The Poppy Drop

by C L Bauer

Chapter Thirty-Two

  During the winter, Abby only worked a few hours here and there leaving Lily fairly on her own. They had a wedding in a couple of weeks but for now she was alone in the store. Income was always tight during the winter and this year was proving to not be the exception. She usually did a few deliveries here and there, Valentine’s Day arrangements and the occasional funeral work but her bread and butter weddings really didn’t begin again until after Easter. It was a vicious cycle one that made her happy for the time off and neurotic because of the time off.

  Her lists were fairly short in January, most of the time jotted on post-it notes stuck to the calendar. As she sat at her computer her mind wandered more than worked. She was thinking about him.

  Dev had called her Christmas Eve on her cell phone to wish her a Merry Christmas. He sounded tired. He said he’d been out of the country and hoped she’d received her birthday flowers. She thanked him for the thoughtful gift and the joke hydrangeas but he did admit they really were his mom’s favorites, he just hadn’t known what they looked like.

  They talked for almost thirty minutes, like a comfortable couple who knew each other very well. Abby was thrilled he had asked about her and Jeremy and was actually happy to hear they were still together. He wondered if Fullerton had kept in touch and she was happy to report he was a weekly customer. The FBI agent had even brought a large tin of popcorn in for the holidays on a day when Abby and she really needed it. She told him how pretty the city was right now and he admitted he wanted to see the Plaza at Christmas sometime. He’d even said maybe next year.

  “So you are fine now?”

  “I am. I had a good end of year and now it’s pretty slow. That’s usual.”

  “No, not talking about work, Lily.”

  She’d pushed back a few tears when he had asked her that with such concern. She cleared her throat before answering.

  “Yes. I’m glad that this year is almost over. Hopefully this new one will be better.”

  “When are you visiting your sister up here?”

  “Not sure yet.”

  “Well, I want to see you when you do. I could even pick you up from the airport if I’m in town.”

  She really wanted to see him. She wasn’t sure when the anger over the secrets, lies and being used left her. Her head understood why he did what he did but it had been harder for her heart to catch up. Apparently, it was doing just that.

  “You know, Dev, I’d really like that.”

  “Well, we’ll do it then. But I have some trips coming up so don’t plan anything until May.” She couldn’t do May, nor anytime after that until the end of the year.

  “I’ll email you when I’m thinking about it and you can tell me if you’ll be around.” They really were just talking as friends. Her heart hurt but her head was content if that was the only relationship they were to have. What an idiot she had been that last time she’d seen him. She could’ve at least hugged him, kissed him on the cheek for all he had done for her. She would miss him in her life even if that relationship would only be friendship.

  “That’s all we can do, keep trying. Better let you go. Mass tonight, right?”

  “Yes, Christmas Eve. I’ll sleep in tomorrow and drop in at Patsy and John’s around one in the afternoon. They’re having Italian and have invited me.”

  “You know so many people. Remind me again who they are.”

  “Patsy, the cake lady and her husband John, the one with the horses. You talked to him about engineering when we were decorating the cake at the Hilton.”

  “Nice couple. He knew his stuff. He should be retired now. Tell them hello. Is the weather good enough for you to drive all the way out there?”

  His amazing memory was one thing she didn’t know if she would ever get used to. John had just retired a few weeks ago and their house and stables were a good hour drive south of Kansas City.

  “No snow or ice here in fact it looks like tomorrow will be in the fifties. Little chilly today but I can wear a new sweater and that makes me happy.”

  “Good. You’re prettiest when you’re happy. Merry Christmas, Lily. I’ll talk to you soon.”

  “Sure.” He had said she was pretty and better when she was happy. Had she been happy with him?

  “You have a good Christmas too and be careful,” Lily muttered. Her voice was catching. “Thank you so much for calling. You made my Christmas.” Lord, she sounded like she was talking to a client.

  “One of the best things that has happened to me, Lily, in the last few years was that drug case in Kansas City. I want you to know that meeting you was something I hadn’t expected. You know, we both plan things, sometimes we over plan. You were such a surprise. You mean a lot to me and I hope this year we can really stay in touch.”

  Lily could tell he was carefully parsing each word. He was attempting to tell some sort of truth but it was muddled by some uncertainty.

  She had to relieve his pain. “I value our friendship too.” “I’ll talk to you soon.”

  This was painful. “Bye, Dev.” And he was gone.

  Lily focused on the computer. It was now a new year and he was still gone.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  It was a beautiful Holy Thursday complete with a Cinderella blue dress colored sky with fluffy white marshmallow clouds and a warm sun that announced that spring was in full swing. Winter had been winter. As that season left, the bridal season would begin right after Easter and she wouldn’t have time to breath like she did today. After finishing lunch with Abby and completing a few tasks she needed to get done, Lily closed the shop’s door and put on the security code. As her finger planted on the key pad she shook off the memory of her friend dying in the street on that rainy night.

  Multiple snows and de-ice treatments had turned the concrete where John had laid back to its normal color. Normal? It would never be truly normal again. She looked down the sidewalk and saw the open table at the coffee shop. John wouldn’t be waiting. She still missed his common sense approach to life and that huge smile that made her feel so secure, until that night. She knew there was so much more to the story of his involvement but she had never pushed with nosy questions. Part of her really didn’t want to know. Some day maybe, but not today.

  With Lent almost over it was time to treat herself to a caffeinated beverage (she would never give up caffeine for forty days again) and to sit outside enjoying the almost perfect day. Was there ever a perfect day and would there ever be one again?

  Actually life was fairly quiet. The wedding season would bring a storm of clients and dilemmas but she could weather just about any storm after last year’s problems. Almost a year of uncertainty, danger and the multitude of questions that had come with every day had been too much in her little organized life. She used to be so sure of herself. She always acted that way in front of the rest of the world. That night at the hotel she had realized that deep inside where no one could see she was a ball of unintended nerves and unbalanced decisions. Had she kept any of those resolutions she’d made? She had wanted so much more for her life.

  She sipped her coffee, breathed in deeply and saluted John heaven-bound with her cup. As she watched people drive by, she could hear the conversation at the other table. The lovely blonde was complaining that her professor just didn’t understand her spirit…really? Was there ever a professor who understood your spirit? Maybe in Berkeley but not in Missouri. Gosh, college was a long time ago. She wasn’t even in the career she had planned all those years ago.

  Most days she didn’t think about the “what ifs” like the path not taken or the man not married.

  She had thought she would be an editor for a large newspaper or maybe teach history to eager high schoolers. Maybe she had chosen wisely. As far as the man not married, looking back on her past serious relationship, she’d known from the beginning it wasn’t going to work. Put another star in her decision making skills column. She owned her own business. She was successful in Kansas City, a small ever-growing p
ond with lots of big fish who kept trying to devour the smaller fish who just kept swimming in the crashing waves. She was living comfortably despite income being tight now and then.

  Personally, she was alone, not lonely but there were those nights when she thought of him, of Dev. She was better with Agent Devlin Pierce, even Abby had mentioned it at lunch.

  Something was missing without him and those twinkling eyes. Even danger was better with Dev.

  She’d received a message from him the other day when she had been out of the shop making deliveries. He had just left a short “hello, just checking on you” message that sounded more like a mandatory phone call than a chance to talk to her. He should’ve called the cell but he didn’t. It was a call made out of duty, his responsibility to check in on her. He was duty-bound.

  That awful responsibility gene! She also had it oozing in her DNA. She was tired of how it programmed her life. This wasn’t the life she was meant to have but now there was no getting out of it, really. She had clients, she had bills, she had stuff! She couldn’t just pack up, leave and head out on some nomadic route.

  “Breathe,” she muttered out loud as she looked up to the sky. But everyone else had left. Her mother and father had passed away, her brother had moved first and then her sister. She still had aunts and cousins here but that was it. Maybe she saw them once a year and talked to a couple every other week. Her friends had all begun families and had no time for the only single woman in the group. “Drop by when you can,” they’d say but they didn’t tell you what time or day of the week. She understood what it meant…move on, we’re too busy with our lives to be part of yours.

  She had resolved to change and some days she did like today. She refused to allow her life to be all about work from now on. The break today was just a small step in a new path. It was almost four in the afternoon by the time Lily left the outside table and headed home for a little dinner. The light on her landline was blinking. She hit the button expecting to hear the dulcet tone of the robot caller…do you have unexpected bills and need assistance from the federal government…instead it was Dev.

  “Hi Lily. I’ve been away working. I’ll try to catch you this weekend. Take care.” Ah, it was the duty bound check-in call.

  “Take care? That’s it?” Lily yelled at the machine. “Say something else, Agent Pierce!”

  But there was nothing else. She listened to the message one more time and then hit erase. Why didn’t he just call her cell? She knew why…she would answer that! She wasn’t going to waste any more time over this man. She was in her thirties. She didn’t have the luxury of fawning over some man until he decided she was the one. They had something. She thought it was love. Her breathing always stopped when she heard his voice but maybe it was desperation for a kind of future she wasn’t meant to have.

  She was alone, on her own. She just needed to get used to that and stop wasting tears and thoughts on a life that was never going to happen. She would end up a fifty-something wedding florist making other women’s dreams come true, never even revisiting her own again. She was done wasting time. Yet, she’d had such resolve and hope just a few hours earlier.

  God and she were going to have a little talk tonight.

  Lily arrived at church early. You didn’t just show up right before Holy Thursday services and expect to sit down. There would be a throng of people, usually the same familiar parishioners who attended the very solemn celebration of the first last supper. She enjoyed the quiet, the reverence of the atmosphere. Eventually the organ music began softly. She closed her eyes and continued to pray.

  Holy Week had always been special for her since childhood. She’d told Dev how her mom and she spent hours in church that one week of the liturgical year. Her mother had preferred Good Friday and its solemn hours of prayer but Lily’s favorite was tonight. Yes, it was the same every year, with the same readings and almost always the same music, but it was always a new beginning. It was the ebb and flow of the Christian tidal wave; the history of the Church in all its magnificence. There was peace in knowing that the tragedy of the crucifixion brought the mystery of the resurrection. Winter brought spring, sin brought forgiveness and maybe, just maybe this year God would bring her an answer to her depressing questions. Maybe she would have that new beginning.

  The lights were dimmed a bit as the singers took their positions. It was time to begin. It was time for the self-reflection to stop and the focus on the Lord to begin. Self pity wasn’t an option when you were looking up at a cross, at a man who died for your sins. Lily felt like a piece of garbage when she thought about it that way. Catholic guilt was indeed a powerful energy.

  As the priest began the service, the congregation rose in unison. The church was packed but people were still trying to move into the full pews. Lily was still trying to talk to God about her dilemma when she felt someone move into the pew next to her. As she moved her bag off the cushion and placed it under the pew, she never missed a note of singing. There was one more hymnal in front of her and she just picked it up and handed it to the individual next to her. His hand touched hers as she finally looked over to see a familiar military college ring.

  “I knew you’d be here,” Dev whispered.

  Lily stopped singing. She turned fully to peer into those green twinkling eyes and couldn’t speak, physically couldn’t utter a word. She thought she heard a voice from heaven. “You’re welcome, Lily. Now stop whining”.

  “Close your mouth, Ms. Schmidt unless you’re going to sing.”

  Instantly she turned back to her hymnal and tried to find her place. She discovered she couldn’t sing either. Lord, was this a dream? She glanced to the left again. He was still standing next to her. He had his “agent” looking suit on but no tie. He wasn’t singing either. He glanced toward her and smiled.

  He just smiled. He was tan. Where had he been? Why was he here now? This was the nicest surprise since her sister had tied balloons on her sports car one birthday morning. Was this an answer to all her questions or was it just the beginning of more questions? Really, she didn’t care. She just cared that he was next to her at this very moment. Stop planning, Lily, just live.

  Apparently it was time to sit down. This fog of a dream allowed peeks of movement around her but physically she could feel the reality of his shoulder up against her own.

  “What are you doing here?” she whispered.

  “Going to church with you.”

  She couldn’t take her eyes off of him. Lily had never been this distracted in church. He seemed different but maybe it was because she wasn’t a crime victim anymore. Why would he be here? Had something happened and they were back to square one with their case?

  Dumbfounded was a meek representation of what she was feeling.

  “Not work. I’m off for a few days,” he finally answered as he looked directly into her eyes. He reached over and took her hand in his. “I had a change of plans and I made a new list. At the top of that list was you. I came back for you.”

  Lily was transfixed at their interlocking hands. He was smiling warmly at her and at her only.

  He raised their hands up and softly kissed hers before laying it back down. “Did you hear me?”

  She nodded. “You made a list. That’s beautiful.”

  He had to stifle his laughter but he watched as a tear trailed down her cheek. Lily didn’t know why or how this was happening but she wasn’t dreaming. There were hundreds of people around with their presence telling her this was indeed real. It was becoming the most real night of her life.

  The services continued but he never let go of her hand. The contact that used to be an intense fire was now a warmth transforming her doubts.

  At times they had to release their hands but then his hand slid to her back. It made her feel like they were really together. Lily took a breath and released it slowly. Finally, she wasn’t alone. He was there for her. He came back for her. There was not one “to do” racing through her thoughts. There was only peace, final
ly.

  At the end of the service, the officiant explained that everyone should leave in silence.

  Usually that wouldn’t be a problem for rule- following Lily Schmidt but she wanted so badly to pepper Dev Pierce with so many question.

  She didn’t know what to begin with and now she couldn’t at all. Even out in the darkened parking lot parishioners were speaking in hushed whispers or maintaining complete silence.

  Lily was holding her car key in her right hand as they walked together in the darkness. She always felt safe with him not just because of what he did but because of who he was. As she walked, she continued to stare at him in disbelief. She had asked for direction and an answer, and in walked Devlin Pierce. Was she to really take this as a sign from God?

  Finally, she was standing next to her car and Dev stood in front of her. “So here we are.”

  “Yes.”

  Dev moved in closer to her as cars pulled out of the parking lot. One came dangerously close to them.

  “Damn, do they always have to drive like that here?”

  Lily laughed out loud. “You know they do and is that any way to talk on Holy Thursday? You just got out of church, Dev.”

  He moved his weight from left to right foot almost uncomfortably. Why was this so difficult? “I know this may not be the right time, I mean Holy Thursday, Good Friday, Easter…I know how important your faith is to you. It makes you, you. This is definitely not the right place.”

  “Dev, what are you trying to say? Is there something wrong? If there is, it doesn’t matter what time or place.”

  He smiled. “You know, you’re right. It doesn’t matter does it? It might as well be here in front of God and everyone else.”

  She looked around the emptying parking lot. “Well, there’s not so many left now.”

  He slipped his left arm behind her back and pulled her close to him with his right. She was looking up into those eyes, his chin close to her forehead.

  “I’ve been waiting a long time to do this and I’m sorry it took me so long to see what was right in front of me.”