Honor and Redemption

by A. C. Bextor

“I wanted you to have a beautiful life,” I whisper to the dark. “I wanted that life to be the one you chose.”

  With her cheek against my chest, I use my thumb to draw lazy circles on her lower back. Her breathing is steady, but at my confession, she takes one in and exhales a staggered, “What?”

  “Five years ago, I walked into my room and found you waitin’ for me in my bed.”

  Her body stills, save for her arm tightening around my waist.

  “All your life you’ve been told what you could or couldn’t do. Pop, Elevent, me. Even Leglas has always told you what to feel and when.”

  “I’ve been protected,” she excuses all of us. “I’ve been loved.”

  “But never by your choice.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “You’ve never fallen in love,” I explain first. “You never had a man fall at your feet, care about you the way you deserve. I wanted that for you.”

  “I fell in love the day you found me,” she replies on a lost whisper. “I never stopped, Gypsy.”

  Closing my eyes, I inhale and pull her to me as close as I can get her. Once settled, I release my self-harbored guilt. She’s telling the truth. The guilt I’ve carried for never telling her I felt the same has weighed heavily.

  “I took what I took from you, and I left you alone to process what happened between us.”

  “You didn’t take my virginity away from me, honey,” she decrees lightly.

  Honey. Fuck, I’ll never get tired of hearing that.

  “I gave it to you. Remember?”

  Fuck yes, I remember. And she has no idea what both a gift and curse her doing that has always been.

  Pressing forward, I admit, “I should have told you how I felt about leavin’. Before that night. And sure as fuck after.”

  “That was a long time ago.” Sitting up, Cricket rests both her arms on my chest. “I meant everything to you,” she acknowledges to my surprise. “A person doesn’t care about another like you cared for me, and do that without loving them.”

  I run my finger along her jaw. Not for the first time, I take in everything she is. Kind. Sweet. Caring. Beautiful.

  “That night changed my life,” I confess.

  Cricket’s eyes slam shut and she shakes her head.

  “I’ve loved you before then, Cricket,” I continue. “But that night, I fell in love with you.”

  “Gypsy.”

  “I was too late in figuring that out. By then, I had no choice but to go.”

  “Please, don’t do this,” she murmurs.

  “You have to know, Cricket. You being here with me now is like opening every gift I’ve ever been given but doin’ it all at once.”

  Cricket moves quickly. Sitting up, she tosses her leg over my hips to straddle my waist. Her palms glide up my chest, over my shoulders, stopping on each side of my neck.

  With her mouth close; her shallow breaths fan my face. “Are you here?”

  “I’m here,” I assure.

  “Are you staying?”

  “Cricket…”

  “Gypsy, honey, please. This is important.”

  “Cricket, stop.”

  “No,” she denies. “Are you here?”

  “Baby, I’m right here.”

  “Then be here.”

  Sitting up, her hands fall to the hem of her gown. She pulls it over her head and tosses it to the floor. Her hand comes to mine. Threading our fingers together, she rests my palm against her cheek.

  “This is yours,” she tells me. Positioning my hand over her beating heart, she adds, “This is yours.”

  Dragging my hand and spreading her thighs wide, she bares herself completely. Putting pressure on my fingers in her slit, she rolls her hips and gives me, “I’ve always been yours.”

  Bending forward, Cricket’s hair falls around us. She works our hands between her legs until mine covers her sex completely.

  Splitting her fingers, clinging to our connection, she breathes, “This is ours.”

  Staring into her beautiful face, I’m convinced. She’s mine. I’m hers. For good.

  Cricket tilts her head to the side, her tongue dipping out to taste my lips. She strokes my cock in the tight space between us, whispering, “Make love to me.”

  And for the first time since we’ve been together, that’s exactly what I do.

  Three days later…

  “Get this idea outta your goddamn heads.” Elevent’s growl of frustration is low and menacing.

  “You gonna hear the rest of this or not?” This comes from an irritated Sty.

  “Mia’s not fuckin’ doin’ this,” Elevent verbally puts his foot down. “What’s left to hear?”

  Not only does Elevent sound angry, he sounds downright rattled. Hearing his tone voiced in panic at the mention of Mia’s name, I inch back from my hiding place just steps outside the meeting room.

  I’m eavesdropping. Again.

  When I’d come down the stairs, I’d been on a rabid hunt for my best friend.

  The last few days, Vante’s been acting strangely. What’s more bizarre is that he’s been spending a lot of his time with Leglas.

  Yes, Leglas.

  The two have been hanging out so often, that even the girls have started to take notice. They’ve been seen mostly in the common room, drinking beers, and talking quietly amongst themselves. This wouldn’t be as suspicious if not for the fact that when others approach, their conversations immediately end. They separate, wandering off in different directions.

  The two have never really liked each other. Leglas has always been tough on Vante. In turn, Vante’s never been a champion of Leglas or his position in the club.

  I’ve racked my brain on how or why this newly found friendship formed. So far, I’ve come up empty.

  So, because I was on a mission, I headed toward the kitchen in search for Vante when I heard the loud, agitated voices coming from down the hall. I knew well enough not to listen, not to go near where the guys were huddled in discussions. Elevent would be livid at any of us for doing what I am.

  But, fortunately for me, the door had been left cracked. As if this gathering wasn’t planned and no one thought to shut it before the planning or exchanges reached this point. If caught, this is my fail-safe excuse. The door open. A little weak, but whatever.

  “Roberts and that bitch are on the hook. Right here. Right now. This is an opportunity to shut them down for good,” Sty argues.

  Roberts. Shit, my dad. Even worse, if possible, Seveena.

  “We know where they are. We know the location is far out and abandoned, but close enough to the city we won’t be openly exposed should shit go down,” Sty continues to convince. “All this goddamn intel, what more do we need? Time is now.”

  “He’s got a point,” Advay states. “The old Revers building is far enough off track. Less risk if we could keep the mess contained.”

  The Revers building Advay refers to is a rundown construction site that closed years ago. Saint’s once used the empty structure to party with other clubs, avoiding unwanted guests into their space.

  Chair legs scrape across the wooden floor before Leglas’s deep voice questions, “Does the fact that Roberts is trolling for innocent girls not tell you how sick this bastard is?”

  My stomach turns and I reach to the wall for balance. I wasn’t chosen only because I’m Tyler Roberts daughter, I was also considered all of what Leglas says. Young. Innocent. Unsuspecting.

  “Look,” Sty enters again. “I’m not gonna debate Roberts’s sick frame of mind. I’m sayin’ we can’t send just anyone in there.”

  “He’s right,” Advay voices. “We send in a hang around, she gets caught, she’ll sell us out before it starts.”

  “Are you fuckin’ kidding me?” Gypsy exasperates. “Sty, you’re not serious.”

  “If we truly want Seveena gone, we gotta consider one of our own. Cricket’s not been the same since all this shit went down, and you know it’s eatin’ away at her girls.”


  “Fuck yes, it is,” Elevent seethes. “But if one of our own gets hurt or killed, Cricket will never be the same again.”

  My eyes widen, then slam shut. They’re talking about sending in a decoy to draw my father and that woman out. That dangerous, vindictive, spiteful woman.

  “Perhaps there’s another way,” a Russian voice pushes through, this I recognize as belonging to Vlad Zalesky. The fact that he’s here, inside a meeting with the men of Saint’s, raises concern. The fact that he’s about to take charge of said meeting that has Elevent pissed off raises more. “A girl from my stable can do it.”

  “Won’t work,” Leglas instantly asserts. “Seveena will smell a play a mile away. We’ve established that if we send in a working girl, she’s as good as dead.”

  “He’s got a point,” Advay agrees. “Seveena catches wind that this is a trap, she’ll not only cut a bitch’s throat, she’ll play with her some to prove a point.”

  “Like she played with Cricket?” Gypsy seethes, and the hair on the back of my neck stands on end.

  “Seveena having her shot at Cricket wasn’t about Cricket,” Elevent voices. “Roberts gave her to Seveena because he wanted revenge on us for taking her from him.”

  “He almost got it,” Leglas includes.

  Sty sighs. “Roberts won’t leave well enough alone. He may have been looking for revenge before. Now that we have Cricket back, he’s gotta be gunning for vengeance.”

  Silence reigns. One second, two. Chairs creak. Boots shift against the floor.

  “Mia’s not doin’ this,” Elevent concludes. “The fact you’d even suggest this shit makes me wonder if all of you have lost your minds.”

  “Sunny’ll do it,” Sty decides.

  “What the fuck?”

  “You ask her and explain what we need, she won’t hesitate,” Sty claims, and my mouth falls open.

  No way. Sunny can’t. That won’t happen because I won’t let it.

  “Sty, brother,” Elevent growls. “Think about what you’re sayin’.”

  “My woman is smart,” Sty notes, and he’s right. “She’s also calm under pressure.”

  Right again, but still, no.

  A fist slams against the table. Elevent rages, “Fuck, that’s not happening either.”

  “Sunny knows people, Elevent,” Sty argues. “She reads them. Her life before this one was full of bitches. Why do you think she came to find us?”

  “Brother, you don’t have to listen to me, but for fuck’s sake, listen to yourself,” Elevent slams back. “Doesn’t matter how well Sunny can read anyone if she’s dead.”

  Beneath Elevent’s claim, the room again falls into silence. I peek my head around the corner, scanning over those in attendance.

  Leglas sits at Elevent’s side, picking at his fingernails as though bored. Sty sits next to him, staring over at Elevent wordlessly pleading for him to listen.

  Nikolas and Vlad are both here, their backs to where I stand. Gypsy sits at the far end from everyone, shaking his head in agitation.

  Sty sits up, points to the table, and explains, “Elevent, I get Mia’s yours, and I respect you don’t want her in this, and to be honest, thinkin’ on it, that’s the right call. But Sunny’s got life experience the others don’t.”

  “I’m with Sty,” Leglas accepts, and my head turns to stare at the wall.

  What did he just say? I’m going to kill Leglas, pulling him apart limb by limb to draw out the pain.

  “Job like this?” Leglas goes on. “No way Mia can sort herself to pull it off. Cricket’s not an option, either. Sunny, though? Chances are good that Seveena has no clue who Sunny is or that she’s been around.”

  “No,” Elevent denies. “Sending one of our girls into that den of fucked-up bullshit is a mission waiting to fail.”

  “We need to assess Seveena’s operation,” Vlad decrees. “If you truly wish for her to be disassembled, you cannot send your men on a blind search.”

  “If we want it disassembled?” Elevent clips angrily. “We appreciate all you’ve done, this goes without saying. But don’t sit there and claim this as a fuckin’ favor. You and your house benefit greatly if she’s gone.”

  Vlad’s back tenses, his voice low. “We’re not here to discuss my operations, Elevent. You called this meeting. Your order was for payback to Seveena and for Roberts to be flushed for good. Am I wrong?”

  “I don’t like it,” Gypsy speaks. “Any of it. But if we’re making a play, this is as good as it’ll get.”

  Mentally, I construct not one, but two large coffins. One for the giant ogre, Leglas. The other for Gypsy because I’m going to kill him, too.

  Sunny can’t go in. This is not an option. Sunny has no idea what Seveena is capable of. None of them do.

  Except me.

  “We can’t cut tail and run now, Elevent. We do that, may as well leave that target marked to Cricket’s back for anyone Roberts can get to listen,” Leglas states. “He wants revenge on Saint’s, and he won’t stop until he has it.”

  I slam my eyes shut in protest, the truth too much to bear. My father will never stop, not until all of what Saint’s did to him is avenged.

  “We’ll be close. Close enough that if shit goes the wrong way, we’ll end it,” Gypsy informs them, and I bite my tongue.

  “Fuck,” Elevent clips, permission enough given.

  “Then we’ll move with this,” Vlad decides. “I’ll send Abram to do some preliminary work. He’ll make a plan, deciding where and when. Once he does and I agree, we’ll be in contact.”

  “Fuck,” Elevent hisses again. “Sty, you gotta talk to your woman. I’ll give you this to decide, but I’ll also say I’m against it.”

  “I’ll talk to Sunny,” Sty assures. “But those girls are tight. Any of them would lay their lives down for the other.”

  Which, what Sty says is true. But holy hell and high water will cross before I let this lunacy play out. Not sure, in my small position, what I can do to stop the plan already in motion, but being as I have nothing else to do, I’m going to try.

  “So be it,” Vlad concludes.

  Sick to my stomach, and a heart heavy with worry, I turn from my place near the stairs and run as fast as I can.

  “What’s on your mind, Russian?” I query as the rest of the guys file out.

  Vlad’s lips curve up. “I’m curious, Leglas. Do you ever address a person by their given name?”

  “What’s on your mind, Zalesky?” I correct, same question, same tone, but doing as he wondered.

  Vlad shakes his head, staring down at the beat-up wooden table.

  “Something is off,” he notes. “I don’t have a good feeling.”

  “I noticed you didn't have too much to say about Sunny being the one to go in.”

  Vlad nods, concentration still held to the table. “I don’t know Sunny well enough, I’m afraid. I can’t ease Elevent’s mind in this decision should it happen or should it not.”

  “Sty is sure this is the only way to go. He trusts Sunny.”

  “Yes. Her partner seems sure of her ability to do this.”

  Partner? Jesus. These guys.

  “We’ll know soon enough once he talks to her,” he adds.

  “We will.”

  As odd as this seems, I can’t remember Vlad and I ever having a mutual vested conversation, a civil one nonetheless. Until now, our discussions have been one-sided. To threaten my behavior or bark an order he knows I won’t obey. This doesn’t say he’s an asshole, only that he’s all business all the time.

  Vlad crosses his arms over his chest and looks out the open door to our crew of crazy. No doubt with the heaviness of payback surrounding them, they all walked straight to the bar. The women likely crowded around as they usually do.

  When Vlad held back at the table, I figured something was on his mind. Sensing this, I held back as well. If he’s having doubts, Elevent needs to know. As VP, this is my job—to vet out the players and their positions.


  “Does your gut ever stir, Leglas?” Vlad tests.

  “Stir?” I clarify, and he nods, this time turning his attention in my direction. “No.”

  “You’ve never had a sixth sense that something was about to go terribly wrong?”

  “I’m more of a keep shit simple kind of guy. Take it as it comes and do with it what you will.”

  Vlad grunts in frustration, and resumes scanning our crowd with careful caution. He may be trying to put together our family’s puzzle. The task is impossible, being as we’re as scattered and as different from each other as they come.

  “There are risks not considered in doing this. All of what we’re planning could be for nothing, and your club has recently suffered grave losses.”

  He talks about the loss of Pyke and Lane, and almost the loss of Cricket had Pyke not stepped up and took the bullet in her place. The old man was dying, but no one knew. He loved Cricket like a daughter, and did as any father would. He protected her from a living monster yielding a weapon.

  “Maybe so,” I give back. “Or maybe we get this info, move forward, and that cunt gets what’s coming. No loss there.”

  “You’re so sure. So confident,” Vlad mocks in reply.

  “Why wouldn’t I be? This is simple,” I argue back. Vlad drops his gaze from the room and turns it again to the table. I continue pushing, reminding him, “One way or another, Cricket’s nightmare will be over. If this Seveena,” I mark her name fiercely, “thinks she can get away with gettin’ to us without gettin’ gone, then she’s as stupid as she is dead.”

  The malevolence in Vlad’s stare is cold, undeterred, and angry. Whatever he’s thinking, I’d hate to be on the ass end of that.

  His eyes narrow and he observes, “You truly believe this is so easy.”

  “I said the notion was simple. Simple doesn’t mean easy,” I correct. “I’m sayin’ not everything requires a plot and plan.”

  Vlad’s brows furrow. Turning his head slightly, his jaw ticks as he studies my expression. There’s nothing he’ll find in me worth an examination. I’m not a man set about sharing my feelings with strangers, or anyone, really. But a Russian mob boss? Definitely fucking not.

  Vlad tires of his search and lectures, “There will come a day you’ll wish you could live as you do now.”