The Case of the Itinerant Ibizan

by B R Snow

  “You’re pretty funny for a cop.”

  “Agree.”

  Chapter 29

  The next morning Josie and I bantered back and forth during our morning meeting, congratulated ourselves on our ability to be diabolically clever when necessary, then sealed our new truce with a pinky swear. Then I argued with a sales rep about the price he was trying to charge us for dog shampoo and other supplies, wore him down to a nub, then headed for the Chief’s office.

  Jolene was already sitting across from him sipping a cup of coffee. I said hello to the Chief, glanced around to confirm she’d come alone, then sat down next to her.

  “How you doing, Jolene?” I said.

  “I’m okay,” she managed with great effort.

  I couldn’t believe how much worse she looked than the last time I’d seen her a few days ago. She seemed worn out, both inside and out, wasted away past the point of no return. Her face was shrunken, and the skin was beginning to sag on her arms. Her eyes were red, she seemed to be having trouble catching her breath, and she had a vacant stare that, despite her many despicable life choices, made me feel sorry for her. I felt even worse knowing what we were about to do to her.

  “Okay,” Chief Abrams said. “Let’s get started. Thanks again for coming in, Jolene.”

  “Yeah, no problem,” she said, scratching her arms harder than Chloe did when she was on the hunt for a flea. “You said you had some information about my father?”

  “Yes, I believe we do,” the Chief said. “And just so you know, I have no intention of arresting you this morning.”

  A neuron fired somewhere in her head, and her eyes came into focus.

  “Arrest me? Why would you do that?”

  “I’m not,” he said, shrugging. “I just wanted to let you know that in case you were worried.”

  “Well, I wasn’t,” she said, staring across the desk. “Until you mentioned it.”

  “Forget I said anything,” he said, sitting back and relaxing.

  “Easy for you to say,” she said, sniffling then wiping her nose with a quick swipe of her sleeve. “So, what do you have to tell me?”

  “Before I get to that,” the Chief said. “I’d like to clear up a few things if that’s okay with you.”

  She shrugged and let her eyes drift. Chief Abrams nodded at me.

  “Jolene,” I said, softly, then waited for her to focus on me. “Tell me a bit about your father.”

  “What do you want to know?”

  “Your brother mentioned that your dad had some serious mental problems he was dealing with,” I said, turning toward her.

  “Yeah, what about them?”

  “Tony said that he could function unless he went off his medication.”

  “Medications. Plural. He was on more drugs than I…ever imagined possible.”

  “Got it,” I said, glancing at the Chief.

  “Tony also said that he lost touch with your father after your mom died. He said your dad started moving around a lot but never let him know where he was or where he was going next.”

  “That’s because Tony was always the chosen one.” Jolene shrugged, then adopted a mocking tone. “Did you hear about Tony? Tony made all-conference. Tony got straight A’s. Tony this, Tony that.” She paused to catch her breath. “No, he never worried about Tony.”

  “Because he thought Tony didn’t need his help?” I said, choosing my words very carefully.

  “Probably.”

  “But he was worried about you, wasn’t he?”

  Jolene stared at me, and tears started rolling down her cheeks. Chief Abrams handed her a box of tissues, and she brushed at her eyes with a handful. Then she wiped and blew her nose. The Chief slid the trash basket closer to her then sat back in his chair.

  “Yeah,” she eventually whispered.

  “Your dad was following you and Carl around the country, wasn’t he?” I said.

  “How did you know that?” she said, wide-eyed.

  “In all honesty, it’s the only logical explanation I could come up with. I mean, for a reason why he would have been hanging around here.”

  “He wouldn’t leave us alone,” she whispered. “No matter how hard I tried to get him to go away.”

  “Your dad kept showing up trying to convince you to….” I didn’t want to let her know we knew about her and Tommy’s relationship. “To get away from Carl. And the drugs.”

  “Yes.”

  “And your father being around here was just one more time he happened to show up unannounced, wasn’t it?”

  “Yeah. But it had to stop. It had been going on for a long time. No matter how many times I moved, he’d always find a way to track me down. I don’t know how he did it, especially with the shape he was in.”

  “And he felt the same way as you, right?”

  “About what?” she said, confused.

  “That it needed to stop,” I whispered.

  She nodded, deep in thought.

  “And he finally got tired of trying to talk you out of quitting, didn’t he?”

  She nodded again, and I noticed tears beginning to collect in a small pool in front of her chair.

  “So, he decided to put on a demonstration.”

  “How did you know that?”

  “You mentioned it to me the other day when I stopped by your house?”

  “I did?” she said, frowning.

  “At the time, you were mad at me and asked if I was going to put on a demonstration. It didn’t make any sense to me at first, then it came to me.”

  “I didn’t kill my father,” she said as the sobs started and her chest began to heave. “Not directly.”

  “I know you didn’t, Jolene. The night you and Carl were in the woods, he showed up, didn’t he?”

  “Yes, he did.”

  “You and Carl were probably out there having a little fun, maybe doing the romance thing,” I said, feeling small for having to lie to her. “And when your father saw what sort of shape you were in, he decided to demonstrate what he thought you looked like when you were high on meth. He wanted you to see it for yourself, right?”

  “As if I don’t know what I look like. It’s pretty hard to miss. He poured half a bag of crystal into his mouth,” she said, cringing at the memory. “I couldn’t believe he did that.”

  “Then what happened?” I said, fighting back my own tears as I tried to get to the end of the conversation as quickly as possible.

  “He swallowed hard to get it all down, then he started ranting and raving like he always did, then he stood real still for a long time then just collapsed on the ground. I kept waiting for him to get up,” she said, staring off into the distance, replaying the scene in her head I imagined, then she exhaled loudly. “But he never did.”

  I glanced at the Chief, completely spent. I shook my head and did some staring off into the distance of my own.

  “Jolene,” the Chief said softly. He waited until she focused on him then continued. “Whose idea was it to bury your father in the woods?”

  “Does it really matter?”

  “Yes, I’m afraid it does,” Chief Abrams said, sitting forward and putting his elbows on the desk.

  She nodded and remained silent a very long time. I wondered if she was trying to decide which of the two men in her life was lying to her about the imaginary hundred grand. Then I wondered if she had finally decided to just come clean and tell the truth. And it was right around the time when I started thinking that she might not even remember whose idea it had been that my headache started. I did my best to shut my neurons down and let things play themselves out. Eventually, she looked at Chief, started to lean forward to speak, then changed her mind and closed her mouth tight. Then she finally continued.

  “It was…Carl’s idea.”

  “I see,” Chief Abrams said, sitting back in his chair.

  “Are you going to arrest him?”

  “No, not at the moment,” he said, glancing at me.

  “Well, if you plan
to, you better hurry. We’re leaving town tomorrow,” she said, suddenly focused and apparently intent on throwing Carl under the bus.

  “Where are you going?” I said.

  “Probably back to rehab,” she said.

  “That sounds like a good idea,” I said.

  “It’s what I always do when I…get this bad,” she said, shrugging. Then her neurons coalesced on a single thought, and her eyes briefly came alive. “What about the money?”

  Every ounce of sympathy I’d been able to summon for her disappeared in a flash.

  “The money? Didn’t Carl tell you about it?” the Chief said.

  “He told me some story about how you had tracked down the guy with the initials TN and planned on giving it to him,” she said, staring hard at the Chief. “But I don’t think I believe him.”

  “I see. Well, I think that’s a conversation for you and Carl to have,” the Chief said, glancing at his watch. “Suzy, we’re running late.”

  “Oh, that’s right,” I said, playing along and getting to my feet. “We better get going.”

  “I’m sorry, Jolene,” the Chief said. “But I really need to run. Why don’t you chat with Carl, and then if you still have questions, stop by in the morning before you leave town?”

  “But I need to know if I can believe Carl,” she said, grudgingly getting up from her chair and following us to the door.

  “I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” the Chief said, stepping outside into bright sunlight.

  Jolene squinted and shielded her eyes with her hands as if the sun was attacking her. We walked to my car and left her by herself on the sidewalk.

  “But what about the money?” she called out. “Hello? What about my money?”

  We climbed in the car, and I backed out of the parking spot and drove away with no specific destination in mind. I turned Miles Davis on low and let soft trumpet wash over me. Apart from ratcheting up my melancholy mood, it didn’t help.

  “That was pretty despicable on our part, wasn’t it?”

  “Not one of our finer moments,” he said, staring out through the windshield.

  “It was kinda like kicking a puppy.”

  “Yeah. Not a part of the job I enjoy very much.”

  “She almost had me. Right up to the point when she started worrying about the money.”

  “Yeah, I know, but I’m trying to cut her some slack. She’s a very sick woman,” he said, turning up the music.

  “She’s way past sick,” I said, turning left for no particular reason. “She’s dying.”

  Chapter 30

  It was Josie’s turn to make Monday dinner that evening. But, rest assured, before I began working my way through the Shepherd’s Pie, I carefully examined what was on my plate and waited until she had taken a few bites. Then, and only then, did I start eating. We might have called a truce, but I’d been burned before.

  “Are you sure you don’t mind keeping an eye out for the Nostril’s boat?” I said.

  “No, we got it covered,” Josie said.

  “We’re going to do it in half-hour shifts,” Chef Claire said. “From the living room using binoculars.”

  “You sure you don’t want to watch from outside?” I said. “Maybe down by the dock?”

  “No, as much as we hate disappointing all the mosquitos, the living room will work just fine,” Josie said.

  “Okay. Thanks for doing that. Text me as soon as you see anything.”

  “You’re sure it’s going to happen tonight?” Josie said.

  “Yes, we are,” Chief Abrams said as he helped himself to another serving. “This is fantastic, Josie.”

  “Thanks,” she said, then turned serious. “Please don’t do anything stupid tonight. Like getting shot.”

  “Don’t worry,” the Chief said. “We’re going to hang back in the woods while it plays out. The state police will be covering the shoreline as well as the dirt road where Jolene and Carl parked the last time. Nobody will even know we’re there.”

  “Except the mosquitos,” Chef Claire said. “You better slather up before you head out.”

  The Chief and I both held up the containers of bug repellent we were carrying then slid them back into our pocket. Josie and Chef Claire waved off our offer to help wash up, and we headed outside.

  We walked down to the Inn, across the dog’s play area, then out through the gate on the far side. As we approached the woods, Chief turned on his flashlight and shined it down at the ground as we carefully made our way to the spot where Jolene’s father had been buried. We came to a stop near the gravesite, and I followed the beam of the Chief’s flashlight as we decided where to hide. We needed a place where we could hear the conversation, but not be seen. I pointed to a familiar spot behind a large rock about thirty feet away from where we were standing.

  “Right over there,” I said. “It’s perfect.”

  “How on earth would you know that?” the Chief said, shining the light in my eyes.

  “Don’t do that,” I said, waving the beam away. “I’m not one of your perps.”

  “Sorry, force of habit, I guess,” he said, laughing.

  “And to answer your question, I know it’s a good spot because I’ve used it before.”

  “Really? Oh, please, do tell.”

  “I was in high school. And a lot of kids used these woods.”

  “I see. A little late-night romp in the woods under a full moon?”

  “It sounds a lot more romantic than it is,” I said. “Trust me, the only thing bare skin does out here is serve as an invitation to them to move in.”

  “Them?” the Chief said, laughing as his voice rose a notch. “You been holding out on me, Suzy?”

  “No, you idiot. I was referring to the mosquitos.”

  “Oh, the mosquitos. I see. So, you weren’t talking about your former boyfriends.”

  “No, I most certainly wasn’t,” I snapped.

  “Because they’d already been invited, right?”

  “Shut it.”

  He followed me to a soft grassy spot behind the rock laughing the entire way. I ignored him and spread a blanket out on the grass and sat down to check the sight lines. Chief Abrams sat down next to me, set the flashlight on the blanket, and left it on as he checked his phone.

  “The state police are in place in both spots,” he said, slapping his arm. “Here they come. I hate these things.”

  “Put some more repellent on.”

  “Good idea,” he said, rubbing both arms with the lotion. “Oh, you’ll be pleased to know that we tracked down a bunch of information about Larry the Landscaper.”

  “Did you get enough to put him away?”

  “Oh, yeah. Not only has he been a major distributor in Syracuse, but it also looks like all the cooking supplies that Carl has been using were purchased through Larry’s company. He’s toast.”

  “Good. Did you ever find anybody he did landscaping for?” I said, also applying another round of repellent.

  “Not a single person,” the Chief said, shaking his head.

  “Have the state police got a confession out of him?” I said, reaching for the bag of bite-sized I’d brought along.

  “No, thanks. I’m good for now,” he said, waving away the bag. “They did. Apparently, when Larry came out of his morphine haze, he took one look at the charges he was facing and tried to make a deal. He gave up Carl without breaking a sweat.”

  “What about Jolene?” I said as my phone buzzed.

  “No, he didn’t mention her. Or Tommy Nostril,” the Chief said. “The cops think he and Jolene might have had a little thing going on. And they’re pretty sure Larry doesn’t know the Nostril.”

  “Okay, Chef Claire just texted me,” I said, glancing up from my phone. “The Nostril’s boat just went past our place.”

  “We better get settled in then,” he said, turning off the flashlight.

  In the darkness, the only sound we could hear was the rustling of pine boughs in the breeze that was
beginning to stiffen. And the mouse-like crinkle of the bite-sized wrappers.

  “You might want to put the bag away,” Chief Abrams whispered.

  “This is my last one,” I said, through a mouthful of chocolate. “You sure you don’t want one?”

  “Maybe later.”

  We stretched out on our stomachs next to each other peering around opposite sides of the rock in front of us. Moments later, we saw the beam of a flashlight sweeping back and forth across the path we’d just traveled. Then we heard the sound of a car off in the distance to our left, followed by the sound of two doors closing. I held my binoculars up to my eyes and was able to identify the Nostril. He was dressed in black from head to toe, and a small backpack was draped over one shoulder. He had the flashlight pointed down at the ground and was waving his free hand around to keep the mosquitos at bay. Then he gave up and put a hand in his pocket then pulled it out holding a gun. Without removing the binoculars from my eyes, I punched Chief Abrams in the shoulder.

  “Ow. Knock it off,” he whispered. “I see it.”

  “I doubt if he plans on shooting mosquitos.”

  “Shhhh. Here come the Sniffle Twins.”

  I focused the binoculars on Carl and Jolene who were approaching from the other direction. Carl was also carrying a backpack, and he seemed angry. Jolene stumbled her way along the path looking even worse than she had this morning. Carl came to a stop about fifteen feet away from Tommy Nostril, and they glared at each other. Carl must have noticed the gun in the Nostril’s hand because he reached into his coat to retrieve one of his own. Both men continued to glare each other with their guns pointed down at the ground. Carl handed Jolene the backpack he was carrying, and she staggered briefly under the weight when she grabbed it. Uncertain where to stand, she eventually settled for standing halfway between the two men. She was facing us, and even in the dim light, I could tell she was having a hard time remaining upright.