One Thousand and One Nights

by Richard Burton

  When it was the Nine Hundred and Thirty-seventh Night,

  She pursued, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that when Abu Kir and Abu Sir were exchanging reproof and excuse, the dyer said to him, “Even as thou art beknown of the King, so also am I; and, Inshallah,-God willing-I will make him love and favour thee more than ever, for my sake, he knoweth not that thou art my comrade, but I will acquaint him of this and commend thee to him.” But Abu Sir said, “There needeth no commendation; for He who moveth man’s heart to love still liveth; and indeed the King and all his court affect me and have given me this and that.” And he told him the whole tale and said to him, “Put off thy clothes behind the chest and enter the Hammam, and I will go in with thee and rub thee down with the glove.” So he doffed his dress and Abu Sir, entering the bath with him, soaped him and gloved him and then dressed him and busied himself with his service till he came forth, when he brought him dinner and sherbets, whilst all the folk marvelled at the honour he did him. Then Abu Kir would have given him somewhat; but he swore that he would not accept aught from him and said to him, “Shame upon such doings! Thou art my comrade, and there is no difference between us.” Then Abu Kir observed, “By Allah, O my comrade, this is a mighty fine Hammam of thine, but there lacketh somewhat in its ordinance.” Asked Abu Sir, “And what is that?” and Abu Kir answered, “It is the depilatory,219 to wit, the paste compounded of yellow arsenic and quicklime which removeth the hair with comfort. Do thou prepare it and next time the King cometh, present it to him, teaching him how he shall cause the hair to fall off by such means, and he will love thee with exceeding love and honour thee.” Quoth Abu Sir, “Thou speakest sooth, and Inshallah, I will at once make it.” Then Abu Kir left him and mounted his mule and going to the King said to him, “I have a warning to give thee, O King of the age!” “And what is thy warning?” asked the King; and Abu Kir answered, “I hear that thou hast built a Hammam.” Quoth the King, “Yes: there came to me a stranger and I builded the Baths for him, even as I builded the dyery for thee; and indeed ’tis a mighty fine Hammam and an ornament to my city;” and he went on to describe to him the virtues of the bath. Quoth the dyer, “Hast thou entered therein?”; and quoth the King, “Yes.” Thereupon cried Abu Kir, “Alhamdolillah-praised be God,-who save thee from the mischief of yonder villain and foe of the Faith, I mean the bathkeeper!” The King enquired, “And what of him?”; and Abu Kir replied, “Know, O King of the age that, an thou enter the Hammam again, after this day, thou wilt surely perish.” “How so?” said the King; and the dyer said, “This bath-keeper is thy foe and the foe of the Faith, and he induced thee not to stablish this Bath but because he designed therein to poison thee. He hath made for thee somewhat and he will present it to thee when thou enterest the Hammam, saying, ‘This is a drug which, if one apply to his parts below the waist, will remove the hair with comfort.’ Now it is no drug, but a drastic dreg and a deadly poison; for the Sultan of the Christians hath promised this obscene fellow to release to him his wife and children, an he will kill thee; for they are prisoners in the hands of that Sultan. I myself was captive with him in their land, but I opened a dyery and dyed for them various colours, so that they conciliated the King’s heart to me and he bade me ask a boon of him. I sought of him freedom and he set me at liberty, whereupon I made my way to this city and seeing yonder man in the Hammam, said to him, ‘How didst thou effect thine escape and win free with thy wife and children?’ Quoth he, ‘We ceased not to be in captivity, I and my wife and children, till one day the King of the Nazarenes held a court whereat I was present, amongst a number of others; and as I stood amongst the folk, I heard them open out on the Kings and name them, one after other, till they came to the name of the King of this city, whereupon the King of the Christians cried out ‘Alas!’ and said, ‘None vexeth me220 in the world, but the King of such a city!221 Whosoever will contrive me his slaughter I will give him all he shall ask.’ So I went up to him and said, ‘An I compass for thee his slaughter, wilt thou set me free, me and my wife and my children?’ The King replied ‘Yes; and I will give thee to boot whatso thou shalt desire.’ So we agreed upon this and he sent me in a galleon to this city, where I presented myself to the King and he built me this Hammam. Now, therefore, I have nought to do but to slay him and return to the King of the Nazarenes, that I may redeem my children and my wife and ask a boon of him.’ Quoth I, “And how wilt thou go about to kill him?’; and quoth he, ‘By the simplest of all devices; for I have compounded him somewhat wherein is poison; so, when he cometh to the bath, I shall say to him, ‘Take this paste and anoint therewith thy parts below the waist for it will cause the hair222 to drop off.’ So he will take it and apply it to himself and the poison will work in him a day and a night, till it reacheth his heart and destroyeth him; and meanwhile I shall have made off and none will know that it was I slew him.’” “When I heard this,” added Abu Kir, “I feared for thee, my benefactor, wherefore I have told thee of what is doing.” As soon as the King heard the dyer’s story, he was wroth with exceeding wrath and said to him, “Keep this secret.” Then he resolved to visit the Hammam, that he might dispel doubt by supplying certainty; and when he entered, Abu Sir doffed his dress and betaking himself as of wont to the service of the King, proceeded to glove him; after which he said to him, “O King of the age, I have made a drug which assisteth in plucking out the lower hair.” Cried the King, “Bring it to me”: so the barber brought it to him and the King, finding it nauseous of smell, was assured that it was poison; wherefore he was incensed and called out to his guards, saying, “Seize him!” Accordingly they seized him and the King donned his dress and returned to his palace, boiling with fury, whilst none knew the cause of his indignation; for, of the excess of his wrath he had acquainted no one therewith and none dared ask him. Then he repaired to the audience-chamber and causing Abu Sir to be brought before him, with his elbows pinioned, sent for his Sea-captain and said to him, “Take this villain and set him in a sack with two quintals of lime unslacked and tie its mouth over his head. Then lay him in a cock-boat and row out with him in front of my palace, where thou wilt see me sitting at the lattice. Do thou say to me, ‘Shall I cast him in?’ and if I answer, ‘Cast him!’ throw the sack into the sea, so the quick-lime may be slaked on him to the intent that he shall die drowned and burnt.”223 “Hearkening and obeying;” quoth the Captain and taking Abu Sir from the presence carried him to an island facing the King’s palace, where he said to him, “Ho thou, I once visited thy Hammam and thou entreatedst me with honour and accomplishedst all my needs and I had great pleasure of thee: moreover, thou swarest that thou wouldst take no pay of me, and I love thee with a great love. So tell me how the case standeth between thee and the King and what abominable deed thou hast done with him that he is wroth with thee and hath commanded me that thou shouldst die this foul death.” Answered Abu Sir, “I have done nothing, nor weet I of any crime I have committed against him which meriteth this!” — And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased to say her permitted say.

  When it was the Nine Hundred and Thirty-eighth Night,

  She resumed, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that when the Sea-captain asked Abu Sir the cause of the King’s wrath with him, he replied, “By Allah, O my brother I have committed no crime against him which meriteth this!” Rejoined the Captain, “Verily, thou wast high in rank with the King, such as none ever won before thee, and all who are prosperous are envied. Haply some one was jealous of thy good fortune and threw out certain hints concerning thee to the King, by reason whereof he is become enraged against thee with rage so violent: but be of good cheer; no harm shall befal thee; for, even as thou entreatedst me generously, without acquaintanceship between me and thee, so now I will deliver thee. But, an if I release thee, thou must abide with me on this island till some galleon sail from our city to thy native land, when I will send thee thither therein.” Abu Sir kissed his hand and thanked him for that; after which the Captain fetched the quicklime and s
et it in a sack, together with a great stone, the size of a man, saying, “I put my trust in Allah!”224 Then he gave the barber a net, saying, “Cast this net into the sea, so haply thou mayst take somewhat of fish. For I am bound to supply the King’s kitchen with fish every day; but to-day I have been distracted from fishing by this calamity which hath befallen thee, and I fear lest the cook’s boys come to me in quest of fish and find none. So, an thou take aught, they will find it and thou wilt veil my face,225 whilst I go and play off my practice in front of the palace and feign to cast thee into the sea.” Answered Abu Sir, “I will fish the while; go thou and God help thee!” So the Captain set the sack in the boat and paddled till he came under the palace, where he saw the King seated at the lattice and said to him, “O King of the age, shall I cast him in?” “Cast him!” cried the King, and signed to him with his hand, when lo and behold!; something flashed like leven and fell into the sea. Now that which had fallen into the water was the King’s seal-ring; and the same was enchanted in such way that, when the King was wroth with any one and was minded to slay him, he had but to sign to him with his right hand, whereon was the signet-ring, and therefrom issued a flash of lightning, which smote the object, and thereupon his head fell from between his shoulders; and the troops obeyed him not, nor did he overcome the men of might save by means of the ring. So, when it dropped from his finger, he concealed the matter and kept silence, for that dared not say, “My ring is fallen into the sea,” for fear of the troops, lest they rise against him and slay him. On this wise it befel the King; but as regards Abu Sir, after the Captain had left him on the island he took the net and casting it into the sea presently drew it up full of fish; nor did he cease to throw it and pull it up full, till there was a great mound of fish before him. So he said in himself, “By Allah, his long while I have not eaten fish!”; and chose himself a large fat fish, saying, “When the Captain cometh back, I will bid him fry it for me, so I may dine on it.” Then he cut its throat with a knife he had with him; but the knife stuck in its gills and there he saw the King’s signet-ring; for the fish had swallowed it and Destiny had driven it to that island, where it had fallen into the net. He took the ring and drew it on his little finger,226 not knowing its peculiar properties. Presently, up came two of the cook’s boys in quest of fish and seeing Abu Sir, said to him, “O man, whither is the Captain gone?” “I know not,” said he and signed to them with his right hand; when, behold, the heads of both underlings dropped off from between their shoulders. At this Abu Sir was amazed and said, “Would I wot who slew them!” And their case was grievous to him and he was still pondering it, when the Captain suddenly returned and seeing the mound of fishes and two men lying dead and the seal-ring on Abu Sir’s finger, said to him, “O my brother, move not thy hand whereon is the signet-ring; else thou wilt kill me.” Abu Sir wondered at this speech and kept his hand motionless; whereupon the Captain came up to him and said, “Who slew these two men?” “By Allah, O my brother I wot not!” “Thou sayst sooth; but tell me whence hadst thou that ring?” “I found it in this fish’s gills.” “True,” said the Captain, “for I saw it fall flashing from the King’s palace and disappear in the sea, what time he signed towards thee,227 saying, Cast him in. So I cast the sack into the water, and it was then that the ring slipped from his finger and fell into the sea, where this fish swallowed it, and Allah drave it to thee, so that thou madest it thy prey, for this ring was thy lot; but kennest thou its property?” Said Abu Sir, “I knew not that it had any properties peculiar to it;” and the Captain said, “Learn, then, that the King’s troops obey him not save for fear of this signet-ring, because it is spelled, and when he was wroth with any one and had a mind to kill him, he would sign at him therewith and his head would drop from between his shoulders; for there issued a flash of lightning from the ring and its ray smote the object of his wrath, who died forthright.” At this, Abu Sir rejoiced with exceeding joy and said to the Captain, “Carry me back to the city;” and he said, “That will I, now that I no longer fear for thee from the King; for, wert thou to sign at him with thy hand, purposing to kill him, his head would fall down between thy hands; and if thou be minded to slay him and all his host, thou mayst slaughter them without let or hindrance.” So saying, he embarked him in the boat and bore him back to the city; — And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased saying her permitted say.

  When it was the Nine Hundred and Thirty-ninth Night,

  She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that when the Captain embarked with Abu Sir he bore him back to the city, so Abu Sir landed and going up to the palace, entered the council-chamber, where he found the King seated facing his officers, in sore cark and care by reason of the seal-ring and daring not tell any of his folk anent its loss. When he saw Abu Sir, he said to him, “Did we not cast thee into the sea? How hast thou contrived to come forth of it?” Abu Sir replied, “O King of the age, whenas thou badest throw me into the sea, thy Captain carried me to an island and asked me of the cause of thy wrath against me, saying, ‘What hast thou done with the King, that he should decree thy death?’ I answered, ‘By Allah, I know not that I have wrought him any wrong!’ Quoth he, ‘Thou wast high in rank with the King, and haply some one envied thee and threw out certain hints concerning thee to him, so that he is become incensed against thee. But when I visited thee in thy Hammam, thou entreatedst me honourably, and I will requite thee thy hospitality to me by setting thee free and sending thee back to thine own land.’ Then he set a great stone in the sack in my stead and cast it into the sea; but, when thou signedst to him to throw me in, thy seal-ring dropped from thy finger into the main, and a fish swallowed it. Now I was on the island a-fishing, and this fish came up in the net with the others; whereupon I took it, intending to broil it; but, when I opened its belly, I found the signet-ring therein; so I took it and put it on my finger. Presently, up came two of the servants of the kitchen, questing fish, and I signed to them with my hand, knowing not the property of the seal-ring, and their heads fell off. Then the Captain came back, and seeing the ring on my finger, acquainted me with its spell; and behold, I have brought it back to thee, for that thou dealtest kindly by me and entreatedst me with the utmost honour, nor is that which thou hast done me of kindness lost upon me. Here is thy ring; take it! But an I have done with thee aught deserving of death, tell me my crime and slay me and thou shalt be absolved of sin in shedding my blood.” So saying, he pulled the ring from his finger and gave it to the King who, seeing Abu Sir’s noble conduct, took the ring and put it on and felt life return to him afresh. Then he rose to his feet and embracing the barber, said to him, “O man, thou art indeed of the flower of the well-born! Blame me not, but forgive me the wrong I have done thee. Had any but thou gotten hold of this ring, he had never restored it to me.” Answered Abu Sir, “O King of the age, an thou wouldst have me forgive thee, tell me what was my fault which drew down thine anger upon me, so that thou commandedst to do me die.” Rejoined the King, “By Allah, ’tis clear to me that thou art free and guiltless in all things of offence since thou hast done this good deed; only the dyer denounced thee to me in such and such words;” and he told him all that Abu Kir had said. Abu Sir replied, “By Allah, O King of the age, I know no King of the Nazarenes nor during my days have ever journeyed to a Christian country, nor did it ever come into my mind to kill thee. But this dyer was my comrade and neighbour in the city of Alexandria where life was straitened upon us; therefore we departed thence, to seek our fortunes, by reason of the narrowness of our means at home, after we had recited the Opening Chapter of the Koran together, pledging ourselves that he who got work should feed him who lacked work; and there befel me with him such and such things.” Then he went on to relate to the King all that had betided him with Abu Kir the dyer; how he had robbed him of his dirhams and had left him alone and sick in the Khan-closet and how the door-keeper had fed him of his own monies till Allah recovered him of his sickness, when he went forth and walked about the city with his bu
dget, as was his wont, till he espied a dyery, about which the folk were crowding; so he looked at the door and seeing Abu Kir seated on a bench there, went in to salute him, whereupon he accused him of being a thief and beat him a grievous beating; brief, he told him his whole tale, from first to last, and added, “O King of the age, ’twas he who counselled me to make the depilatory and present it to thee, saying, ‘The Hammam is perfect in all things but that it lacketh this’; and know, O King of the age, that this drug is harmless and we use it in our land where ’tis one of the requisites of the bath; but I had forgotten it: so, when the dyer visited the Hammam I entreated him with honour and he reminded me of it, and enjoined me to make it forthwith. But do thou send after the porter of such a Khan and the workmen of the dyery and question them all of that which I have told thee.” Accordingly the King sent for them and questioned them one and all and they acquainted him with the truth of the matter. Then he summoned the dyer, saying, “Bring him barefooted, bareheaded and with elbows pinioned!” Now he was sitting in his house, rejoicing in Abu Sir’s death; but ere he could be ware, the King’s guards rushed in upon him and cuffed him on the nape, after which they bound him and bore him into the presence, where he saw Abu Sir seated by the King’s side and the door-keeper of the Khan and workmen of the dyery standing before him. Quoth the door-keeper to him, “Is no this thy comrade whom thou robbedst of his silvers and leftest with me sick in the closet doing such and such by him?” And the workmen said to him, “Is not this he whom thou badest us seize and beat?” Therewith Abu Kir’s baseness was made manifest to the King and he was certified that he merited torture yet sorer than the torments of Munkar and Nakнr.228 So he said to his guards, “Take him and parade him about the city and the markets;” — And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased to say her permitted say.