Breathe With Me

by Kristen Proby

  “Why does Jax call you all of the crazy nicknames?” I ask.

  “Oh.” She swallows and cringes. “Well, eating disorders are pretty common in the dance world. That’s no secret.”

  My hands fist in spite of myself and my whole body stills as I think of her hurting herself that way.

  “Don’t worry, I didn’t get caught in that trap. Well,” she cringes again and bites her lip. “There was one director who was just a hard ass. More so than anyone else. He told me I was too big in the boob area.” She rolls her eyes. “I can’t help that I have boobs. But I thought that if I went on a diet, I might loose some weight. Jax caught on and gave me a verbal tongue lashing.”

  “Good for him,” I murmur, pissed that anyone would even think that Meredith is fat. If anything, she’s always been too slender.

  “That director made snide comments about my chest almost every day. It was hell. But I was determined that he wasn’t going to make me quit. I worked my ass off on that job. Years later, he called and asked me to audition for another role, and I turned him down.”

  “I bet that felt good.” God, she’s so fucking amazing. She’s turned into such a strong, confident woman.

  “It was awesome to tell him to kiss my fat ass.” She giggles and leans her head on my shoulder. “So, ever since then, Jax calls me things like twinkie and cheesecake. It’s just a joke.”

  “He seems like a funny guy.”

  “One of the reasons we’re friends,” she says with a grin. “He makes me laugh. And he puts up with my moody shit. And there’s no chance in hell he’ll ever hit on me.”

  “And for that, he’s my new best friend as well.”

  She laughs and then grows quiet. The boats have slowed down and the crickets and frogs around us are talking. It’s late in the evening now, but I have no intention to leave any time soon.

  “And you? What are you doing with that impressive science degree of yours?”

  “How did you know I got a science degree?”

  “We still know a lot of the same people, you know.”

  I take a deep breath and nod. “I’m not doing a damn thing with it. I worked on fishing boats in Alaska for a while, and now I’m working construction.”

  “Okay, that’s the extreme CliffsNotes version. Expand, please.”

  I sigh and push my hand through my messy hair. Fuck, I need a haircut. I always need a haircut.

  “My degree was in aerospace engineering.”

  “Holy shit,” she replies with wide eyes. “You’re a fucking rocket scientist?”

  “No, I’m not. Haven’t you been listening?”

  “That’s just semantics. You could be a rocket scientist. How did you manage to do that so quickly?”

  I shrug and watch an owl fly over the lake. “After you left, all I did was study. I worked my ass off to get through college as quickly as possible. I was consumed with formulas and algorithms and if I was exhausted from school and work, I couldn’t concentrate on missing you.”

  I cringe and look over to see her eyes fill with tears again. “It’s okay, M,” she whispers. “It’s the truth. I did the same with dance.”

  “So, I got my undergrad and master’s in five years and then decided I didn’t want to live in a lab. I went to Alaska with a buddy of mine from college one summer. He worked the boats to put himself through college. I liked the solitude of it. I made good money.”

  “Isn’t that dangerous?” Her eyes are wide as she watches me.

  “It can be.” I’m not about to tell her about the times that I was so scared my bowels wanted to give out on me. No need to burden her with that.

  “What brought you back to Seattle?” She lies on her side, her head supported on her elbow and watches me silently.

  “My brother got married to Natalie and it just seemed like there was a lot going on with my family that I’d be missing.”

  “Luke has a beautiful family,” she replies, that wistful tone back in her voice.

  “They’re amazing,” I reply softly and let my eyes travel over her beautiful face. “The Montgomerys have become part of our family too. So, I decided I’d been away from home long enough and came back a couple years ago, around the time Jules and Nate married. Jules’ oldest brother owns a construction company and I run one of his crews.”

  “I’m surprised.”

  My eyes find hers as I cock an eyebrow. “Why?”

  “You loved science.”

  “I loved you more,” I reply without thinking and then wish I could pull the words back and throw them in the water.

  Real smooth, Williams.

  She clenches her eyes closed and then sits up and gazes over at me. “Do you know, whenever I got nervous, whether it was in an audition, or right before a show… whatever, it was your voice I heard? Breathe with me, M. I clung to that more times than I can tell you. You were with me, every day. Even when I tried to forget you.”

  “Were there other men?” I ask with a steel in my voice I can’t hide.

  “It’s been ten years. Are you going to tell me you never slept with anyone in ten years?”

  I blink at her and then look out at the water myself. “No, I can’t tell you that.”

  “I’m not going to give you a play by play, M, because I don’t want that from you either. It would fucking kill me.” Her voice is strong and sure when I turn my gaze back to hers. “But I’ll say this: you will never know how much I wished for you. Even though I knew it was selfish and wrong, I just wanted you.”

  I open my blanket and pull her against me, rest my lips on her forehead and relish how it feels to have her in my arms. She buries her face in my neck, the way she always did, and takes in a long, deep breath.

  “Do you still want me?” I ask, not sure if I really want to hear the answer.

  “Every. Day. It’s hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember.” She burrows deeper, clinging to me. “What about you?”

  “There were days,” I begin softly and rub my nose against her soft hair, “that I would have exchanged a year of my life just to touch you one more time. You are my biggest what if, M.”

  We sit in silence, clinging to each other for a long time, breathing each other in and enjoying the night around us.

  “How is it possible that you still smell the same?” she finally asks brokenly. I smile against her temple and then kiss her there.

  “I thought the same exact thing when you hugged me at Addie’s funeral.”

  “Mark, where do we go from here?”

  I tip her chin back to look in her eyes. They’re full of unshed tears and confusion. Fuck, I’m confused too.

  “Do you want to start over? Get to know each other again?” I swallow hard and watch her bite that gorgeous lower lip. “We’re not the same people we were then, M.”

  “The chemistry is still here,” she replies dryly.

  I nod, but I can’t help but wonder, is it chemistry? Or is this just simply meant to be?

  “I would like that,” she replies. “I’d like that very much.”

  Her eyes fall to my lips, and I can’t stand it any more. Those lips would tempt a saint. I lower my head and brush my lips over hers softly. Once, twice, then nibble the corner of her mouth. She sighs and moans softly, cups my face in her small hands and kisses me back. God, she feels so fucking good pressed up against me, her nipples puckered and rubbing against my chest as she pushes against me, trying to get closer.

  She opens her mouth for me, and my tongue tangles with hers and suddenly we’re kissing as if no time has passed at all. My hands remember where to hold her and her hands plunge into my hair and hold on tight, the way they always did. She sighs as my hands glide down her back to her hips and back up to her face as I pull back reluctantly.

  “God, I missed kissing you,” I murmur.

  She kisses my nose and then tips her forehead against mine. “It’s late enough that no one is out here to see us,” she says with a naughty smile.

 
; “Jesus, you’d tempt an angel into hell.” I growl and push my hands under her sweater, gliding them up and down her bare back, over the thin strap of her bra. “But I’ll be damned if the first time I make love with you again is on this fucking pier.”

  “When did you get such a potty mouth?” she asks with a laugh and kisses my cheek, still pushing her fingers through my hair.

  “Many years on a fishing boat with a bunch of men,” I reply with a chuckle. “Plus, now I spend a lot of time with the Montgomerys and they’re nothing but potty mouths.”

  “They seem like a great family.” I pull back to look into her eyes at the wistful tone of her voice.

  “We’re all getting together on Sunday. Come with me.”

  It’s not a fucking request.

  She blinks rapidly and shakes her head. “Um, we just—”

  “I want you there,” I whisper and drag my fingertips gently down her cheek. “Please.”

  “This is moving fast.”

  “We’re just making up for lost time, baby.”

  She wraps her arms around my neck and hugs me tight, buries her face in my neck and squeezes. “I’ll go.”

  I grin and hug her back. “Look.” She pulls back and follows my outstretched arm. “The sun’s coming up.”

  “Holy shit, we were out here that long?”

  “We had a lot of catching up to do,” I reply and lie back on the dock, cradling Mer on my chest. I wrap the blanket tightly around us and kiss her head as we watch the sky begin to wake up.

  “I should get home. Jax probably tried to call. I left my phone in the Jeep.”

  “You’re a grown woman and Jax can stay out of it,” I reply. “But you’ll need your sleep.”

  “Come home with me,” she says spontaneously. “No sex, I swear.”

  “Well, that’s no fun.”

  She laughs and pinches my arm. “Let’s take a nap and then I’ll cook you breakfast and we can go to a movie or something. Unless you had something else planned for your day off?”

  I think of all the things I need to get done today, including the touch up work on my bathroom, and then shove it all aside.

  “I don’t have anything more important planned than that nap and catching a movie with you.”

  “Let’s go.” She stands and helps me fold the blankets.

  “How firm are you on the no sex part of this plan?” I ask her with hope in my eyes.

  “Meh.” She shrugs and tilts her hand back and forth, as if to say so-so.

  “So you’re saying there’s a chance,” I reply with the most charming smile I can muster.

  “I always loved that naughty smile of yours.”

  “Oh, baby, just wait until you see all the other naughty things I can do.”

  Chapter Four

  ~Meredith~

  I wake slowly and blink at the sunlight falling over my face. I’m warm. Too warm, but I realize it’s not just from the sunshine.

  There’s a very big, very warm man pressed up against my back, his arm wrapped around my waist, holding me tightly to him even in sleep. As warm as I am, there’s no way in hell I’m moving out of his arms.

  Last night rushes back to me, and all I can do is sigh. It’s as though a heavy burden has been lifted. We’ve put the past behind us and can look forward. He’s a rocket scientist. He’s lived in Alaska and had so many amazing experiences since I last saw him.

  He’s grown up. But so have I, and I can’t wait to start getting to know each other all over again.

  There were days I would have traded a year of my life to touch you again. My eyes fill with tears again, and I can’t help but turn to face him, waking him up. He inhales deeply, his eyes still closed, and kisses my forehead.

  Is he really here?

  His chin is covered in stubble, begging for my hands to rub over it. His lips are full and soft, and his blond hair is a riot of mess, even messier than normal.

  We’re both still fully dressed. Even as exhausted as we were, I didn’t trust myself to sleep in my skivvies with him. I’m finding it impossible to keep my hands off him. I’ve always been attracted to Mark, from the moment our eyes met across that science classroom all those years ago. But Mark as a grown man is a sight to fucking behold.

  I sweep my hand down his neck, over his shoulder and down his arm, pausing where his T-shirt ends over his biceps.

  Jesus, the man’s arms should come with a warning label. May cause panties to spontaneously combust.

  “Go back to sleep,” he whispers and kisses my forehead again. I lift my eyes to his to see his bright blue gaze peering down at me through heavy eyelids.

  “You have great arms.”

  He growls and quickly rolls on top of me, resting on his elbows at either side of my head, brushing my hair off my face with his fingertips lazily. He sweeps his nose against mine and kisses me softly, still not quite fully awake.

  “You’re gorgeous in the morning,” he says and nibbles his way down my jawline. I feel his dick grow hard against my core through his jeans and I can’t help but wiggle, just a bit, trying to get closer. “And if you keep that up, we won’t leave this bed today.”

  “I want to cook you breakfast.” I glance over at my alarm clock. “Make that lunch. And I want to go to the movies.”

  “I want to strip you naked and kiss every inch of your incredible body.” My nipples pebble and I bite my lip as he pushes back to look down at me. “I want you, M.”

  “I know, and trust me, I want you too.” I bury my fingers through his hair and smile up at him softly. “Let’s just take today and play. I want to laugh with you today. We used to laugh all the time.”

  “That’s because you’re silly,” he says and kisses my palm twice before rolling us back to our sides.

  “I’m not going anywhere,” I say seriously. His eyes jerk back to mine, and I know that there is doubt there. I drag my fingertips down his rough cheek, over his bottom lip. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m all yours, M.”

  “Fuck yes, you are.” He kisses me with dominance, claiming me like he never did before, and it makes my body come alive against him, but he slowly backs away and glides his hand down my neck, to my breast, over my nipple and to my ribcage. “We’d better get out of this bed before I say fuck it and strip you naked, baby.”

  I smile wickedly and bite his chin gently. “Yes, sir.”

  He slaps my ass playfully as I roll away and step out of bed. I immediately stretch, like I do every morning, reaching my arms up to the sky, then bending to press my palms flat on the ground next to my feet.

  “Showing me your perfect ass isn’t helping, Mer.”

  I toss a smile over my shoulder and shake my head. “Do you only think of sex?”

  “No, sex is not all I think about.” That naughty smile spreads across his handsome face. “I also think about you naked.”

  “Come on, horn dog. I’ll make BLT’s.”

  “You eat bacon?” he asks in surprise as he pulls himself out of the bed.

  “Turkey bacon.”

  “What the fuck is turkey bacon?” He wrinkles his nose like I just told him it was tofu bacon.

  “It’s bacon made out of turkey.”

  “Then it’s not bacon.” He props his hands on his hips and I start to salivate. Jesus, Mary and Joseph the man fills out a pair of jeans nicely.

  “You’ll like it.”

  “Just call it a TLT,” he insists and follows me out to the kitchen.

  “A what?” I laugh.

  “A turkey, lettuce and tomato.”

  “Whatever makes you feel better,” I reply and smile when I see Jax sitting in the kitchen sipping water and reading a fitness magazine. “Good morning.”

  “It’s afternoon. What time did you get home?” he asks and eyes Mark suspiciously.

  “Does she have a curfew?” Mark asks coldly, glaring at Jax.

  “No, but she does require respect, and keeping her out all night and then sleeping with her isn’t respectin
g her, dude.”

  “No one,” Mark replies with fire shooting from his eyes as he advances on Jax, pushing his face close to his, “respects Meredith more than I do. You don’t know our history.”

  “I know plenty,” Jax replies softly, never breaking eye contact with Mark. “And I know I’m watching you.”

  Surprisingly, Mark sticks his hand out to shake Jax’s. “Thank you for protecting her,” he says quietly.

  “I love her,” Jax replies honestly.

  Mark nods, glances at me and then leans in to whisper something to Jax that I can’t hear.

  “Fair enough,” Jax replies with a nod.

  “Uh, can we forgo the pissing contest, boys?” I ask dryly. “No need to worry, Jax. We got in early this morning.” I pin him with my best butt out, everything is fine glare and turn to the fridge to find what I need to make lunch. “We’re going to a movie later. Wanna go?”

  “I’d love to, lollypop, but I have a date.” He grins and throws his magazine on the countertop, then leans back and crosses his arms.

  “I haven’t got my Men’s Fitness in the mail yet,” Mark says and reaches for the magazine, but I put my hand up, halting all conversation.

  “Wait. Back up. A date with who?”

  “You don’t know him.” Jax shakes his head and starts to walk out of the kitchen, but I grip his T-shirt in my fist from behind, bringing him to a stop.

  “Wait. I need details. I can’t just let you go out with some guy off the street.”

  “I don’t think he’s homeless, Mer,” Jax replies sarcastically and Mark snickers.

  “You know what I mean.”

  “Leave it alone. If it turns into anything other than sex, I’ll tell you more.”

  I cross my arms over my chest and glare at my friend. We always talk about who we’re dating. “Use condoms.”

  “Always.” He winks and saunters out of the kitchen, then turns back abruptly. “Don’t forget, we have rehearsal for Starla’s piece Monday before class.”

  “I won’t forget,” I reply and wave him off. “What did you whisper to him?”

  “Guy stuff,” Mark replies and leans his hips against the granite countertop, watching me slice a tomato.

  “You’re not going to tell me?”