One Thousand and One Nights

by Richard Burton

  When it was the Four Hundred and Fifty-seventh Night,

  She continued, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that the astronomer said, “Now tell me what four contraries are based upon other four contraries?” Replied she, “The four qualities of Caloric and Frigoric, Humidity and Siccity; for of heat Allah created fire, whose nature is hot-dry; of dryness, earth, which is cold-dry; of cold, water which is cold-wet; of moisture, air, which is hot-wet. Moreover, He created twelve Signs of the Zodiac, Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius and Pisces; and appointed them of the four humours; three fiery, Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius; three earthly, Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn; three airy, Gemini, Libra and Aquarius; and three watery, Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces.” Hereupon the astronomer rose, and saying, “Bear witness against me that she is more learned than I,” away he went beaten. Then quoth the Caliph, “Where is the philosopher429 ?”; at which one rose hastily and came forward and said to Tawaddud, “What is Time and what be its limits, and its days, and what things bringeth it?” Replied she, “Time is a term applied to the hours of the night and day, which are but the measures of the courses of the sun and moon in their several heavens, even as Allah Almighty telleth us when he saith, ‘A sign to them also is the Night, from which we strip off the day, and lo! they are plunged in darkness, and the Sun runneth to her place of rest; this is the ordinance of the Sublime, the All-knowing.’”430 Q “How cometh unbelief to the son of Adam?” “It is reported of the Apostle (whom Allah bless and preserve!) that he said, ‘Unbelief in a man runneth as the blood runneth in his veins, when he revileth the world and Time and night and the Hour.’ And again, ‘Let none of you revile Time, for Time is God; neither revile the world, for she saith, ‘May Allah not aid him who revileth me!;’ neither revile the hour, for, ‘The Hour is surely coming, there is no doubt thereof’;431 neither revile the earth, for it is a portent, according to the saying of the Most High, ‘Out of the ground have we created you, and into the same will we cause you to return, and we will bring you forth yet thence another time.’”432 Q “What are the five that ate and drank, yet came not out of loins nor womb?” “Adam and Simeon433 and Salih’s she-camel434 and Ishmael’s ram and the bird that Abu Bakr the Truth-teller saw in the cave.435 “ Q “Tell me of five that are in Paradise and are neither humans, Jinns nor angels?” “Jacob’s wolf and the Seven Sleepers’ dog and Esdras’s ass and Salih’s camel and Duldul the mule of the Prophet (upon whom be blessings and peace!).” Q “What man prayed a prayer neither on earth nor in heaven?” “Solomon, when he prayed on his carpet, borne by the wind.” Q “Ree me this riddle: — A man once looked at a handmaid during dawn-prayer, and she was unlawful to him; but, at noonday she became lawful to him: by mid-afternoon,, she was again unlawful, but at sundown, she was lawful to him: at supper time she was a third time unlawful, but by daybreak, she became once more lawful to him.” “This was a man who looked at another’s slave-girl in the morning, and she was then unlawful to him; but at midday he bought her, and she became lawful to him: at mid-afternoon he freed her, and she became unlawful to him; but at sundown he married her and she was again lawful to him. At nightfall he divorced her and she was then a third time unlawful to him; but, next morning at daybreak, he took her back, and she became once more lawful to him.” Q “Tell me what tomb went about with him that lay buried therein?” “Jonah’s whale, when it had swallowed him.” Q “What spot of lowland is it, upon which the sun shone once, but will never again shine till Judgment-Day?” “The bottom of the Red Sea, when Moses smote it with his staff, and the sea clave asunder in twelve places, according to the number of the tribes;436 then the sun shone on the bottom and will do so nevermore until Judgment-Day.” And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased to say her permitted say.

  When it was the Four Hundred and Fifty-eighth Night,

  She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that the philosopher then addressed the damsel saying, “What was the first skirt that trailed over the face of the earth?” She replied, “That of Hagar, out of shame before Sarah; and it became a custom among the Arabs.” Q “What is that which breatheth without life?” “Quoth Almighty Allah, ‘By the morning when it breatheth!’”437 Q “Ree me this riddle: — A number of pigeons came to a high tree and lighted, some on the tree and others under it. Said those on the tree to those on the ground, ‘If one of you come up to us, ye will be a third part of us all in number; and if one of us descend to you, we shall be like unto you in number,’ How many pigeons were there in all?” “Twelve: seven alighted on the tree and five beneath; and, if one go up, those above would be eight to four; and, if one go down, both would be six and Allah is all-knowing.”438 With this the philosopher put off his clothes and fled: whereupon the next contest took place, for she turned to the Olema present and said, “Which of you is the rhetorician that can discourse of all arts and sciences?” There came forward a sage hight Ibrahim bin Siyyαr and said to her, “Think me not like the rest.” Quoth she, “It is the more assured to me that thou wilt be beaten, for that thou art a boaster; and Allah will help me to victory over thee, that I may strip thee of thy clothes. So, if thou sentest one to fetch thee wherewithal to cover thyself, ’twould be well for thee.” Cried he, “By Allah, I will assuredly conquer thee and make thee a byword among the peoples, generation after generation!” Rejoined she, “Do penance in advance for thy broken oath.” Then he asked, “What five things did Allah create before he made man?”; and she answered, “Water and earth and light and darkness and the fruits of the earth.” Q “What did Allah create with the hand of omnipotence?” “The ‘Arsh, throne of God or the empyreal heaven and the tree Tϊbα439 and Adam and the garden of Eden; these Allah created with the hand of His omnipotence; but to all other created things He said, ‘Be,’ — and they were.” Q “Who is thy father in Al-Islam?” “Mohammed, whom Allah bless and preserve!” Q “Who was the father in Al-Islam of Mohammed?” “Abraham, the Friend of God.” Q “What is the Faith of Al-Islam?” “The professing that there is no god but the God and that Mohammed is the apostle of God.” Q “What is thy first and thy last?” “My first is man’s seed in the shape of foul water and my last filthy carrion: the first of me is dust and the last of me is dust. Quoth the poet,

  ‘Of dust was I created, and man did I become, * In question ever

  ready and aye fluent in reply,

  Then, I unto the dust return’d, became of it again, * For that,

  in very deed, of dust at first create was I.’”

  He continued, “What thing was it, whose first state was wood and its last life?” “Moses’ staff,440 when he cast it on the valley-ground and it became, by permission of Allah, a writhing serpent.” Q “What is the meaning of the word of the Lord, ‘And I have other occasion for it?’”441 “He, Moses, was wont to plant his staff in the ground, and it would flower and fruit and shade him from the heat and from the cold. Moreover, it would carry him when he was weary, and whilst he slept, guard his sheep from lions and wild beasts.” Q “What woman was born of a man alone and what man of a woman alone?” “Eve of Adam and Jesus of Mary.442 “ Q “Tell me of the four fires, what fire eateth and drinketh; what fire eateth but drinketh not; what fire drinketh but eateth not and what other neither eateth nor drinketh?” “The fire of the world eateth but drinketh not; the fire which eateth and drinketh is Hell-fire; the fire of the sun drinketh but eateth not, and the fire of the moon neither eateth nor drinketh.” Q “Which is the open door and which the shut?” “The Traditional Ordinances are the open door, the Koranic the shut door.” Q “Of what doth the poet speak, when he saith,

  ‘And dweller in the tomb whose food is at his head, * When he

  eateth of that meat, of words he waxeth fain:

  He riseth and he walketh and he talketh without tongue; * And

  returneth to the tomb where his kith and kin are lain.

  No living wight is he, yet, in honour he abides; * Nor dea
d yet

  he deserveth that Allah him assain.’”

  She replied, “The reed-pen.”443 Quoth he “What doth the poet refer to in these verses,

  ‘Two vests in one; blood flowing easiest wise; * Rosy red ears

  and mouth wide open lies;

  It hath a cock-like form, its belly pecks * And, if you price it,

  half a dirham buys.’”

  She replied, “The ink-case.” Quoth he, “And in these,

  ‘Ho say to men of wisdom, wit and lore * To sapient, reverend,

  clever counsellor:

  Tell me what was’t you saw that bird bring forth * When wandering

  Arab-land and Ajam o’er?

  No flesh it beareth and it hath no blood, * Nor down nor any

  feathers e’er it wore.

  ’Tis eaten cooked and eke ’tis eaten cold; * ’Tis eaten buried

  ‘neath the flames that roar:

  It showeth twofold colours, silver white * And yellow brighter

  than pure golden ore:

  ’Tis not seen living or we count it dead: * So ree my riddle rich

  in marvel-store!’”

  She replied, “Thou makest longsome the questioning anent an egg worth a mite.” Q “And this?,

  ‘I waved to and fro and he waved to and fro, * With a motion so

  pleasant, now fast and now slow;

  And at last he sunk down on my bosom of snow; * ‘Your lover

  friend?’”

  “No friend, my fan;”444 said she. Q “How many words did Allah speak to Moses?” “It is related of the Apostle that he said, ‘God spoke to Moses fifteen hundred and fifteen words.’” Q “Tell me of fourteen things that speak to the Lord of the Worlds?” “The seven heavens and the seven earths, when they say, ‘We come obedient to Thy command.’”445 — And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased saying her permitted say.

  When it was the Four Hundred and Fifty-ninth Night,

  She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that when the damsel made the answer, the philosopher continued, “Tell me of Adam and how he was first created?” and she said, “Allah created Adam of clay: the clay He made of foam and the foam of the sea, the sea of darkness, darkness of light, light of a fish, the fish of a rock, the rock of a ruby, the ruby of water, and the water He created by His Omnipotence according to His saying (exalted be His name!), ‘His commandment when He willeth aught, is but to say, BE, — and IT IS.’”446 Q “What is meant by the poet in these verses,

  ‘And eater lacking mouth and even maw; * Yet trees and beasts to

  it are daily bread:

  Well fed it thrives and shows a lively life, * But give it water

  and you do it dead?’”

  “This,” quoth she, “is Fire.” “And in these;” he asked,

  “Two lovers barred from every joy and bliss, * Who through the

  livelong night embracing lie:

  They guard the folk from all calamities, * But with the rising

  sun apart they fly?”

  She answered, “The leaves of a door.” Quoth he, “Tell me of the gates of Gehenna?” Quoth she, “They are seven in number and their names are comprised in these two couplets,

  ‘Jahannam, next Lazα, and third Hatνm; * Then count Sa’νr and

  Sakar eke, five-fold,

  Sixth comes Jahνm and Hαwiyah the seventh; * Here are seven Hells

  in four lines briefly told.’”

  Quoth he “To what doth the poet refer when he saith,

  ‘She wears a pair of ringlets long let down * Behind her, as she

  comes and goes at speed,

  And eye that never tastes of sleep nor sheds * A tear, for ne’er

  a drop it hath at need;

  That never all its life wore stitch of clothes; * Yet robes

  mankind in every-mode of weed?’”

  Quoth she, “A needle.” Q “What is the length and what the breadth of the bridge Al-Sirαt?” “Its length is three thousand years’ journey, a thousand in descent and a thousand in ascent and a thousand level: it is sharper than a sword and finer than a hair.” — And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased to say her permitted say.

  When it was the Four Hundred and Sixtieth Night,

  She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that when the damsel had described to him Al-Sirat, the philosopher said, “Inform me how many intercessions with Allah hath the Prophet for each soul?”447 “Three.” Q “Was Abu Bakr the first who embraced Al-Islam?” “Yes.” Q “Yet Ali became a Moslem before him?” “Ali came to the Prophet, when he was a boy of seven years old, for Allah vouchsafed him knowledge of the way of salvation in his tender youth, so that he never prostrated himself to idols.” Quoth he, “Tell me which is the more excellent, Ali or Abbαs?” Now she knew that, in propounding this question, Ibrahim was laying a trap for her; for if she said, “Ali is more excellent than Abbas,” she would lack excuse with the Caliph for undervaluing his ancestor; so she bowed her head awhile, now reddening, then paling, and lastly said, “Thou askest me of two excellent men, each having his own excellence. Let us return to what we were about.” When the Caliph Harun al-Rashid heard her, he stood up and said, “Thou hast spoken well, by the Lord of the Ka’abah, O Tawaddud!” Then quoth Ibrahim the rhetorician, “What meaneth the poet when he saith,

  ‘Slim-wasted one, whose taste is sweetest-sweet, * Likest a lance

  whereon no head we scan:

  And all the lieges find it work them weal, * Eaten of afternoon

  in Ramazan.’”

  She answered, “The sugar-cane;” and he said, “Tell me of many things.” Asked she, “What are they?” and he said, “What is sweeter than honey; what is sharper than the sword; what is swifter than poison; what is the delight of a moment and what the contentment of three days; what is the pleasantest of days; what is the joy of a week; what is that debt the worst debtor denieth not; what is the prison of the tomb; what is the joy of the heart; what is the snare of the soul; what is death-in-life; what is the disease that may not be healed; what is the shame that may not be wiped off; what is the beast that woneth not in cultivated fields, but lodgeth in waste places and hateth the sons of Adam and hath in him somewhat of the make of seven strong and violent beasts?” Quoth she, “Hear what I shall say in reply; then put off thy clothes, that I may explain to thee;” and the Caliph said, “Expound, and he shall doff his clothes.” So she said, “Now that, which is sweeter than honey, is the love of pious children to their two parents; that, which is sharper than the sword, is the tongue; that, which is swifter than poison, is the Envier’s eye; the delight of a moment is carnal copulation and the contentment of three days is the depilatory for women; the pleasantest of days is that of profit on merchandise; the joy of a week is the bride; the debt, which the worst debtor denieth not, is death; the prison of the tomb is a bad son; the joy of the heart is a woman obedient to her husband (and it is said also that, when fleshmeat descendeth upon the heart, it rejoiceth therein); the snare of the soul is a disobedient slave; death-in-life is poverty; the disease that may not be healed is an ill-nature, and the shame that may not be wiped away is an ill daughter; lastly, the beast that woneth not in cultivated fields, but lodgeth in waste places and hateth the sons of Adam and hath in him somewhat of the make of seven strong and violent beasts, is the locust, whose head is as the head of a horse, its neck as the neck of the bull, its wings as the wings of the vulture, its feet as the feet of the camel, its tail as the tail of the serpent, its belly as the belly of the scorpion and its horns as the horns of the gazelle.” The Caliph was astounded at her quickness and understanding, and said to the rhetorician, “Doff thy clothes.” So he rose up and cried, “I call all who are present in this assembly to witness that she is more learned than I and every other learned man.” And he put off his clothes and gave them to her, saying, “Take them and may Allah not bless them to thee!” So the Caliph ordered him fresh clothes and said, “O Tawaddud, ther
e is one thing left of that for which thou didst engage, namely, chess.” And he sent for experts of chess and cards448 and trictrac. The chess-player sat down before her, and they set the pieces, and he moved and she moved; but, every move he made she speedily countered, — And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased saying her permitted say.