Little Jack

by Atlas, Lilly

  While soaking up the calm for a few moments, Holly let her gaze wander to LJ’s table as it often did when he came in to eat. He made a point to stop in every time she worked, even if it was only to grab a coffee on the run. Her heart never failed to flutter when the bell above the door jangled, and she looked up into his heated gaze. And her man never failed to leave her with a lip-lock that had her turning beet red at work. Today, he and Rocket had estimates to write up, so they’d decided on a late working breakfast.

  LJ caught her staring as he always did when she gawked at him. The stud had some kind of radar alerting him when her eyes were on him, which was pretty much all the time. Come on, with a T-shirt hugging his muscles, face tight with concentration, and a pen tapping those lips she loved, the man was hot as hell. The wink he shot her way had her face heating at the memories of that morning and the way those lips made her scream out his name as she came. Good Lord, she’d never be able to show her face to the neighbors above or below her again.

  The bell clanged, and Holly turned to greet the next customer. She tried to welcome each patron since she was the first employee they encountered walking through the door.

  “Good morning,” she said before she fully faced the entrance. “Welcome to—Dad!”

  Her father marched in, uniform on, followed by three deputies. Each wore varying degrees of a scowl. The rigid set of her father’s shoulders, combined with his piercing gaze, and lack of greeting let her know he wasn’t here with a hankerin’ for a scone.

  This was business.

  And that couldn’t be good for Toni.

  LJ was on his feet and cruising toward Holly before her father reached her counter.

  “Thant’s far enough,” her father said, holding out his hand as LJ neared. LJ’s mouth flattened but stopped about ten feet out.

  Holly gripped the edge of the marble so hard her fingertips ached. “What’s going on, Dad?” she asked as he approached.

  Toni emerged from the kitchen, eyes narrowed, and lips compressed.

  “You the owner, ma’am?” her father said to Toni, who’d worn a simple coral sheath dress. Most of the time, she dressed as casual as the rest of the employees, but she’d had an appointment earlier and had upped her game.

  “Yes, Sheriff. Something I can help you with today?” As she spoke, Toni dried her hands on a bar towel. Most likely it was to keep her hands busy enough she wouldn’t be tempted to flip Holly’s father off or try to wring his neck. Neither of her hands appeared very wet to begin with.

  “I’m gonna need to shut this place down for the day at least,” her father said in a voice loud enough everyone in the diner could hear the announcement.

  “The fuck?” LJ said, advancing two more steps.

  Holly gasped, and Toni looked like she might scream.

  “Dad,” Holly started.

  “Honey, please, this is between me and the proprietor of this establishment,” he said without so much as a glance in her direction. His gaze focused on Toni except for every few seconds when he checked in on LJ out of his peripheral vision.

  Holly’s jaw nearly hit the floor. Never before had her dad dismissed her in such a flippant, unfeeling manner as though she was nothing more than a pesky fly. She risked a glance at LJ whose feet were spread, hands fisted at his sides as if preparing for a fight.

  Concern number one centered around keeping LJ from having a panic attack. He’d completed three sessions with the therapist she’d recommended, and the results seemed to be positive, but three sessions didn’t exactly equal a cure. She shot him what was supposed to be a reassuring smile.

  Probably just looked like gas with the way her insides churned.

  “All right, sheriff,” Toni said as she lost the air of friendly ignorance. “You’ve made your spectacle in front of my customers. Got everyone all worked up and wondering what’s going on. This will fuel the town’s gossip for days. Now, state your business or let me go about mine.”

  You go girl.

  God, if only Holly had balls half the size of Toni’s, she could have wiggled out from under her parents’ heavy thumbs years ago.

  He handed a folded piece of paper over to Toni without another word.

  Holly rolled her eyes. So this was how he planned to play it? Couldn’t even make a bit of a concession for the fact his daughter stood five feet away.

  Screw it.

  “What’s this about, Dad?” Holly asked as Toni unfolded the paper. Her friend’s face went from mildly annoyed to infuriated in a matter of seconds. The diner remained quieter than ever before as every patron, employee, and cop stared in their direction.

  Jesus, was that a smirk on her father’s face?

  “Apparently, I’m using the diner to traffic illegal narcotics,” Toni said with a huff.

  “Jesus fucking Christ, this is some rank bullshit,” LJ said.

  Holly laughed. It came out as a bark of shock and disbelief but quickly morphed into a full-on laugh. “You have got to be kidding me.” She turned to her father. “Toni? Trafficking drugs?”

  The sheriff wasn’t laughing. “This isn’t a joke at all, Holly. We arrested a low-level dealer yesterday who claimed he received his supply here.”

  “Then he’s lying,” Toni said as she tossed the papers to the counter. “Go ahead Sheriff, search the fuck outta my place. Waste your time and mine.” With that, she stormed off to her office.

  “Don’t leave the building, ma’am,” one of the deputies called.

  “Wouldn’t dream of it. I’m not going to miss out on the apology when you find jack shit,” Toni called, but she was no longer within view.

  “All right,” the same deputy yelled, the one who’d interrogated LJ a few weeks ago. Deputy Brown. “If you work here, please stay. If you’re a customer, I’m sorry to cut your meal short, but you need to vacate the premises immediately.” He wandered farther into the diner, ushering customers toward the exit.

  LJ didn’t budge from where he stood sentry, neither did Rocket who’d joined him midway between their booth and Holly’s counter. Though, as Brown passed by, LJ’s nostrils flared, and he cracked his knuckles. Thankfully, LJ seemed to realize walking over to where Holly stood by her father would only antagonize the man and escalate a volatile situation, so he stayed put, but sent death rays her dad’s way.

  “Dad, Toni isn’t some secret drug kingpin. I’m not sure who gave you this information, but it’s not accurate. It’s seriously ridiculous.”

  And please don’t let it be made up by you as a way to screw with the MC’s businesses.

  “Your friend Toni has an ugly history, Holly. You think the best of people, always have, but that’s a naïve way to go through life.” He rested his palms on the counter and sent a pitying look her way. Not for the first time since he began his war on the MC, Holly noticed how unhealthy he looked. Pale with bags under his eyes and more rapidly graying hair. Was it their strained relationship taking a toll on his health? Or had he just forsaken caring for himself in favor of using all his time and energy to screw with the Handlers?

  Normally, she’d have more sympathy for him, but after the incident with Schwartz, she’d reached her limit.

  With an exaggerated roll of her eyes as though she were a huffy teen again, Holly threw her arms in the air. “Oh, come off it, Dad. I know all about Toni’s history. Which is why I know she isn’t dealing drugs. Toni was a young, dumb kid when she got into trouble. What? All of a sudden you’re holding who people were as kids against them now? You should probably lock yourself up because I’m pretty sure you told me some stories about making a few shitty decisions yourself back in the day. Trust me, Toni is not that kid anymore. She’s a fully-grown woman who has suffered over the decisions of her past. She’s a business owner who helps kids in situations similar to the one she found herself in back in high school.”

  “Or she sells those kids drugs,” her dad said in a mocking tone as though Holly were a moron.

  Holly frowned. Did he truly
believe that?

  “Her ol’ man is the enforcer for an outlaw MC, Holly.” He sounded like he tasted something disgusting.

  “So that’s what this is all really about? Your constant attack on the Handlers? Dad, you need to give it up. This club isn’t what you think.”

  By now, the few who remained in the diner had tuned into the father-daughter showdown. Holly was beyond caring. This had to stop before Copper decided he’d been patient enough and took a more aggressive approach. One that cost her father his job, landed him in the hospital, or worse.

  Her dad leaned across the counter and got right in her face. “This is what I meant about you getting caught in the crossfire. Here you are dating a criminal, working with criminals. Holly, you don’t belong here. You’re better than this.”

  “Fuck that,” LJ muttered.

  She opened and closed her mouth a few times before finally saying, “Better like who? Like Rick Schwartz who’s a drunk asshole? Better than a man who encourages my dreams and allows me to be myself?” Her focus drifted to LJ, who was watching her. As their gazes met, his face softened though his stance remained rigid. “Better than a man who makes me feel safe and would never punch me in the face? Better than a man who treats me like I’m made of gold?”

  Her father snorted and slapped his palm against the glass display case. “Encourages your dreams? You’ve given up on your dream. You’ve wanted to own a bakery since you were a child. Now you’re working for someone else? Selling a few things at a counter. You seem like you’re settling in here, not using it as a stepping stone to start your own place.”

  “Well—I…” Shit. He had her there. Working with Toni, Jazz, and the rest of the crew had been so much fun, over the past few weeks, Holly began to think of herself as a permanent fixture in the diner. Would that be so terrible? Life changed. She’d moved, made new friends, met a new man; only seemed fitting to create a new dream. Or at least an altered version of her original dream. Holly hadn’t once viewed working with and for Toni as giving up until he’d uttered those words.

  Now, they burned an uncomfortable hole in her brain.

  Is that what she was doing? Giving up? Settling?

  Her father must have taken her silence as agreement because he continued. “Come with me now, Holly and I can keep you out of all this. We can move on as a family, and this will just be a dark blip in your life.”

  A dark blip? What? These had been the best freakin’ days of Holly’s life. “Wha—” She lifted a hand to her temple as her head began to throb. “I don’t…Dad, I’ve been so happy.”

  The smile he gave her was rife with pity. As though she was some dumb teenage girl who gave her virginity away to a football player under the bleachers and now realized how used she’d been. “Holly, it’s not real happiness. It’s infatuation, lust, rebellion, whatever you want to call it.”

  Her head swirled. “No, it’s not.”

  “I admit we’ve been overprotective, your mother and I. You’ve never had the chance to go wild like most kids do. So you’re doing it now, a few years too late. But these choices have consequences. Severe ones. Your sister paid the ultimate price for her poor decisions. The same could happen to you.”

  No.

  Rebellion? Her relationship with LJ and friendship with the ol’ ladies of the MC couldn’t be described as rebellion. Could it? Had she channeled Joy a little too well?

  Her mouth turned down.

  “Holly,” LJ said from across the room where the deputy had herded him and Rocket. “Don’t listen to this bullshit. You know it’s fucking garbage.”

  “Shut the fuck up!” her father roared. Out came his weapon. “Hands up mouth closed, or I’ll drag you downtown. Again.”

  LJ seethed, smoke practically rising from his body. But what choice did he have? He lifted his hands, shut his mouth and stared at Holly with a look so imploring she nearly cried.

  She’d been on cloud nine just a half-hour ago. Now, doubt, confusion, and fear dominated her emotions and had her questioning her every move.

  “Here’s how this is going to go, Holly. You have one chance to walk out the door with me.” Her father cupped her face between his hands, keeping her attention on him. “One chance to save yourself from all of this. Otherwise, I’m washing my hands of you. You’ll be lumped in with the rest of these losers. I won’t be able to protect you when the entire club implodes. You’ll be risking serious jail time. Make your choice.”

  She jerked out of his hold as everyone remaining in the diner went bananas. LJ ignored the order to keep quiet and threw more profanities at her father. Rocket went against his customary silence. Toni reemerged from her office to add her disbelief to the mix. Jazz exited the kitchen, escorted by one of the deputies. Her dad screamed at everyone to shut up, but no one listened.

  All the sounds merged into one loud buzzing in Holly’s head. Choose? Choose between her family and LJ? No, no, no. That wasn’t possible. How had it come to this? Despite all the drama of the past few weeks, Holly had truly believed in her heart of hearts, she and her family would work out their issues and find a new common ground to exist on. Sure, she’d known their relationship would change and be strained for a while. But to be written out of their lives? Since Joy died, they’d drilled into her how petrified they’d become of her getting so much as a hangnail. Over and over she’d listened to them express how their lives would end should they lose her.

  And now they were willing to toss her away? Did her mother feel the same? How was it possible?

  She shook her head as her father’s form blurred in her vision. Blood rushed in her ears. All of a sudden, she couldn’t catch her breath. She pressed a hand to her chest as she stumbled backward, crashing into the coffee maker. God, was this how LJ felt in the midst of a panic attack? Out of control, confused, and terrified, unable to get his body to respond to commands?

  How did someone choose between their family, their blood, and a man they…

  Oh, God.

  Her arms fell to her sides.

  A man they loved.

  An impossible decision with an outcome of intense pain no matter which side she chose.

  How to make that choice?

  “I don’t know,” she answered her internal question out loud.

  She looked between her dad and LJ and back again at least four times, shaking her head while her eyes grew wetter and wetter with unshed tears. Then she closed them and just let the tears fall.

  A hand cupped her elbow. “Come on, Holly.”

  Her father’s soothing tone registered, but her brain wouldn’t process what it meant for her. Feeling as though her mind had separated from her body, Holly allowed herself to be led outside and gently pushed down to the curb. She had no idea how long she sat there staring at nothing while her brain tried to process the past few moments.

  Eventually, her father joined her. “You made the right choice, Holly.”

  What? Right choice? She hadn’t made any choice. She’d sat there in a trance.

  Holly forced her body to move and turned toward her father. His face was drawn in concern.

  “I-I didn’t make any choice, Dad.” Her mouth felt sticky and dry.

  He frowned. “But you came out with me. Holly, you’re just upset, tired. You came out with me and left that all behind. You did good, honey. When you’re ready, we’ll head home to your mother. I’ll call her to get some things from your apartment so you can stay with us until we find you a new place. A safe place.”

  A new apartment? No. She wasn’t leaving LJ.

  Holly blinked and looked around, suddenly realizing she was in fact out of the diner. Shit, she’d been so deep in Zombie mode, she’d allowed herself to be maneuvered. “LJ,” she whispered as she looked over her shoulder at the building. He must be freaking out. “Where’s LJ?”

  “Who cares?”

  “I care, Dad. I care about him very much. Where is he?” She searched right and left trying to catch sight of the man.

&nb
sp; He shrugged. “Come on. Let’s go home. Your mother has been worried sick about you.”

  Clarity hit her then like a ton of bricks. Her choice had been made. “Worried about me?” She laughed, and the high-pitched slightly hysterical sound would have terrified her had it come from someone else. “Worried enough to fabricate an injury and send me off to an asshole who hit me? Like you’re worried enough to storm into my place of business and threaten to arrest me and my friends. Worried enough to haul the man I love into jail even though I was screaming at you to stop? You call that worry?”

  “Love?” Her dad barked a bitter laugh. “Holly, you’re a silly child who has no idea what love is. Now stop this tantrum and let’s go.”

  “I’m not going anywhere with you. Not now, and apparently not ever, since you’re the one who issued the ultimatum.” She shot to her feet. “And I do know what love is. Even better, I know what it isn’t. It isn’t threats and stipulations. It isn’t forcing someone to bend to your will. It isn’t impossible choices and emotional blackmail. It’s allowing the person you love to be who they are, flaws and all. It’s supporting someone even if you don’t understand or fully agree with their choice. It’s encouraging someone’s dreams and creating new dreams with them. It’s all the things LJ gives me and everything I want to give to him. Now, if you’ll excuse me, Sheriff, I need to get inside to the man I love. I’m sure your deputies have finished searching for something that doesn’t exist.”

  Her legs trembled as she stomped to the diner’s entrance. She kept her head held high despite the urge to curl up into a ball and grieve the loss of her family. Once LJ’s arms closed around her, she could let the emotions fly free, but she’d be damned if her father saw her cry right now.

  The bell jangled when she stepped through the door as though she were a hungry customer instead of an exiled daughter on the verge of a breakdown. She scanned the empty space. All the deputies had left at some point while she’d been zoned out. Jazz and Toni were the only two who remained, seated at a booth drinking coffee. Zach would probably be by any minute, storming in like a Tasmanian devil with the force of his outrage.