Chasing The Bodyguard: An Irish Mob Action Adventure Road Trip Romance

by Grace Risata

  “With pleasure. What’s up with Pete being in a coma?” I asked my sister. “I feel like I’ve been gone for years instead of months.”

  “Don’t look at me. If you would have bothered to check in every once in a while, you might be privy to the town gossip.”

  Yes, that would have been wonderful to call and check up on them and get asked a million questions about where I was, why I left, and what I was doing that enabled me to send so much money home. Just exactly like the pleasant family meals we’ve been having for the past twenty-four hours.

  “Since you’re sharing news,” Leandra piped up from the backseat, “How about telling me more about Betty Jo and her relationship with Samuel. Don’t spare any details.”

  I grunted unhappily as Chrissie turned in her seat to face my boss.

  “Okay. I’ll start at the beginning, so we go in chronological order,” Chrissie began, eager to have a captive audience for her stories. I never noticed how much she seemed to thrive after getting a little bit of attention, the way she currently behaved with Leandra. I suppose that my dad never really showed much emotion and my mom was always taking care of the farm instead of doing normal mother/daughter fun stuff. With us being so far apart in age, Chrissie must have led a solitary and boring existence.

  “This is great,” Leandra smirked, clapping her hands. “All I need now is some popcorn. Dish the dirt, girl.”

  “Betty Jo began dating Sam when they were in high school. She was the head cheerleader and he was on the wrestling team, but that wasn’t good enough. There was always pressure for Sam to join the football team. I guess she thought the head cheerleader should be with the star quarterback or something like that.”

  “Oh, there’s trouble in paradise already,” my boss squawked. “Lesson number one, Chrissie, never try and change a man. It just causes heartbreak in the end. They’re creatures of habit, and if you take them out of their comfort zone it doesn’t end well.”

  Really?

  I raised an eyebrow and glanced in the rear view mirror with annoyance.

  “Kansas is my comfort zone, Leandra. I left it to go to New York and I’m doing perfectly fine there, am I not?”

  “You like wrestling,” she argued. “You’re a boxer in New York. Comfort. Zone.”

  “He’s a boxer? Since when? Do you do professional fights? That’s dangerous, Sam!” Chrissie protested vehemently, forgetting I was the older sibling and she was the younger one.

  “We train at a gym together,” Leandra explained. “He practices boxing techniques as a method of working out.”

  It had begun to dawn on me that every single word out of Leandra’s mouth was some indirect version of the truth. She had never spoken an outright lie to my family. That was commendable. I should probably learn how to do the same thing so this fucking guilt would quit gnawing at me.

  “Eventually Sam broke up with Betty Jo when they went off to college, because that’s what you usually do with your high school sweetheart. Long distance relationships never work out at that age,” Chrissie explained.

  I smiled at my sister’s innocence. That’s totally not why we broke up. The relationship had run its course, I was focused on getting decent grades to keep my scholarship, and I caught Betty Jo giving one of the football players a blow job after the last game of the year.

  “You’re twenty-nine years old, for crying out loud. Why would she still be giving you googly eyes after all this time? It’s been ten fucking years!” Leandra griped from the backseat, not fully understanding the situation.

  “Oh, they weren’t done yet,” Chrissie insisted, causing my boss to scowl heavily in my direction. “Sam dropped out of college after…after…um…”

  I knew where she was going with that, and why the words couldn’t get past a lump in her throat.

  “I dropped out of college after our brother’s funeral,” I explained solemnly. “School no longer seemed important and I needed time to clear my head.”

  “How close were you to finishing?” Leandra asked.

  “I was halfway through my senior year and very close to a degree in agriculture. My father wanted me to take over the farm one day, but there were things I had to learn before I was ready. He tends to have an old fashioned way of thinking and refuses to research modern methods and techniques. I figured college was the only way for a chance to improve my life.”

  “He wanted you to take over the farm, but what did you want?”

  Leandra was too perceptive for her own good. It didn’t matter what I wanted. This farm was passed down from generation to generation. It was my birthright.

  “It’s the family business, Leandra. Do the math.”

  She knew better than anyone what that meant.

  Chrissie kept on going with the story of my life, much to my chagrin. I lived it. I didn’t need to rehash all the gory details.

  “Once Sam came home from the state university, Betty Jo took the first opportunity to rekindle their relationship. She actually quit attending our local community college after her sophomore year and had taken a waitressing job to pay the bills. Her parents kicked her out after she started hanging with a bad crowd.”

  “What happened next?” Leandra asked, eyes wide like she was watching a soap opera on television and desperate for the conclusion.

  “My brother took her back. I guess first loves are hard to get over.”

  No. It was never love. Love is all consuming, mutually respectful, trusting your partner, willing to give your life for theirs. Betty Jo was teenage lust. Nothing more than a nice pair of tits and a warm, wet pussy.

  I slowly shook my head, remembering all the bullshit she put me through. The nights she’d call in a drunken stupor and beg me to pick her up at the bar, only to find her laughing with friends when I came running like a dog called by its master. That happened one time. I never fell for it again, yet she continued to play immature games instead of behaving like a responsible adult.

  “We were dysfunctional,” I admitted ruefully. Being stuck back at the farm and forced to help my dad everyday took its toll and I was lonely with no other options for meeting women. I succumbed to weakness. It was as simple as that.

  “Sam found an amazing opportunity to work on a fishing boat in Alaska,” Chrissie continued, “So he seized the moment and took off for awhile.”

  I also left in order to get away from Betty Jo and a future that had already been planned since the day I was born. I wanted more from life.

  “Shut up!” Leandra teased with a gleeful expression. “No wonder where you got all those muscles. Really? An Alaskan fishing boat? How did I not know this?”

  “Evidently there are a lot of things you don’t know about my brother,” Chrissie mumbled, giving me a strange look. “How long did you guys wait to get married after you met? I mean…I can see the chemistry between you…but it seems like you don’t communicate very well at all.”

  “We had a whirlwind courtship,” Leandra replied dismissively. “What happened after the fishing boat job? Don’t leave me hanging here.”

  “I worked on a farm in Nebraska, just to see how they did things differently. Then my father had his accident last fall and I had to get my shit together pretty damn fast. After it became abundantly clear we’d lose the farm if I didn’t take drastic action, I moved to New York and the rest is history.”

  “What about Betty Jo?”

  “But what drastic action did you take?” Chrissie asked, ignoring Leandra’s question about my former girlfriend.

  “What about her?” I asked my boss, glossing over Chrissie entirely.

  “What happened when you left Betty Jo to take the fishing job?” she prodded.

  “Before I left for Alaska she was pushing for a ring, and there was no way in hell that was going to happen. I told Betty Jo that I wasn’t ready for a commitment and suggested she move on with her life.” I honestly didn’t give a shit what the woman did, as long as it didn’t involve me.

  “What about wh
en you came back to help your dad after his accident? Didn’t she want to re-ignite the spark?” Leandra pressed, eager for the gossip.

  “Thankfully, she was already married to Pete so I thought I’d be safe from her advances.”

  “But you weren’t?”

  I slowly shook my head, looked in the rear view mirror, and locked eyes with Leandra. I then cleared my throat and stared directly at my sister. I was hoping my boss would get the hint. News travels fast in this town and I didn’t want Chrissie repeating anything she shouldn’t have heard in the first place.

  “You saw her tonight,” I explained. “She’s very friendly with me.”

  “That’s honestly the happiest I’ve seen her in a long, long time, Sam,” my sister commented. “Betty Jo and Pete were having problems in their marriage. After she got pregnant, it was all joyful excitement for a few months but then things took a turn for the worse.”

  “How so?”

  Leandra was the one that asked that question, not me. It wasn’t my problem. Betty Jo wasn’t my responsibility anymore, a fact that left me extremely grateful.

  “Betty Jo started gaining weight and decided she needed more male attention to boost her fragile ego. I guess she started talking to guys online and Pete freaked out. He’s a decent husband but he just couldn’t take her crap anymore. The way I hear it…he’d been spending more and more time at work and less and less time at home with his wife. I suppose they needed the extra cash anyway with the twins coming, but that’s not where the money went. Betty Jo liked to pamper herself and go on shopping sprees before the bills were paid. I think that’s another reason they fought a lot.”

  “Get to the coma part,” Leandra urged, finally beginning to lose patience with the whole story.

  “After working a double shift, Pete was on his way home but never made it there. A drunk driver crossed the line and hit the poor guy in a head-on collision. They managed to get him to the hospital, but he has extensive injuries. Pete has been in a medically induced coma for about two weeks and the doctors aren’t sure how much damage has been done to his brain. It’s too soon to tell for sure, but they’re optimistic. If you ask him to squeeze your hand, I guess he does. That’s a good sign, right?”

  “Absolutely,” I replied. I was genuinely glad the guy showed hopeful signs of recovery. “I didn’t know Pete very well, because he was a few years older than me, but he seemed okay. I wouldn’t want his boys to grow up without a father.”

  “Pete had a wild phase for a couple years,” Chrissie shared, “But he calmed right down after marrying Betty Jo. I guess he just grew up and wanted to start a family. That’s why they got hitched.”

  Before I could reply, we entered the city limits of Oxville and Chrissie begged me to pull over at the nearest gas station.

  “I didn’t have time to go to the bathroom before we left home and I must have had too much soda today,” she confessed, squirming in her seat.

  No sooner was the SUV safely in park, did she jump out and make a run for the restroom.

  “Do you have anything to add to her version of the story, Samuel?” Leandra asked curiously, stretching out in a regal pose like she was Queen of the Backseat. “I have a feeling there are some discrepancies.”

  “When I came back to town after my dad’s accident, Betty Jo was one of the first ones to welcome me with open arms. She burst into tears and confessed that she didn’t love Pete, she’d only pretended to be pregnant in order to get him to marry her and pay the bills, and that she faked a miscarriage so he wouldn’t find out about the phony pregnancy.”

  “Wow. I didn’t see that coming.”

  “Betty Jo also told me she’d divorce him so we could be together.”

  “She sounds like a classy girl.”

  “Needless to say, I refused her offer and kept my distance. People change though. This pregnancy is obviously real, so maybe she’s matured.”

  “It certainly didn’t look like she’s grown as a person judging by the way Ellie May was all over you like stink on shit.”

  “Why do you keep calling her that?” I asked in amusement.

  “She reminds me of the dumb hillbilly bitch from the television show. You remember…black gold and cement ponds.”

  “Elly May had game, Leandra. All the California boys wanted to get into her pants,” I teased.

  “Whoa, whoa. Slow down, cowboy. Are we really having this conversation? Not only do I get loads of stories from your past, Mr. Alaska Fisherman, but now we’re having casual banter back and forth? Is this a hallucination? Am I really the one in the coma instead of Pete? What happened to stoic Samuel who never utters more than four words at a time and growls at everyone?”

  “He lives in New York. Here, I’m just Sam. The guy who cuts down trees and eats bologna sandwiches. Which version do you prefer?”

  She suddenly grew serious and replied, “I’ll take you any way I can get you.”

  I knew she meant it.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Leandra

  Chrissie got extremely excited the farther we drove into this ‘big city’ of Oxville. I honestly felt for the poor girl. She would positively have a heart attack after setting foot in New York City, if Shitsville got her so worked up.

  “Where should we take her to eat, Sam? There are so many different places,” the girl began, ready to list off the few choice eateries at our disposal.

  “I’m in the mood for Marla’s BBQ,” he replied with a grin. “Would that work for you?”

  Chrissie’s eyes widened with anticipation, but she soon shook her head in disapproval.

  “That place has amazing food but the prices have gone up since they renovated. It’s still as crowded as ever, though. Maybe we should look for a cheaper place. I know you guys don’t have much money.”

  Well, shit. She’s so humble that I can’t even handle it.

  “Can I make a confession?” I piped up from the backseat. I had to be very careful how I worded this next statement in order to keep from breaking my ‘no lying’ streak.

  “No,” my bodyguard instantly replied, while his sister got a worried look on her face.

  “I have money to spend tonight because I made a large bet on a boxing match last month and it paid off,” I admitted. Totally true. I bet twenty grand on my main man to win his fight, and he did. Of course, I had no intention of telling the kid how much I won. “So, we’re going to this BBQ place, ordering one of everything on the menu, and then having a wild shopping spree afterward. How does that sound, Chrissie?”

  Instead of the wild hooting and hollering I expected, she simply turned to her brother and mumbled, “Is that really the best use for your money right now, Sam? Don’t you have bills to pay back in New York? I can’t imagine rent is very affordable. What kind of apartment do you two have? Where did Leandra live before you met? Did you just move in with her or get a new place? What about—”

  “This isn’t twenty questions,” I muttered in exasperation. “What kind of dress code does this BBQ place have? In case no one noticed, I’m extremely sweaty, stinky, and completely disheveled. Is there any chance of ordering off the take-out menu and eating in the SUV? You at least got to change your t-shirt, Sam, but I’m shit out of luck.”

  “Sam?” he asked in surprise at my use of his shortened name. “Since when did you become so informal?”

  “I haven’t eaten a decent meal in days, my smell is one step above ‘New York City Sewer,’ and nothing is currently going according to plan in my life. I’m stepping outside the box, okay?”

  That’s a fucking lie. I’m drowning in all this valuable new information on the life of my secretive bodyguard. The mission is a success in my opinion. Pretty soon we’re going from the ‘intelligence gathering’ part straight to ‘operation: seduction.’ Baby steps.

  We pulled into the parking lot of an upscale eatery with large and well-manicured grounds. I saw mature shade trees surrounding a quaint gazebo, outdoor picnic area littered with tabl
es under red umbrellas, and flickering lights strung up adding a romantic vibe. I also noticed a pay phone firmly attached to the brick exterior wall of the building. Time to get down to business.

  “Chrissie, would you mind running in and grabbing a few menus? Also, could I borrow some change if you have it?” I pointed to the ancient relic and explained, “I need to call my brother and let him know we’ve arrived safely.”

  “But…but…I don’t understand,” she stammered. “Don’t you have a cell phone? Why wouldn’t you use that?”

  Good question. Too bad I have no logical answer.

  “He doesn’t believe she’s really in Kansas,” Sam answered on my behalf. “Her brother is convinced we’re off on some secret honeymoon. If she uses a pay phone with a Kansas number, he’ll have no choice but to believe her. They like to mess around and prank each other. They’re weird like that.”

  I raised an eyebrow in amusement. Yes, I supply him with drugs and he makes porn movies on the side to earn extra cash. We’re weird like that.

  Once she dug around in her cupholder for a handful of quarters, generously handed them over, and went into the restaurant, it was time to make my call.

  “This feels so nineteen eighty-four,” I admitted with a smile while waiting for my brother to answer his phone. “I haven’t used a pay phone in at least fifteen years. Probably more than that. Damn.”

  “Do you think he’ll even pick up?” Sam asked with concern. “It’s an unknown number, Leandra. That’s going to raise a red flag.”

  “He’ll answer. It’s Wednesday and I’ve been missing since Sunday night. He should be starting to get concerned right about now.”

  Sure enough, Ian took my call by the third ring.

  “Who the fuck is this?” he barked into the phone, irritated.

  “Is that any way to speak to your favorite relative?” I purred. “Your mother ought to wash your mouth out for the use of such vile language.”

  “How long have you got?”

  “I’m at a pay phone. Two minutes of uncensored conversation and then I’ll have to watch it for nearby ears.” That meant we were safe if anyone was tapping his phone. They would know my location, but it didn’t matter because I wouldn’t be hanging around for very long. I did need him to know that I would have company and couldn’t speak freely after Chrissie came back with the menus. “Give me an update and make it quick.”