One Thousand and One Nights

by Richard Burton

  The most notable part of her dress was a loose robe worn over her other garments; it was diapered in red gold with figures of wild beasts, and birds whose eyes and beaks were of gems, and claws of red rubies and green beryl; and her neck was graced with a necklace of Yamani work, worth thousands of gold pieces, whose bezels were great round jewels of sorts, the like of which was never owned by Kaysar or by Tobba King. 410 And the bride was as the full moon when at fullest on fourteenth night; and as she paced into the hall she was like one of the Houris of Heaven — praise be to Him who created her in such splendour of beauty! The ladies encompassed her as the white contains the black of the eye, they clustering like stars whilst she shone amongst them like the moon when it eats up the clouds. Now Badr al-Din Hasan of Bassorah was sitting in full gaze of the folk, when the bride came forward with her graceful swaying and swimming gait, and her hunchbacked groom stood up to meet 411 and receive her: she, however, turned away from the wight and walked forward till she stood before her cousin Hasan, the son of her uncle. Whereat the people laughed. But when the wedding-guests saw her thus attracted towards Badr al-Din they made a mighty clamour and the singing-women shouted their loudest; whereupon he put his hand into his pocket and, pulling out a handful of gold, cast it into their tambourines and the girls rejoiced and said, “Could we win our wish this bride were thine!” At this he smiled and the folk came round him, flambeaux in hand like the eyeball round the pupil, while the Gobbo bridegroom was left sitting alone much like a tail-less baboon; for every time they lighted a candle for him it went out willy- nilly, so he was left in darkness and silence and looking at naught but himself. 412 When Badr al-Din Hasan saw the bridegroom sitting lonesome in the dark, and all the wedding- guests with their flambeaux and wax candles crowding around himself, he was bewildered and marvelled much; but when he looked at his cousin, the daughter of his uncle, he rejoiced and felt an inward delight: he longed to greet her and gazed intently on her face which was radiant with light and brilliancy. Then the tirewomen took off her veil and displayed her in the first bridal dress which was of scarlet satin; and Hasan had a view of her which dazzled his sight and dazed his wits, as she moved to and fro, swaying with graceful gait; 413 and she turned the heads of all the guests, women as well as men, for she was even as saith the surpassing poet: —

  A sun on wand in knoll of sand she showed * Clad in her

  cramoisy-hued chemisette:

  Of her lips honey-dew she gave me drink, * And with her rosy

  cheeks quencht fire she set.

  Then they changed that dress and displayed her in a robe of azure; and she reappeared like the full moon when it riseth over the horizon, with her coal-black hair and cheeks delicately fair; and teeth shown in sweet smiling and breasts firm rising and crowning sides of the softest and waist of the roundest. And in this second suit she was as a certain master of high conceits saith of the like of her: —

  She came apparrelled in an azure vest, * Ultramarine, as skies

  are deckt and dight;

  I view’d th’ unparrellel’d sight, which show’d my eyes * A moon

  of Summer on a Winter-night.

  Then they changed that suit for another and, veiling her face in the luxuriance of her hair, loosed her lovelocks, so dark, so long that their darkness and length outvied the darkest nights, and she shot through all hearts with the magical shaft of her eye-babes. They displayed her in the third dress and she was as said of her the sayer: —

  Veiling her cheeks with hair a-morn she comes, * And I her

  mischiefs with the cloud compare:

  Saying, “Thou veilest morn with night!” “Ah, no!” * Quoth she,

  “I shroud full moon with darkling air!”

  Then they displayed her in the fourth bridal dress and she came forward shining like the rising sun and swaying to and fro with lovesome grace and supple ease like a gazelle-fawn. And she clave all hearts with the arrows of her eyelashes, even as saith one who described a charmer like her: —

  The sun of beauty she to sight appears * And, lovely-coy, she

  mocks all loveliness;

  And when he fronts her favour and her smile * A-morn, the Sun of

  day in clouds must dress.

  Then she came forth in the fifth dress, a very light of loveliness like a wand of waving willow or a gazelle of the thirsty wold. Those locks which stung like scorpions along her cheeks were bent, and her neck was bowed in blandishment, and her hips quivered as she went. As saith one of the poets describing her in verse: —

  She comes like fullest moon on happy night; * Taper of waist,

  with shape of magic might:

  She hath an eye whose glances quell mankind, * And Ruby on her

  cheeks reflects his light:

  Enveils her hips the blackness of her hair; *Beware of curls that

  bite with viper-bite!

  Her sides are silken-soft, the while the heart * Mere rock behind

  that surface lurks from sight:

  From the fringed curtains of her eyne she shoots * Shafts which

  at farthest range on mark alight:

  When round her neck or waist I throw my arms * Her breasts repel

  me with their hardened height.

  Ah, how her beauty all excels! ah how * That shape transcends the

  graceful waving bough!

  Then they adorned her with the sixth toilette, a dress which was green. And now she shamed her slender straightness the nut-brown spear; her radiant face dimmed the brightest beams of full moon and she outdid the bending branches in gentle movement and flexible grace. Her loveliness exalted the beauties of earth’s four quarters and she broke men’s hearts by the significance of her semblance; for she was even as saith one of the poets in these lines: —

  A damsel ’twas the tirer’s art had decked with snares and

  sleight.414 * And robed in rays as though the sun from

  her had borrowed light:

  She came before us wondrous clad in chemisette of green, * As

  veiled by its leafy screen pomegranate hides from sight:

  And when he said “How callest thou the manner of thy dress?” *

  She answered us in pleasant way with double meaning dight;

  “We call this garment creve-coeur; and rightly is it hight, * For

  many a heart wi’ this we broke 415 and conquered many

  a sprite!”

  Then they displayed her in the seventh dress, coloured between safflower 416 and saffron, even as one of the poets saith: —

  In vest of saffron pale and safflower red * Musk’d, sandal’d

  ambergris’d, she came to front:

  “Rise!” cried her youth, “go forth and show thyself!” * “Sit!”

  said her hips, “we cannot bear the brunt!”

  And when I craved a bout, her Beauty said * “Do, do!” and said

  her pretty shame, “Don’t, don’t!”

  Thus they displayed the bride in all her seven toilettes before Hasan al-Basri, wholly neglecting the Gobbo who sat moping alone; and, when she opened her eyes 417 she said, “O Allah make this man my goodman and deliver me from the evil of this hunchbacked groom.” As soon as they had made an end of this part of the ceremony they dismissed the wedding guests who went forth, women, children and all, and none remained save Hasan and the Hunchback, whilst the tirewomen led the bride into an inner room to change her garb and gear and get her ready for the bridegroom. Thereupon Quasimodo came up to Badr al-Din Hasan and said, “O my lord, thou hast cheered us this night with thy good company and overwhelmed us with thy kindness and courtesy; but now why not get thee up and go?” “Bismallah,” he answered, “In Allah’s name so be it!” and rising, he went forth by the door, where the Ifrit met him and said, “Stay in thy stead, O Badr al-Din, and when the Hunchback goes out to the closet of ease go in without losing time and seat thyself in the alcove; and when the bride comes say to her, “’Tis I am thy husband, for the King devised this trick only fearing f
or thee the evil eye, and he whom thou sawest is but a Syce, a groom, one of our stablemen.’ Then walk boldly up to her and unveil her face; for jealousy hath taken us of this matter.” While Hasan was still talking with the Ifrit behold, the groom fared forth from the hall and entering the closet of ease sat down on the stool. Hardly had he done this when the Ifrit came out of the tank, 418 wherein the water was, in semblance of a mouse and squeaked out “Zeek!” Quoth the Hunchback, “What ails thee?”; and the mouse grew and grew till it became a coal-black cat and caterwauled “Meeao! Meeao!”419 Then it grew still more and more till it became a dog and barked out “Owh! Owh!” When the bridegroom saw this he was frightened and exclaimed “Out with thee, O unlucky one!” 420 But the dog grew and swelled till it became an ass-colt that brayed and snorted in his face “Hauk! Hauk!” 421 Whereupon the Hunchback quaked and cried, “Come to my aid, O people of the house!” But behold, the ass-colt grew and became big as a buffalo and walled the way before him and spake with the voice of the sons of Adam, saying, “Woe to thee, O thou Bunch-back, thou stinkard, O thou filthiest of grooms!” Hearing this the groom was seized with a colic and he sat down on the jakes in his clothes with teeth chattering and knocking together. Quoth the Ifrit, “Is the world so strait to thee thou findest none to marry save my lady-love?” But as he was silent the Ifrit continued, “Answer me or I will do thee dwell in the dust!” “By Allah,” replied the Gobbo, “O King of the Buffaloes, this is no fault of mine, for they forced me to wed her; and verily I wot not that she had a lover among the buffaloes; but now I repent, first before Allah and then before thee.” Said the Ifrit to him, “I swear to thee that if thou fare forth from this place, or thou utter a word before sunrise, I assuredly will wring thy neck. When the sun rises wend thy went and never more return to this house.” So saying, the Ifrit took up the Gobbo bridegroom and set him head downwards and feet upwards in the slit of the privy, 422 and said to him, “I will leave thee here but I shall be on the look-out for thee till sunrise; and, if thou stir before then, I will seize thee by the feet and dash out thy brains against the wall: so look out for thy life!” Thus far concerning the Hunchback, but as regards Badr al-Din Hasan of Bassorah he left the Gobbo and the Ifrit jangling and wrangling and, going into the house, sat him down in the very middle of the alcove; and behold, in came the bride attended by an old woman who stood at the door and said, “O Father of Uprightness, 423 arise and take what God giveth thee.” Then the old woman went away and the bride, Sitt al-Husn or the Lady of Beauty hight, entered the inner part of the alcove broken-hearted and saying in herself, “By Allah I will never yield my person to him; no, not even were he to take my life!” But as she came to the further end she saw Badr al-Din Hasan and she said, “Dearling! Art thou still sitting here? By Allah I was wishing that thou wert my bridegroom or, at least, that thou and the hunchbacked horse-groom were partners in me.” He replied, “O beautiful lady, how should the Syce have access to thee, and how should he share in thee with me?” “Then,” quoth she, “who is my husband, thou or he?” “Sitt al- Husn,” rejoined Hasan, “we have not done this for mere fun, 424 but only as a device to ward off the evil eye from thee; for when the tirewomen and singers and wedding guests saw they beauty being displayed to me, they feared fascination and thy father hired the horse-groom for ten dinars and a porringer of meat to take the evil eye off us; and now he hath received his hire and gone his gait.” When the Lady of Beauty heard these words she smiled and rejoiced and laughed a pleasant laugh. Then she whispered him, “By the Lord thou hast quenched a fire which tortured me and now, by Allah, O my little dark-haired darling, take me to thee and press me to thy bosom!” Then she began singing: —

  “By Allah, set thy foot upon my soul; * Since long, long years

  for this alone I long:

  And whisper tale of love in ear of me; * To me ’tis sweeter than

  the sweetest song!

  No other youth upon my heart shall lie; * So do it often, dear,

  and do it long.”

  Then she stripped off her outer gear and she threw open her chemise from the neck downwards and showed her parts genital and all the rondure of her hips. When Badr al-Din saw the glorious sight his desires were roused, and he arose and doffed her clothes, and wrapping up in his bag-trousers 425 the purse of gold which he had taken from the Jew and which contained the thousand dinars, he laid it under the edge of the bedding. Then he took off his turband and set it upon the settle 426 atop of his other clothes, remaining in his skull-cap and fine shirt of blue silk laced with gold. Whereupon the Lady of Beauty drew him to her and he did likewise. Then he took her to his embrace and set her legs round his waist and point-blanked that cannon 427 placed where it battereth down the bulwark of maidenhead and layeth it waste. And he found her a pearl unpierced and unthridden and a filly by all men save himself unridden; and he abated her virginity and had joyance of her youth in his virility and presently he withdrew sword from sheath; and then returned to the fray right eath; and when the battle and the siege had finished, some fifteen assaults he had furnished and she conceived by him that very night. Then he laid his hand under her head and she did the same and they embraced and fell asleep in each other’s arms, as a certain poet said of such lovers in these couplets: —

  Visit thy lover, spurn what envy told; * No envious churl shall

  smile on love ensoul’d.

  Merciful Allah made no fairer sight * Than coupled lovers single

  couch doth hold;

  Breast pressing breast and robed in joys their own, * With

  pillowed forearms cast in finest mould:

  And when heart speaks to heart with tongue of love, * Folk who

  would part them hammer steel ice-cold:

  If a fair friend428 thou find who cleaves to thee, * Live

  for that friend, that friend in heart enfold.

  O ye who blame for love us lover kind * Say, can ye minister to

  diseasèd mind?

  This much concerning Badr al-Hasan and Sitt al-Husn his cousin; but as regards the Ifrit, as soon as he saw the twain asleep, he said to the Ifritah, “Arise, slip thee under the youth and let us carry him back to his place ere dawn overtake us; for the day is nearhand.” Thereupon she came forward and, getting under him as he lay asleep, took him up clad only in his fine blue shirt, leaving the rest of his garments; and ceased not flying (and the Ifrit vying with her in flight) till the dawn advised them that it had come upon them mid-way, and the Muezzin began his call from the Minaret, “Haste ye to salvation! Haste ye to salvation!” 429 Then Allah suffered his angelic host to shoot down the Ifrit with a shooting star, 430 so he was consumed, but the Ifritah escaped and she descended with Badr al- Din at the place where the Ifrit was burnt, and did not carry him back to Bassorah, fearing lest he come to harm. Now by the order of Him who predestineth all things, they alighted at Damascus of Syria, and the Ifritah set down her burden at one of the city- gates and flew away. When day arose and the doors were opened, the folks who came forth saw a handsome youth, with no other raiment but his blue shirt of gold-embroidered silk and skull- cap,431 lying upon the ground drowned in sleep after the hard labour of the night which had not suffered him to take his rest. So the folk looking at him said, “O her luck with whom this one spent the night! but would he had waited to don his garments.” Quoth another, “A sorry lot are the sons of great families! Haply he but now came forth of the tavern on some occasion of his own and his wine flew to his head,432 whereby he hath missed the place he was making for and strayed till he came to the gate of the city; and finding it shut lay him down and to by-by!” As the people were bandying guesses about him suddenly the morning breeze blew upon Badr al-Din and raising his shirt to his middle showed a stomach and navel with something below it, 433 and legs and thighs clear as crystal and smooth as cream. Cried the people, “By Allah he is a pretty fellow!”; and at the cry Badr al-din awoke and found himself lying at a city-gate with a crowd gathered around him. At this he greatly
marvelled and asked, “Where am I, O good folk; and what causeth you thus to gather round me, and what have I had to do with you?”; and they answered, “We found thee lying here asleep during the call to dawn-prayer and this is all we know of the matter, but where diddest thou lie last night?” 434 “By Allah, O good people,” replied he, “I lay last night in Cairo.” Said somebody, “Thou hast surely been eating Hashish,” 435 and another, “He is a fool;” and a third, “He is a citrouille;” and a fourth asked him, “Art thou out of thy mind? thou sleepest in Cairo and thou wakest in the morning at the gate of Damascus- city!” 436 Cried he, “By Allah, my good people, one and all, I lie not to you: indeed I lay yesternight in the land of Egypt and yesternoon I was at Bassorah.” Quoth one, “Well! well!”; and quoth another, “Ho! ho!”; and a third, “So! so!”; and a fourth cried, “This youth is mad, is possessed of the Jinni!” So they clapped hands at him and said to one another, “Alas, the pity of it for his youth: by Allah a madman! and madness is no respecter of persons.” Then they said to him, “Collect thy wits and return to thy reason! How couldest thou be in Bassorah yesterday and Cairo yesternight and withal awake in Damascus this morning?” But he persisted, “Indeed I was a bridegroom in Cairo last night.” “Belike thou hast been dreaming,” rejoined they, “and sawest all this in thy sleep.” So Hasan took thought for a while and said to them, “By Allah, this is no dream; nor vision- like doth it seem! I certainly was in Cairo where they displayed the bride before me, in presence of a third person, the Hunchback groom who was sitting hard by. By Allah, O my brother, this be no dream, and if it were a dream, where is the bag of gold I bore with me and where are my turband and my robe, and my trousers?” Then he rose and entered the city, threading its highways and by- ways and bazar-streets; and the people pressed upon him and jeered at him, crying out “Madman! madman!” till he, beside himself with rage, took refuge in a cook’s shop. Now that Cook had been a trifle too clever, that is, a rogue and thief; but Allah had made him repent and turn from his evil ways and open a cook-shop; and all the people of Damascus stood in fear of his boldness and his mischief. So when the crowd saw the youth enter his shop, they dispersed being afraid of him, and went their ways. The Cook looked at Badr al-Din and, noting his beauty and loveliness, fell in love with him forthright and said, “Whence comest thou, O youth? Tell me at once thy tale, for thou art become dearer to me than my soul.” So Hasan recounted to him all that had befallen him from beginning to end (but in repetition there is no fruition) and the Cook said, “O my lord Badr al-Din, doubtless thou knowest that this case is wondrous and this story marvellous; therefore, O my son, hide what hath betided thee, till Allah dispel what ills be thine; and tarry with me here the meanwhile, for I have no child and I will adopt thee.” Badr al- Din replied, “Be it as thou wilt, O my uncle!” Whereupon the Cook went to the bazar and bought him a fine suit of clothes and made him don it; then fared with him to the Kazi, and formally declared that he was his son. So Badr al-Din Hasan became known in Damascus-city as the Cook’s son and he sat with him in the shop to take the silver, and on this wise he sojourned there for a time. Thus far concerning him; but as regards his cousin, the Lady of Beauty, when morning dawned she awoke and missed Badr al- Din Hasan from her side; but she thought that he had gone to the privy and she sat expecting him for an hour or so; when behold, entered her father Shams al-Din Mohammed, Wazir of Egypt. Now he was disconsolate by reason of what had befallen him through the Sultan, who had entreated him harshly and had married his daughter by force to the lowest of his menials and he too a lump of a groom bunch-backed withal, and he said to himself, “I will slay this daughter of mine if of her own free will she have yielded her person to this acursed carle.” So he came to the door of the bride’s private chamber and said, “Ho! Sitt al- Husn.” She answered him, “Here am I! here am I!” 437 O my lord,” and came out unsteady of gait after the pains and pleasures of the night; and she kissed his hand, her face showing redoubled brightness and beauty for having lain in the arms of that gazelle, her cousin. When her father, the Wazir, saw her in such case, he asked her, “O thou accursed, art thou rejoicing because of this horse-groom?”, and Sitt al-Husn smiled sweetly and answered, “By Allah, don’t ridicule me: enough of what passed yesterday when folk laughed at me, and evened me with that groom- fellow who is not worthy to bring my husband’s shoes or slippers; nay who is not worth the paring of my husband’s nails! By the Lord, never in my life have I nighted a night so sweet as yesternight!, so don’t mock by reminding me of the Gobbo.” When her parent heard her words he was filled with fury, and his eyes glared and stared, so that little of them showed save the whites and he cried, “Fie upon thee! What words are these? ’Twas the hunchbacked horse-groom who passed the night with thee!” “Allah upon thee,” replied the Lady of Beauty, “do not worry me about the Gobbo, Allah damn his father; 438 and leave jesting with me; for this groom was only hired for ten dinars and a porringer of meat and he took his wage and went his way. As for me I entered the bridal-chamber, where I found my true bridegroom sitting, after the singer-women had displayed me to him; the same who had crossed their hands with red gold, till every pauper that was present waxed wealthy; and I passed the night on the breast of my bonny man, a most lively darling, with his black eyes and joined eyebrows.” 439 When her parent heard these words the light before his face became night, and he cried out at her saying, “O thou whore! What is this thou tellest me? Where be thy wits?” “O my father,” she rejoined, “thou breakest my heart; enough for thee that thou hast been so hard upon me! Indeed my husband who took my virginity is but just now gone to the draught-house and I feel that I have conceived by him.” 440 The Wazir rose in much marvel and entered the privy where he found the hunchbacked groom with his head in the hole, and his heels in the air. At this sight he was confounded and said, “This is none other than he, the rascal Hunchback!” So he called to him, “Ho Hunchback!” The Gobbo grunted out, “Taghum! Taghum!” 441 thinking it was the Ifrit spoke to him; so the Wazir shouted at him and said, “Speak out, or I’ll strike off thy pate with this sword.” Then quoth the Hunchback, “By Allah, O Shaykh of the Ifrits, ever since thou settest me in this place, I have not lifted my head; so Allah upon thee, take pity and entreat me kindly!” When the Wazir heard this he asked, “What is this thou sayest? I’m bride’s father and no Ifrit.” “Enough for thee that thou hast well nigh done me die, “ answered Quasimodo; “now go thy ways before he come upon thee who hath served me thus. Could ye not marry me to any save the lady-love of buffaloes and the beloved of Ifrits? Allah curse her and curse him who married me to her and was the cause of this my case,” — And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day, and ceased to say her permitted say.