Unbaked Croakies: A Magical Cozy Mystery with Talking Animals (Enchanting Inquiries Book 1)

by Sam Cheever

I sent her a thumbs up and her smile widened.

  I didn’t know how long the shield would last, but I intended to do what I could while it was there.

  I turned back to Alice, who was striding my way with more ugly black energy boiling at her fingertips. Without thinking about what I was doing, I threw out my palms as she had and sent another wave of silvery magic in her direction.

  The magic washed over her, blowing her frizzy brown hair off her face and pinning her plain black skirt against her legs. The magic left her untouched. But then it was supposed to.

  A Keeper’s magic wasn’t defensive in origin. It was meant for calling magical artifacts into its grasp.

  Strangely, however, I thought her curly hair looked a little…corkscrewed. Hm.

  The suitcase lifted off the floor and hung there a moment, wavering on an invisible stream of energy. For a terror-filled moment, I thought it was going to resist me. Then, with a resounding chime that turned the gnomes’ heads toward the elusive artifact, it shot straight up into the air and headed for me.

  17

  By The Goddess’s Ratty Toilet Bowl Brush!

  I reached a hand into the air and the suitcase smacked into it, wrenching my shoulder painfully from the impact and then dropping to the ground at my feet.

  Or, more accurately, on my feet. It hurt like a mother bear. With a yelp of pain, I grabbed my foot and started hopping around, as if that would help it feel better.

  The gnomes charged with a roar, the terrifying thunder of their heavy feet sounding like a herd of fleeing buffalo in the echoing space.

  Lea surged upright, screaming Sebille’s name in warning, and then shouted, “Diffusis!” and released the spell she’d woven on the air. It clung to her long fingers for a beat and then snapped backward like a web of rubber bands, smacking into the tree with a “whomp!” of energy that made the branches fold into the trunk for a beat and then blow outward, sending a tsunami of energy shooting across the space.

  One by one, the gnomes toppled beneath the impact as it hit them, crashing to the floor and agitating there like turtles turned upside down, unable to get up.

  I lost track of Sebille, but I had to assume Lea’s warning had been enough for the sprite to gather up Alice and get them both to safety.

  I had bigger problems to worry about.

  Lea’s spell managed to take all the wooden soldiers out of commission, but the big guy was still on his feet.

  And he looked peeved!

  He threw back his head on a roar that rattled the glass in the windows and stomped in our direction, each footstep shaking the floor beneath our feet.

  I glanced at Lea, expecting to find her looking terrified. But her eyes were closed and her fingers danced on the air, already mapping another spell.

  Whatever she was cooking up, I was terrified it wouldn’t happen in time.

  I looked around for Sebille and discovered both her and Alice missing.

  It was just me.

  And a hacked off ten-foot-tall gnome.

  Knobby gnome’s knees! Everything I did just seemed to make things worse.

  I forced myself to think. There had to be something I could do. I tried in vain to tug on my Keeper energy again. But, when I reached for it, nothing answered. There wasn’t even the tiniest tug of power. Either I’d expelled it all, or I was too stressed out to use it.

  Glancing down at the suitcase, I had a thought. Could I use it to get us out of there?

  I touched the old-fashioned latches on the top, and electricity arced up and bit my fingers, making me squeak in pain and jump back.

  “Glacio!” Lea screamed. Her fingers were bent, cupping the air in front of her. Green energy, smelling of fresh herbs and sweet flowers, curled from her hands and, instead of hitting like a wave as her last spell had, curled through the air and wound around the gnome’s feet and legs. He swiped angrily at the magic, flinging out a hand with a growl.

  Energy flew from his fingertips and hit the tree. Like Lea’s magic, the garden gnome's power smelled sweet and herbal, formed from the energy of growing things. But it had a decidedly more violent effect. The tree jerked and shuddered, and then sent its branches toward the sky with a rumble that might have been a growl.

  I grabbed the handle of the suitcase and started to retreat. Her eyes closed, Lea continued to send her latest spell across the room. Whatever it did, I hoped it would do it soon. The gnome was still moving toward us, although he seemed to be struggling to move his legs.

  More importantly, he seemed to have awakened the tree.

  And it hadn’t woken up happy.

  I watched in horror as it swung a branch toward Lea, hitting her hard enough to send her flying backward. She slammed into the ground on her butt and slid across the room, smacking up hard against the wall near the hallway where we’d entered.

  A series of stout vines reached out and found me, wrapping me in a sinewy embrace that pinned my arms to my sides and yanked me back when I started to run. Unlike last time, the vines weren’t gentle. They wound tightly around my body, squeezing hard enough to make my bones creak.

  My eyes bulged in terror as the thick creepers headed toward my throat.

  It wasn’t hard to figure out how that was going to end. A branch slammed into my hand, and I dropped the suitcase on a scream of pain. I was pretty sure I’d felt bones cracking under the assault.

  Gerrard Gnomish finally seemed to have ground to a halt. He stood with one foot partially lifted off the floor and his hand pointing toward the tree, locked in space. The dark eyes glittered with rage, and the lips beneath the mustaches were curled into a snarl.

  He was one hacked off gnome. And I didn’t want to be around if he managed to shove free of Lea’s spell.

  The vines climbed inexorably upward, their grip on my chest tightening to the point where I could barely fill my lungs with air.

  Panic clawed at me, drawing tears to my bulging eyes. Two very important things managed to push past the fear in my mind. One, I was going to die. And two, I was really and truly sick of gnomes.

  A door slammed, and I heard footsteps running across the tile floor. My vision was dimming as lack of oxygen took its toll. I saw the blurry outline of a too-slender woman with fire-engine red hair running toward the tree. She slowed when she reached the giant gnome, staring up at him as if wondering how he’d become frozen. Or wondering how long he’d stay that way.

  Behind me, Lea groaned. Something in my chest loosened as my fear for her at least eased.

  The encompassing vines were so tight that they were tearing into my skin. It was like being wrapped in knives. Twining their way up my body, the vines had found my throat. It was only a matter of time.

  I would soon be dead.

  Sebille turned to look at the tree. For just a beat, my vision cleared. I saw confusion in her expression. Then her gaze slid higher and stopped. Her face seemed even paler than usual, making her freckles stand out like an army of ink spots on her face.

  “Sebille,” I ground out. The word came out sounding strangled, so soft I was sure she wouldn’t hear it.

  But she started to run, and the last thing I saw as she sped toward me, was her leaping into the air and turning tiny in a bright pop of light.

  And then everything turned charcoal gray.

  Icy hands slapped me hard across the cheek.

  I grumbled at the assault, swiping at the air in front of my face and missing my assailant completely.

  “Come on, Naida,” a hostile voice said. “Stop lying around. We’ve got stuff to do.”

  I knew that voice. It was snotty and uncompromising and…

  Slap!

  …and about to belong to a dead person.

  My eyes flashed open, and my hand snapped up to grip the icy weapon before it could strike me again. “Stop. That!” I ground out grumpily.

  Sebille rolled her eyes. “Finally! I thought you were going to sleep all day.”

  At this point, I’d like to report that I was
safe at home in my little hidey-hole at Croakies. Unfortunately, that would be a lie.

  I still seemed to be lying on the floor at Gnomish, so I couldn’t have been unconscious for all that long. “How long was I out?” I asked, easing slowly to a seated position as my head throbbed like the bass in a hard rock band. I groaned, putting a hand over my eyes and resting my elbows on my knees.

  “At least five minutes. Maybe longer,” Sebille said crankily.

  I stared at her, my mouth open. “Five minutes? You were beating me senseless over five minutes?”

  Sebille stared back, completely unconcerned with my hostility.

  I gave up trying to stare her down. It wasn’t worth it. I hurt all over. “I really need to stop coming to this stupid place.”

  “I second that thought,” another voice said. I turned to find Lea heading our way. She spared me a smile and then looked at the sprite. “We need to go. He’s working through that spell pretty fast.”

  I shoved to my feet, suddenly filled with energy. “You don’t have to ask me twice,” I told her.

  The three of us started toward the front door, keeping as much distance between us and the giant gnome as possible.

  A loud creaking noise, followed by a whoosh of flower-scented air, was all the warning we got that our time was up.

  “Run!” Lea yelled.

  We took off, running for all we were worth toward the exit. As we neared the receptionist’s desk, sparks lit the air and a wooden soldier stepped from the shadows. Then another, and another, and way too many more.

  We slammed to a stop, started to turn, and realized Gerrard flippin’ Gnomish had broken clear of Lea’s spell and was turning to face us, effectively cutting us off from our secondary exit option.

  “Gnarled gnome knuckles!” I yelled. “I’m really sick of these guys.”

  We stood there for a beat, looking from the line of approaching soldiers, to the stalking giant behind us.

  “What now?” I asked my partners in crime.

  Sebille sighed. “Now, we go to Plan Z.” She grabbed the suitcase from me and threw it on the ground.

  “Hey!” I objected.

  “Open it!” she demanded, looking at me.

  “Wha…?”

  She all but stamped her foot with impatience. “Hurry up, Naida, they’re almost on us.”

  “But, I can’t…”

  “Use your Keeper magic,” Lea said, her gaze skimming from one problem to the other and her fingers dancing in the creation of a spell she wouldn’t have time to complete. “A Keeper marked it, so a Keeper should be able to open it.”

  I bit back the words pulsing on my tongue. I didn’t have enough energy left to do anything useful. And because I was such a failure, my friends and I were going to die. “I don’t think…”

  “Just do it!” Sebille screamed, sending a stream of energy into the line of oncoming gnomes. The power hit the first several soldiers and knocked them onto their wooden keisters, but the next several gnomes in line just filled in for them, and they kept coming.

  Behind the growing line, regular bursts of sparking energy told me Gerrard was still making more soldiers.

  If I didn’t figure out a way to open that suitcase, it was game over.

  I really had no choice. My entire body trembling with terror, I placed my palm over the suitcase and dug deep for my magic. To my surprise, it bubbled up in response to my searching energy, rising from my core as I wiggled my fingers and lifted my hand, feeling it flow up my arm and into my fingers. My digits lit with a hazy silvery glow just as the first gnome attacked.

  “Naida!” Sebille screamed, her hands aglow with energy that couldn’t knock the nasty little guys back fast enough.

  I panicked and threw my energy toward the suitcase. It flew off the ground enmeshed in a thin veil of silver energy and twirled around three times before slamming back to the ground.

  I expelled a frustrated breath. “I told you I couldn’t…”

  The suitcase popped open.

  Oh…

  The interior was a swirling black nothingness, interspersed with silvery strands of magic that formed a coil which narrowed as it moved from the rim of the bag to its center. “What is that?” I asked.

  “Portal.” Lea stepped closer, one leg lifted over the vortex. Her eyes met mine. “Croakies,” she said. And then she was sucked down into the vortex and was gone.

  Sebille had popped into her sprite form while I was opening the bag. Her magic seemed to have more power when she was in that form, and she’d managed to create some space between us and the oncoming hordes. She flew backward until she was inches away from me. Without glancing my way, she said. “Step into the bag and think of Croakies.”

  Behind us, a roar went up and the ground shook beneath massive, thundering footsteps.

  We were out of time.

  “I’m not leaving you…”

  “You won’t,” she screamed, turning to blast Gerrard Gnomish with an energy bolt that knocked him back a few steps.

  But not far enough. He regained his equilibrium in the space of a heartbeat and threw himself toward us, hand outstretched toward the open suitcase.

  “Now!” Sebille screamed.

  When I didn’t move, she popped into full size, wrapped herself around me, and leaped into the hole in the suitcase.

  The world went black and shimmery for a long moment, the sights and sounds of unidentifiable objects occasionally flashing past as the vortex carried us to our destination. Hopefully, Croakies, though I’d been so discombobulated, I forgot to think my destination as Sebille dragged me into the whirling miasma.

  Without warning, our feet slammed into thin, dirty carpet and we stumbled forward, barely staying on our feet as momentum carried us away from where the portal had spit us out.

  A heartbeat later, something slammed to the ground behind us.

  I turned to find the suitcase lying on the carpet where Sebille and I had come through. It was closed again.

  “By the Goddess’s ratty toilet bowl brush,” I groused, turning and sliding down the wall to my butt. “If I ever suggest that we go to Gnomish again, please hit me upside the head with something big and heavy until I’m in a coma.”

  Lea was sitting at the table in the center of the room, her head on her arms.

  Sebille staggered over to the tea counter and started making tea.

  Crazy sprite.

  But I’d definitely have my hand in the air for a cuppa when it was done. Yes, I would. “What just happened?” I asked nobody in particular.

  Lea groaned.

  Sebille set the freshly filled teapot on the stove. “That wasn’t Alice.”

  I’d figured that out, or at least considered it a possibility, but hearing the words was still startling. “Then who was it?”

  “I’m not sure,” Sebille said, “but I’ve been following her since yesterday, and at some point between her leaving here tonight and ending up at Gnomish, something changed.”

  I thought about what she’d said, remembering how Alice had been weaving around even more than usual on the drive over. And how she’d slowed at the entrance to Enchanted Park but hadn’t turned. “Alice got into her car intending to take that suitcase to the PTB,” I said.

  Lea lifted her head, nodding. “I’m pretty sure that was her.”

  Sebille didn’t respond. She busied herself with the tea things.

  A thump rattled the dividing door. A long, angry yowl filled the room. I groaned, realizing I’d neglected to feed Fenwald. I got to my feet and shuffled to the door, already apologizing to the cat. “I know. I’m sorry…” When I opened the door, the big cat came flying out of the artifact library, but he didn’t run to the tea area as he usually did, begging for food. He flew toward the front door instead, yowling and flinging himself against it as his tail snapped angrily behind him.

  “Fenwald, what…?”

  The door flew open, slamming against the wall behind it.

  Lea surged to
her feet, hands out in front of her and energy dancing over them.

  Sebille popped into sprite form and raced toward the door.

  I stood there with my mouth hanging open. Helpful as always.

  Alice stumbled through the door, collapsing to the carpet in a limp puddle.

  18

  Beware The Implements Of Travel, For They Oft Be Deadly

  “I’ve never seen him before in my life,” Alice said.

  We were all in her apartment, watching her bite gamely into a two-day-old scone that had been like granite when it had first been baked and had to be like biting into a diamond after two days. However, I noticed she’d soaked it in her tea for a couple of minutes before biting down on it.

  Somehow the rock-like pastry gave way under her teeth with a brittle sounding crunch. Those suckers had to be like T-Rex choppers.

  Sebille eyed Alice with an expression filled with doubt. “You say he was in your car when you got inside?”

  Alice nodded, chewing as if she had four inches of leather between her teeth.

  “What did he look like,” Sebille asked.

  The keeper shrugged. “No idea. He must have given me a Forget spell.”

  The way Sebille’s gaze was narrowed, I got the impression she wasn’t buying it.

  “I don’t understand why he didn’t just take the suitcase and go,” I said. Nothing that had happened to that point made any sense. And it was giving me a headache. “Why’d he use a spell to look like Alice?”

  Alice swallowed, sipping tea to flood the rigid combination of flour and butter down her throat. “Before he knocked me insensate, he said something about me and my merry band of idiots…” She gave us an apologetic look. “…getting in his way. And then he declared that he’d make sure nobody listened to us if it came to that. He likely took my form so anybody who saw me going into Gnomish would think I’d given the suitcase to Gnomish, leaving him in the clear.”

  “From what we heard, he obviously had an agreement with Gerrard,” Sebille said. “And the gnome isn’t happy that he can’t use his new toy. Heads are going to start rolling if the gnome doesn’t get a working suitcase back soon. And the wizard knows his head will be first on the block.”