If Pigs Could Fly

by Gen Griffin

  Ian focused on nothing but the road ahead of him as he blew past the Callahan County Line.

  Forty five minutes later, Ian was in Chester County and the Audi was done for. He eased it off the road and into the parking lot of an abandoned gas station. The engine had just enough power to allow him to drive the car behind the long-deserted building so that it wouldn't be visible from the road. The lights of a small town were visible on the horizon. He tried to remember how many miles the last sign had said he had until he reached civilization. He didn't think it was going to be too far of a hike.

  Ian reached into the backseat of the Audi and pulled out the duffel bag he'd borrowed from his parents' bedroom closet when he'd swung back by the house to grab his money and clothes. The tackle box containing the cash and the jewelry was tucked into the very bottom of the bag. Thirty-six thousand dollars was plenty to start a new life with. He slung the strap of the bag over his shoulder, locked the doors, tossed the keys into a nearby ditch, and started walking towards the lights in the distance.

  Chapter 72

  “Ian? Ian?” Kerry lay crumpled in the trunk of his own car and wondered if he could stand the shame of having to be rescued yet again by the people he hated the most. He beat on the trunk lid with the palm of his hand. “This isn't funny! Let me out! It's cold in here!”

  Ian didn't respond. Kerry didn't know where he had gone or why he had left Kerry trapped in the trunk of his own car. What he did know was that the car was no longer moving and it was ridiculously cold inside the trunk. While the new holes that the shotgun blast had created in his trunk might actually have been helpful in providing ventilation, they were also letting in freezing cold air as the night wore on. Kerry was starting to worry about hypothermia.

  “Help! Someone let me out!” Kerry pounded on the trunk lid as hard as he could. He stopped banging when his arm got tired. He held his breath and listened to see if he could hear Ian coming back to the car. The dim echo of occasional distant traffic was the only sound Kerry could pick out from the dim ringing in his own ears. “Come on, Ian. Let me go!”

  He resumed pounding on the sides and roof of the trunk. Two hours later, Kerry was starting to realize that Ian might be planning on leaving him alone to freeze to death in the trunk of his own car.

  Chapter 73

  “Explain to me again why David stabbed this Leroy guy with a fork?” Sully dangled the official complaint report in the air between himself and Katie.

  “David didn't stab Leroy with a fork. Leroy was trying to run away from David and he tripped over Smushy.”

  “What is Smushy?”

  “Miss Loretta's Pomeranian.” Katie leaned back against her padded desk chair and wondered if she had any aspirin tucked in Hannah Mae's diaper bag. She normally kept a bottle in there for Mommy emergencies. Like when her back went out after toting Hannah Mae around all day. Or days like today, when she'd managed to get exactly two hours of sleep between coming home from Cal's parents' house and getting up and going to work at the Sheriff's Department. She supposed she'd still done better than Addison and Sully. They hadn't finished processing the crime scene at Frank's house until well after sunrise this morning. Both of them were working on exactly no hours of sleep and, in Addy's case, an unhealthy amount of coffee mixed with Redbull.

  “I'm lost,” Sully sat down on the edge of her desk. The sun was shining entirely too brightly through the large plate glass windows that covered the front office area and waiting room.

  “Leroy is Cal's cousin. He's April Lynne's younger brother.”

  “Okay.” Sully nodded to show he had grasped that much.

  “Leroy, April Lynne and their Momma, Caroline, aren't normally allowed in Cal's parents' house because they're all kleptos.”

  “Nice.”

  “Not really. Leroy and Caroline showed up at the house yesterday afternoon. Miss Loretta didn't kick them out because she felt sorry for them. Caroline was distraught over April Lynne and she said she just wanted to be with family.”

  “Understandable.”

  “It was,” Katie agreed. “Unfortunately you just can't be nice to some people. Leroy decided to pocket all of the real silver silverware out of the buffet in the formal dining room while he thought no one was looking. One of the guests who had stopped by to express his condolences saw what Leroy was doing and told Cal. Cal was in a nasty mood so he asked David to get the silverware back from Leroy.”

  “And David stabbed him in the ass cheek with a fork?” Sully was reading the words from the report that he'd just taken.

  “No,” Katie corrected him. “Leroy had hidden all of the silverware in his underpants. He saw David coming and tried to run away from him because he knew he'd been caught. He tripped over Smushy and fell on his butt. What do you think would happen if your underwear were full of very sharp, pointy forks and you tripped and landed on your butt?”

  Sully wadded the report up into a ball and tossed it into the trashcan beside Katie's desk. “I have a headache.”

  “Me too.” Katie reached under her desk and pulled out Hannah Mae's diaper bag. Hannah Mae herself was sleeping in her pack and play next to Addison's desk in the back part of the office. With Maggie out of town and Ian still missing, Katie had been fresh out of Monday morning babysitters. Not that she would have left her daughter with Ian after the events of the weekend. She retrieved the bottle of aspirin, opened it and swallowed two pills dry before tossing the aspirin to Sully.

  He glanced down at it and tapped four pills out of the bottle. “The public defender in Baker County called me this morning. Lowery is singing like a canary. He wants a reduced sentence.”

  “Is he pinning everything on Ian?” Katie asked.

  “He admits to breaking into a lot of local homes and businesses with Joe and Ian. He's confessed to the theft from Walker Hardware and a number of others. I'm going to be spending the next week and a half matching stolen items that we found in the house with the reports we took from the owners. Try to get as much stolen property back to the rightful owners as possible. I was wondering if you'd be willing to help me?”

  “No problem,” Katie said. “It's just matching descriptions and serial numbers. I can do it my sleep.”

  “Thanks. I appreciate...Fuck.” Sully was staring through the front window with a resigned expression on his face.

  “Fuck?” Katie followed his gaze to see the Sheriff's personal Dodge Dually truck come flying into the parking lot. For the briefest of moments Katie thought the truck wasn't going to stop and would just drive straight into the building. The Sheriff hit the brakes at the last possible minute and the big vehicle screeched to a stop.

  “He's undoubtedly found out about the warrant I got for his house by now. I'm probably about to get fired.” Sully appeared resigned to his fate as Frank got out of the Dodge. The Sheriff's face was red with anger as he slammed the door of his truck shut and stomped into the office on the heels of his worn cowboy boots.

  “What in the fuck has been going on here?” Frank Chasson practically screamed the words at Sullivan. “I left town for four days and you got a search warrant for my house? Are you fucking serious?”

  “I can explain.”

  “No, the hell you can't. You didn't have permission to get a warrant for anyone's house. You ain't allowed to issue warrants. It's my goddamned sheriff's department and I make the fucking rules! My rules are real clear. Nobody gets to apply for warrants but me. Nobody. Sure as hell not some upstart big city detective who's trying to make a name for himself.” Frank stomped up to Sully and poked him in the chest. “You crossed a damn line boy. You can't uncross it. Get your shit and get the fuck out of my sight. You're fired.”

  “I wouldn't fire him if I was you.” Addison appeared in the doorway that separated the front office from the back. He had bruises easily visible on his face and arms and he was wearing athletic pants with a t-shirt that said Callahan County Fish and Game because he couldn't get the legs of his uniform pants over his c
ast.

  “You.” Frank pointed his fat middle finger at Addison. “You traitorous little bastard. You're fired too.”

  “You can't fire me. I don't work for you. I work for the county.” Addison leaned on his crutches and gave Frank a big, fake smile. “Sorry to disappoint you.”

  “Disappoint me?” Frank nearly choked on the word as it came out of his thick lips. “Son, you have failed me. You have betrayed me. You had my house torn apart by the crime scene investigation unit out of Baker County. They wouldn't even let me in my own front door when Maggie and I got home this morning. They've got my entire place roped off and your name is on the order.”

  “Yeah, well, you should have told Ian not to murder anyone inside of your house while you were out of town.” Addison shrugged at Frank. “Seriously. April Lynne got her brains blown out in your dining room. The blood stains are never going to come out of that blonde hardwood floor. You can't really expect me to just ignore a murder.”

  “You would have done it for David,” Frank snapped. “Can't ever seem to recall you getting a warrant for Breedlove's place.”

  “David has never killed anyone!” Addison yelled at his uncle in exasperation. “Ian and his buddies went on a freaking crime spree that culminated in April Lynne dying in your dining room. The house is full, and I do mean full, of stolen property. What the hell was I supposed to do with that?”

  “You should have called me. We could have handled the matter privately,” Frank said.

  “Handled the matter privately meaning you would have disposed of all the stolen goods yourself and then claimed you never saw anything and April Lynne's death was an accident that didn't require investigation because good boys like Ian and Lowery were providing perfectly rehearsed witness statements?”

  “You cocksucking bastard. Are you accusing me of failing to uphold the law?”

  “I don't know...am I?” Addison limped into the room. “Sully and I have already arrested Lowery Smith and he's cooperating with us. He's admitted to all of the burglaries they committed and he's named Joe Carmucci and Ian as his accomplices for the majority of them. Carmucci is dead so there's not much we can do to him. We issued a warrant for Ian in regards to the deaths of April Lynne Hale and Joe Carmucci. Ian straight up told me that he shot Joe because Joe was glad that April Lynne had died.”

  “You're lying,” the Sheriff said.

  “Why would I lie?” Addison asked.

  “You want Ian in jail.”

  “Why would I want Ian in jail?”

  “You want Katie for yourself,” Frank snapped. “Everyone knows it. You're slandering Ian's good name so that you can get in Katie's tight little pants. Ian didn't hurt no one.”

  “Ian murdered at least two people, stole my boat, put a knife to Katie's neck and threatened to slit her throat...” Addison trailed off and looked over at Sully. “What am I forgetting? I know there's more.”

  “He burned Katie's house down,” Sully chimed in helpfully.

  “You have no proof,” Frank snapped.

  “I have his accomplice's confession, a house full of stolen items and my own eye witness account of the boat-jacking. He's toast.”

  “You're lying.”

  “I'm a sworn officer of the law and I have evidence. I am not lying.” Addison was beginning to get very annoyed with his Uncle. “If I were you, I would call Ian and tell him that he needs to turn himself in. Running from the warrant isn't going to help him in the long run.”

  “I'm throwing your warrant out. Cancel it. Ian is a free man. You don't have enough evidence and what evidence you have is going to get thrown out along with your warrant for my house. You have nothing.”

  “No.” Addy wasn't budging. “You can't throw out my warrants. I don't work for you.”

  “I can throw out Sully's warrants.”

  “Why do you think I signed Addison's name on all of them?” Sully asked. “I figured you'd fire me the minute I went after Ian. You don't care about the truth or what he's done. You only want to protect him.”

  “He's my son and a good boy. He's made a couple of mistakes. Who hasn't?” Frank yanked on his mustache, pulling several hairs out. The nervous gesture was familiar to anyone who knew him.

  “My mistakes have not involved stealing thousands of dollars from the citizens I swore to protect or shooting anyone in the back of the head,” Sully said.

  “If Ian's not a criminal, then why was I at your house until seven o'clock this morning?” Addison asked his uncle. He looked tired but determined as he stared Frank down. “The crime scene guys found fifty pounds of marijuana hidden in the crawlspace underneath your house. Fifty pounds. That is a shit ton of weed and it looked like it had been there for a very long time. The crime scene guys wanted to call in the DEA. Where did it come from, Frank?”

  Frank's face went from flushed red to a deep shade of burgundy. He choked on his own spit.

  “You might want to think for a minute or two before you answer that question.” Sully had his arms crossed over his broad chest. “Especially since I'm fired and don't have any reason to stay loyal to the Callahan County Sheriff's Department.”

  “Screw both of you,” Frank barely whispered the words. “I..don't...I didn't...you bastards.”

  “You're going to have to pick a story, Frank. Either Ian's a criminal and he and his buddies stashed a massive amount of contraband under your house after breaking in while you were on vacation....Or Ian and his friends are nice boys and I'm going to be in the very awkward position of arresting you for felony possession and intention to distribute based on the sheer quantities of drugs that are currently sitting in an evidence locker in Baker County. Not to mention all of the stolen property we found.”

  Frank went pale. “You wouldn't.”

  “Ian tried to hurt Katie. I am going to lock his miserable ass up for a very long damn time. You can either cooperate or you can get the hell out of my way.”

  Frank stood silently in the middle of the office for several minutes. Addison didn't move or speak. He just stared at his uncle and waited for the Sheriff to choose between his own freedom and Ian's.

  “You think you know how to run this county better than I do,” Frank said after several minutes. He sounded surprisingly calm and was no longer yelling. “You've thought that for a long damn time. Don't think I don't see the condescending looks you give me when I don't do things the way you think they're supposed to be done.”

  “You're a coward,” Addison said.

  “Am I?” Frank yanked on his mustache again as he glared at Addison. “You're an ignorant hot head. This latest stunt of yours proves it. You want me to choose between ruining my career and sending Ian to jail over a girl. Katie ain't even that pretty, Addison.”

  “Did you miss the part where Ian killed two people?” Sully interjected himself into the conversation.

  “Ian wouldn't have killed anyone,” Frank said. “Those two loser friends of his might have done it, but not Ian.”

  “He put a knife to my throat,” Katie spoke for the first time since the argument had started. She reached up and pointed to the scabbed over cut on her neck.

  “Are you sleeping with Addison?” Frank shot her a nasty look.

  “No, I'm not.” Katie was glad that it wasn't a lie as she forced herself to meet Frank's eyes. “And even if I was, cheating is cheating. If your spouse cheats on you then you divorce them. You don't burn their house down or put a knife to their neck and threaten to slit their throat.”

  “I don't believe Ian did either of those things and there ain't nothing you can say that will make me believe it,” Frank said.

  “Believe it. It's the truth,” Katie said.

  “You're a liar. I'll testify to that in court with a smile on my face. Katherine Cluster McIntyre is a cheater and a liar.” He held his right hand up as if he were swearing on a bible.

  “And I'll testify in court that I found bullet holes in your walls and weed under the house.” Addison stepped in be
tween Katie and Frank. “Leave her alone. It's not her fault that Ian's a hopeless loser.”

  “You're a liar too.”

  “Evidence can't lie,” Addison said. “Isn't that what you always told me?”

  “Evidence can be twisted to tell a different story.” Frank took a step towards Addison so that the two of them were nearly nose to nose. “I'm going to go into court and I'm going to tell them how Lowery Smith and Joe Carmucci broke into my house, filled it with stolen property and drugs and then killed poor April Lynne when she and Ian innocently walked in on them after Ian's miserable shrew of a wife threw him out of the home they shared with their little girl. I'm sure Ian tried valiantly to save April Lynne. Maybe he killed Joe Carmucci in the process, but who could blame him for killing the burglar who had just killed his sweet girlfriend?”

  “That version of events has more holes in it than a colander,” Sully muttered under his breath.

  Frank shrugged his broad shoulders. “It's believable enough.”

  “Except the part where you have to explain why Ian would have buried April Lynne in the swamp.” Addison studied his uncle's familiar face. “You disgust me.”

  “You don't have what it takes to fill my shoes in this town.” Frank reached into his pocket and pulled out his sheriff's badge. He tossed it at Addison, who had drop one of his crutches to catch it. “I'd been planning on announcing my retirement before the next election. In light of the events of this weekend, I've decided to retire early. Congratulations, Sheriff Malone. I'm appointing you as my replacement until the next election. My bet is that you won't last a month doing my job.”

  Addison nearly dropped the badge. “What?”

  “I'll have my resignation on your desk by the end of the day, Sheriff.” Frank brushed his hands together as if he was brushing away dirt. “I'll notify the county commission of my decision immediately. I'm sure they'll be in touch with you shortly.”