One Thousand and One Nights

by Richard Burton

  The Five Hundred and Twelfth Night,

  Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!” She replied, “With love and good will!” It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that Al-Hajjaj said, “Now do thou inform me who is the most excellent of the Arabs and the noblest and of blood the purest?”— “The Khoraysh.” “And wherefore so?” “For that the Prophets from them proceeded.” “And what tribe is the knightliest of the Arabs and the bravest and the firmest in fight?”— “The Banu Háshim.”60 “And wherefore so?” “For that my grandsire the Imám Alí ibn Abí Tálib is of them.” “And who is the most generous of the Arabs and most steadfast in the guest-rite?”— “The Banu Tayy.” “And wherefore so?” “For that Hátim of Tayy61 was one thereof.” “And who is the vilest of the Arabs and the meanest and the most miserly, in whom weal is smallest and ill is greatest?” “The Banu Thakíf.”62 “And wherefore so?” “Because thou, O Hajjaj, art of them.” Thereupon the Lieutenant of Kufah raged with exceeding rage and ordered the slaughter of the youth; but the Grandees of the State rose up and prayed him for mercy, when he accepted their intercession and pardoned the offender. After which he said to him, “O young man, concerning the kid63 that is in the firmament, tell me be it male or female?” for he was minded on this wise to cut short his words. The young Sayyid replied, “O Hajjaj, draw me aside its tail so I may inform thee thereanent.”64 “O young man, say me on what pasture best grow the horns of the camel?” “From leaves of stone.” “O lack-wit! do stones bear leaves?” “O swollen of lips and little of wits and wisdom, say me do camels have horns?” “Haply thou art a lover fond, O youth?” “Yes! in love drowned.” “And whom lovest thou?”— “I love my lord, of whom I hope that he will turn my annoy into joy, and who can save me this day from thee, O Hajjaj.” “And dost thou know the Lord?” “Yes, I do.” “And whereby hast thou known Him?” “By the book of Him which descended upon His Prophet-Apostle.” “And knowest thou the Koran by heart?” “Doth the Koran fly from me that I should learn it by rote?” “Hast thou confirmed knowledge thereof?” “Verily Allah sent down a book confirmed.”65 “Hast thou perused and mastered that which is therein?” “I have.” “Then, O young man, if thou have read and learned what it containeth, tell me which verset is the sublimest (1) and which verset is the most imperious (2) and which verset is hopefullest (3) and which verset is fearfullest (4) and which verset is believed by the Jew and the Nazarene (5) and in which verset Allah speaketh purely of Himself (6) and in which verset be the Angels mentioned (7) and which verset alludeth to the Prophets (8) and in which verset be mentioned the People of Paradise (9) and which verset speaketh of the Folk of the Fire (10) and which verset containeth tenfold signs (11) and which verset (12) speaketh of Iblís (whom Allah accurse!).” Then quoth the youth, “Listen to my answering, O Hajjaj, with the aid of the Beneficent King. Now the sublimest verset in the Book of Allah Almighty is the Throne verse;66 and the most imperious is the word of Almighty Allah, ‘Verily Allah ordereth justice and well-doing and bestowal of gifts upon kith and kin’;67 and the justest is the word of the Almighty, ‘Whoso shall have wrought a mithkál (nay an atom) of good works shall see it again, and whoso shall have wrought a mithkál (nay an atom) of ill shall again see it’;68 and the fullest of fear is that spoken by the Almighty, ‘Doth not every man of them desire that he enter into the Paradise hight Al-Na’im?’69 and the fullest of hope is the word of the Almighty, ‘Say Me, O My worshippers who have sinned against your own souls, do not despair of Allah’s ruth’;70 and the verset which containeth ten signs is the word of the Lord which saith71 ‘Verily in the Creation of the Heavens and the Earth and in the shifts of Night and Day and in the ships which pass through the sea with what is useful to mankind; and in the rain which Allah sendeth down from Heaven, thereby giving to the earth life after death, and by scattering thereover all the moving creatures, and in the change of the winds, and in the clouds which are made to do service between the Heavens and the Earth are signs for those who understand’; and the verset wherein believe both Jews and Nazarenes is the word of Almighty Allah,72 ‘The Jews say the Nazarenes are on naught, and the Christians say the Jews are on naught, and both speak the sooth for they are on naught.’ And the verset wherein Allah Almighty speaketh purely of Himself is that word of Almighty Allah,73 ‘And I created not Jinn-kind and mankind save to the end that they adore Me’; and the verset which was spoken of the Angels is the word of Almighty Allah which saith,74 ‘Laud to Thee! we have no knowledge save what Thou hast given us to know, and verily Thou art the Knowing, the Wise.’ And the verset which speaketh of the Prophets is the word of Almighty Allah that saith75 ‘And We have already sent Apostles before thee: of some We have told thee, and of others We have told thee naught: yet no Apostle had the power to come with a sign unless by the leave of Allah. But when Allah’s behest cometh, everything shall be decided with truth; and then perish they who entreated it as a vain thing’; and the verset which speaketh of the Folk of the Fire is the word of Almighty Allah which saith76 ‘O our Lord! Bring us forth from her (the Fire), and, if we return (to our sins), we shall indeed be of the evildoers’; and the verset that speaketh of the People of Paradise is the word of Almighty Allah,77 ‘And they shall say: Laud to the Lord who abated to us grief, and verily our Lord is Gracious, Grateful’; and the verset which speaketh of Iblis (whom Allah Almighty accurse!), is the word of Almighty Allah,78 ‘He said: (I swear) therefore by thy glory, that all of them will I surely lead astray.’” Hereupon Al-Hajjaj exclaimed, “Laud to the Lord and thanksgiving Who giveth wisdom unto whoso He please! Never indeed saw I a youth like this youth upon whom the Almighty hath bestowed wits and wisdom and knowledge for all the tenderness of his age. But say me, who art thou, O young man?” Quoth the youth, “I am of the folk of these things,79 O Hajjaj.” Resumed the Lieutenant, “Inform me concerning the son of Adam what injureth him and what profiteth him?” And the youth replied, “I will, O Hajjaj; do thou and these present who are longing for permanency (and none is permanent save Allah Almighty!) be early the fast to break nor be over late supper to make; and wear light body-clothes in summer and gar heavy the headgear in winter, and guard the brain with what it conserveth and the belly with what it preserveth and begin every meal with salt for it driveth away seventy and two kinds of malady: and whoso breaketh his fast each day with seven raisins red of hue” — And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased saying her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, “How sweet and tasteful is thy tale, O sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable!” Quoth she, “And where is this compared with that I would relate to you on the coming night an the Sovran suffer me to survive?” Now when it was the next night and that was

  The Five Hundred and Fourteenth Night,

  Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!” She replied, “With love and good will!” It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that the youth continued to Al-Hajjaj: - “And whoso breaketh his fast daily with seven raisins red of hue shall never find in his body aught that irketh him; moreover, whoso each morning eateth on the spittle80 three ripe dates all the worms in his belly shall be slain and whoso exceedeth in diet of boucan’d meat81 and fish shall find his strength weakened and his powers of carnal copulation abated; and beware lest thou eat beef82 by cause that ’tis a disease forsure whereas the soured milk of cows is a remedy secure and clarified butter is a perfect cure: withal is its hide a succor for use and ure. And do thou take to thee, O Hajjaj, the greater Salve.”83 Cried the Lieutenant, “What may be that?” and said th
e youth in reply, “A bittock of hard bread eaten84 upon the spittle, for indeed such food consumeth the phlegm and similar humours which be at the mouth of the maw.85 And let not blood in the hot bath for it enfeebleth man’s force, and gaze not upon the metal pots of the Balnea because such sight breedeth dimness of vision. Also have no connection with woman in the Hammam for its consequence is the palsy; nor do thou lie with her when thou art full or when thou art empty or when thou art drunken with wine or when thou art in wrath nor when lying on thy side, for that it occasioneth swelling of the testicle-veins;86 or when thou art under a fruit-bearing tree. Avoid carnal knowledge of the old woman87 for that she taketh from thee and giveth not to thee. Moreover let thy signet ring be made of carnelian88 because it is a guard against poverty; also a look at the Holy Volume every morning increaseth thy daily bread, and to gaze at flowing water whetteth the sight and to look upon the face of children is an act of adoration. And when thou chancest lose thy way, crave aidance of Allah from Satan the Stoned.” Hereupon quoth Al-Hajjaj, “Allah hath been copious to thee, O young man, for thou hast drowned me in the depths of thy lore, but now inform me, Where is the seat of thy dignified behaviour?”— “The two eyes.” “And where is the seat of thy well-doing?”— “My tongue.” And where is the seat of thy intellect?”“My brain.” “And where is the seat of thy hearing?”— “The sensorium of mine ears.” “And where is the seat of thy smelling?”— “The sensorium of my nose.” “And where is the seat of thy taste?”— “My palate.” “And where is the seat of thy gladness?”— “My heart.” “And where is the seat of thy sorrow?”— “My soul.” “And where is the seat of thy wrath?”— “My liver.” “And where is the seat of thy laughing?”— “My spleen.”89 “And where is the seat of thy bodily strenght?”— “My two shoulders.” “And where is that of thy weakness?”— “My two calves.” Hereupon Al-Hajjaj exclaimed, “Laud to the Lord and thanksgiving; for indeed, O young man, I see that thou knowest everything. So tell me somewhat concerning husbandry?”— “The best of corn is the thickest of cob and the grossest of grain and the fullest sized of shock.”90 “And what sayest thou concerning palm-trees?”— “The most excellent is that which the greatest of gathering doth own and whose height is low-grown and within whose meat is the smallest stone.” “And what dost thou say anent the vine?”— “The most noble is that which is stout of stem and big of bunch.” “And what sayest thou concerning the Heavens?”— “This is the furthest extent of man’s sight and the dwelling-place of the Sun and Moon and all the Stars that give light, raised on high without columns pight and overshadowing the numbers that stand beneath its height.” “And what dost thou say concerning the Earth?”— “It is wide dispread in length and breadth.” “And what dost thou say anent the rain?”- -”The most excellent is that which filleth the pits and pools and which overfloweth into the wadys and the rivers.” Hereupon quoth Al-Hajjaj, “O young man inform me what women be the best” — And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased to say her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, “How sweet is thy story, O sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable!” Quoth she, “And where is this compared with that I would relate to you on the coming night an the King suffer me to survive?” Now when it was the next night and that was

  The Five Hundred and Sixteenth Night,

  Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!” She replied, “With love and good will!” It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that Al-Hajjaj said, “O young man, inform me what women be the best and the most enjoyable.”91 — “One in winning ways excelling and in comeliness exceeding and in speech killing: one whose brow glanceth marvellous bright to whoso filleth his eyes with her sight and to whom she bequeatheth sorrow and blight; one whose breasts are small whilst her hips are large and her cheeks are rosy red and her eyes are deeply black and he lips are full-formed; one who if she look upon the heavens even the rocks will be robed in green, and if she look upon the earth her lips92 unpierced pearls shall rain; one the dews of whose mouth are the sweetest of waters; one who in beauty hath no peer nor is there any loveliness can with hers compare: the coolth of the eyes to great and small; in fine, one whose praises certain of the poets have sung in these harmonious couplets,93

  ‘A fair one to idolaters if she herself should show, * They’d

  leave their idols and her face for only Lord would know.

  If in the Eastward she appeared unto a monk, for once * He’d

  cease from turning to the West and to the East bend low;

  And into the briny sea one day she chanced to spit, * Assuredly

  the salt sea’s floods straight fresh and sweet would grow.’”

  Hereupon quoth Al-Hajjaj, “Thou hast said well and hast spoken fair, O young man; and now what canst thou declare concerning a maiden of ten years old?” Quoth the youth, “She is a joy to behold.” “And a damsel of twenty years old?”— “A coolth to eyes manifold.” “And a woman thirty of age?”— “One who the hearts of enjoyers can engage.” “And in her fortieth year?”— “Fat, fresh and fair doth she appear.” “And of the half century?”— “The mother of men and maids in plenty.” “And a crone of three score?”— “Men ask of her never more.” “And when three score and ten?”— “An old trot and remnant of men.” “And one who reacheth four score?”— “Unfit for the world and for the faith forlore.” “And one of ninety?”— “Ask not of whoso in Jahím be.”94 “And a woman who to an hundredth hath owned?”— “I take refuge with Allah from Satan the Stoned.” Then Al-Hajjaj laughed aloud and said, “O young man, I desire of thee even as thou describedst womankind in prose so thou show me their conditions in verse;” and the Sayyid, having answered, “Hearkening and obedience, O Hajjaj,” fell to improvising these couplets,95