by Grace Risata
“I’ve never gone camping before. I mean, I’ve seen it on TV so I pretty much have the basic gist of it.”
“Really?” Sam asked in surprise. “Everyone has camped one time or another in their life.”
“Not me.” My parents weren’t the outdoorsy types at all.
We continued to chill by the lake and bask in the sun. Sam never managed to catch any fish, and he suddenly decided it was time to leave around four o’clock. That was fine with me. More and more people started to show up and I didn’t want to be part of the crowd.
It felt really satisfying to finally have a low-key day with no life altering drama. Of course that was all about to change in a major way. Sam dropped a bomb that I was not expecting.
“Chrissie, I’ve enjoyed hanging out with you today and having brother-sister time, but would it be okay if Lee and I had a night to ourselves? I’d like to take my wife on a date.”
“Sure,” she replied, having no idea that any ‘date’ would really be our first one.
I cocked my head and stared at him, completely intrigued with this new development. I guess I’m going on a date tonight!
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Leandra
“What should I wear for this momentous occasion?” I asked as we pulled into the driveway at the farm. The curiosity was killing me, but I tried to act nonchalant and not pepper the guy with questions. Men didn’t appreciate clingy chicks.
“Jeans, your black running shoes, and a hoodie. When I use the phrase ‘going out on a date,’ I’m being literal. We’ll be outside.”
Okay. My mind buzzed with possible venues. Could it be a Drive-in movie? Sure, that’s a classic date night destination. How about a football game? Maybe, but not probable. Sports are not my thing. Ooh, what if we’re going to Todd’s house to do a little breaking and entering? I can scale a trellis just as well as the next cat burglar.
“Aren’t you trying to avoid mom and dad?” Chrissie wisely pointed out. “What if they cause a scene when you go in the house?”
“I’m not hiding from my own parents,” Sam insisted. “But maybe we should all stick together because of safety in numbers. First we hit the kitchen for food, make our way upstairs for more supplies, and then duck back down and out the door.”
“For fuck’s sake. You two are insane,” I complained, going along with the plan because I had no choice.
Sam grabbed a handful of snacks from the counter and then threw them into a grocery bag before we all crept upstairs like Scooby and his gang warily keeping watch for dangerous ghosts.
“Boo!” I whispered, tugging on a stray lock of Chrissie’s hair and causing her to jump in fright.
Sam steered me into the bedroom and said, “Quit playing around. Get dressed in warmer clothes and let’s go.”
I picked out some new jeans and a sweatshirt before taking off toward the bathroom and getting ready. Let’s see. Lipstick, eye-liner, mascara…that should pretty me up just enough for my hot date.
Eventually Sam knocked on the door and whispered, “Let’s go. We’re burning daylight!”
“Where exactly are we going?” I asked, peeking out the door with a questioning look.
“It’s a surprise. Just go with it.”
I do love the suspense of it all. If this turns out to be a bust, I’m going to have a major attitude. What if we’re going cow tipping or doing some other bizarre farmer activity?
Making sure I followed, Sam walked downstairs while juggling an armload of supplies. I saw a backpack in one hand, a sleeping bag in the other, and a large boombox that threatened to fall from the pile at any second.
“Let me help you carry some of that crap,” I offered politely.
He stubbornly marched right out the back door while shaking his head, and proceeded to dump the items into the back of his pickup truck. Ever the gentleman, Sam opened the passenger door for me and I hopped inside. Much to my surprise, he didn’t head toward the road, but instead drove in the direction of the barn.
Not satisfied with the enormous amount of gear he already had, Sam parked the truck and went searching for more supplies. I watched him add some wood, an axe, and a pile of newspapers.
Still not done, he made one last trip and came back carrying two lawn chairs.
“We’re all set,” he declared, putting the truck in gear and driving over bumpy soil that was most definitely not a road.
“All set for what?” I asked. “By the looks of things, you’re going to murder someone, burn their body, and then sit in comfort while you watch the flames.”
“No, I don’t have anyone to kill at the moment. I’m on a date with my wife. Murder and romance don’t mix very well.”
I wasn’t about to disagree with him, lest it ruin the mood. However, it was a bit unnerving to hear him call me his wife when no one else was around.
“Have you gone over the edge into complete insanity? Are you driving me out into the middle of nowhere for any special purpose?”
“Maybe I know my time here is limited. Maybe I’m going to have to eventually face reality and I’m trying to enjoy the last few precious moments of freedom,” he admitted, turning to face me while the setting sun cast an eerie shadow on his perfectly chiseled cheeks.
“Does ‘face reality’ mean going back to New York?” He was talking in riddles and I had no solid answers. It put me on edge.
“I want one night, Lee. Just one. I want to be Sam…the nice guy from Kansas who doesn’t have the weight of the world on his shoulders. Not the second in command to an Irish Mob boss. Not the wayward son who disappoints his parents. No bullshit drama with psycho ex-girlfriends. No responsibility. No stress. No thinking about problems I can’t fix. Just me. Don’t you ever want that?”
“Want what? A stress free life? I’ll never have it, so why waste my time pining after a fantasy?”
“You have it tonight. Just one night. You don’t have to be you. Who do you want to be?”
“I like being me,” I replied, even though I knew it’s not what he wanted to hear. Maybe I can play along just a little bit. “I suppose it would be somewhat relaxing to pretend I was normal.”
“Normal?”
“A nice woman on a date with a handsome man from Kansas. Not a boss and her trusted employee. Not someone trashy that gets dirty looks from her fake mother-in-law. Not someone that wears a lot of makeup as a shield to protect her from the outside world. Not someone that always has her guard up waiting for the next threat to land on her doorstep. Just a woman that’s in charge of herself and not a whole syndicate of other people. Just me.”
Okay, maybe I got carried away with his game. It was strangely liberating, if I’m being honest.
“Let’s do that, Lee. One night. Toss aside the roles that society forced upon us. Strip away the outer layers and just show each other what’s underneath.”
Fuck. Is he being literal or figurative? I would strip off every outer layer of clothing and show him my nakedness right fucking now!
I’m starting to get butterflies in the pit of my stomach. It’s actually nerves! Leandra fucking Donahue is nervous. I have no idea what’s going to happen right now. Either he’s going to start sobbing and turn this into a therapy session, or…or…I don’t even know what else is on the table right now. The possibilities are endless.
Just as I was about to have some sort of hyperventilating panic attack, Sam stopped the truck near a secluded wooded area and happily announced that we’d arrived at our destination.
“Where are we exactly?”
“You said you’ve never been camping before. Now is your opportunity. When I needed to get away from life, I always came to this spot, made a fire, and slept under the stars to clear my head. I was thinking this would be a nice night to do just that. I brought you with me to show you it’s not all bad here. Kansas can be beautiful too.”
Where was all this sweetness coming from? I desperately wished I had one of Ian’s movie cameras so I could capture this mo
ment on film and preserve it for future reference.
Oh, I didn’t even know the half of it. More romance was about to come. Much more.
Sam got out of the truck and began to set up camp. The first order of business was starting a fire to give us some warmth. Yes, it was a summer night, but once the sun went down it got a bit chilly.
“This is how you make a fire,” he demonstrated, showing me how to stack the wood in a teepee, put some newspaper in the middle, and then light a match to set the pile ablaze.
Unfolding our lawn chairs and placing them close together, Sam motioned for me to sit next to him.
“This is what life is all about,” he explained, staring wistfully as the fire grew in intensity, colorful flames danced back and forth, and crackling embers acted as background music. Wrapping an arm around my shoulders, Sam let out a deep sigh of contentment.
“Nothing but the starry night sky, a hypnotizing fire, and my favorite person in the whole world by my side. I don’t think you realize what you mean to me, Leandra.”
Holy shit. I mean…wow. I’m fucking speechless right now.
If I open my mouth, I’m ninety-nine percent sure I’ll say the wrong thing. My best course of action is to reach out and take his hand. Yes, that’s safe.
In response, Sam began to gently stroke my knuckles with his thumb.
“Ever since the first night when you marched into that underground fight like you owned the place, I haven’t been able to get you out of my head. Initially I thought you were crazy…just some wild firecracker that refused to let anyone tell her what to do…a bossy, over-bearing know-it-all with not a submissive bone in her entire body.”
Wait, what? How did I go from being his favorite person to a controlling bitch?
“But then I got to know you better and saw past the façade, Lee. I understand that you’re ruthless because you have to be, otherwise people will walk all over you. I admire your tenacity, your wisdom, and your strength. I’ve been trying desperately to push my feelings aside for six long months, but I can’t do it anymore. Seeing your behavior this week just took me past a point of no return.”
Sam let out a deep breath and looked up at the sky, appreciating the vast beauty of the universe.
“What behavior?” I whispered, needing him to continue this declaration of feelings for me. He had always been so closed off…and for him to open up like this…I was drinking it in like a withering plant that yearned to quench its thirst.
“I’m supposed to be your bodyguard, yet time after time you’re the one that protects me. You’ve never failed to have my back in every single situation when I needed you most. Sticking up for me in front of my dad, twisting Todd’s nuts until I saw tears in his eyes, stepping between me and a menacing biker with only a pool stick for a weapon, and most of all…showing such patience and kindness to my sister. I can never repay you for everything.”
“I don’t do anything with the thought of getting paid back. There’s no mental tally of who owes me a special favor,” I admitted before pausing to let my words sink in. “Okay, that’s a lie. In business I keep track of that stuff, but not in my personal life. You’re personal, Sam. You always have been. Besides, you took a bullet for me and possibly saved my life. We’re even.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” I whispered. Was he just being nice because he thought he owed me?
“Okay. Good. Because I quit.”
“What?” I screeched, eyes widening in fear, heart pounding nearly out of my chest, panic taking over every cell in my entire body. Without Sam, I would be lost. He meant everything to me.
“Relax, Lee. Just for tonight. I’m ‘Kansas Sam’ and you’re ‘Normal Lee,’ remember? I need you to know that any actions I take tonight…they don’t have anything to do with work. I’m not kissing the bosses’ ass or repaying any debt. I’m just me and you’re just you, okay? Please don’t forget that. I don’t want there to be anything between us. I can’t…I can’t worry about the consequences of tonight or it won’t happen at all.”
What the fuck is he rambling on about?
I narrowed my eyes and studied his face. I saw desire, concern, patience, and hesitation. As though he wanted to shoot for the moon and the stars, but was afraid of falling on his ass and failing miserably.
“Just Sam and Lee,” I whispered. “Just a man and a woman who have obviously denied their true feelings for far too long. What are we going to do about it?”
He shyly cracked half a smile, leaned over, and kissed me softly on the cheek.
“I’m going to make up for lost time,” Sam explained, standing up and grabbing his boombox out of the truck. Please understand that when I use the term ‘boombox,’ that’s exactly what it was. Some old relic from the 1980s that must have required ten batteries just to turn on. The radio was massive in size, totally inconvenient, and made me miss a cell phone that fit in the palm of my hand and held thousands of songs.
“I borrowed this from Chrissie,” he said sheepishly. “She can’t sleep without background noise and doesn’t have enough money for a proper iphone and idock and all the itech devices that people normally have at her age. Although the radio is a blast from the past, I think it might come in handy again.”
I raised an eyebrow and licked my lips with anticipation. Just what exactly did he have in mind?
“I’d also like you to realize I’m limited on song choices, Lee. This only plays cassettes. My mom had some classic songs from the 80s and Chrissie insisted on listening to them ad nauseum. The one I’m going to play…well…it kind of grew on me and it applies to the situation…so…yeah.”
He popped in a tape and I honestly felt like I time-warped to 1987. This is old school romance right here. Sam was an expert at laying on the charm. Then the first notes of the song began to play, and I actually recognized it and really lost my shit.
“As I watch you move across the moonlit room, there’s so much tenderness in your loving. Tomorrow I must leave, the dawn knows no reprieve. God give me strength when I am leaving…”
“I know this!” I screamed, fully impressed with my musical knowledge. “This is ‘Hands to Heaven,’ but I don’t know who sings it.”
Sam nodded his head, held out a hand, and murmured, “Dance with me, Lee.”
I instantly found myself wrapped in his strong embrace, swaying to the music as he softly sang the rest of the words.
“Tonight I need your sweet caress, hold me in the darkness. Tonight you calm my restlessness, you relieve my sadness.”
Son of a bitch! Never have I ever had someone treat me so tenderly in my entire fucking life. My heart started pounding again for a completely difference reason. This wasn’t out of fear, but rather full on butterflies like I was fifteen years old with my first crush. Damn. So innocent, yet ready to pounce on him wildly at the same time. Talk about mixed emotions…I was all over the board.
“So raise your hands to Heaven and pray, that we’ll be back together some day.”
We moved to the music in sync, as if one soul and one heart. If this didn’t bond us for the rest of our lives, I had no idea what might. Anyone can get naked and fuck each other, making sure the right parts lined up, but this was more. So much more.
“Breathe,” he said.
“I am,” I whispered.
“No. The band that sings this song is called ‘Breathe.’ That’s what I meant.”
“Oh, okay.”
I closed my eyes and inhaled the wondrous scents that surrounded me. Sam’s musky cologne mixed with the trees, the campfire, and the crisp night air. Every single thing was perfect. From the man baring his soul before me, to the full moon shining bright in the sky, to the sounds of this special song and crickets chirping as the background choir.
I was in Heaven. Utter and complete Heaven.
I took a deep breath as I fought back tears, and sent up a silent prayer to the big guy in the sky.
‘Dear God, this is Leandra. Please, sir, if there’s an
y chance of me being granted access to your house in the great beyond…would you please make this moment my personal Heaven? Just me, Sam, this night, this song, this moment right here. Nothing else. That’s all I need. Please. I’m begging you. Thanks. Amen.’
I know I’m probably not on the short list for entry through the pearly gates, what with all the greed, crime, corruption, and whatnot, but a girl has to have hope, right?
Gazing up at Sam, I realized his expression mirrored my own: joy, peace, and contentment. Standing on my tip toes, I capitalized on the mood and brought his head down for a sweet kiss.
But it quickly turned into so much more.
Sam eagerly parted my lips and deepened the kiss, taking what he needed yet showing remarkable restraint as though eager to savor the moment for as long as possible. I, however, showed no such self control.
My hands roamed up my bodyguard’s shirt, lazily stroking toned abs and massaging all the places that were previously off limits to my touch.
“Shirt off,” I demanded, desperate to lift it over his head and gain further access to the paradise that awaited me beneath a thin but annoying layer of cotton.
“Easy, tiger,” he replied. “We have all night. Just you and me. What’s the rush?”
“I’m afraid,” I admitted, staring into his eyes and letting down every last wall that stood between me and total honesty. I felt bare, exposed, and vulnerable. I didn’t like it one damn bit.
“Of what?” he prodded, not understanding.
“I’m afraid you’ll change your mind. I’m afraid this will be the best night of my fucking life and everything else will pale in comparison. I’m afraid I won’t be good enough.”
There. I said it.
Sam gently placed his hand under my chin and tilted my head up.
“How could you possibly ever think that, Lee? You’re amazing.”
“Your mom saw it. She knew that evil lurks right below the surface just waiting to get out. I’m not a pure farm wife, Sam. I’m tainted.”
His mouth twitched as though he was trying desperately to hold back laughter. Once he regained his composure, Sam wasted no time in reassuring me.
