One Thousand and One Nights

by Richard Burton

  Long time have I bewailed the sev’rance of our loves, With tears

  that from my lids streamed down like burning rain,

  And vowed that, if the days should reunite us two, My lips should

  never speak of severance again.

  Joy hath o’erwhelmed me so, that for the very stress Of that

  which gladdens me, to weeping I am fain.

  Tears are become to you a habit, O my eyes! So that ye weep as

  well for gladness as for pain.

  Presently, Bedreddin’s mother came in and fell on him, repeating the following verses:

  When we met, to each other we both did complain Of the manifold

  things that we each had to say;

  For the lover’s complaint of the anguish he feels The tongue of a

  messenger cannot convey.

  Then she wept and related to him what had befallen her since his departure, and he told her what he had suffered and they thanked God the Most High for their reunion with one another. Two days after his arrival, the Vizier went in to the Sultan and kissing the earth before him, saluted him after the fashion of salutation to kings. The Sultan rejoiced at his return and received him with distinguished favour. Then he desired to hear what had befallen him in his travels; so the Vizier told him all that had passed, and the Sultan said, “Praised be God for that thou hast attained thy desire and returned in safety to thy kinsfolk and family! I must see thy brother’s son, so do thou bring him to the Divan tomorrow.” Shemseddin replied, “God willing, thy slave shall be present tomorrow.” Then he saluted him and returning to his own house, informed his nephew of the King’s wish to see him, to which Bedreddin replied, “The slave is obedient to his lord’s commands.” So next day he accompanied his uncle to the Divan and after saluting the Sultan in the most punctilious and elegant manner, repeated the following verses:

  All ranks and classes kiss the earth, in homage to thy state, For

  lo I through thee their every wish is crowned with happy

  fate.

  For thou the fount of honour art for those that hope in thee, And

  from thy hand the bounties flow that make there rich and

  great.

  The Sultan smiled and signed to him to sit down. So he sat down beside the Vizier, and the King enquired his name. Quoth Bedreddin, “The meanest of thy slaves is known as Bedreddin Hassan of Bassora, who prays for thee day and night.” The Sultan was pleased at his words and being minded to try him and prove his knowledge and good-breeding, said to him, “Dost thou remember any verses in praise of a mole on the cheek?” “Yes,” replied Bedreddin, and repeated the following:

  When I think of my loved one, the sighs from my breast Burst up

  and the tears to my eyes quickly start.

  She’s a mole, that resembles, in beauty and hue, The black of the

  eye and the core of the heart.

  The Sultan liked these verses and said, “Let us have some more. Heaven bless thy sire! May thy tongue never tire!” So he repeated the following:

  The mole’s black spot upon her cheek they liken to a grain Of

  musk; yet wonder not at that, for wonder were in vain.

  But rather wonder at her face, wherein all beauty is: There is no

  particle of grace that it doth not contain.

  The Sultan shook with delight and said to him, “More! God bless thy life!” So he repeated the following:

  O thou, the moles upon whose cheek recall Globules of musk upon

  cornelian strewed,

  Grant me thy favours, be not hard of heart, O thou, my heart’s

  desire, my spirit’s food!

  Then said the King, “Thou hast done well, O Hassan, and hast acquitted thyself most excellently. But tell me how many meanings hath the word khal in the Arabic language.” “Fifty,” replied Hassan, “and some say eight and-fifty.” Quoth the King, “Thou art right. Canst thou tell me the points of excellence in beauty?” “Yes,” answered Bedreddin, “Brightness of face, purity of skin, shapeliness in the nose, softness in the eyes, sweetness in the mouth, elegance in speech, slenderness of shape and quickness of wit; and the perfection of beauty is in the hair. And indeed Es Shihab el Hijazi has brought them all together in the following doggrel:

  Say to the face, ‘Be bright,’ and to the skin, say, ‘See, I show

  thee what befits thee best: ’tis purity.’

  For elegance of shape the nose we chiefly prize, And languor soft

  it is, that best becomes the eyes.

  Then say unto the mouth, ‘Sweetness, but mark thou me; Let

  fragrancy of breath fail never unto thee.’

  Chaste be the speech, the shape be slender and well knit, And

  quickness mark the thought, the manners and the wit.

  Then say that in the hair is ever beauty’s prime. Give ear to me

  and eke forgive my doggrel rhyme.”

  The Sultan rejoiced in his converse and said to him “What is the meaning of the popular saying, ‘Shureih is more cunning than the fox’?” “Know, O King,” answered Bedreddin, “may God aid thee! that Shureih was wont during the days of the plague, to go out to Nejef, and whenever he stood up to pray, there came a fox, which would plant itself over against him and distract him from his devotions by mimicking his movements. This went on for some time, till the man became weary of it; so one day he took off his shirt and put it on a cane and shook out the sleeves. Then he set his turban on top of the cane and tied a girdle round the middle of the effigy and planted it in the place where he used to say his prayers. Presently up came the fox, according to his wont, and stood over against the figure; whereupon Shureih came behind him and took him: hence the saying.” When the Sultan heard Bedreddin’s explanation, he said to his uncle Shemseddin, “Verily, this thy nephew is perfect in all kinds of culture. I do not believe that his like is to be found in Egypt.” At this, Bedreddin arose and kissed the earth and sat down again in the posture of a servant before his master. When the Sultan had thus assured himself of his proficiency in the liberal arts, he rejoiced greatly and bestowing on him a splendid dress of honour, invested him with an office, whereby he might better his condition. Then Bedreddin arose and kissing the earth before the King, wished him enduring glory and craved leave to retire. The Sultan gave him leave; so he returned home with his uncle and they set food before them and they ate, after which Bedreddin repaired to his wife’s apartment and told her what had passed between the Sultan and himself. Quoth she, “He cannot fail to make thee his boon-companion and load thee with favours and presents; and by the grace of God, the splendours of thy perfections shall shine like the greater light, wherever thou goest, by land or sea.” Then said he, “I purpose to make an ode in the King’s praise, that he may redouble in affection for me.” “That is well thought,” replied she. “Consider it well and word thy thought elegantly, and I doubt not but it will procure thee his favour.” So Bedreddin shut himself up and composed the following verses, which he copied in an ornamental hand:

  My King hath reached the height of lordlihead; The shining path

  of virtue he cloth tread.

  His justice blocks the ways against his foes And peace and plenty

  showers on every stead.

  Bold as a lion, pious, quick of wit, Angel or King, he’s

  whichsoe’er is said.

  He sends the suppliant content away. Words fail, indeed, to paint

  his goodlihead.

  In time of gifts, he’s like the brilliant moon; Like night, in

  battle, lowering and dread.

  Our necks are girt with his munificence; He rules by favours on

  the noble shed.

  May God prolong his life for our behoof And ward the blows of

  Fortune from his head.

  When he had finished transcribing the poem, he despatched it by one of his uncle’s slaves to the King, who perused it, and it gladdened his heart; so he read it out to those present before him and the
y praised it exceedingly. Then he sent for Bedreddin to his sitting-chamber and said to him, “Henceforth thou art my boon-companion and I appoint thee a stipend of a thousand dirhems a month, over and above what I have already given thee.” So he arose and kissing the earth three times before the Sultan, wished him abiding glory and length of life. Then Bedreddin increased in honour and estate, so that his report spread into all countries, and he abode in the enjoyment of all the delights and comforts of life, he and his uncle and family, till Death overtook him.’

  When the Khalif Haroun er Reshid heard this story from the mouth of his Vizier Jaafer, he wondered and said, ‘It behoves that these stories be written in letters of gold.’ Then he set the slave at liberty and assigned the young man who had killed his wife such a monthly allowance as sufficed to make his life easy. Moreover he gave him one of his female slaves to wife, and he became one of his boon-companions.

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  STORY OF THE HUNCHBACK

  There lived once in the city of Bassora a tailor, who was openhanded and loved pleasure and merrymaking: and he was wont, he and his wife, to go out by times, a-pleasuring, to the public places of recreation. One day they went out as usual and were returning home in the evening, when they fell in with a hunchback, the sight of whom would make the disappointed laugh and dispel chagrin from the sorrowful. So they went up to look at him and invited him to go home and make merry with them that night. He consented and accompanied them to their house; whereupon, the night being now come, the tailor went out to the market and buying fried fish and bread and lemon and conserve of roses by way of dessert, set them before the hunchback, and they ate. Presently, the tailor’s wife took a great piece of fish and cramming it into the hunchback’s mouth, clapped her hand over it, saying, ‘By Allah, thou must swallow it at one gulp; and I will give thee no time to chew it.’ So he bolted it; but there was a great bone in it, which stuck in his gullet, and his hour being come, it choked him, and he died at once. When the tailor saw this, he exclaimed, ‘There is no power and no virtue but in God! Alas, poor wretch, that he should have come by his death at our hands!’ ‘Why dost thou waste time in idle lamentation?’ rejoined his wife. ‘Hast thou not heard it said……?’ And she repeated the following verses:

  What ails me that I waste the time in idle grief, Until I find no

  friend mishap for me to bear?

  Who but a fool would sit upon an unquenched fire? To wait upon

  mischance as great a folly were.

  ‘What is to be done?’ asked he; and she replied, ‘Rise and take the hunchback in thine arms and cover him with a silk handkerchief: then go out with him, and I will go before thee: and if thou meet any one, say, “This is my son: his mother and I are taking him to the doctor, that he may look at him.” So he rose and taking the hunchback in his arms, carried him along the streets, preceded by his wife, who kept saying, ‘O my son, God keep thee! Where has this smallpox attacked thee and in what part dost thou feel pain?’ So that all who saw them said, ‘It is a child ill of smallpox.’ They went along, enquiring for a doctor, till the people directed them to the house of one, who was a Jew. They knocked at the gate, and a black servant-maid came down and opened the door and seeing a man carrying a child and a woman with him, said to them, ‘What is your business?’ ‘We have a sick child here,’ answered the tailor’s wife, ‘whom we want the doctor to look at: so take this quarter-dinar and give it to thy master, and let him come down and see my son.’ The girl went up to tell her master, leaving the tailor and his wife in the vestibule, whereupon the latter said to her husband, ‘Let us leave the hunchback here and be off.’ So the tailor carried the dead man to the top of the stairs and propping him up against the wall, went away, he and his wife. Meanwhile the serving-maid went in to the Jew and said to him, ‘There are a man and a woman at the gate, with a sick child; and they have given me a quarter-dinar for thee, that thou mayst go down and see the child and prescribe for him.’ When the Jew saw the quarter-dinar, he was glad and rose hastily and went down in the dark. Hardly had he made a step, when he stumbled on the dead body and threw it down, and it rolled to the bottom of the stairs. So he cried out to the girl to make haste with the light, and she brought it, whereupon he went down and examining the hunchback, found that he was dead. ‘O Esdras and Moses and the ten Commandments!’ exclaimed he; ‘O Aaron and Joshua, son of Nun! I have stumbled against the sick person and he has fallen downstairs and is dead! How shall I get the body out of my house?’ Then he took it up and carrying it into the house, told his wife what had happened. Quoth she, ‘Why dost thou sit still? If he be found here when the day rises, we shall both of us lose our lives. Let us carry him up to the roof and throw him over into the house of our neighbour the Muslim; for if he abide there a night, the dogs will come down on him from the terraces and eat him all up.’ Now the neighbour in question was controller of the Sultan’s kitchen and was wont to bring home great store of fat and broken meats; but the cats and mice used to eat it, or, if the dogs scented a fat sheep’s tail, they would come down from the roofs and tear at it; and in this way he lost much of what he brought home. So the Jew and his wife carried the hunchback up to the roof, and letting him down, through the windshaft, into the controller’s house, stood him up against the wall and went away. Hardly had they done so, when the controller, who had been spending the evening with some of his friends, hearing a recitation of the Koran, came home and going up with a lighted candle, found a man standing in the corner, under the ventilator. When he saw this, he said, ‘By Allah, this is a fine thing! He who steals my goods is none other than a man.’ Then he turned to the hunchback and said to him, ‘So it is thou that stealest the meat and fat. I thought it was the cats and dogs, and I kill the cats and dogs of the quarter and sin against them. And all the while it is thou comest down through the windshaft! But I will take my wreak of thee with my own hand.’ So he took-a great cudgel and smote him on the breast, and he fell down. Then he examined him and finding that he was dead, cried out in horror, thinking that he had killed him, and said, ‘There is no power and no virtue but in God the Supreme, the Omnipotent!’ And he feared for himself and said, ‘May God curse the fat and the sheep’s tails, that have caused this man’s death to be at my hand!’ Then he looked at the dead man and seeing him to be humpbacked, said, ‘Did it not suffice thee to be a hunchback, but thou must turn thief and steal meat and fat? O Protector, extend to me Thy gracious protection!’ Then he took him up on his shoulders and going forth with him, carried him to the beginning of the market, where he set him on his feet against the wall of a shop, at the corner of a dark lane, and went away. After awhile, there came up a Christian, the Sultan’s broker, who had sallied forth, in a state of intoxication, intending for the bath, for in his drunkenness he thought that matins were near. He came staggering along, till he drew near the hunchback and squatted down over against him to make water, when, happening to look round, he saw a man standing against the wall. Now some one had snatched off the broker’s turban early in the night, and seeing the hunchback standing there he concluded that he meant to play him the same trick. So he clenched his fist and smote him on the neck. Down fell the hunchback, whilst the broker called to the watchman of the market and fell on the dead man, pummelling and throttling him in the excess of his drunken rage. Presently, the watchman came up and finding a Christian kneeling on a Muslim and beating him, said to the former, ‘What is the matter?’ ‘This fellow tried to snatch off my turban,’ answered the broker; and the watchman said, ‘Get up from him.’ So he rose, and the watchman went up to the hunchback and finding him dead, exclaimed, ‘By Allah, it is a fine thing that a Christian should kill a Muslim!’ Then he seized the broker and tying his hands behind him, carried him to the house of the prefect of police, where they passed the night; and all the while the broker kept saying, ‘O Messiah! O Virgin! how came I to kill this man? Indeed, he must have been in a great hurry to die of one blow with t
he fist!’ And his drunkenness left him and reflection came in its stead. As soon as it was day, the prefect came out and commanded to hang the supposed murderer and bade the executioner make proclamation of the sentence. So they set up a gallows, under which they made the broker stand, and the hangman put the rope round his neck and was about to hoist him up, when behold, the controller of the Sultan’s kitchen, passing by, saw the broker about to be hanged, and pressing through the crowd, cried out to the executioner, saying, ‘Stop! Stop! I am he who killed the hunchback.’ Quoth the prefect, ‘What made thee kill him?’ And he replied, ‘I came home last night and found this man who had come down the windshaft to steal my goods; so I struck him with a cudgel on the breast and he died. Then I took him up and carried him to the market and set him up against the wall in such a place. Is it not enough for me to have killed a Muslim, without burdening my conscience with the death of a Christian also? Hang therefore none but me.’ When the prefect heard this, he released the broker and said to the executioner, ‘Hang up this man on his own confession.’ So he loosed the rope from the broker’s neck and threw it round that of the controller, and placing him under the gallows, was about to hang him, when behold, the Jewish physician pushed through the press and cried out, ‘Stop! It was I and none else who killed him! I was sitting at home last night, when a man and a woman knocked at the door, carrying this hunchback, who was sick, and gave my servant a quarter-dinar, bidding her give it to me and tell me to come down to see him. Whilst she was gone, they brought the hunchback into the house and setting him on the stairs, went away. Presently, I came down and not seeing him, stumbled on him in the dark, and he fell to the foot of the stair and died forthright. Then we took him up, I and my wife, and carried him on to the roof, whence we let him down, through the windshaft, into the house of this controller, which adjoins my own. When he came home and found the hunchback, he took him for a robber and beat him, so that he fell to the ground, and he concluded that he had killed him. So is it not enough for me to have killed one Muslim unwittingly, without burdening myself with the death of another wittingly?’ When the prefect heard the Jew’s story, he said to the hangman, ‘Let the controller go, and hang the Jew.’ So the hangman took the Jew and put the rope round his neck, when behold, the tailor pressed through the folk and cried out to him, ‘Hold thy hand! None killed him save I, and it fell out thus. I had been out a-pleasuring yesterday and coming back in the evening, met this hunchback, who was drunk and singing lustily to a tambourine. So I carried him to my house and bought fish, and we sat down to eat. Presently, my wife took a piece of fish and crammed it down the hunchback’s throat; but it went the wrong way and stuck in his gullet and choked him, so that he died at once. So we lifted him up, I and my wife, and carried him to the Jew’s house, where the girl came down and opened the door to us, and I said to her, “Give thy master this quarter-dinar and tell him that there are a man and a woman at the door, who have brought a sick person for him to see.” So she went in to tell her master, and whilst she was gone, I carried the hunchback to the top of the stair, where I propped him up, and went away with my wife. When the Jew came out, he stumbled over him and thought that he had killed him.’ Then he said to the Jew, ‘Is not this the truth?’ ‘It is,’ replied the Jew. And the tailor turned to the prefect and said, ‘Let the Jew go, and hang me.’ When the prefect heard the tailor’s story, he wondered at the adventure of the hunchback and exclaimed, ‘Verily, this is a matter that should be recorded in books!’ Then he said to the hangman, ‘Let the Jew go, and hang the tailor on his own confession.’ So the hangman took the tailor and put the rope round his neck, saying, ‘I am tired of taking this man and loosing that, and no one hanged after all.’