The Poppy Drop

by C L Bauer

  “He’s still in surgery again. That’s all we know. Thank you so much for coming and getting me.”

  He took a sip of coffee and didn’t respond. In a war zone sometimes human kindness could get you killed but the only thing that would happen to him here was a crack in his armor. He would still be alive at the end of the day, but his heart would be a little more worn around the edges.

  He couldn’t help himself as he watched their interaction. Watching and analyzing had always been his forte even as a child. His mother was always scolding him for his absent-mindedness in church and other serious occasions, but actually he was studying. He was figuring out if that woman really loved her husband, or if that girl had been at a party the night before or if the priest was not feeling well. That behavior had become second nature for him and he utilized that skill in war and now in this job.

  Alise was nervous, her hands shaking a little. She wasn’t on drugs from what he could tell besides there was no way she could’ve sat there all day without a hit of some kind if she was. She was guilty. There might not be any crime to hang on her but her father’s mortality was in the balance and hung on her, at least that’s what she was probably thinking. And her mother knew absolutely nothing. She probably wondered if her mother would still speak to her, want her when she discovered what had been going on. And Alise was worried about her own child and what all this would do to her, what sins as a mother she would have to pay for?

  He saw Mrs. Temple rise quickly from the couch, turning to see her join a doctor. The man immediately grabbed her by the shoulders. Dev raced to the duo in time to catch her in his arms.

  He heard the scream from the couch and the little girl asking what was wrong. He moved Mrs. Temple to the couch and could see a nurse running toward the scene. The mother’s screams of pain were primal, guttural, the hurt felt by all of them around her. Alise moved to comfort her mother. The nurse checked her vitals and patted her hand. This woman was dealing with cancer and now the death of her husband, and soon, so much more. Her vitals would eventually stabilize; her life would never be the same.

  Painfully, he saw the little girl, another of John’s little girls, crawling away from the scene backwards until she could go no further and hit the wall. Dev walked away and joined her on the floor, his long legs sticking out across the floor.

  “How are you?”

  She didn’t answer. She was still holding onto the toy that had come with her meal, clenching it like it was her last tie to this earth. If she let go she would sail into nothingness.

  “It will be fine. Right now your grandmother and your mom are having a hard time.”

  “My Grandpa J is gone, isn’t he?”

  He gulped. What the hell had he gotten himself into now? His first thought was to lie. No, he learned one thing from Ms. Schmidt…lying didn’t work with those you loved. It definitely wouldn’t work with a beautiful, innocent little girl.

  “Yes. He was hurting and now he isn’t.”

  “God has him?” She looked right up into his eyes. Lord, save him. Only truth could be answered.

  “Yes, God has him. You know your grandpa was a special man and he loved you very much.”

  “I love him too.” Her gaze went to the small toy in her hand and so did Dev’s. They stared in silence. As her mother and grandmother calmed down, drank some water and asked questions of the very patient doctor who was still there, Dev heard the occasional words…a bleeder, loss of too much blood, his heart…and John was gone. He also heard FBI mentioned a couple of times and autopsy. Lord help them all now as reality ventured into the cloud of sorrow.

  Alise finally turned toward her daughter and faintly smiled. Her eyes softened and she mouthed “thank you” to Dev. He nodded, reached for the small video game and handed it to his sidekick.

  “Show me that game you were playing, please?”

  “Sure. You just don’t want me to worry about all the grown up stuff, right?”

  “That’s exactly right. But I want to see that game too.” She smiled at him and began to show him the frog, the castles and the lily pads. Lily.

  He needed to talk to her before any news stations reported the death and he needed to do it in person, no text would work. He had followed Mrs. Temple and the girls home and ordered a police detail on them just until they could make sure everything wrapped up…the Cartel, the drugs and the contact in the city.

  The little girl, Angelica, had wanted to hug him before he drove away. She’d tugged on his pants leg until he noticed.

  “Yes, Miss?”

  “You need to come down to my size.” Her mother stood right next to her, nodding in his direction.

  “She probably has something to tell you.”

  “Oh,” he said as he knelt down on the pavement in front of his pint-size new friend. “What is it, Angelica?”

  She hugged him around the neck. “I know you are a policeman just like Grandpa J. You are very brave just like him. Bye.” She kissed him quickly on the cheek and then ran into the house. He continued to kneel, his left hand touching his face where she had left her mark.

  “When will things happen to me?”

  He stood up slowly as he thought about that question.

  “Well, we have a few loose ends, some statements and we will figure this all out, together,” he answered seriously as he looked into her eyes. “Right now we have some drugs to find, still. We have someone to arrest in town, and we have to deal with the men in Miami and South America.”

  She looked down to the sidewalk. “I meant with me…do I go to jail now?”

  “No, you go inside and you stay with your family. They need you,” he answered as she raised her head in surprise. “But you know you don’t leave town. That car over there will be watching over you all until we can wrap this up. We will be in contact. Get some rest, try to write down anything and everything you can offer in a statement, I mean names, dates, times, money, drugs, anything.”

  “Thanks.” Alise began to walk up the path to the front door.

  “Oh and,” he yelled, “don’t let that little girl down ever again.”

  It was almost eight in the evening when he knocked on Lily’s front door, leaning up against the frame. He’d already checked in with her detail and informed her of the news. Apparently the policewoman’s father had worked with John. It would be sad news all around the city.

  Lily opened the door attired in her usual Sunday night relaxation wardrobe of shirt, sweats and sneakers. She looked him up and down, noticing the suit, the loose tie and the open collar. He looked tired, actually worn out and very worried. She had no idea what she looked like. Her day had been a Sunday but it wasn’t feeling like a normal day. She’d cleaned the house, every so often, stopping to grab her head and to scream out loud in anguish. One time her detail had knocked on the door furiously yelling if she was in danger. Her heart hurt. Her friend, her friend….

  “Hi.” He had no more emotion left in his body or his voice. He felt like he was returning Michael’s body back to his parents again. He actually was not thinking about anything past this moment, or these next few hours ahead with her. Hopefully she would allow him to comfort her, as best as he could. Hopefully, she could try to work through the shock she was feeling and he could help her, if she let him. If she let him.

  “You look like a man who needs a drink.” She motioned for him to come in.

  He immediately took off his jacket, throwing it on the back of a chair as he came into the living room. Next he jerked his tie off and unbuttoned two buttons on his shirt. Her focus zeroed onto the gun holstered on the side of his body. He noticed she was watching some British show on PBS. Thankfully, it wasn’t the news.

  She watched him carefully. She knew that if he stroked his fingers through his hair that he was nervous, upset. As he sat down on the sofa he played out his tell.

  “I’d love a beer but water is fine too.”

  She rushed into the kitchen. What now? What on earth now? She knew
it was more about John but she knew in her heart she didn’t want to hear anymore. She’d heard enough to last her years and seen enough to never be able to remove the visions from her memory.

  “Beer I can do. I have the one you like.”

  He didn’t answer. She flipped the cap and hurried into the living room handing it over to him.

  Surprisingly, he scooted over on the sofa and patted the cushion next to him.

  “I need to talk to you. I know last night was hard on you. No one should have to go through that but now…”

  She balled her hands together. She was suddenly so very cold, just like last night.

  “It’s John.”

  Dev nodded at her pronouncement. His eyes weren’t twinkling. The beautiful shining green color was dull and murky. He’d had a long day but she saw something more than just red tired eyes. She saw a vacancy and she understood immediately that her world was once more minus a human being.

  “Oh God. He’s really gone.” She couldn’t control the river of tears falling no more than she could quiet the sobs as he laid the beer down quickly and gathered her into his arms. They both fell back against the back of the sofa, repeating last night’s behavior. She wasn’t just his mission or the focus of a case. He wasn’t sure what she was except he needed to hold her right now and be there for her. He’d promised.

  “I’m so sorry, Lily.” He repeated it over and over until her sobs quieted. She never looked up at him as he comforted and rubbed her back, still holding her securely in his arms.

  How long had it been since he’d held someone like this, with no expectation of heading off to a bedroom? This was too intimate in so many ways. He found he couldn’t help himself around her. He had to do this, to be with her this way and to help her in any way he could.

  The PBS show was over; his shirt was wet from her tears before she jerked up suddenly. “What happened? I mean I know what happened but you were going to talk to him, he had something to say to you, right? And now he’s dead.” Her voice was hard and accusatory.

  Maybe it was just his imagination? Maybe the shock was rearing its ugly head?

  “We did talk. You know he was protecting you and his family.” Dev tried to read her expression but he received a blank stare. Apparently she had cried herself out.

  “He, well, there was a bleeder. They took him in for a second surgery. Eventually his heart gave out.”

  She shook her head back and forth. “No, no. So that’s it? It’s all over, isn’t it? But what about his wife, his daughter, oh my God, his little Angelica?”

  Dev didn’t answer. Nothing was really over, especially not for John’s family. There were times like these when your fight or flee feeling took over your body. He wanted to flee; she wanted to fight.

  “The whole thing is over now.” She had commanded and so it needed to be.

  “No.” The simpler the better in answering would be his only defense and it wasn’t a very good one.

  “No?” Lily stood up and looked down on him. “I saw a man killed last night and I saw my very dear friend shot. I heard shot after shot…do you know what that’s like?”

  Finally, he looked up directly into her eyes. He was serious, deadly serious. Of course he knew what that was like. Seemingly, darkness always made it worse. The black hole of night could be illuminated with night vision for that one shot aimed perfectly into a man to do the most damage. He knew what it was like and he hated it. He hated that she had to see and be part of it. He hated that he lived with those memories every day, some for seconds, others for minutes and those occasional weekends when those thoughts moved in and stayed way beyond their welcome.

  “I’m not going to answer that question. We have people who can help you work through this.”

  “You have people,” Lily laughed. “Well isn’t that nice. What more has to be done? How much more do you need from me…you want some blood? John already gave it.”

  She held out her arm, showing her veins to him. “What more, Agent Devlin Pierce?”

  He placed his beer down and stood up moving past her toward his jacket and tie. “We need to find the Cartel’s drugs.”

  “Well I don’t have them, Agent Pierce.”

  “And the Cartel doesn’t have them either, Ms. Schmidt. So where are they?”

  Her face hardened even more, if that was possible. “You think I have them? Are you accusing me now?”

  He picked up his things and headed to the door. “I think I better go.”

  “I think we can agree on that. You never answered me. Are you accusing me?” He stopped and turned to face her as he moved to leave.

  “No, don’t be ridiculous. But we will need you to come into the shop tomorrow and maybe we can all figure out what the hell happened to them. You’ll need to make a statement too at some point. I’ll talk to Tom and our DC office about when and where that will happen. But the drugs need to be found.”

  He was on the sidewalk when she yelled. “Do I need to bring an attorney?”

  He kept walking to his car. “Bring whoever the hell you want. It’s Monday. The shop is closed so you’ll be available. I’ll text you with the time.” His response sounded like an order, a direct one.

  He stared at her standing in the doorway as he started the car and backed out into the street.

  He’d probably only see her one more time, tomorrow. That was a good thing. All of this, she had gotten under his skin. This uncomfortableness was overwhelming. Again, vulnerability was never a good look.

  Then he saw her fall to the floor, crumpling like a paper doll. He pulled back into the driveway and ran toward her as she came up to her knees. He’d waved off the patrol cop. He pulled her up to him and held her there.

  “I’m so sorry, Dev. I don’t know how to get through this. I’m so sorry I said those things.”

  He held her head to his chest. “Me too. It’s been a long day. We will get this all sorted out. Let’s get you back inside.”

  He walked her toward the sofa and brought her a glass of water. She was wiping away more tears.

  “All I’m doing is crying and screaming. I feel useless and I feel like I did something wrong, but I didn’t did I?” She looked up to him for answers.

  “You have done nothing wrong. None of this has been your fault. You’re going to have to talk to somebody or this will eat you up alive, trust me. I know.” And he did know. Even at that you’d talk, learn skills to adapt your behaviors for what you were feeling, that feeling of helplessness and blame was never gone. It became part of you. It would remind you in the simplest of times that you were fallible, that your choices created your life and sometimes others’ decisions molded you into a different person, whether you liked it or not.

  “We both need to get some sleep after last night and then all this,” he continued. “Do you want me to stay tonight?”

  She laughed, wiping her nose on her sleeve. “My detail is going to get suspicious if you keep sending them home at night, don’t you think? Let them do their job and you get some rest.”

  Dev wondered if she even knew what she was implying. Part of him, the tired part, wanted to just stay the night, to hold her when the memories flooded her thoughts, soothe her fears and to just be a friend. That’s what they were, friends.

  The other part of him, what he considered the real Devlin Pierce, made sure her door was locked behind him, said goodnight and left her side to spend a fit-filled, sleepless six hours in a hotel bed.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  After last night’s encounter with Devlin Pierce, Lily Schmidt was not feeling particularly proud of herself, nor did she know what she was feeling. In fact, she was numb. She’d been a crazy woman, first crying in his arms and then going straight over the line into anger at him. It hadn’t been his fault that a horrible mistake created another horrible mistake which created chaos in her life and the ultimate loss of her friend. It was the Cartel’s fault; they’d goofed. Some little guy at the airport had missed a box, a very va
luable box. It had been shipped to her. They had some of their drugs but some were missing and she needed to try her very best to help find them. But she didn’t have them.

  And in the midst of the shock, confusion and grief had she actually almost asked him to sleep with her? It wasn’t as if she hadn’t thought about it, well, she wasn’t going to ask him but she thought…what had she thought? He wasn’t interested in her that way but there were times when the lines blurred. She knew she wasn’t imagining it. Or was she? Was she so desperate for love and attention that she made so much out of so little? She was a victim, a suspect. She was a woman just trying to survive at this point with emotions all over the board. She needed to prepare for this meeting but she had no idea how to do it. It wasn’t like the SAT’s when you could study for days and months for entrance into a college. Besides, she was pretty sure she had no idea what the answer was.

  Lily knew she had to give a formal statement but that probably needed to be done downtown somewhere. She’d told any agent and police officer Saturday night who would listen to her, all that had transpired before her eyes. Actually, she hadn’t seen anything while she was barricaded behind her desk, but the aftermath was still very clear in her memory. The sounds of the yelling and gunfire collected in her brain creating a scrapbook of muddled, terror-filled thoughts. Her imagination threw all caution to the wind. As she walked down to the shop from the parking lot, her imagination took a backseat to reality…John’s blood had left a discoloration of the sidewalk.

  That night he’d seen the figure in front of the glass window. He’d pushed her down under the desk and thrown the chair in front of her.

  “You don’t move, little girl. Don’t you dare come out until your boyfriend comes and gets you.”

  She saw him hit the alarm button at the side of the desk and as soon as he walked away, she hit it again. The last time she saw his face was a final look and a contrived smile before he moved toward the front of the shop. She’d heard yelling and then pop, pop, pop, a pause and then pop, pop. She was praying over and over. Maybe she heard more shots but she couldn’t really remember because of the storm. She heard the sirens and then saw the lights of the patrol cars reflected on her back wall. Slowly pushing the chair away, Lily crawled out.