in his tighty whities. All the while I was making mental notes of things that I’d need to get for him at my place.
We had dinner again with my parents, and my mother wasn’t as shrill, although she was still cool and aloof.
It wasn’t until I put him to bed in the guest room nearest to my room that I started to have trouble.
“I want my mommy.” Andrew stood next to the bed, refusing to get in.
“You’ll see her tomorrow,” I said. I pulled a book from his backpack. “Why don’t we read this plane book.”
His lower lip quivered and his eyes filled with tears. “I want my mommy. Where’s my mommy?”
An oh-shit feeling came over me. That and a feeling of total and complete ineptitude. “I tell you what,” I started wondering if bargaining was the right thing to do. I mentally added a parenting book on my list of items to buy. “You get into bed, and we’ll call your mom.”
“Promise?”
“Yes, of course.” I pulled the covers down as I slipped my phone from my pocket. “We’ll video chat, so you can see her.”
He sniffed and nodded. He climbed into the bed, and I called Serena.
“Devin?” Her blue eyes filled the screen. It occurred to me that Andrew had blue eyes like her, but the shape of them were like mine, as was much of the rest of him.
“Hi…ah…Andrew is homesick. He’d like to talk to you.”
“Okay.”
I handed Andrew the phone. “See your mom here? And she can see you too.”
“Hi Mommy.” He waved at the phone.
“Hi baby. You having fun?”
“Yes. I went swimming in my undies.”
“Goodness. We’ll remember to pack your swimsuit next time. What else did you do?”
“We played hide and seek and Carl calls me young master Andrew.”
I didn’t want to eavesdrop, and yet I didn’t want to leave him alone either. I went to the window and looked out into the darkened night.
“So, it’s been a good day?” she asked.
“Auntie Bri likes to make trouble. But I like her, she’s funny.”
“I’m glad. Did you see your grandparents too?”
When I didn’t hear anything, I looked over at him. His eyes were looking at me as he held the phone close to his mouth and whispered to Serena. I couldn’t make out what he was saying.
“I’m sure that’s not the case,” Serena said, but there was something in her tone that put me on edge. Like he’d told her something that made her upset.
“She doesn’t.” Andrew shook his head. “I even tried to give her a hug, because you said people sometimes need hugs. I don’t think she liked it.”
An Irish Affair Page 19
