Survive

by David Haynes

  “I was thinking,” he started. “Maybe we ought to have a little chat. You know, talk about a few things. Discuss what happened up at that cabin.” He paused. “And what didn’t. Sometimes what didn’t happen is as important as what did.”

  He heard the dog stand up and stretch. It’s muscles made a sound like a bowstring being drawn.

  “Come on, Lauren. We have to talk.” He gripped the shovel’s shaft tighter. If the dog came at him, he’d have to make the first blow count. There wouldn’t be a chance for a second. The shovel would be a better weapon in two hands but that was out. No way he could make a fist with his left, let along hold onto something.

  He heard her whisper something to the dog, something soothing. It made a strange sound from its throat. The dog was looking out for her. How the hell had she managed that?

  “You got him under control?”

  She didn’t answer.

  “Because I’m walking toward you and if he makes a move I’ll lay into him with this.” He shook the shovel. “No doubt he’ll take a chunk out of me but I can guarantee he’ll be seeing cross-eyed for a while.”

  He took a couple of tentative steps toward the shaking flashlight. The dog was quiet.

  “This doesn’t need to be difficult. We just need to understand each other. Okay, honey?” He didn’t like being under the spotlight like this. It was unnerving not being able to see her or the dog.

  He heard the dog lick its mouth.

  “You got him?” He saw her then. Huddled in the corner like a scared rabbit, fur draped all over her and the floor. The dog – what was his name? Lad? – was sitting next to her like a sphinx. He was one magnificent animal.

  “Got yourselves a regular little love-nest here, huh?” He stepped to one side, away from the dog. It was a big bastard. Much larger than he remembered, and it was clear from the way it regarded him they were never going to be best friends.

  “I know you haven’t said anything and I appreciate that. But you were kinda involved too. I’m pretty sure you don’t want those two nice folks up there knowing what happened. I mean, it’s not the kind of thing you’d want to talk about over dinner, is it? I get that, but...”

  She turned away from him, her face in profile. “Don’t.”

  “I won’t if you won’t.”

  She remained silent.

  “Now we can get through the winter the easy way, see it out with our new friends until the spring and then we get out of here, back to civilization. You go your way, I go mine. We call it quits. Nobody needs to know what happened. Or...I see it out in that nice warm cabin, eating steak and sleeping in a big old comfortable bed, all on my own. Jonesy and Lisa...” He paused again. “Now I think about it, that way does sound more appealing. Maybe if things get a little...tight in the food department, it might go down that way.”

  He needed to ensure her silence was absolute. She had first-hand experience of what he was capable of and that made her afraid of him. But the truth of the matter was, until a couple of weeks ago, he didn’t know exactly what he was capable of, not the full extent. It was incredible what the will to survive could do to a man. Or a woman, for that matter.

  There was a risk but if it came to it, he knew what he would do. Lauren did too. And that was the important thing.

  “Think you can work with me on this? Easy decision really.” He touched her forehead with the end of the shovel’s wooden shaft. She flinched. “Don’t you think?”

  She nodded. It was barely perceptible in the gloom but she nodded. “They’re good people.”

  “That’s right, they are. I don’t want to have to hurt them, Lauren.” He crouched down beside her. It wasn’t an easy thing to so. “I don’t want to hurt anyone, so don’t make me. It’s your choice when you think about it.”

  She had her hand on the dog’s neck. All she need to was take it away and the dog would be on him in a flash. His throat and the dog’s jaws were in perfect alignment. She wouldn’t though, he knew he’d got her where he wanted. She was lost, confused and under his control. Perfect.

  “Room for me in there?” he asked.

  15

  “He’s gone outside.”

  “Huh?” Jonesy drifted out of a shallow sleep, feeling Lisa’s elbow in his ribs.

  “Olin. He’s gone outside.”

  Jonesy turned over. “Probably gone to take a leak.”

  She nudged him again. “No, I heard him do that already.”

  “Why are you whispering then?” He was fully awake now.

  “Go and see what he’s doing.”

  “What? If he’s stupid enough to go out there in this then good luck to him.”

  “He might’ve gone to the shed, to Lauren.”

  Now he was awake, he felt the familiar pressure on his bladder; it wouldn’t be ignored much longer. “Lad’s out there, he’ll look after her. Honestly though, I’m not sure she needs it.”

  “Jonesy, please. He doesn’t know his way around, he could have fallen. Lauren could be...”

  “We’re not their parents, Lisa. They’re married. They’ve got some talking to do, for sure, but...”

  “You bought all that crap?”

  “What crap?” He propped himself up on elbows.

  “All that crap about her leaving him to die in...in that place. You bought that?”

  “Sure, why not? Explains a lot of what’s going on between them. She wasn’t exactly pleased to see him now, was she?”

  “There are other explanations,” Lisa replied.

  “Like?”

  “Like she’s scared to death of him, like she can’t speak for herself. I’ve seen it before. Women coming to pick their kids up from school, an odd bruise here and there, maybe a black eye, can’t or won’t look you in the eye, lots of excuses. It’s all there.” She paused, licked her lips. “I don’t like him.”

  “But she’s not given us any excuses. She’s not given us anything. You got all that from five minutes with the guy? Sure you’re not looking for something?”

  “I know what I’m talking about, Jonesy.”

  “I don’t doubt that,” he replied. “It’s just a big jump to make, a lot of assumptions, that’s all.” He could see she wasn’t going to let it go. “Look, the first time he lays a finger on her, he’s gone.”

  “And not before?”

  “You want me to throw him out? Now? The guy’s only just recovered enough to walk. We put him out there and he’s dead. I don’t even want to think about that.” He turned to face her. “We don’t know anything about either of them. We do what we can, we try to see the winter out with what we’ve got and then we turn them loose. I don’t see we’ve got a choice.”

  “All the more reason to go and check then.” She pushed down on his stomach. “You need to use the bucket anyway.”

  He grunted and slid off the bed. Whatever argument he put up, Lisa would keep going, keep talking him in circles until he did what she wanted. Besides, he did need to use the bucket. He pulled on some clothes and went downstairs.

  “Careful. Sounded like he nearly filled it.”

  “Thanks,” he shouted up at her.

  The fire burned steadily, throwing a weak glow over Olin’s discarded makeshift bed. It illuminated the tin bucket too, or rather the contents. No way was he using that.

  “Where are my boots?” he shouted.

  “Where you left them.”

  He’d left them by the door, by the bucket, and now they were gone. Borrowing some old clothes was one thing but a pair of good boots was another entirely. He should have told him his own were over in the corner. But he hadn’t really expected the man to be up and walking about just yet.

  He grabbed Olin’s hiking shoes and slid them on. They were lightweight and flimsy. Useless.

  “Won’t be long,” he shouted, picking up a flashlight.

  “Got the Winchester?”

  “No,” he shouted back, slamming the door behind him. This whole thing was making him feel more than just g
rumpy. Being woken up and needing the bathroom was one thing, being asked to check on two adults like they were kids was another entirely.

  “Olin?” he shouted, turning toward the shed. His voice evaporated on the wind but through the haze he saw the flickering beam of a flashlight leaking out from the shed. He tilted his head back and looked at the sky. There were no stars, just a fathomless blackness. It already felt like a long while since they had enjoyed a clear night. He grimaced and trudged toward the shed. In just a few steps, his feet were soaked and frozen. It was a miracle how the guy hadn’t got frostbitten toes too.

  He reached the door and peered inside. The last thing he wanted to see was a married couple making up after a fight, albeit a pretty serious fight. But you could never tell how things like this worked out.

  Olin was shuffling up alongside Lauren on the makeshift cot she’d set up. A flashlight rolled around on the floor, strobing across their bodies. He had his arm around her shoulders but her body was rigid against his. Neither of them saw him and it wasn’t until Lad ran over that they looked up and noticed he was there.

  He raised his hands. “Sorry, just wanted to make sure you were alright out here?” He purposely looked directly at Lauren. “Everything okay?” He lifted his own flashlight and shone it in the space above their heads, not to dazzle them but to see Lauren better.

  For a moment, just a second, she looked as if she were about to tell him something. The way her eyebrows arched and crinkled said that everything wasn’t okay. But then it was gone. Olin pulled her closer, shoulder to shoulder.

  “Yeah, we’re okay out here, Jonesy. Just trying to sort through a few things. Plenty to talk about.” He turned to Lauren. “Right, honey?”

  Lauren kept her eyes on Jonesy, then looked away, staring at Lad. Something wasn’t quite right. It wasn’t clear enough to make it obvious but the atmosphere was uneasy. He didn’t like it. Say something, he thought. Anything will do, just give me a reason to kick his ass out of here.

  “Lauren?” He tried to get her to raise her eyes, to engage with him. Instead she kept her gaze fixed on Lad.

  “Right,” she whispered.

  “What’s that?” Olin leaned closer.

  “Right,” she repeated. “Everything’s okay, Jonesy.” Finally, she looked up, offering a weak smile. It was the least convincing display of happiness he had ever seen.

  He looked back at Olin. “I know you’ve got a lot to talk about but is now the right time?”

  “Sooner the better far as I’m concerned. As you said, man, we’re here for the long haul and the last thing you or Lisa want is a bad atmosphere around the place. We need to straighten things out. Never go to bed on a row, that’s my philosophy.”

  “It’s the middle of the night, Olin. I’m sure it’ll wait till the morning.”

  Olin sighed. “I just don’t want Lauren feeling bad about leaving me like that, you know? I don’t hold a grudge if that’s what you’re worried about? There isn’t going to be any trouble.” He turned to Lauren. “At least not from me.”

  Lad pushed his cold wet nose into Jonesy’s hand, nudging it, emitting a series of grumbling whines. The dog was uneasy, anxious about what was happening here. Jonesy felt the same way but there was nothing he could pin down. At least not without Lauren’s help.

  “Why don’t you come inside, Olin? You’re not well enough to spend the night out here.” It was the only way he could think of separating them. Now Lauren had spoken again, maybe Lisa could come out and try to talk to her alone. Find out what was happening.

  “I’ll be fine,” he said. “Get that fire burning good and hot and we’ll be snug as a bug.” He squeezed Lauren again. Her posture hadn’t improved in the last couple of minutes. She was as stiff as a board.

  Jonesy said nothing.

  “There is something you could do for me though, a small favor. If it’s not too much trouble?”

  He nodded. He didn’t especially feel like doing any favors, not for anyone.

  “You couldn’t take that dog inside the cabin, could you? Don’t get me wrong, he’s a handsome fella but we don’t seem to be seeing eye to eye at the moment.”

  Jonesy pushed his freezing hand into the dog’s coat; the muscles on his back were tense, quivering slightly.

  “He takes his time getting to know a person. You’ve got to earn his friendship.”

  Olin laughed as if he thought it was a joke. It wasn’t. Lad was a good judge of whether someone was worth investing time in from the get-go and he always demonstrated his thoughts on the matter. Jonesy wouldn’t want to leave Lad in a situation where he was uncomfortable anyway.

  “Sure, but he might take it into his head that he needs to come out and check around for himself. This was his place before it was yours.”

  Olin laughed again. “Hey, I’m sure we’ll be best buddies in a few days.”

  Don’t bet on it, thought Jonesy. There was nothing else he could do tonight. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said. He turned to leave and then stopped, looking directly at Lauren again. Her eyes found his. “And you just need to shout if you need anything. Anything at all.”

  He waited a second and then turned away. “Come on, Lad.” He patted his thigh for the dog to follow.

  Lad walked slowly back to Lauren. His head was down as he sniffed the air around the couple. His powerful shoulders jagged through his coat like mountain peaks through clouds. He nudged her hands, licking them and her face with his great slavering tongue. Lauren smiled, almost laughed. The weak gesture she’d made a minute ago and this genuine display of happiness were worlds apart.

  He let them have their moment and then tapped his thigh again. “Come on, boy.”

  Lad gave Lauren one last lick and then followed Jonesy out of the barn. They both stopped on their way back to the cabin to loose a steaming torrent against a tree and then went inside. Lad padded across the floor and sniffed the discarded furs Olin had been lying in. He pawed at them, shifting them out of the way so he could stretch out.

  “Jonesy?” Lisa called down.

  “Yep, be up in a moment.”

  “Everything alright?”

  “Fine. They’re just talking. He’s spending the night out there.”

  “What?” Lisa’s voice had an edge and he heard the bed creak as she sat up.

  “They’re just talking, that’s all.” He took off the wet boots and jacket.

  Lisa grunted back at him.

  “What do you want me to do?” He paused. “She did speak though.”

  “She did? What did she say?”

  He walked toward the stairs, pausing only to scratch Lad’s belly. “She said everything was fine, that she was okay.”

  He reached the top of the stairs, dropping the rest of his clothes in a pile by the bed and climbing under the covers.

  “And you believed her?”

  “I don’t know,” he replied. “But Lad didn’t.”

  16

  “We’d like to help. Earn our keep, so to speak. Don’t feel right just sitting here, eating all your supplies.”

  A week had passed since Olin made himself at home in the shed. He and Lauren spent long hours in there, huddled in the corner, warming their hands on the fire. They seldom left each other’s side and when they did it was to use the bathroom. Lauren was inscrutable. The only time she showed anything approaching emotion was with Lad and then she was like a different person. She had never been exactly talkative but now she was taciturn in the extreme.

  “You ever hunt before, Olin?” Jonesy offered more coffee around the table.

  Lisa had made oatmeal for everyone. It was sweetened with cinnamon and some of the apples they dehydrated in the summer. It was one of Jonesy’s favorites.

  “Can’t say I have. Oh, apart from a possum that got in my mom’s house when I was a kid. We chased that thing around for days before it ran into a door and stunned itself long enough for my dad to hit it with a pan. Made a mess, I can tell you that much.”
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br />   Throughout the week, the feeling that Olin was somehow off-key had been building. At first Jonesy thought it might be Lisa’s influence. She plainly didn’t like him and although she was careful not to be blatant about it, he could see it, he could hear it in her voice.

  Lisa continually aired her thoughts, usually in the evening when they were in bed. She had tried talking to Lauren more than once but the response was always the same: Yes, I’m okay. Everything’s cool.

  Jonesy knew enough to recognize when someone was under the control of another. He’d listened to Lisa’s accounts and seen some movies, but knowing and doing something about it were two different things. He wasn’t a cop, he didn’t know how to deal with it. His instinct was just to let it be, leave them to sort out whatever constituted a marriage in their books and when spring came, move on. Unless, of course, something more obvious than...than whatever it was that was going on between them occurred. Then he would deal with that. Bottom line, he hadn’t come all the way up to Alaska, found a place in the middle of nowhere, just to wind up dealing with someone else’s problems. He had enough of his own just trying to stay alive.

  “Maybe you ought to take him, Jonesy? Show him how we put food in the cache.”

  That wasn’t what Jonesy had in mind but he knew why Lisa said it. She wanted to get Lauren on her own yet again, to try and talk to her.

  “I don’t think so,” Jonesy said. “Olin’s not fully recovered.” He looked out of the window, trying not to look at his wife.

  “Give it a few days, then,” she said.

  “Do I get a say in this?” Olin asked.

  The bloom on his face had not grown any wider, but it looked deeper, burrowing down into his cheekbone, into his skull. His nose hadn’t changed at all, so maybe they’d caught it in time. There was a bad smell though, a smell like rotting garbage.

  He had taken to wearing a pair of Jonesy’s gloves, even when he was inside the cabin, or trying to eat. He couldn’t stop anyone looking at his face but he wasn’t letting anyone see what was beneath the glove.

  “Still using the antiseptic?” Jonesy changed the subject.