Lion Hearts Tiger

by V. Vaughn

  I think about how friendly everyone was in Heartland earlier today. Tristan told me it’s a town full of shifters. Lord that seems like a lifetime ago, and I become curious. I ask, “The older woman who owns the bookstore we were at. What kind of shifter is she?”

  “Delilah? She can turn into a mountain goat.”

  “Really?” I recall Fiona, the Persian cat we ran into, and it occurs to me every animal seems possible.

  “Yeah. And your best friend Hillary shifts into a rabbit.”

  I grin, thinking about my best friend’s bubbly personality when she visited a few days ago. “So that’s why she’s so bouncy.”

  Tristan laughs. “Maybe. I just think she’s got ADHD or something too, though.”

  I squint my eyes at him before I realize he’s joking. “Be serious.”

  “Okay. Here’s the thing.” He pauses as if he’s trying to find the right words. “What we are is pretty damn amazing. Most of us feel lucky to have an animal side, and you used to feel that way too.”

  Guilt fills me as I realize I’m being so unappreciative of what must be a gift. And maybe once I can control my lion, I’ll feel that way again. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be so ungrateful.”

  Tristan releases my hand to stand up and clear the table. “Not a problem. I’m confident you’ll learn to love who you are soon enough.”

  I think about how I’m quite comfortable with my sexual side, and a memory flashes in my mind. I close my eyes to capture as much as I can.

  “What is it?” Tristan asks as he returns to the table with a plate of cookies and thumps it down between us.

  I open my eyes and take in the pile of treats. “I just remembered something.” Dance music plays in my head as I see a row of bridesmaids in low-cut dresses squeezing lemon juice on their chests followed by shaking salt on them. The distinctive aroma of tequila comes to mind. Body shots. “A big, crazy wedding.”

  “Most of them are. When someone in the community gets married, everyone goes. It’s a big event, and we’ve been to a lot of them.” Tristan chuckles as he reaches for a cookie.

  More comes to me. Sweating in a car as I ride Tristan’s cock, to be exact. I blow out a breath as I recall how hot it was in other ways. “Sex in a car. Which wedding was that?”

  He chokes on his cookie, and once he recovers, he says, “Gloria and Burt’s about six months ago. Jeez, woman. He glances down at his crotch. I’m hard again.”

  I’m not thinking about sex any longer though. I recall exchanging glances with Tristan at the wedding. The part where they were saying their vows and my heart filled with the love I felt for him. I remember wanting to be standing up at the altar with him too. I look at Tristan, wondering if my face is giving me away, and notice he’s got a faraway look in his eyes. I can’t help but hope he’s remembering how much he loved me at that moment too.

  Chapter 28

  LEXI

  I wake to find I’m alone in the guest room bed I’ve been sleeping in. My last memory is of sitting on the couch watching a movie with Tristan. I was so tired I couldn’t keep my eyes open, and I guess he carried me to bed. It’s a shame it wasn’t his, though. I stare up at the rafters and notice how a knot in the wood looks like a face as I think about our conversation about being a shifter. It seemed so important to Tristan that I understand the benefits to being one, and he appeared disappointed when I didn’t agree. I decide I need to open my mind and try to see it his way.

  I get out of bed, a little surprised that not a single muscle is stiff or sore considering the day I had yesterday. Must be those quick-healing shifter genes. Now there’s something about my biology I can appreciate.

  “Hey there, sleepyhead,” Tristan says by way of greeting when I emerge from my bedroom. “Breakfast of cinnamon toast?” He stands up from the couch to set his laptop on the coffee table to go make it.

  “Yes, but I’ve got it. You’re busy.” I glance at the clock on the stove to see it’s already nine in the morning. Tristan has likely gotten at least three hours of work in already, which means he might be open to my idea. I let him work more as I make myself breakfast, and after I’ve cleaned up my dishes as well as the ones he left in the sink, I walk over to talk to him.

  I sit in the chair across from where he’s sitting on the couch. He moves his laptop to the coffee table and asks, “What’s up?”

  “I want you to show me why being a shifter is so much fun.”

  His eyebrows rise with hope. “I’m so happy that you want to see for yourself.”

  “Well, I figure I need to. I can’t change my genetics.” I realize I’m not sounding very positive. “And you clearly enjoy it, so I want to understand why.”

  After we strip naked, we head toward the woods. It’s a little strange to be walking around without clothes on, but I’m perfectly comfortable being naked with Tristan. And it’s smart considering I don’t want to ruin another set of clothes.

  When we get to a clearing, Tristan stops moving to give me instructions. “After we shift, follow me and do what I do.” He gives me an encouraging smile. “You’re going to have fun, Lexi.”

  I nod and get myself ready to make the shift from human to lion. I crouch next to Tristan and imagine changing. He shifts almost instantly. His control is evident on his face and I’m jealous. My shift takes a bit more effort, but I manage to change faster than I did yesterday, likely due to the practice I had, and I take the win.

  In his tiger form, Tristan rubs his body against mine, and it’s as familiar as a friend brushing your arm. Comforting too. I follow him as he pads along the path deeper into the woods. When he stops to sniff at big brown mushrooms growing beside the trunk of a tall lodgepole pine tree, I do the same. My nose is filled with interesting odors. I detect nutrient-rich earth, a nuttiness, and a bit of decay. A hint of murky waters comes to me too, and I think if I dug a groove around the fungus a shallow pool of water would form. I’m not certain where the knowledge came from, but instinctually, I know it’s accurate.

  Moving on from the mushroom, Tristan stops and sticks his nose into a cluster of small, white flowers. His tail swishes back and forth in happiness. I’m curious as to why, and after he moves away, I sniff them too. The scent of rosemary with hints of oregano fills my nostrils. I’m surprised by the odor, because it’s a mix of components that actually can make up one particular smell, and I suspect humans don’t have the ability my lion does. I don’t think my human form does either.

  Tristan swishes his tail in front of me again before he glances back at me, his lips pulled back. It looks like he’s smiling. If I could laugh, I would. What comes out is a loud, low-pitched chuff, which I recall doing yesterday, and I realize it’s my lion’s way of expressing joy or happiness.

  Tristan walks up to a large tree, and lifting his upper body, he reaches up with his front paws to scratch at the bark. Divots form in the tree as bits of the bark fly off as he keeps on scratching at it like a cat filing down his claws when they get too long. When he’s done, he looks at me as if it’s my turn, and I reach up on the tree trunk, stretching my paws out as far as I can to claw at the tree, too. The satisfaction of stretching feels wonderful, but scratching is a bit like relieving an itch. No, it’s more than that. It’s like having someone massage your scalp at the beauty salon when you get your hair washed, something you didn’t realize you wanted until it happens.

  When I finish scratching, Tristan rubs against me again, and I purr in response and butt my head against his. I’m having fun in ways I never expected. And I’m beginning to understand why he likes being a shifter.

  A squirrel chatters nearby before it scampers down a tree and onto the path. Tristan gives chase. I hesitate, as yesterday’s fiasco is still fresh in my mind. I’m not sure if I should chase the rodent because I don’t want to lose control again.

  Go! Run! Chase! Screams my lion in a voice that’s hard to ignore.

  The instinct to run after the little creature is intense. I don’t think I
can deny it, and I realize that if Tristan is running, he doesn’t want me to. I give in and chase after Tristan and the squirrel. He stops on the path ahead of me and steps aside when I reach him to let me pass and lead the way.

  It doesn’t take me long to catch it. In fact, it’s easy, and I reach out with a big paw to snatch the rodent by its furry tail. It squeaks and chatters at me, as I hold it in place with my claw. I could easily lower my head and gobble it up in one bite.

  Eat!

  My lion wants me to eat it so bad I can already taste the blood in my mouth. But I want to test my control. I feel as if my human side has the power, and I take advantage of it. It occurs to me that in order to be happy as a shifter, I need my human side to always have the upper hand, and it makes me think I need to show my lion who’s boss. I exert enough control over her that I can lift my claw and let the squirrel go. Relief fills me. I have a choice. I try not to gloat when I say to my lion, Sorry, I’m the one in control.

  I turn toward Tristan, who stood nearby and watched what just happened. I can’t be sure, but I think he’s proud of me, and I can’t resist the urge to run, pounce, and take him to the ground. We roll around together, nipping at each other’s ears and muzzles, playfully.

  I get on top of him, his body trapped underneath me, and I lick his face. He quits struggling and lets me groom him. I stroke him with my tongue in a gesture that is seemingly innocent, yet incredibly intimate. A warm glow fills me with so much happiness, and that’s when I realize it; I’m in love with Tristan. I don’t need my memories to feel it, because the person I am right now is utterly and helplessly in love. I’m full of so much joy I can hardly wait to let him know.

  Chapter 29

  TRISTAN

  Once Lexi’s done licking my face and ears, I flop a big paw on her and roll her over so I can groom her in return. Except she doesn’t sit still for it, and the next thing I know we’re grunting and growling as we wrestle with each other. She nips at my ear before bounding into the trees. Tag, I’m it.

  I don’t know what changed in her, but it’s as if Lexi is totally on board with being a shifter. I chase after her through the woods, and we dart around trees and leap over fallen logs. By the time we reach the pond in the clearing, my chest is heaving, and I’m panting to catch my breath. I flop down on my side next to the water. Lexi always did have more stamina than me, and she looks like she still wants to run, but she tumbles down next to me, the ground shaking a little under her weight before she butts her head into mine.

  This is the Lexi I remember. The playful vixen who loves to run, chase, and even wrestle like a tomboy. It’s like her accident never happened, and it makes me believe we’re going to get right back there. Memories or not, Lexi’s feelings for me have deepened. I’m not sure exactly when it happened but there has been a definite shift in her touch and the way she looks at me. It’s as if she’s fallen in love with me all over again. I hope so anyway because I feel like I have too.

  I think about the ring box I have stashed away in a drawer and the desire to ask her to marry me comes rushing back. While we’re not quite there yet, we will be soon. It occurs to me that I don’t need her memory to come back to ask. I just need to find the right time.

  My tiger stirs in me. He’s restless, and I know why. He wants to mark his mate, and it’s a reminder I’m not thinking things through. Before I ask Lexi to marry me, I have to explain what that means. The bite-bonding ritual is something she might not be ready to accept. I shake my head at myself, because my love is pushing for rash decisions. Asking Lexi to marry me right now would be a huge mistake.

  Lexi gets up to rearrange her position so that she collapses on top of me. She sighs and closes her eyes. I let her sleep on top of me while I stay awake to protect her no matter what. I think about how quickly she’s accepted what she is. My Lexi is amazing in so many ways, and it makes me believe I’m underestimating her. So much so that I wonder if I really do need to wait to explain how we mark each other with a bite. Her low snore reverberates through my body, making me realize even her lion has put her complete trust in me to keep them safe. And that solidifies my belief she’s ready to know it all. When she wakes and we shift back to humans, I’m going to tell the woman I love what I plan to do.

  Chapter 30

  LEXI

  Tristan and I are just outside the cabin when we shift back to human form and a flood of memories crashes into me. I gasp and say, “I remember something about our lives together,”

  The screen door squeaks as he pulls it open for me and his eyes light up. “Tell me.”

  “A park in town. We used to visit it. There are big oak trees and so many pretty flowers sweeping around the edge. A fountain is in the middle.”

  He smiles as he hands me my stack of clothing I left sitting on the bench in the mudroom. “That park is one of your favorite places in town. We used to go there all the time.”

  I nod. My chest tightens, but I’m not sure why.

  He walks into the kitchen as he asks, “Do you want to go there? It might help you remember more.”

  I can’t explain why, but I’m hesitant. But since I want to be able to move on with my life, I nod. And then I remember Tristan doesn’t like crowds. “Are you sure you want to take me? You don’t like to be around lots of people.”

  “It’s fine. I think we should go.”

  “Okay.”

  After we shower and get dressed, we jump in the SUV and head into town. As we drive along Main Street, I gaze out the window at the businesses and townspeople. Everyone is a shifter. Like me. My lion is something I’ve come to accept, and while I’m not quite there yet, I think one day I’ll be proud of her. Of us. I understand now why it’s so important to have this community and why I moved here.

  Tristan parks the vehicle, and we walk hand in hand over to the big park behind town hall. The moment we step through the archway I stop to stare in awe. We’ve entered a zoo full of animals in so many shapes and sizes it boggles my mind. I realize the tightness I felt in my chest earlier wasn’t apprehension. It was the deep-seated memory of what this place means, and I know this is where everyone must be allowed to shift in public.

  A wolf and a fox pad along a path in front of us, and I spot a cougar lapping water from the fountain, which I realize now is just one big water dish for all the different animals milling about together in harmony. I see a chicken perch on the edge to dip her beak in for a sip too. It should be the strangest thing I’ve ever witnessed, this National Geographic program without the bloodshed, but it’s not.

  I realize I’m not just watching. I’m actually part of this community, and I’m filled with the sense that this is where I belong. My mouth opens a little in shock as a hawk swoops down from the sky and lands on a wooden post with several spokes designed for big birds to perch on. The bird looks over at us as we walk in. Tristan nods toward it, and the bird nods back.

  “That’s Jett,” Tristan tells me.

  “All the animals here are actually shifters?” I shake my head, trying to digest it. “Everyone is so peaceful. It’s hard to believe.”

  “Yes. It’s a hard concept to grasp, but that’s the beauty of Heartland. We’re a peaceful community, and I suppose it’s odd for you seeing it for the first time again.”

  “So, everyone can just shift whenever and wherever they want in town?”

  “Well, they’re free to shift in the park, in their homes, and on the street, but not in the stores or buildings. It causes too much damage.”

  I nod as I imagine the saying ‘bull in a china shop’ coming to life.

  Tristan asks, “Remember the story I told you about shifting in the movie theatre?” He points to a cinema. “That happened over there.”

  I smile, thinking about him having to scrape gum as penance. As we continue to walk something occurs to me. I ask, “If I shifted right here and got the urge to chase another squirrel, might I be chasing after some poor townsperson?”

  Tristan grabs my h
and. “Don’t worry. That won’t happen. Besides, I don’t actually know any squirrel shifters in town. Or mice, or hamsters for that matter. Although, I do know a badger. Her name is Paula and she’s a bit of a curmudgeon who likes to snap at people. Much like her badger. Trust me, if you see her, stay out of her way.”

  I laugh and wrap my arm around his waist, taking in the fascinating scene before me. It’s hard to fathom this is normal though, especially when two dogs race by, a pug chasing a pit bull, and they to shift back into humans. They’re an older couple who get to their feet, both naked, and leave the park holding hands as if it’s what everyone does. And I suppose in this town, they do.

  Tristan sees me gawking at them, and he chuckles. “That’s Norman and Kathryn Greenwood. They have been married for fifteen years and have two children. Norman is an accountant, and Kathryn is a family doctor.”

  I shake my head. “It’s… this is wonderful.” I sigh, realizing how special it is to have this kind of love and harmony. “This is an incredible town.”

  “It really is.”

  As we walk, we nod in greeting at the shifters who seem to know us. And while one doesn’t talk to other animals, I notice Tristan is unusually quiet. I look up at him and wonder if there’s something on his mind. “Are you okay?” I ask. “Is there something wrong?”

  He presses a kiss to the top of my head. “You’re so perceptive, baby. There is something I need to tell you about shifter life, but I’m worried about how you’ll react.”

  Oh god, here it comes. He’s going to tell me something like we have to sacrifice goats to a shifter god or something for the idyllic life we lead here in town. While I don’t really believe that’s it, I am concerned about what it might be. And I’m too curious not to ask what it is.

  “You can tell me, Tristan.” I stop walking and turn to face him. Placing my hand on his heart, I say, “I need to know everything about what I am. Good or bad. So, whatever it is, I’m ready.”