Little Jack

by Atlas, Lilly

  “Tell me about her,” he said.

  Holly couldn’t help but smile a wobbly grin as she thought of her sister this time. “She was…she was the best friend a girl could ask for. So different from me even though we looked exactly the same. Joy was bold, outgoing, liked to push the envelope. Where I always wanted to spend my weekends baking and experimenting in the kitchen, she spent her time talking me into breaking the rules and riding our bikes all over town. She’d spend her allowance money before she’d earned it where I saved it for months to by whatever kitchen item I’d had my eye on. She was boy crazy and just plain fun to be around. Just a burst of happy energy. She really did her name justice.”

  LJ smoothed his thumb over her lips, then caressed her cheek with his palm. “Sounds like you girls were the perfect complement to each other.”

  As she spoke, Holly fiddled with a patch on his cut that symbolized his time in the military. “We were. Two halves of a whole.” And she’d been missing half of her heart for twelve years.

  “Will you tell me what happened?”

  She lifted her cup and took another few hefty gulps. Only a small amount of wine remained, so—screw it—she sucked back the rest then set the cup down next to the blanket. “She asked me to ride our bikes to the mall, which was just a few miles away. We weren’t allowed to, but Joy had talked me into it more than once. That day, though, I didn’t go. I had something in the oven, and I didn’t think we’d make it back before our dad got home from work, so I turned her down.” The memories of that absolutely horrifying day caused a reaction almost as sharp as though it were yesterday instead of twelve years ago. Her stomach cramped, and she started to shudder.

  “Shhh,” LJ said as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his lap. He now sat cross-legged with her cradled against him. “You can stop, sugar.”

  His strong arms and clean, soapy scent surrounded her like a protective bubble, making the pain recede a bit. “It’s okay. I want to tell you.”

  “All right. Take your time.” He stroked his large palm up and down her back in a hypnotic pattern.

  “S-she never made it home.” Holly exhaled. Would the devastating memory of the moment she realized Joy wasn’t coming back ever fade in intensity? Part of her hoped not. That sharp, painful reminder was so much less than Joy had suffered and kept Holly from ever forgetting how she let her sister down. “For about ten days straight, my father and his department searched night and day almost without rest. Finally, they found her on some property owned by the MC. She’d been strangled and dumped behind a building as though—” God, this was the hardest part. To think of or talk about. “As though she was t-trash.” The tears that she’d been battling finally won out and Holly buried her face in LJ’s chest as she let them flow. After this night, the man was going to run so fast he’d leave skid marks.

  “Fuck, sugar, I can’t believe you even gave me the time of day once you realized I was in a club.”

  With a huffed laugh into his chest, Holly said, “I harnessed Joy. Her wild heart and adventurous spirit. She wouldn’t judge one book by the cover of another.”

  “Fuck, Holly, you’re fucking wrecking me.”

  If she had her choice, she’d never leave the comfort of his arms. They could just stay right here, tangled up in each other forever. “Want to know something weird?” she said, resting her cheek against his chest. The strong, steady thump of his heart might become her new favorite sound.

  “What’s that?”

  “About six months before Joy was killed, I was riding my bike home from my friend’s house as fast as my legs would move because I was going to be super late and in serious trouble. My tire hit a rock, and I ended up soaring over the handlebars.”

  LJ winced. “Ouch.”

  “Oh yeah, hurt like a mother.” She shuddered at the memory of tearing the skin of her knees, elbows, and palms. “So, there I was, lying in the middle of the street with bloodied knees and elbows, but an intact head thanks to the helmet I always gave my parents a hard time about.”

  LJ chuckled. He played with her hair, and even though the evening had taken a severe turn, Holly wanted to purr at the delightful sensation of having this man pet her.

  “Anyway, a motorcycle pulled up next to where I was lying in the road, and this big guy with long, curly hair and an MC cut hopped off his bike and helped me up. He called me Little Miss and told me to climb on the back of his bike and said he’d give me a ride home. God, was I terrified. All my life I’d heard that the MC was full of sex-crazed maniacs who basically did drugs and had orgies all day long before going out and murdering innocent people.”

  When LJ snorted, Holly said, “You laugh, but I’m only exaggerating a tiny bit. Anyway, it was get on the bike or hobble the mile and a half home with knees that stung like a bitch. I can still remember the exact moment I realized the pain in my arms and knees outweighed my fear. And you want to know what?”

  “What, sugar?”

  “He couldn’t have been nicer to me. He delivered me home safe and sound exactly two minutes before my dad walked in the door. And the next morning, my bike was in the driveway with a brand-new tire and a note that said Thank you for trusting me, Little Miss.” She rubbed a hand over the left side of her chest where a familiar ache had formed. “For the longest time, I really didn’t think he did it.”

  “But?”

  She shrugged. “But he was convicted. And my family was one hundred percent convinced the right man was behind bars. After a while, it was just easier to go along with their thinking. And, I guess, eventually I started to believe it myself.”

  Once again, neither of them spoke, but this time the silence was much more comfortable. Finally, Holly said, “I should have gone with her to the mall.”

  “Oh, baby,” LJ said, grasping her shoulders and pushing her back to stare straight in her eyes. “That kind of thinking is nothing but toxic. Trust me, Holly, you can spend a lifetime playing what if and swimming in guilt and the only outcome will be you drowning. It won’t change the past, but it will poison your mind. Nothing about the night your sister disappeared is on you. You hear me? Nothing.”

  He spoke with such vehemence, such bone-deep understanding, Holly’s focus shifted from her own heartbreaking past to LJ. “Has that happened to you? The drowning in guilt?”

  His expression dulled, but he nodded once. “You don’t survive multiple deployments without coming home with some kind of guilt.”

  Holly wanted to ask more, craved to know everything about him, but he’d spoken with a finality that had her thinking he wouldn’t talk about it anymore. Plus, after spilling her own guts, she felt wrung out emotionally; not ready to dive right into another intense conversation. Hopefully another time. Because if this conversation had done anything for her, it’d made her realize she was fighting a losing battle in the war to keep her feelings away from LJ. “I don’t think you or your club are like the biker who killed my sister. I can recognize the difference, LJ. It’s clear as day.”

  “But your family?”

  And there was the heart of her internal struggle. “They’re never going to accept this. Even a friendship between us isn’t going to work. It’s not the kind of thing that will grow on them with time. They won’t tolerate it while disapproving behind our backs. They’ll be outwardly hostile.” She wanted to shake some sense into them. Clear the corrosion from their minds and force them to see how good LJ and his brothers were at their core.

  “You’re close to them?”

  Her laugh sounded harsh and uncaring, but how could she describe her relationship with her parents? “They love me. I know they love me, but their love has become a noose around my neck. My parents are petrified of something happening to me, so they are very involved in my life. I can’t go anywhere or do anything without them needing a full play by play and detailed itinerary. And the crazy thing is, I can empathize. I remember in vivid, gut-wrenching detail their reactions after we heard Joy’s body had been fo
und. It nearly destroyed them and what’s left of their lives would be demolished if something were to happen to me. I know we don’t have a healthy relationship, but…” She shrugged, out of words to justify her allowing them so much influence in her life.

  “They’re holding you back, smothering you, and you let them because of what they went through.”

  “Yes. But I’m working on it. Getting my own apartment was the first step. Working with Toni and Jazz is the second.”

  “And choosing a man they hate, is that the third?”

  Her eyes widened. Did he really think that? “No. No, LJ, no. I—God, how do I say this right? I like you. I want you. And both of those things were true before I knew you were in the MC. I’m not choosing a man they disapprove of. I’m just not letting their disapproval run me off who I choose.”

  And in that moment, giving this thing with LJ a fair shot became vital. Not just because the man was smokin’ hot and had brought her more pleasure in the past few days than anyone she’d been with to date, but because she genuinely wanted to spend time with him both in and out of bed.

  He was her choice, and if she passed by the first guy she’d been sincerely interested in for years, she might as well move back home, marry who they picked for her, and spend the rest of her life checking in with her parents five times a day.

  Hopefully, she’d have the guts to spell it all out for her father tomorrow at lunch.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  UNDER NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCES, LJ wouldn’t give two shits if a woman wanted to get back at her parents by fucking him. Hell, she could send them a video mid-fuck for all he cared. Getting involved beyond tension relief had never been his goal, so who the hell cared if some chick’s parents thought he was the scum of the earth?

  But in this case, he’d found himself holding his breath like some kind of love-sick chump while he waited for Holly’s answer.

  And it hadn’t disappointed.

  I’m not choosing a man they disapprove of. I’m just not letting their disapproval run me off who I choose.

  Those words had his cock filling once again, but more than that, an unfamiliar feeling of warmth developed in his chest and bloomed outward. Yes, he wanted to climb on and fuck her until she screamed, but he also wanted to check in and make sure she was okay. The woman had just flayed her past wide-open and left it bleeding on the ground. Ripping off her clothes and being impaled by his dick might not be her first order of business. With all she’d relived, he wouldn’t blame her if she wanted to dive under the blanket they sat on and hide for the next week.

  “So,” he said, tracing a finger over her jaw and down to her collar bone where he stroked back and forth. “What now?” His admiration for her had only strengthened as she spoke of her past. She’d asked if he knew guilt. Fuck, did he ever. For years, it had ruled his empty life. Now it only came to him in the dead of night, ripping him from the comfort of sleep and reminding him of what’d he’d lost. Though he’d downplayed it by about a million times, that shared negative emotion bonded them in a deep way.

  Holly met his gaze, and he’d be blind if he didn’t notice the desire deepening her blue irises. “Now, I’m hoping we can try that again, but without my freak out this time.” Her face turned an absolutely adorable shade of pink as though she couldn’t believe she’d been so forward. “If that’s what you still want, I mean.”

  With a chuckle, LJ caught the hem of her T-shirt. “If I want?”

  She nodded once.

  “Baby, we shot way past want the first night I met you.”

  “Show me,” she whispered as she climbed off his lap and sat on her heels.

  Fuck yes.

  With his cock now throbbing, LJ rose to his feet on the blanket, keeping his eyes on the gorgeous woman who knelt before him. Slowly, as though he had all the time in the world despite the rushing of blood in his veins, LJ bent to unlace his boots.

  “Let me,” Holly said, batting his hands away. She worked quickly despite unsteady hands as she loosened the laces. Once able, he toed off the boots, kicking them beyond the blanket.

  Next, his hands went to the button of his jeans. One flick of his wrist and it popped open. Holly’s heated gaze followed his every move, seemingly transfixed by what he was about to unveil. One shove of the denim had it pooling at his ankles. He paused, mouth kicked up in a half-smirk until Holly finally looked up at him and nodded.

  After he’d obliged her by stepping out of the pooled denim, she zeroed in on the sizable bulge behind the fabric of his light gray boxer briefs.

  “May I?” he asked with a smirk after it became apparent she couldn’t do anything but sit there gawking.

  “Please,” she squeaked, cheeks a rosy red.

  LJ hooked his thumbs in the side of his boxer briefs, then drew them all the way down and stepped out. His cock sprang out, then bounced back up toward his stomach. Thank God he was finally free of the tight fucking fabric. When he returned to his full height, Holly’s eyes nearly fell out of her head.

  “Um, you’re…uh…wow!”

  LJ threw back his head and let out a laugh. God, she was too fucking cute. “Shit, sugar, you’re good for my self-esteem.”

  “Pretty sure all you gotta do is take a peek down your shorts and your self-esteem will skyrocket, big boy,” she grumbled.

  “Holly?”

  “Y-yes?”

  He gazed down at her, still crouched at his feet. “Don’t be nervous. I’m about to crawl out of my skin with how much I want you.” He pointed to his very large, very hard dick. “Case in point.”

  He could practically see the war between shyness and need battling it out for supremacy in her mind. Finally, after a few moments of indecision, Holly rose high on her knees and scooted the foot or so to get to him. She smoothed her palm over the weeping head of his dick then down the underside, where she circled the base as though testing the size and feel of him.

  LJ hissed at the initial contact then groaned as Holly gave him a long, slow tug. When she licked her lips, it was all he could do to keep from grabbing her jaw and holding it open for a vigorous mouth fucking. “You gonna suck my cock, sugar?”

  She nodded. With her T-shirt once again off and the light from the bike illuminating them, he had a perfect view of the hardened points of her tits. God, she wanted this as much as he did. He bet if he reached between her legs, she’d be fucking soaked. Part of him almost passed on the blow job in favor of diving between those lush thighs, but then her curious tongue came out and licked under the head of his cock and LJ couldn’t have stopped her if the world was ending.

  “You taste good,” she whispered. LJ groaned. How could three mere words make his eyes roll back into his head even more than the feel of her eager mouth? With a slightly timid smile, Holly parted her lips and surrounded the head of his cock. The initial scorching hot pull of Holly’s mouth nearly brought LJ to his knees. He fisted her hair, aware on some level the grip was too tight, but he couldn’t get his fingers to open. Releasing her head meant she could pull away and he might actually die if she stopped.

  “Fuck, baby,” he said as the suction increased. She’d taken as much of him down her throat as she could tolerate, which wasn’t his entire length, but given his admittedly impressive size, was pretty damn stellar.

  More than enough to wreck him.

  At his groan, she let him slide nearly out of her mouth before diving back down his dick. Once, twice. On the third pass, he couldn’t help it—the need to fuck was too great—his hips punched forward of their own accord causing him to bump the back of her throat. He shouted as Holly gagged, the reflexive closing of her throat muscles strangling the tip of him in a heated grip of ecstasy.

  Just as he was about to pull back to give her a breather, Holly grabbed his ass and held him deep in her throat, swallowing. There went that same massage to the head of his dick as when she gagged. He almost shot his load right there. Beads of sweat rolled down his face as he fought the impending orgasm by re
calling the upcoming week’s work schedule. The technique would only be effective for so long, especially with her hungry mouth still devouring him.

  As incredible as that mouth felt, LJ needed to come in her pussy this first time. He just needed that full body connection. Mark her deep inside even though he’d be unloading in a condom.

  Forcing himself to release her head, he cupped her jaw and held her still while he slid out of her lips. Wet from her mouth and as hard as fucking ever, his dick slapped against his stomach, spreading her saliva. For some reason, he fucking loved that, only wishing it was wetness from a different part of your body.

  “Wh—”

  “Want inside your pussy, sugar. Need to feel it all around me.”

  “Oh.” Her mouth formed the perfect O shape that mimicked her round eyes.

  “How about you get those pants off and let me feel how much you liked sucking my cock?”

  While nodding, Holly scrambled to her feet and shimmied out of her workout pants and panties at the same time. When she was naked, she stepped right up to him, molding her body to his.

  LJ kissed her, enjoying the desperate way she clung to his shoulders and wrapped a leg around the back of his thighs. Her hips moved against his leg as though she’d do anything to fulfill the need. And that just wouldn’t do.

  “I got you, baby,” he murmured against her mouth as he dove two fingers between her legs into the drenched folds.

  “LJ,” Holly cried as her hands curled into his biceps and her head fell against his chest.

  “Jack,” he countered as he swept an arm under her leg, lifting her off the ground then lowering them to the blanket. “When we’re like this, I’m Jack.”