The Case of the Itinerant Ibizan

by B R Snow

  “Oh, you’re going to need a lot more,” he said, laughing. “Out there refers to the other side.”

  “There’s another side?”

  “Of course there’s another side. Didn’t you go to church when you were a kid?”

  “Of course I did. I was raised to be a good little Catholic girl.”

  “Did any of it stick?”

  “Funny,” I said, making a face at him.

  “Since you were raised Catholic, the concept of the other side must be very familiar to you.”

  “Sure. But it’s always been a concept. Based on what I just witnessed, this is a whole lot different.”

  “You’ll get no argument from me,” Summerman said. “Isn’t that right, Murray?”

  The dog woofed in agreement.

  “Murray’s one as well?” I said.

  “He certainly is.”

  “Part-timer?” I said, frowning. “Is that the technical term for your…situation?”

  “Suzy, there’s really not much about my situation that can be called technical. What we’re looking at here falls under the category of…let’s call it, unexplainable spiritual phenomena.”

  “Sure, sure,” I said, nodding. “But there must be some physics involved, right?”

  “If you’re looking for a good explanation, you’re not going to get it from me. I can try to explain what we go through, but I don’t have a clue how it happens.”

  “You arrive on the first day of summer every year, and then you leave on the last day?”

  “Yes,” he said, softly.

  “And you always come and go from the same spot in the River out front?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why?”

  “Probably because that’s the spot where Murray and I died,” Summerman said, studying my reaction.

  My bottom lip quivered, and I took several short, quick breaths that seemed to echo around the room. I rediscovered my ability to breathe normally just before the onset of a panic attack.

  “This is unbelievably…”

  “Weird?”

  “Yeah, let’s go with that,” I said, nodding absentmindedly as I stared off into the distance. “But it’s just not possible.”

  “Suzy, you wouldn’t believe some of the impossible things we see over there on a daily basis.”

  “Then maybe you better tell me a bit about the other side,” I said, leaning forward.

  “What do you want to know?”

  “What’s it like?”

  “Okay, that I can tell you. Imagine having the entire universe within your grasp. And being able to go anywhere you want in the blink of an eye.”

  “Anywhere?”

  “Sure. We can spend all day bouncing through the constellations or hovering around the beach. Or hang out here if we feel like it.”

  “Hovering?”

  “Yeah, that’s the best word I’ve been able to come up with to describe it.”

  “You’ll have to excuse me if I don’t believe you, Summerman,” I said, sitting back in my chair.

  “It doesn’t matter if you believe me or not, Suzy. What matters is that you don’t talk about it. To anyone. And I can’t emphasize that point enough.”

  “Because you don’t want people to think you’re a nut job, right?”

  “No, because I don’t want Murray and me to end up as a couple of lab rats in some government experiment. And I really don’t like the idea of you getting shot or your throat slit.”

  The look he was now giving me sent a chill up my spine. I blinked several times as he stared at me, and I felt a lump begin to form in my throat.

  “So, you can actually hover anywhere you want?” I said, frowning at the absurdity of what I was asking.

  “Yeah, sure. But we spend most of our time touring Earth. I always have a few things to take care of while I’m over there, and Murray likes to spend as much time near the water as he can. But we get around. Don’t we, Murray?”

  The dog woofed one more time and climbed out from underneath the piano. It appeared that he was following the thread of our conversation and he glanced back and forth at us as if waiting to hear what was coming next.

  “I think I’m going to need a bit of proof, Summerman.”

  “What would you like to know?”

  I pondered the question, then nodded.

  “Why don’t you tell me something about myself there’s no way you could know,” I said, pleased with the question.

  “Okay, well since I left last September, you’ve been to the Caymans to visit your mom.”

  “We’d been talking about doing that for a long time. That wasn’t a well-kept secret.”

  “No, it wasn’t. But while you were down there, you and Josie rescued a group of dogs during a huge storm, decided to open another restaurant, and build an animal shelter,” Summerman said, giving me a small smile. “How am I doing so far?”

  “Lucky guess,” I whispered.

  “While you were there, two murders occurred. And, of course, you had to figure out who committed them. Nice job solving them, by the way.”

  “What?”

  “Yeah, Bill. And his wife’s name is Jerry if I remember. But then they slipped away and disappeared, right?”

  “How on earth do you know that?”

  “I just told you. By the way, they ended up in Cuba. I’m still trying to decide if I should tell anybody where they are. What do you think?”

  “What do I think? I think something very odd is happening here,” I said, stunned. “You’ve been spying on me?”

  “No. And we don’t call it spying. Do we, Murray? We were hovering. And I was keeping an eye on Josie, not you. She seems to be doing well.”

  “This isn’t possible,” I said, tears welling up in my eyes.

  “Now do you understand why I don’t want anybody to know?”

  “I’m getting a headache,” I said, groaning.

  “Let me get you something for that,” he said, getting up.

  “You should probably bring the bottle.”

  He soon returned with a bottle of Advil and a glass of water. I downed a small handful and focused on my breathing.

  “I’m having trouble accepting the fact that you can hover in anywhere you want.”

  “I’d be shocked if you didn’t.”

  “Even when I’m showering?”

  “That’s your question? Given everything I’ve just told you, your biggest concern is that I might be sneaking a peek at you while you’re taking a shower?”

  “Well, that would be pretty creepy if you did,” I said.

  “Didn’t you just sneak a peek at me earlier?”

  “Yeah, but that was different,” I said, backpedaling as fast as my little legs would go. “I was looking for you, and you just happened to be naked.”

  “I see.”

  “Checking people out while they’re showering is perverted,” I said, frowning.

  “Yes, it is,” Summerman said, nodding. “And that’s why I don’t do it. Unfortunately, some of the others over there aren’t the gentleman I am.”

  “You’re saying that there are dead people watching me while I shower?”

  “Well, technically, in their current form, they aren’t dead. And they certainly aren’t people. But, yes, I’m sure there are.”

  “You’re freaking me out here, Summerman.”

  “You asked.”

  “Yeah, I really gotta start working on that,” I said, trying to catch my breath.

  “It’s a little late for that, don’t you think?” Summerman said, casually as he lit a cigarette.

  “I didn’t know you smoked,” I said.

  “Only occasionally,” he said, exhaling smoke. “Usually when I’m stressed. And I think this qualifies.”

  “Don’t you know those things will kill you?” I said, then shook my head when I realized the stupidity of my comment.

  “I’ll take my chances,” he said, chuckling. “By the way, your Dad said to say hi.”


  My eyes grew wide, then tears began to stream down my cheeks. Summerman headed into the kitchen and returned with a box of tissues. I grabbed a handful and tried to stem the flow.

  “That was an incredibly cruel thing to say, Summerman.”

  “I’m sorry,” Summerman said. “That wasn’t my intention. I was just passing along his message.”

  “I should have stayed in bed,” I said, sobbing.

  “Without a doubt. But you didn’t, and now we need to deal with it.”

  “My father really said that?”

  “No, I just made it up to see if I could make you bawl like a baby,” he said, shaking his head. “Of course, he said it. And if he’s around at the moment, I’m sure he’s also wondering what the heck you’re doing here.”

  “What do you mean if he’s around?” I said, glancing around the library.

  “I always attract quite a crowd on crossover day,” Summerman said, running his fingers over the keyboard. “For some reason, most people over there get a kick out of watching us arrive. But I think most of them are just envious. Go ahead and give them a little wave. That always breaks them up.”

  “I think I’m going to throw up.”

  And then I did. All over the tile floor. Murray scurried back under the piano for cover while Summerman headed off to grab some towels. He handed me one, and I wiped my mouth and clothes while he cleaned up the mess I’d made on the floor.

  “You probably shouldn’t eat candy this early in the morning,” he said, glancing over his shoulder.

  “It wasn’t the candy,” I snapped, then stretched out on a couch. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” he said, climbing to his feet holding two of the used towels at arm’s length. “Considering what you’ve just learned, vomiting is the least of your problems.”

  “You really see my father over there?” I said, working myself into a sitting position.

  He tossed the towels aside, then sat on the floor with his back against the couch.

  “Sure. He tends to hang around the River most of the time, so I usually see him whenever I’m in the area.”

  “He spends his time around here?”

  “Yes. He likes to keep a close eye on you and your mom.”

  “And you talk to each other?”

  “Well, we certainly communicate. But it’s not really talking. It’s more of an innate understanding. Everybody just seems to know what others are thinking.”

  “So, it’s what, telepathic?”

  “I don’t know what it is,” Summerman said, shaking his head. “But it’s pretty cool. As long as you don’t mind knowing what everybody truly thinks about you.”

  “I think I’m going to throw up again,” I said, lurching forward.

  And then I did. All over Summerman. He grimaced when some of the vomit landed on the back of his head and dripped down his robe. He handled the situation with a lot more grace and dignity than I would have, and he grabbed the used towels and wiped up the new mess I’d made. Then he climbed to his feet and looked at me.

  “I need to shower,” he said, giving me what I was sure was a forced smile. “Are you going to be okay alone for a few minutes?”

  “I’m fine,” I said, getting to my feet. “Look, I should get going.”

  “Suzy, we haven’t finished our conversation,” he said, his voice rising.

  “I know,” I said, wobbling slightly. I put my hand on the couch for support and focused on my breathing. “But I think this is all I can handle for now.”

  “Okay,” he said, softly. “But not a word, Suzy. To anyone. And that includes Josie.”

  “She needs to know, Summerman.”

  “Yes, she does. But I’m going to be the one to tell her. Do you understand?”

  I managed a nod, then had another thought.

  “How many people know about your situation?”

  “On this side?”

  “Well, I imagine that pretty much everybody on the other side knows, right?”

  “Now you’re going to get snarky with me?” he said, raising an eyebrow at me.

  “Sorry,” I said, rubbing my forehead. “I’m a bit overloaded at the moment. Yes, I’m talking about on this side.”

  “Counting you, four. Josie will make it five. And it stops there. Do you understand what I’m telling you, Suzy?”

  “I got it,” I snapped. “Geez, you’re starting to sound like my mother.”

  “It’s so nice to be back,” he said, shaking his head. “We’ll need to continue this conversation soon.”

  “Sure, sure. Why don’t you swing by the restaurant tonight?”

  “Maybe I’ll do that,” he said. “How is she doing?”

  “She’s great,” I said. “Everything is really good at the moment. Apart from the water level, of course. And nobody has been killed in six months, so that’s good, right?”

  “I’m afraid that’s about to change,” Summerman whispered.

  “What are you talking about?” I said as my Snoopmeter turned itself on. “Somebody’s about to get killed?”

  “Yeah, I think so. If it hasn’t happened already.”

  “Summerman, I don’t think I can process any more revelations today, so let’s just cut to the chase, okay?”

  “I don’t know much about it,” he said, shrugging. “Somebody on the other side asked me to keep an eye on someone who recently came back to the area. People are always asking me to do favors for them while I’m over here. And I’d been pretty busy over there, but a couple of days ago I had a few minutes to spare, so we hovered in to see what was going on.”

  “What did you find out?”

  “Nothing. But like I said, I only had a few minutes, and when he wasn’t where the person said he was going to be, we moved on.”

  “Who is it?” I said, gently rubbing my stomach that continued to rumble.

  “I don’t even know,” he said. “I had no idea who the person who asked was, and I didn’t pay very close attention to what she was saying. Like I said, people are always asking me to do favors for them, and there’s no way I can get to all of them. I told her I’d take a look, but I was in a hurry and should have listened more carefully.”

  “That’s all the information you have? Some unknown person is about to get killed?”

  “Or already has,” Summerman said. “All I remember from the conversation is that it was a guy in his late forties who always wore a baseball cap of a minor league team.”

  “Do you remember which team it was?”

  “Sure,” he said, laughing. “The team’s name is impossible to forget. The Normal CornBelters.”

  “Odd name,” I said. “Where are they located?”

  “I have no idea. But if it were me, I’d probably start the search by looking somewhere in the Midwest,” he deadpanned. “You know, Corn Country.”

  “Good thinking,” I said, making a face at him. “Do you remember anything else?”

  “Yeah, apparently he has a dog that goes everywhere with him.”

  “What kind of dog?”

  “I don’t know the breed. But it’s supposed to be really fast and a great jumper.”

  “Wow.”

  “What is it?”

  “I think I might have seen the dog this morning. It was sitting on my dock.”

  My neurons overloaded as my stress level collided with my Snoopmeter that was redlining. I stared out at the River overwhelmed by the morning’s events.

  “Maybe he’ll come back. What kind of dog was it?” he said, watching me closely. “Are you okay, Suzy?”

  “I-be-thin,” I blurted.

  He gave me a puzzled look and held his stare.

  “Your rather bizarre transition into urban slang aside, I agree. You look great.”

  Chapter 3

  I staggered outside to my boat. Summerman and Murray followed me to make sure I could get the bow off the shore and back into the water. As we approached the boat, I reached out and poked a finge
r into Summerman’s shoulder. He stared at me like I’d lost my mind, which could have very well been the case, and I felt my face flush red with embarrassment. I forced a smile and shrugged at him.

  “Sorry. Just checking,” I said, giving the bow a push.

  “What did you expect? A misty vapor? Again, do not say a word to anyone, Suzy,” he said with purpose.

  I nodded and climbed into the boat and fired up the engine. I backed away from shore and gave him a small wave as I pointed the boat downriver. He walked toward the library rubbing the back of his neck vigorously, then he wiped his hand on his robe.

  The sun was up, and it looked like it was going to be a nice day. It had to get better from here, I decided, and I reviewed the events of the past hour and tried to comprehend what I’d seen and what Summerman had told me.

  A dead person who comes back to life three months out of the year?

  It was a ridiculous idea, and the sort of nonsense mental institutions must be filled with. But I’d seen it with my own eyes, and there was no way I could explain how he and his dog magically appeared in the River out of thin air. I was also at a loss when it came to how he knew the details of our activities in the Caymans. I felt my stomach flip and roll again, and I slowed to a crawl as I stared out at the water.

  I entered a narrower section of the River near the shore of the mainland and noticed another boat heading in my direction. I snapped out of my funk momentarily and veered right as I accelerated to give the other boat room to pass and the right of way. I waved to the other boater as she passed, then slipped back inside my head to ponder Summerman, the guy in the baseball hat who was apparently about to be killed, and my place in the universe in general. I continued to let my mind race and wander until I was brought back to reality in the blink of an eye.

  I hit the submerged dock hard, but not hard enough to throw me overboard to a watery grave, and I felt the bottom of my boat scrape against wood as it slowed. Then I heard the unmistakable sound of my outboard engine’s lower unit being sheared off. The boat stopped with the bow tilted downward in the water with the stern perched on the submerged dock. The engine continued to run, but without a propeller, I knew I wasn’t going far. I turned off the motor and peered over the stern to examine the damage. The motor was toast, but at least the boat wasn’t taking on water.