One Thousand and One Nights

by Richard Burton

  Richard Francis Burton’s translation: detailed table of contents

  The Second Night of the Mouth.

  When the even evened, the king sat private in his sitting-chamber

  and his mind was occupied with the story of the Singer and the

  Druggist. So he called the Wazir and bade him tell the tale.

  Answered he, “I will well. They recount, O my lord, the following

  Richard Francis Burton’s translation: detailed table of contents

  Tale of the Singer and the Druggist.

  There was once in the city of Hamadбn316 a young man of seemly semblance and skilled in singing to the lute; wherefore he was well seen of the citizens. He went forth one day of his home with intent to travel, and gave not over journeying till his travel brought him to a town and a goodly. Now he had with him a lute and its appurtenance,317 so he entered and went round about the streets till he happened upon a druggist who, when he espied him, called to him. So he went up to him and bade him sit down; accordingly, the youth sat down by his side, and the druggist questioned him of his case. The singer told him what was in his mind, and the pharmacist took him up into his shop and bought him food and fed him. Then said he to him, “Rise and take up thy lute and beg about the streets, and whenas thou smellest the reek of wine, break in upon the drinkers and say to them, I am a singer. They will laugh and cry, Come in to us. And when thou singest, the folk will know thee and speak one to other of thee; so shalt thou become known about town, and thou shalt better thy business.” He went round about, as the druggist bade him, till the sun waxed hot, but found none drinking. Then he entered a lane, that he might take rest, and seeing there a handsome house and a lofty, stood in its shade and fell to observing the excellence of its edification. Now while he was thus engaged, behold, a casement opened and there appeared thereat a face, as it were the moon. Quoth the owner of the face, “What aileth thee to stand there? Dost thou want aught?” And quoth he, “I am a stranger,” and acquainted her with his adventure; whereupon asked she, “What sayst thou to meat and drink and the enjoyment of a fair face and getting thee spending-money?” And he answered, “O mistress mine, this is my desire whereof I am going about in quest!” So she opened the door to him and brought him in: then she seated him at the upper end of the room and served him with food. He ate and drank and lay with her and futtered her. This ended, she sat down in his lap and they toyed and laughed and exchanged kisses till the day was half done, when her husband came home and she had no recourse but to hide the singer in a mat,318 in which she rolled him up. The husband entered and seeing the battle-place319 disordered and smelling the reek of liquor questioned her of this. Quoth she, “I had with me a bosom friend of mine and I conjured her to crack a cup with me; and so we drank a jar full, I and she, and but now, before thy coming in, she fared forth.” Her husband deemed her words true and went away to his shop, he being none other than the singer’s friend the druggist, who had invited him and fed him; whereupon the lover came forth and he and the lady returned to their pleasant pastime and abode on this wise till evening, when she gave him money and said to him, “To-morrow in the forenoon come hither to me.” He replied, “Yes,” and departed; and at nightfall he went to the Hammam-bath. On the morrow, he betook himself to the shop of his friend the druggist, who welcomed him as soon as he saw him, and questioned him of his case and how he had fared that day. Quoth the singer, “Allah requite thee with welfare, O my brother, for indeed thou hast directed me to a restful life!” Then he acquainted him with his adventure and told him the tale of the woman, till he came to the mention of her husband, when he said, “And at midday came the horned cuckold,320 her husband, and knocked at the door. So she wrapped me in the mat, and when he had wended his ways I came forth and we returned to our pleasant play.” This was grievous to the druggist, and he repented of having taught him how he should do and suspected his wife. Accordingly he asked the singer, “And what said she to thee at thy going away?” and the other answered, “She said, Come back to me on the morrow. So, behold, I am off to her and I came not hither but that I might acquaint thee with this, lest thy thoughts be pre-occupied with me.” Then he farewelled him, and walked out. As soon as the druggist was assured that he had reached the house, he cast the net321 over his shop and made for his home, in some suspicion of his wife, and knocked at the door. Now the singer had entered and the druggist’s wife said to him, “Up with thee and enter this chest.” Accordingly he entered it and she shut it down on him and opened to her husband, who came in all distraught, and searched the house but found none and overlooked the chest. Hereat he said in his mind “The house322 is one which favoureth my house and the woman is one who favoureth my wife,” and returned to his shop; whereupon the singer came forth of the chest and falling upon the druggist’s wife, had his wicked will of her and spent upon her what was her due, and weighed down the scale for her with full measure. Then they ate and drank and kissed and clipped necks, and in this way they abode till the evening, when she gave him money, because she found his weaving nice and good,323 and made him promise to come to her on the morrow. So he left her and slept his night and on the morrow he returned to the shop of his friend the druggist and saluted him. The other welcomed him and questioned him of his case; whereat he told his tale till he ended with the mention of the woman’s husband, when he said, “Then came the horned cuckold, her mate and she stowed me away in the chest and shut down the lid upon me, whilst her addlepated pander324 of a husband went about the house, top and bottom; and when he had gone his way, we returned to our pleasant pastime.” With this, the druggist was assured that the house was his house and the wife his wife, and quoth he, “Now what wilt thou do to-day?” Quoth the singer, “I shall return to her and weave for her and full her yarn325 , and I came not326 save to thank thee for thy dealing with me.” Then he went away, whilst the fire was loosed in the heart of the druggist and he shut his shop and returning to his house, rapped at the door. Said the singer, “Let me jump into the chest, for he saw me not yesterday;” but said she, “No! wrap thyself up in the mat.” So he wrapped himself up and stood in a corner of the room, whilst the druggist entered and went no whither else save to the chest, but found naught inside. Then he walked round about the house and searched it, top and bottom, but came upon nothing and no one and abode between belief and disbelief, and said to himself, “Haply, I suspect my wife of what is not in her.” So he was certified of her innocence and going forth content, returned to his shop, whereupon out came the singer and they resumed their former little game, as was their wont, till eventide when she gave him one of her husband’s shirts and he took it and going away, nighted in his own lodging. Next morning he repaired to the druggist, who saluted him with the salam and came to meet him and rejoiced in him and smiled in his face, deeming his wife innocent. Then he questioned him of his case on yesterday and he told him how he had fared, saying, “O my brother, when the cornute knocked at the door, I would have jumped into the chest; but his wife forbade me and rolled me up in the mat. The man entered and thought of nothing save the chest; so he brake it open and woned like one jinn-mad, going up and coming down. Then he went about his business and I came out and we abode on our accustomed case till eventide, when she gave me this shirt of her husband’s; and behold, I am now off to her.” When the druggist heard the singer’s words, he was assured of the adventure and knew that the calamity, all of it, was in his own house and that the wife was his wife; and he considered the shirt, whereupon he redoubled in assuredness and said to the singer, “Art thou now going to her?” Said he, “Yes, O my brother,” and taking leave of him, went away; whereupon the druggist started up, as he were stark mad, and dismantled his shop.327 Whilst he was thus doing, the singer won to the house, and presently up came the druggist and knocked at the door. The lover would have wrapped himself up in the mat, but she forbade him and said, “Get thee down to the ground floor of the house and enter the oven-jar328 and close the cover upon thyself.�
�� So he did her bidding and she went down to her husband and opened the door to him, whereupon he came in and went round the house, but found no one and overlooked the oven-jar. Then he stood musing and sware that he would not again go forth of the house till the morrow. As for the singer, when his stay in the oven-jar grew longsome upon him, he came forth therefrom, thinking that her husband had gone away; and he went up to the terrace-roof and looking down, beheld his friend the druggist: whereat he was sore concerned and said in himself, “Alas, the disgrace, ah! This is my friend the druggist, who of me was fain and dealt me fair and I have paid him with foul.” He feared to return to the druggist; so he stepped down and opened the first door and would have gone out at a venture, unseen of the husband; but, when he came to the outer door, he found it locked and saw not the key. Hereat he returned to the terrace and began dropping from roof to roof till the people of the house heard him and hastened to fall upon him, deeming him a thief. Now that house belonged to a Persian man; so they laid hands on him and the house-master fell to beating him, saying to him, “Thou art a thief.” He replied, “No I am not a thief, but a singing-man, a stranger who, hearing your voices, came to sing to you.” When the folk heard his words, they talked of letting him go; but the Persian said, “O folk, let not his speech cozen you. This one is none other than a thief who knoweth how to sing, and when he cometh upon the like of us, he is a singer.” Said they, “O our lord, this man is a stranger, and needs we must release him.” Quoth he, “By Allah, my heart heaveth at this fellow! Let me kill him with beating;” but quoth they, “Thou mayst no ways do that.” So they delivered the singer from the Persian, the master of the house, and seated him amongst them, whereupon he began singing to them and they rejoiced in him. Now the Persian had a Mameluke,329 as he were the full moon, and he arose and went out, and the singer followed him and wept before him, professing lustful love to him and kissing his hands and feet. The Mameluke took compassion on him and said to him, “When the night cometh and my master entereth the Harim and the folk fare away, I will grant thee thy desire; and I sleep in such a place.” Then the singer returned and sat with the cup-companions, and the Persian rose and went out with the Mameluke by his side. Now330 the singer knew the place which the Mameluke occupied at the first of the night; but it chanced that the youth rose from his stead and the waxen taper went out. The Persian, who was drunk, fell over on his face, and the singer supposing him to be the Mameluke, said, “By Allah, ’tis good!” and threw himself upon him and began to work at his bag-trousers till the string was loosed; then he brought out331 his prickle upon which he spat and slipped it into him. Thereupon the Persian started up, crying out and, laying hands on the singer, pinioned him and beat him a grievous beating, after which he bound him to a tree that stood in the house-court. Now there was in the house a beautiful singing-girl and when she saw the singer tight pinioned and tied to the tree, she waited till the Persian lay down on his couch, when she arose and going up to the singer, fell to condoling with him over what had betided him and making eyes at him and handling his yard and rubbing it, till it rose upright. Then said she to him, “Do with me the deed of kind and I will loose thy pinion-bonds, lest he return and beat thee again; for he purposeth thee an ill purpose.” Quoth he, “Loose me and I will do it;” but quoth she, “I fear that, an I loose thee, thou wilt not do it. But I will do it and thou have me standing; and when I have done, I will loose thee.” So saying, she opened her clothes and introducing the singer’s prickle, fell to toing and froing.332 Now there was in the house a fighting-ram, which the Persian had trained to butting,333 and when he saw what the woman was doing, he thought she wished to do battle with him; so he broke his halter and running at her, butted her and split her skull. She fell on her back and shrieked; whereupon the Persian started up hastily from sleep and seeing the singing-girl on her back and the singer with yard on end, cried to him, “O accursed, doth not what thou hast erewhile done suffice thee?” Then he beat him a shrewd beating and opening the door, thrust him out in the middle of the night. He lay the rest of the dark hours in one of the ruins, and when he arose in the morning, he said, “None is in fault! I, for one, sought my own good, and he is no fool who seeketh good for himself; and the druggist’s wife also sought good for herself; but Predestination overcometh Precaution and for me there remaineth no tarrying in this town.” So he went forth from the place. “Nor” (continued the Wazir), “is this story, strange though it be, stranger than that of the King and his Son and that which betided them of wonders and rare marvels.” When the king heard this story, he deemed it pretty and pleasant and said, “This tale is near unto that which I know and ’tis my rede I should do well to have patience and hasten not to slay my Minister, so I may get of him the profitable story of the King and his Son.” Then he gave the Wazir leave to go away to his own house; so he thanked him and tarried in his home all that day.

  Richard Francis Burton’s translation: detailed table of contents

  The Third Night of the Month.

  When it was supper-time the king sought the sitting-chamber; and, summoning the Wazir, sought of him the story he had promised him; and the Minister said, “They tell, O king,

  Richard Francis Burton’s translation: detailed table of contents

  The Tale of the King who Kenned the Quintessence334 of

  Things.

  There came to a king of the kings, in his old age, a son, who grew up comely, quickwitted, clever: and, when he reached years of discretion and became a young man, his father said to him, “Take this realm and rule it in lieu of me, for I desire to flee from the sin of sovranty335 to Allah the Most High and don the woollen dress and devote all my time to devotion.” Quoth the Prince, “And I am another who desireth to take refuge with the Almighty.” So the king said, “Arise, let us flee forth and make for the mountains and there worship in shame before God the Most Great.” Accordingly, the twain gat them gear of wool and clothing themselves therewith, fared forth and wandered in the wolds and wastes; but, when some days had passed over them, both became weak for hunger and repented them of that they had done whenas penitence profited them not, and the Prince complained to his father of weariness and hunger. Cried the king, “Dear my son, I did with thee that which behoved me,336 but thou wouldst not hearken to me, and now there is no means of returning to thy former estate, for that another hath taken the kingdom and defendeth it from all foes: but indeed I will counsel thee of somewhat, wherein do thou pleasure me by compliance.” The Prince asked, “What is it?” and his father answered, “Take me and go with me to the market-street and sell me and receive my price and do with it whatso thou willest, and I shall become the property of one who shall provide for my wants.” The Prince enquired, “Who will buy thee of me, seeing thou art a very old man? Nay, do thou rather sell me, inasmuch as the demand for me will be more.” But the king replied, “An thou wert king, thou wouldest require service of me.” Accordingly the youth obeyed his father’s bidding and taking him, carried him to the slave-dealer and said, “Sell me this old man.” Said the dealer, “Who will buy this wight, and he a son of eighty years?”337 Then quoth he to the king, “In what crafts art thou cunning?” and quoth he, “I ken the quintessence of jewels and I ken the quintessence of horses and I ken the quintessence of men; brief, I ken the quintessence of all things.” So the slave-dealer took him and went about, offering him for sale to the folk; but none would buy. Presently, up came the Chef of the Sultan’s kitchen and asked, “What is this man?” and the dealer answered, “This be a Mameluke for sale.” The kitchener marvelled at this and bought the king, after questioning him of what he could do, for ten thousand dirhams. Then he weighed out the money and carried him to his house, but dared not employ him in aught of service; so he appointed him an allowance, a modicum sufficient for his maintenance, and repented him of having bought him, saying, “What shall I do with the like of this wight?” Presently, the king of the city was minded to go forth to his garden,338 a-pleasuring, and bade the co
ok precede him and appoint in his stead one who should dress the royal meat, so that, when he returned, he might find the meal ready. The Chef fell to thinking of whom he should appoint and was perplexed concerning his affair. As he was thus, the Shaykh came to him, and seeing him distraught as to how he should do, said to him, “Tell me what is in thy mind; haply I may bring thee relief.” So he acquainted him with the king’s wishes and he said, “Have no care for this, but leave me one of the serving-men and do thou go companying thy lord in peace and surety, for I will suffice thee of this.” Hereat the cook departed with the king, after he had brought the old man what he needed and left him a man of the guards; and when he was gone, the Shaykh bade the trooper wash the kitchen-battery and made ready food exceedingly fine. When the king returned he set the meat before him, and he tasted dishes whose like he had never savoured; whereat he was startled and asked who had dressed it. Accordingly they acquainted him with the Shaykh’s case and he summoned him to his presence and asking him anent the mystery, increased his allowance of rations;339 moreover, he bade that they should cook together, he and the kitchener, and the old man obeyed his bidding. Some time after this, there came two merchants to the king with two pearls of price and each of them declared that his pearl was worth a thousand dinars, but the folk was incompetent to value them. Then said the cook, “Allah prosper the king! Verily, the Shaykh whom I bought affirmed that he knew the quintessence of jewels and that he was skilled in cookery. We have tried him in his cuisine, and have found him the most knowing of men; and now, if we send after him and prove him on jewels, his second claim will be made manifest to us, whether true or false.” So the king bade fetch the Shaykh and he came and stood before the Sultan, who showed him the two pearls. Quoth he, “Now for this one, ’tis worth a thousand dinars;” and quoth the king, “So saith its owner.” “But for this other,” continued the old man, “’tis worth only five hundred.” The people laughed and admired his saying, and the merchant who owned the second pearl asked him, “How can this, which is bigger of bulk and worthier for water and righter of rondure, be less of value than that?” and the old man answered, “I have said what is with me.”340 Then quoth the king to him, “Indeed, the outer semblance thereof is like that of the other pearl; why then is it worth but the half of its price?” and quoth the old man, “Yes, but its inward is corrupt.” Asked the merchant, “Hath a pearl then an inward and an outward?” and the Shaykh answered, “Yea! In its interior is a teredo, a boring worm; but the other pearl is sound and secure against breakage.” The merchant continued, “Give us approof of this thy knowledge and confirm to us the truth of thy saying;” and the old man rejoined, “We will break it: an I prove a liar, here is my head, and if I speak sooth, thou wilt have lost thy pearl;” and the merchant said, “I agree to that.” So they brake the pearl and it was even as the old man had declared, to wit, in the heart of it was a boring worm. The king marvelled at what he saw and questioned him of how he came by the knowledge of this. The Shaykh replied, “O king, this kind of jewel is engendered in the belly of a creature called the oyster341 and its origin is a drop of rain and it resisteth the touch and groweth not warm whilst hent in hand:342 so, when its outer coat became tepid to my touch, I knew that it harboured some living thing, for that things of life thrive not save in heat.” Therefore the king said to the cook, “Increase his allowance;” and the Chef appointed to him fresh rations. Now some time after this, two merchants presented themselves to the king with two horses, and one said, “I ask a thousand ducats for my horse,” and the other, “I seek five thousand ducats for mine.” Quoth the cook, “We are now familiar with the old man’s just judgment; what deemeth the king of fetching him?” So the king bade fetch him, and when he saw the two horses343 he said, “This is worth a thousand and that two thousand ducats.” Quoth the folk, “This horse thou misjudgest is evidently a thoroughbred and he is younger and faster and compacter of limb and finer of head and clearer of colour and skin than the other;” presently adding, “What assurance hast thou of the sooth of thy saying?” And the old man said, “This ye state is true, all true; but his sire is old and this other is the son of a young horse. Now, when the son of an old horse standeth still a-breathing, his breath returneth not to him and his rider falleth into the hand of him who followeth after him; but the son of a young horse, an thou put him to speed and after making him run, alight from him, thou wilt find him, by reason of his robustness, untired.” Quoth the merchant, “’Tis even as the Shaykh avoucheth and he is an excellent judge.” And the king said, “Increase his allowance.” But the Shaykh stood still and did not go away; so the king asked him, “Why dost thou not go about thy business?” and he answered, “My business is with the king.” Said the king, “Name what thou wouldest have,” and the other replied, “I would have thee question me of the quintessence of men, even as thou hast questioned me of the quintessence of horses.” Quoth the king, “We have no occasion to question thee thereof;” but quoth the old man, “I have occasion to acquaint thee.” “Say what thou wilt,” rejoined the king, and the Shaykh said, “Verily, the king is the son of a baker.” Cried the king, “How and whereby kennest thou that?” and the Shaykh replied, “Know, O king, that I have examined into degrees and dignities344 and have learned this.” Thereupon the king went in to his mother and asked her anent his sire, and she told him that the king her husband was impotent;345 “So,” quoth she, “I feared for the kingdom, lest it pass away, after his death; wherefore I yielded my person to a young man, a baker, and conceived by him and bare a man-child;346 and the kingship came into the hand of my son, that is, thyself.” So the king returned to the Shaykh and said to him, “I am indeed the son of a baker; so do thou expound to me the means whereby thou knewest me for this.” Quoth the other, “I knew that, hadst thou been the son of a king, thou wouldst have gifted me with things of price, such as rubies and the like; and wert thou the son of a Kazi, thou hadst given largesse of a dirham or two dirhams, and wert thou the son of any of the merchants, thou hadst given me muchel of money. But I saw that thou bestowedst upon me naught save two bannocks of bread and other rations, wherefore I knew thee to be the son of a baker;” and quoth the king, “Thou hast hit the mark.” Then he gave him wealth galore and advanced him to high estate. The tale aforesaid pleased King Shah Bakht and he marvelled thereat; but the Wazir said to him, “This story is not stranger than that of the Richard who married his beautiful daughter to the poor Shaykh.” The king’s mind was occupied with the promised tale and he bade the Wazir withdraw to his lodging; so he went and abode there the rest of the night and the whole of the following day.