Darker: The Inquirer

by M. S. Parker

  Well, not exactly anyway.

  I wanted sex, but I only wanted it with him.

  It was a new sensation and one that scared the shit out of me. There were times back home when I’d gone to Club Privé looking specifically for one sub or another because I knew which one would give me what I needed at that particular time. There, it’d been about who would be the best at doing what I needed done. With Bradyn, it was about him. I wanted him.

  Fuck my life.

  I gritted my teeth and made my way up the stairs to the porch. These last couple feet to the door weren’t the hardest I’d ever had to cross, but they weren’t the easiest either. I was crazy for doing this, but I couldn’t stay away. Whatever it was about Bradyn that drew me to him made it almost impossible to walk away.

  Two brisk knocks and my heart thudded as I waited. Maybe I should have called first, but by the time I’d considered that, I’d been out the door, and I’d worried that turning around for my phone would give me an excuse not to follow through. And I wanted to follow through. Just the thought of him inside me again made all those low, tight things inside me twist and turn.

  “Nyx.” He looked surprised to see me. “Are you okay?”

  I didn’t like that the first thing he thought when he saw me was that something was wrong.

  Bradyn seemed to read my mind and frowned. He reached out, his fingers brushing against mine. “What did I say?”

  I shook my head. “This was a mistake.”

  Bradyn caught my hand before I could do anything more than start to turn. “Don’t go.”

  I closed my eyes. “I don’t know what I was thinking, coming here.”

  “Hey, it’s okay. Come inside, and we’ll talk. Whatever’s wrong, we’ll figure it out.”

  “That’s exactly it.” I opened my eyes and hoped that the tears that had been burning against my eyelids didn’t spill over. “I’m not here because something is wrong.”

  “I’m confused.”

  My laugh was bitter. “That makes two of us.”

  His expression softened, and he stepped out onto the porch, the shadows making his eyes the dark blue of a night sky. “Come inside, Nyx. Please.”

  It was the please that did it. “All right.”

  The air conditioner cooled my overheated skin, drying the sheen of sweat that had gathered in the short walk between the cabins. Bradyn led me over to his couch, and I sat down, wondering what the point was of me being here now.

  “Do you want something to drink?”

  I shook my head. “Let’s just get this over with.”

  He crouched down in front of me. “Talk to me. You came here for a reason, and then something changed your mind.”

  I sighed. “How is this ever supposed to be something with us if the only time I come to you is when there’s something I need you to do or fix?”

  He thought for a moment before answering, which I appreciated, even if I didn’t think it’d make a difference. “Let me make sure I’m understandin’ this. You didn’t come here because somethin’ is wrong, and when I asked if you were okay, you felt like I assumed that if you were here, it was because you needed somethin’, not because you wanted to be here.”

  “Pretty much.” A second bitter laugh burst out of my throat. “So, tell me, how can that be the basis for anything even remotely healthy? And what’s the point, then, of even trying?”

  He leaned forward and kissed my forehead, then my cheeks, and finally, my lips. Each was just a light touch, nothing more, but they went through me in a way a deep, sensual kiss wouldn’t have right now.

  “Listen to me, my little firebird,” he said as he took both of my hands. “I don’t care if you’re here because somethin’s wrong…” He stopped and shook his head. “That didn’t come out right. I want you to come to me if somethin’s wrong. If you can’t, that’s when I’d question why we’re tryin’.”

  It made me feel better that he didn’t just automatically have the perfect thing to say. Less like I was always the fuck up, and he was the white knight. But it didn’t change the fact that I was fucked up, and Bradyn wasn’t. Having sex with someone, it didn’t matter what baggage I carried. It was just sex. But he wanted more. I just didn’t know if he understood what that really meant.

  “Let’s try this again,” he said. “Pretend you knocked on my door, and I’ve just opened it.” He winked at me, diffusing some of the tension. “Nyx, it’s good to see you. Won’t you come in?”

  “Seriously, Bradyn?”

  He grinned. “What brings you here this fine evenin’?”

  I rolled my eyes but couldn’t help smiling. “You’re really something, you know that?”

  He put his hand on my cheek and ran his thumb over the corner of my mouth. He was still smiling, but the light in his eyes had shifted from humor to something sweeter.

  “It doesn’t matter if you’re havin’ a great day or a shitty day, if you need me to help you with somethin’ or if you just want to spend time together. There will be times I’ll have shitty days too or might need your help. That’s what a relationship is, a back-and-forth, give-and-take.” His fingers curled around the back of my neck, a gesture that was oddly comforting. “We’re equals in this, firebird.”

  I wanted to believe it could be that simple, that Bradyn and I could actually do this, but I still had doubts. He was being protective now, but how long would that last?

  “You haven’t answered my question,” he said. “What brought you over tonight?”

  I gave him honesty since I didn’t have anything else to give. “You. I wanted you. Not for a distraction. Not because something’s wrong. Just because I wanted you.”

  I couldn’t decide which was sexier. The heat in his eyes or the way his entire face lit up.

  “Is that wanted, like past tense?” He was teasing me, but I understood what he was really asking.

  “Not past tense.”

  “Good.”

  He pulled me toward him, crushing our mouths together. I grabbed the front of his shirt, letting everything else wash away. I hadn’t come here to use him to get past my mental torture, and I wasn’t going to let my few minutes of insecurity turn this into that.

  Fortunately, I had a pretty good idea what to do.

  I tugged at his bottom lip with my teeth, then pulled back to rest my forehead against his. “Be in charge.”

  He didn’t move, but his eyes widened with his surprise. “Say that again.”

  He was giving me an out, but I’d meant what I said, so I did what he wanted. “Be in charge.”

  The trip from the couch to his bedroom seemed to both take forever and be over in seconds, but however long it really took, he carried me the whole way. Our mouths stayed fused together until we reached his bed, and he tossed me down with an abruptness that startled me.

  I didn’t mind, though, because as soon as I was out of his arms, he was stripping, and I got to watch all that muscle and tanned skin appear like magic. I let my eyes run over a set of abs that looked like they’d been airbrushed, following that line of curls and those v-grooves at his hips down to that thick, slightly curved piece of flesh.

  “Clothes off, and then I want you on your knees next to the bed.”

  I was tempted to make a smart remark about how it’d been pointless to put me on the bed if I was just going to be on my knees on the floor, but this power dynamic between Bradyn and myself was a new thing for me. We were still feeling things out.

  One of the lessons the different rooms at Club Privé had taught me was that, when it came to floors, a carpet might be soft, but you’d probably end up with rugburn. Or it could be like this floor, hard but smooth. It all depended on the type of pain you either wanted to receive or wanted to inflict. I’d used both kinds for myself – knees on either side of a sub’s head for oral – and for my subs – a variety of positions and reasons.

  The bed was at a perfect height for me to bend at the waist and lay my upper body flat across it. The feel of
the slightly scratchy blanket against my nipples made me shiver, and I wondered if Bradyn had bought it for that reason or if it was just an added benefit. Thinking about why he’d bought it made me wonder how many women he’d brought in here, which wasn’t what I wanted to be thinking about right now.

  Then his hand was on my back, sliding down the length of my spine to my ass. He lightly smacked one cheek and then ran a finger between them. When he brushed over my anus, I inhaled sharply, and he stopped.

  “You remember your safe words?”

  I nodded.

  “Good.”

  I didn’t have to ask what he meant. If I used my safe word, he’d stop. If I didn’t, then he’d continue with whatever he had planned.

  “I have a toy I’m going to use,” he said as the tip of his finger rubbed over that muscle. “It’s only a little bigger than my finger, and it’ll slide in there nice and easy.”

  When he pushed the tip of his finger inside, I made a whimpering sound that I would’ve hated if I hadn’t been so caught up in what he was saying.

  “Once that’s inside your ass, I’m going to fuck your pussy.”

  Oh.

  “Yellow.” The word came out before the memory could surface and that alone was enough to hold back any fear. He knew to be careful, to listen for the word to make him stop.

  “Nice and slow, firebird.” His finger came out, and I heard a familiar sound that was easy enough to place, even before the cold trickle of lube hit my skin. One hand settled at the small of my back with just enough pressure to let me know that I wasn’t supposed to move…but if I did, he’d stop me.

  “You’re going to take my finger first.”

  He did it slowly but didn’t pause, letting his finger sink into me an inch at a time. Well, not an inch. A smaller amount. But it was a gradual push, a steady burn rather than a sharp pain. Without anything else to distract me from it, though, the heat spread through my body, filling me with a promise I knew Bradyn could deliver.

  Before the night was over, I would come…hard.

  In and out it went, each time making the burn fade a little more than the last. When he added a twist of his finger, the sensation changed, and I gasped. He laughed, a low, masculine sound that did as much for me as his finger. Damn, I loved that laugh.

  The hand on my back slid around my hip and underneath me, fingers easily finding my clit. I moaned as they moved in quick circles, sending pleasure out to meet the heat, turning it into a more intense sensation than they had been apart. The two points in my body fought for my attention, but I couldn’t focus on one or the other. My fingers curled in the blanket, needing something to hold onto.

  “Come like this, firebird.”

  A shudder ran through me, and I made a desperate sound. I was vaguely aware that I had the power to stop him, and that kept me grounded enough to let him order me to come. It gave me the sort of freedom that I’d never had as a Dominant.

  “I want you to come,” he repeated. “Come with my finger in your ass and your clit being played with. Come, and I’ll give you what you really want.”

  I tensed, then exploded. The bed muffled my shout, but nothing could stop me from thrashing around, limbs desperate for movement. In the background, I could hear Bradyn telling me that I’d done well, and his pride in me filled me with a different, non-physical pleasure. Something I hadn’t even realized that I’d wanted until now.

  As I came down, my muscles relaxed, but I didn’t move from where I knelt. My knees would be hurting soon, but I trusted Bradyn to finish before the pain canceled out the pleasure.

  Something not quite hard, but definitely unyielding, pressed against my ass, and I realized that he’d taken out his finger, which meant this was the toy he’d promised. I didn’t look back to see what it was. Instead, I concentrated on letting my breathing even out.

  “I promise this will feel even better.”

  A hand on my hip helped keep me still as he eased the slender cylinder into the place where his finger had been only minutes ago. He was right. The toy was a little bigger, stretching me a little more, bringing back that burn, but I didn’t mind. I still had that haze that came after a really good orgasm, and I knew I’d have another one soon enough.

  “Damn.” He let out a low whistle. “Do you have any idea how fuckin’ gorgeous you are, firebird? Just the hint of color where the base keeps that toy in place, a reminder of how it’s all snug in that tight passage of yours.”

  Damn. If I hadn’t already come, he could’ve gotten me wet just talking like that.

  “Now, let’s see if you’re ready for my cock.”

  “I am,” I blurted out. The constant pressure in my ass was doing all sorts of weird stuff to me. I could barely stay still. I needed him to fuck me and make me come again.

  Another of those sexy laughs slid over my skin and deep inside me.

  Two fingers pushed into my pussy, and I cried out, a jolt running through me. I tightened around his fingers and around the toy, such different sensations, but definitely ones I was enjoying.

  “I’m tryin’ to decide if you’re good for my ego or bad,” Bradyn said as he drove his fingers into me with fast, rough twists. “Good because you come so pretty for me, or bad because I know once I get my dick inside you, I’m barely gonna be able to get you off before I come myself.”

  A surge of pride went through me. Pride and satisfaction that I could cause this crazy hot, insanely fuckable man to lose even a bit of his self-control.

  Then his fingers were gone, and I heard him open the condom packet. A few seconds later, the head of his cock was right at my entrance. He grabbed onto my shoulder for leverage and slammed into me with a thrust that pushed all the air from my lungs so that my scream was just a breath.

  Everything in my head vanished, and at that moment, I couldn’t even remember my own name. Still buried balls deep, he wrapped my ponytail around his fist, and all I could do was hold on as he rode me with hard, fast strokes. Him taking me like this would’ve had me writhing and crying out even without the shaft in my ass. With it, I felt myself pushed to the edge of consciousness, my mind hovering in that space where everything was just so overwhelming that it felt like the only possible outcome was death because no one could possibly feel all this and live.

  “Fuck, you feel so good.” Bradyn curled his body over mine, shortening his thrusts as he slid his hands underneath me to get at my breasts. “Come for me again, ‘cuz I’m not gonna last much longer.”

  It was too much. I didn’t think I could. I felt like my mind and body were going a thousand different ways.

  Then two sharp pinches, one to each nipple, and everything focused instantly, intensely, and I came calling out his name. The world went white, then gray, and he said my name. His cock swelled even more, and I had the distant thought that he’d come…and then nothing but darkness.

  Twenty-Three

  Bradyn

  My head jerked, startling me out of a rather pleasant dream that involved tying Nyx up and licking whipped cream off her body. I blinked, my brain trying to simultaneously process that I was awake and trying to figure out what had woken me so abruptly.

  Dark red hair spilled across my pillow, tickling my nose, and I now recognized the need to sneeze. I pinched my nose shut, not wanting to sneeze on Nyx’s head, but also not wanting to disturb her when she was sleeping so soundly. After a moment, the urge went away, and I was able to put my arm back around her.

  I didn’t try to go back to sleep, though. Knowing what I did about her, I was appreciative and proud that she trusted me enough to sleep with me. Literally sleep with me. I didn’t need her to tell me that falling asleep next to me was something she didn’t do with anyone else.

  I wasn’t under any illusions that last night’s encounter had obliterated all the negatives, and it’d be smooth sailing from here on out, but it had brought us closer together, and not just in a physical sense. Connecting on an emotional level was important, but Nyx needed to
see that what we had between us wasn’t limited to her coming to me when she was upset and me providing her with a physical distraction. I was determined to make this work, and after last night, I had hope that Nyx was too.

  She made a sound and rolled over onto her stomach. I let her go, not wanting to scare her by holding on tight, even though that’s what I wanted to do. The sheet slipped down to just above her ass, giving me a view of her entire tattoo, and I took advantage of the moment to really study the work.

  Kaimi was a true artist. That much was obvious, even to me, and I’d never been anything close to an art connoisseur. No one in my family was. Every piece of art in my family’s home had been selected by the most expensive interior designer in Savannah. She’d given my parents information on each piece, letting them sound as if they had worked with her on finding every item. Since I’d never seen Ashley show an interest in art, I assumed she’d done the same thing.

  As my eyes traced the lines up her back, my hands itched to follow. Hell, my tongue wanted to join the parade, but Nyx was sleeping, and no matter how appealing the idea of waking her up with something sensual, I wouldn’t do it. We didn’t know each other well enough for me to make assumptions about what was okay or not okay to do when she didn’t have the ability to use a safe word.

  While that option of waking her wasn’t an option right now, there was something else I could do for her. Something that I hoped would make her feel like this morning could become a normal occurrence.

  Breakfast.

  I carefully got out of bed, not wanting to disturb her, and headed to the kitchen. I was no chef, but I could handle scrambled eggs and bacon. I worked on autopilot, keeping one ear out for Nyx even as I reminded myself not to overwhelm her. Our conversation last night had gone well, but it had shown that she needed me not to push.

  “That smells good.”

  I looked over my shoulder and was struck with an almost painfully intense bolt of lust that made me wish I was wearing something a little more substantial than just the boxer-briefs I’d slept in. They didn’t do anything to hide how I got immediately and completely hard at the sight of her in one of my t-shirts. It had less to do with those long, bare legs of hers and more to do with the sudden possessiveness I felt at seeing her wearing something of mine.